Before you have a seperate account with your spouse, think on these things?

1> The two shall become one.
2> Can two work together unless they be in unity?
3> Is there trust and sincerity in the relationsip?
4> Do you have a different financial goal from your spouse?
5> Are you discussing differences and reaching a compromise, without jeopardizing your love and trust for your partner?
6> How significant is extended family members influence in your home? and specifically on your finances??

A serious relationship, I mean beyond casual friendship goes beyond today's "my boyfriend and my girlfriend's syndrome". Male-Female relationship is serious, it is for mature and stable adults, not for teenagers or young boys still struggling to pass chemistry and maths.
Relationshps, if practised well, are meant to consummate in a life time union of both parties involved. Marriage defines this legal union between the two, which gives them a legal ground for having sex.
So, relationships are not for having sex. To have sex with someone you're not married to is both illegal in the courts of man and in the court of the almighty, and whatever is illegal carries severe consequences.

kconfused, please explain to me your definition of Love? I mean the kind of love that consummate in sustained happy union, or let me rephrase my question, what are the defining charactersitics of real LOVE?

My response to Chinat and Ruzo's comments on this topic is;

1> How long can physical attraction sustain a marriage? If this man was physically attractive, will his looks always be the same for the rest of his lives?

2> ANd to my sistas, as much as sex is an integral part of marriage, physical look does not define how sexually active or satsifying a man can be. Once the man does not have full or partial impotence, I believe he's good to go.

I believe the most important thing in any relationship is mutual respect for one another, which of course is what love is. Love is not rude, it is not physical attraction, neither is it a way of feeling, or why does the strong emotional attachment suddenly erodes after one round of sexual activity? Forget these attachment on physical looks, this guy has got everything in a man, HE RESPECTS YOU and TREATS YOU RIGHT. Take heed this time and don't go fall into another jerks' hands, you've got no time kconfused!

This topic seem to be the most intelligently tagged I've ever seen on naija.com. Most marriages break up because people think their partner is the problem. There is an adage that says "two wrongs cannot make a right". Relationships do not start at perfection, but they are purposed to make us work towards it. A man and woman in any relationsip are supposed to learn from one another, complement each other and therby improving the lives of one another and becoming better individuals for their families and the society as a whole. No man, however intelligent and well situated in life, can know his areas of weaknesses until it's pointed out to him by the woman, and the same thing applies to the woman.
If the man or the woman both make good efforts to become better, for example by openly accepting loving, fair, and well-thought out criticisms from one another, instead of wasting time looking for "Mr or Miss Right", our relationsips will be a whole lot more rewarding and happy than what it is today.

Isn't marriage a commitment? and a commitmment of a lifetime too
Do not the bride and the bridegroom both agree as they're joined as husband and wife to stay by each other through good and bad times?
Why not agree on how to work things out during storms and dificult situations, instead of agreeing on how to break off?
God help us!

Marrying for love or stability? In my candid opinion, whoever brought up this topic do not seem given us her own definition of what love is. From what she wrote she sounds to me that her understanding of love is the physical attraction, having said that , "though I enjoy time with him", but he's not physically attractive to me. This is my take on the issue:

1> Marriage is a long lasting relationship. It's supposed to be until death do us part. Therefore at a point in your marriage, the physical looks of your partner will no longer be as significant to you as it is now. Thus, why holding up a time-life relationhip because of something tempral, which is the physical look?

2> I am a man, and a straight man, and I love my "naija" sisters, I also have my own blood sisiter, who is in her early 20s and 400 level studying Microbio. I love her, and so I'll tell her the truth, the same truth I would say to my other Naija sisters. The truth is that stability is what love is. An unstable man cannot love a woman. He may say "I love you" but that kind of love cannot stand storms. True love must be proven by storms, how then can an unstable guy stand when storms come? AN unstable guy cannot be sincere too. Becuase he is unstable, he'll tell lies to cover up his instability. In addition,  a man that is not stable financially and morally cannot be a good husband. See what the Bible says, he says, "if a man cannot take care of his own household, the man is worse than an infidel", that such man has denied the faith. Thus, even in Biblical/Godly point of view, a man ought to be stable rather than just possessing physical charms.

3>I know few that have been deceived by the outward appearance of the man, married and in no time, the marriage hit the rocks. Because not all that glitter is gold.

4> I strongly advice our men to look their best. Believe me, I'm a man of a very good taste when it comes to dressing. My car, my house, my dressings and my shoes are all neat and tint. However, let no woman be fooled by the looks only. If you''ll marry "sista", make sure that man is stable morally and financially. Make sure the man has a job, or at least working towards something to make ends meet. and that he is God fearing. Stability defines a man, this is what it is to be responible, this is what differentiate boyz from men.