₦airaland Forum

Elxandre:
Ok, how about you get a grown house keeper? (like 40 years)
Cos there's no way you can vouch for your aunty that she wouldn't mistreat that girl.

A grown housekeeper is likely to pose any threat to your wife (I mean as regards to her husband)
No offence intended.

Your DP tho.
Are you related to Kim Kardashian?

ariyike23:
please an househelp is needed in lagos to take care of house chores and watch after kids when they are back from school. if you are interested,pls pm me. age btw 15 to 18

ariyike23:
lol @ labour market,sha take it easy.. i did mail you this night...

ariyike23:
lol @ labour market,sha take it easy.. i did mail you this night...

sofadj:
This kind of relationship will constantly give you sleepless nights.
Sweet today, bitter tomorrow.

She's confused because, she has seen some guy that she considers better for her in a way ( that may be true or not)

The earlier you get out the better for you.

Deep inside you, you know its the right thing to do, but you are being cowardly. Its not easy though considering you must have sacrificed a lot for her and thinking of the stress of starting from the scratch with someone new.

What you shouldn't do
Don't call her asking for clarifications on your relationship, she has already shown you through her actions and by saying she's confused. Also she wouldn't be specific.

Don't outdo yourself by trying new ways to show you love and care. I'm sure she knows that already. Besides that will only make you commit more and make her more powerful. Also it will make the ultimate break-up more hurting.


What yo should do
"Call her up, tell her you can't deal with her attitude anymore and break up"

Move on bro.


Trust me, 6 months from now, you will be glad you broke up.

If you do anyother thing, you will only be postponing the "break up day"

ariyike23:
hmmn ok,,buh ah didnt get it,,lemme reload my mail

ariyike23:
hmmn ok,,buh ah didnt get it,,lemme reload my mail

ariyike23:
i jes did..

jeffizy:
[color=#007700] As hard as it is, you have taken the bull by the horns.

You, my man, deserves 5 crates of Gulder the ultimate. [/color]

Ayoolajumoke:
Sigh... All the best then.

ariyike23:
lol...its okay as long you dont expect me to cure your broken heart..jes kidding..

Ayoolajumoke:
Please scantee, forgive her.

ariyike23:
yeah,i live and work in lag..

ariyike23:
lol..yeah..kos i was on native and the gele thing.. thanks anyways

ariyike23:
lol..yes..u av askd me bf..do i look different frm d first pic??

cosmo84:
Sorry chief, I don't think you should be upset with jeffizy's post. You might not see it but from your write up, the issue of hostel accommodation n school fees is an essential part of this discussion as u both fit a stereotype except you can't bear the whole truth currently. Pls dnt vex for me o.

My advice: Pick up n move on. You seem a good person. You will find someone deserving of your kind. Trust me she'll realise what she lost in you sooner or later.

9japrof:
thanks joor, yep doing small small jobs now wey I dey combine.with ma.full time.job.

Buh Na big big contracts dey hungry me now

ariyike23:
its all good,jes give urself a break frm all these heart issues.. lol,they are really stressful,thats why i am dating myself,its too stressful trying to fulfill the needs(emotional nd odas) of someone who wuldnt even move a foot for u. she may adjust,u guys may still reconcile buh dont force it.

ariyike23:
its all good,jes give urself a break frm all these heart issues.. lol,they are really stressful,thats why i am dating myself,its too stressful trying to fulfill the needs(emotional nd odas) of someone who wuldnt even move a foot for u. she may adjust,u guys may still reconcile buh dont force it.

Moana:
all red flags have been raised but it seems like you want someone to convince you to keep the relationship going

Moana:
the devil is playing foosball with your life

yetseyi:
UWC

Sorry I m not igbo so kindly translate.

yetseyi:
I agree with that perfectly and its a source of concern IMHO she should have told him no and not entertain him again



Its a possibility





Anybody can crush on anybody at any time



I understand how you feel though and you have every right to feel betrayed ( most men would) but ultimately she didn't cheat on you. I think you should be more concerned about the initial statement I made in my other post about being able to ward of guys when they come knocking even after marriage. honestly the distance is not helping you guys.

I would still say talk with her know whats on her mind she may just be a bit skeptical.

And also you need to work on yourself too, I can see you avoided the professional caller part i mentioned, no lady will see that and be happy at all( I have to be honest) it just doesn't speak well at all.

Talk things through with her bro this can still be sorted out.

yetseyi:
Scantee, I saw your thread and mention even though you spelt it wrongly. I wil try to be as objective as possible.





All what you said here i didnt see any place where she said she called of the relationship or you called off the relationship, She said she had a crush on a guy, having a crush on someone is not a sin in all honesty, the true test is always if you move ahead to the next level. The guy asked her out and she declined ( most likely because of her commitment to you).

Are you feeling betrayed because she had a crush on another guy, declined dating him, informed you about it or because she said she is confused?

You lost trust in her coz she told you about the supposed crush?

Please answer the questions.

Scantee, most girls do have guys that are always on their neck for a relationship or even get proposals from men when they are already hooked, Infact married women get asked out and pestered by men( even when you tell them you re with someone) and the ability to say no is always the game changer.

[/b]I am concerned that she actually allowed the guy to continue visiting her in the hostel, I would have thought she wouldnt have entertained him further, the reason I brought this up is because if you are going to marry that Lady she will be alone for most times in the year for about half of the year based on the kind of job you do. She will meet all kinds of men and thank God you know that the statement " I am married does not deter some guys". Will she break under intense pressure when you are absent, If she cant put off a toaster now will she be able to cope with your prolonged absence, you know her kind of person, you should be able to answer this question. Men come with sweet mouth saying all sort of things to win the prize and she has to be emotionally mature enough to make a stand and stay by it. Some women cant stand distant relation ships and marriage[b] The bolded is actually my major concern

One thing that is established is that she did not cheat on you even though she had the opportunity to. I think you are "crowding" her too much for her to say she is tired of you. She may just feel overwhelmed, she says she is confused and wants to do her project alone, I think you should just calm down and let her have her project and in the process she will rethink and cool her head off, dont take any drastic measure just let her "think". That doesn't mean you should not call or text or know how she is doing but please not on per second billing for now. She will come around. Sometimes we tend not to appreciate what we have until we lose it for a while.

One more thing I think you should have a long talk with her to know exactly what she wants, " I want to do my project alone" is too vague

she seems to be a good and honest person.It will do you good if you do not heed to all the flirt around with girls advice's you have been getting
Just get past the hurt and betrayal you are thinking you feel.

It also seems you cant cope with the knowledge that other men will try to win your girls heart, bros men will always go after your girl oo, If that is what is hurting you you need to shake it off.

That she is confused and she had a crush and turned down relationship is not enough to call of an engagement

Most importantly since you are a christain Pray, really pray. God knows the innermost intents of the heart he will tell you who she truly is.

Kindly respond on this thread


Modified: I just read through some comments on that FP thread and all I will say is Scantee give her another chance oooo, She has not commited any major offence, one doesn't call of a relationship because his fiancee confessed that she had a crush and turned him down.

Okay so I took some time to go through your profile and I saw the call friend thread like seriously who does that and I think you mentioned shes on nairaland and you know she will see it, no wonder your girl is saying she is confused, she annoys you then you want to talk to another lady ( professionally as you call it) bros you also need to work on some things about yourself too. . When you marry and your wife nags you will you employ a professional female listener? . It really is unfair

yetseyi:
Scantee, I saw your thread and mention even though you spelt it wrongly. I wil try to be as objective as possible.





All what you said here i didnt see any place where she said she called of the relationship or you called off the relationship, She said she had a crush on a guy, having a crush on someone is not a sin in all honesty, the true test is always if you move ahead to the next level. The guy asked her out and she declined ( most likely because of her commitment to you).

Are you feeling betrayed because she had a crush on another guy, declined dating him, informed you about it or because she said she is confused?

You lost trust in her coz she told you about the supposed crush?

Please answer the questions.

Scantee, most girls do have guys that are always on their neck for a relationship or even get proposals from men when they are already hooked, Infact married women get asked out and pestered by men( even when you tell them you re with someone) and the ability to say no is always the game changer.

[/b]I am concerned that she actually allowed the guy to continue visiting her in the hostel, I would have thought she wouldnt have entertained him further, the reason I brought this up is because if you are going to marry that Lady she will be alone for most times in the year for about half of the year based on the kind of job you do. She will meet all kinds of men and thank God you know that the statement " I am married does not deter some guys". Will she break under intense pressure when you are absent, If she cant put off a toaster now will she be able to cope with your prolonged absence, you know her kind of person, you should be able to answer this question. Men come with sweet mouth saying all sort of things to win the prize and she has to be emotionally mature enough to make a stand and stay by it. Some women cant stand distant relation ships and marriage[b] The bolded is actually my major concern

One thing that is established is that she did not cheat on you even though she had the opportunity to. I think you are "crowding" her too much for her to say she is tired of you. She may just feel overwhelmed, she says she is confused and wants to do her project alone, I think you should just calm down and let her have her project and in the process she will rethink and cool her head off, dont take any drastic measure just let her "think". That doesn't mean you should not call or text or know how she is doing but please not on per second billing for now. She will come around. Sometimes we tend not to appreciate what we have until we lose it for a while.

One more thing I think you should have a long talk with her to know exactly what she wants, " I want to do my project alone" is too vague

she seems to be a good and honest person.It will do you good if you do not heed to all the flirt around with girls advice's you have been getting
Just get past the hurt and betrayal you are thinking you feel.

It also seems you cant cope with the knowledge that other men will try to win your girls heart, bros men will always go after your girl oo, If that is what is hurting you you need to shake it off.

That she is confused and she had a crush and turned down relationship is not enough to call of an engagement

Most importantly since you are a christain Pray, really pray. God knows the innermost intents of the heart he will tell you who she truly is.

Kindly respond on this thread


Modified: I just read through some comments on that FP thread and all I will say is Scantee give her another chance oooo, She has not commited any major offence, one doesn't call of a relationship because his fiancee confessed that she had a crush and turned him down.

Okay so I took some time to go through your profile and I saw the call friend thread like seriously who does that and I think you mentioned shes on nairaland and you know she will see it, no wonder your girl is saying she is confused, she annoys you then you want to talk to another lady ( professionally as you call it) bros you also need to work on some things about yourself too. . When you marry and your wife nags you will you employ a professional female listener? . It really is unfair

ariyike23:
im glad that u are beta now.. mind you,dont hate her ,hating some1 is bad for ur health and mind

MarieSucre:
I only advised him based on this post. In this POST I did not see anything about the woman sleeping in a strange man's house or the like, so apologise if I gave him incorrect advise without seeing the whole. As you can see I did tell him at the end of my post that if it does not work out he should seek closure or do you wear glasses.

Me advocating for op to give this particular woman attention who is also his woman does not equal me advocating for MEN not to get attention. Pls stay on the issue. I can't help it if you have comprehension issues.

The rest of what you wrote is trash that I can barely deign with a response.

From a white ass licking man slut like you. I laugh in Swahili.

Na your kind dey bring shame on Nigeria like that stupid Ideye Brown. What are you still doing replying me on this thread. why don't you go and prostitute yourself for your green card. If you go hard enough you might become white soon. mtchewww


scantee I thought she was not cheating on you but just having a crush. I didn't see it as something to throw away something you have invested in in. But if she is cheating in you, dan Allah don't look back, just walk away. The world is such a big place and no human is worth such continuous heartache . Run!

edit never ever EVER listen to olodo jomoh.

potbelly:
Like i always say relationships should be symbiotic for it to work but from your statements it seems you are more into the relationship than the girl.
scantee, I know it can be painful based on the time, emotional and financial investments made. But truth be told, you need to gradually wean yourself off her.
Now the things you need to do:If you call her everyday before, stop doing that. try one a week, then once in two or three weeks. don't be quick to return her calls or msgs and don't be the first to initiate all the I love you talk. also don't give her too much attention as before (u can hang out with friends and have fun to keep your mind off her).If she notices these changes and she really cares about you and loves you she will behave herself and retrace her footsteps if she doesn't my brother its best you walk away.
Always remember a woman who doesn't give you peace of mind is not worth been on your mind.
P.s say hi to paul and kate (those twin dolphins you dey see everytime) when next you go to the coasts. Cheers mate!

9japrof:
Scantee if there is anyway you can get your mail across to me, my email is doggedbb@yahoo.com

I want to send honest analysis with references of what I think would help you. it looks like a long epistle that's why I dont wanna bore this thread with it plus blunt and harsh statements I think I would direct towards you. It would be my last contribution on this love matter.

All our other discussions more especially on business section still remains intact.


.

BiafranAvatar:
[color=orange]Bro...


Don't break up with her... She has her final year exams coming, its a great burden to her and plus maybe, some guys out there who knows that she's about to leave the camp are hell bent, maybe to date or to taste her honey pot (sorry for that)... Their pressure on her can make her call it a quit not cuz she wants it that way but she can't help it...


She really needs you now more than she ever did (she admitted that yes, she crushed/crushing on someone and she kinda laughed when you asked if she's tired of you)... She just wanted to get into you heard with that part —but, she's never tired of you but rather into you like never before...


You said after her final year is straight to marriage, even that thought of getting married alone could get her confused so I will advice you like someone earlier said, pay her a surprising visit... Take her out to a place with less activities and noise/movements...Talk sense into her... She might be thinking of you every nano second but can't call you due to her confusion but that doesn't mean she's no longer your Heartbeat!!!...



Finally, leaving her might break you both!!! And you might end up being the biggest loser, give the chance, we all deserve a second to endless chances...



She said and I quote based on your comments "Onat, you know that I can't stand you leaving me, please don't break my heart by breaking up with me!!!" She probably ended with saying "Onat, you know that I love you"...


P.$


Sorry for using Onat but that is what my girl calls me... It got a deep and confused meaning...



#LastShot...Scantee... MAKE UP WITH YOUR FINANCE!!!



Cc: Scantee[/color]