₦airaland Forum

[quote author=iyabde]This is a thread that struck a chord in my heart. I feel if the couple are matured enough,then they can elope.
Personally I kind of eloped,my husband's family never liked me,for reasons beyond me,so we both looked to God and he saw our hearts.
We just went to the registry and did our thing. 3 yrs on we r still together(totalling 6 yrs together).
Of course we hv our issues ,his people still won't talk to me (sad) but hey! I hv the love of my life...we are happy and going stronger in Christ.[/quote]


wow that was a bold step,albeit a worthwhile one. May God continue to bless your union, someday, i believe your husband's family will come round, at the end of the day, what matters is the couple's happiness. cheers!

the issue of eloping or not eloping is a very personal one. I have seen marriages that had blessings and approval from friends, parents and everyone go down in shambles, i have also seen people that stood their ground still happily married till today. Marriage is a very personal decision, and i personally feel that the issue of "parental blessings" are over stressed. I am not saying their blessings should be discarded or not sought out, but you should realize that at the end of the day YOU alone are in the marriage. YOU are the one living with your spouse, it doesn't get any more personal than this. Approval from people doesn't guarantee success in marriages. What matters is God and the man and woman involved.

.....pure comedy gold....

it doesnt necessarily mean she was an "ashawo" wat is the proof? there are a number of nigerian females that have legitimate jobs over there. even if she was, its a rather unfortunate scenario.

only a few? and later when these ladies have sex in relationships, people start calling them cheap or used especially if the relationship ends. I pity ladies, the double standards are absolutely ridiculous, a girl keeps her self, she is told she is "denying him sex", she doesnt keep herself, she is then ridiculed, especially on all this "virgin or no virgin" threads that is on nairaland. My advice to the ladies, set standards and dont allow outside factors affect it. If you want to wait for sex then wait, If you dont want to or u made mistakes in the past, then dont allow other peoples expectations to get to you.

doubleDx: Abstinence when you aren't a virgin aint easy my dear! Try using a chastity device

But, how many men would accept a relationship without s-ex these days? Only a few!!!

hi serubawon, i stumbled across this thread, it is incredible and very inspiring. Your journey has been an inspiration.

Divorce isnt justified except in extreme cases where life is being threated e.g domestic violence. However, i am optimistic that every other kind of issues can be worked upon. i mean EVERY. i know about 10 people that had given up on their marriages, but when they DECIDED to genuinely communicate, they were amazed at the turn around. The issue right now is not about him "rushing into marriage" or not. He is already married, and the vow says "foe better for worse", the issues he outlined above can be resolved, thats what i feel. But issues like violence should never be taken lightly. Marriage is not solely about "feelings". Love in marriage is a decision. Hence the popular phrase "love conquers all". The love here refers to agape, unrelentless love

Sagamite: So you are saying people should never divorce?

Why?

badjack: I am very sorry to say it but it is my opinion. Marriage is a thing that when you are out side of it you will be rushing to enter while most people inside want to rush out of it.
I am inside and very unhappy. Actually picked the wrong woman and now has 2 children with her. She tells me any bullshit that crosses her mind. I am very unhappy and confused. I am even thinking of picking up a second wife. I really mean it. I am tempted into cheating on her and her behaviors is encouraging it. Imagine her telling me this evening that I will go mad if I ever torch her body. We had a very little argument.
Second wife or girlfriend here I come. If you are interested to take this position, let me know.

[color=#006600][/color][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]I dont have much to say to you. All i want to say is that divorce is never the answer. No marriage is without its unique challenges. you picked her in the beginning due to the love you had for her. Please dont listen to those saying "dump her". See the movie 'fireproof". All the best.cheers