₦airaland Forum

Op, so you're on NLD? Hahahahaha, and to think that I also fell for you the first time we saw! Amazing, but why didn't you do the right thing by telling me how you felt rather than giving yourself this emotional turmoil? I even asked George if you were in a relationship, and he said yes, that pretty much was the reason I held back.
Real funny how you brought the the issue to NLD. No to worry darling, you don't need to bother urself no more. Coz am right here for you now, and am ready, to do all the things you need to make this union work.
Guess we'll be seeing later tonight after church?

It is with shock and sadness that I heard of the death of my former lecturer and ASUU president, prof. Festus Iyayi, on his way to a meeting of ASUU in Kano today. Iyayi took us on Human Resource Management ( BUS 325) in Uniben.

Has anyone succeeded in downloading it yet?

Wow, BBM now on Android? Can't download on my Android tab.

Xtopher123: Anybody wanna sell his Q10 or Z10.. Contact me 28F12DA3

I have a used BB Z10 for sale. Bought it in March this year, from MTN office, it came with a 1 year warranty. Perfectly working and still very clean.
Price is just 50k. No bargaining.

Lemme know if interested.

Do nothing...let her be, if you treated her right while you guys were dating, she will always gone back to you. Now left for you to decide if you still want her back or not.

My girlfriend of over 4 years, was crushing on Akon, and even went as far as leaving with him when he came to Lagos in 2005, i did nothing, jes let her fly away, she came back 2 years latter begging and crawling on her knees, buh, the door had been closed on her then.

Always believe, what will be, will be.

I love me some slim fingers. Slim, long fingers, not the nails, jes the fingers. What such slim fingers kin do to ma n.ippples is berra experienced than imagined.

tpacalipse: I watch ma back 24/7 and I make sure not to trust any babe.

I can appreciate that, ladies are so damned unpredictable! Reason why falling in love with them, to me, is like climbing the Eiffel Tower.
Like the mafias wud say, 'Always keep your friends close buh your enemies closer '.

mondi_cheeks: I dont really have enemies... Just people who irritate me thats all

You have to look at it holistically. To you, they aren't enemies, just people who irritate you. To them, you might be a real enemy.

Have you ever realistically asked yourself this question? If you're to take a count, how many enemies do you think you have?
Mine are just 3. Yes, 3 persons that if given the opportunity, wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger on me. And they are all ladies. Lol.

Dreal1247: Why are people troubling this man for problems that have been there b4 his arrival. The unending cueues that av disappeared from our petrol stations ar not even mentioned. Lets see the good part of this man 4 once.

@Dreal1247, how much in million of dollars have ex-militants reaped as "pipeline protection"? How many barrels do we lose daily? 400,000 barrels. And N15bn was approved to curb crude oil theft.... Ur president is DUMB And CORRUPT. And that's the crux of his problem. It seems you have forgotten, we didn't vote for GEJ to "try" we voted for him to perform. ASUU agreement of 2009, and the govt that is saying they have a "blind" VISION for 2020 didn't deem it fit to make proper plans to salvage the educational sector? Subsidy I wish I could give him a piece of my mind. I was among the few Nigerians that supported subsidy removal, when YOUR President LIED about how quickly funds saved from the subsidy removal would be used to build refineries. Since 2012, not a stone has being placed on another stone. Must the masses kill themselves before you know that we are sacrificing ourselves for this country to move forward? Oronsaye's report was jettisoned, a report that suggested merging duplicated MDA's, why do we have ICPC and EFCC and we can't seem to win d war against corruption. Mr President in a bid to gather and garner more support at the expense of the masses, swept the report under the carpet, while the poor man in Ojuelegba is dying of hunger nobody cares, what about Ribadu's report on subsidy, Mr President said "we won't act on the report" that the govt isn't bound by law to follow the report, reasons his allies that swindled Nigerians and Nigeria to the tunes of billions of dollars were indicted....Berlusconi was sentenced despite his "powers" and influence. Bo xilai, was sentenced to life imprisonment. Mr president lacks the moral authority to lead, he has abused power, stolen and his illiterate piggy of a wife is now a demi-god.....Asari is untouchable, Alams is now a czar in Aso Rock....Tompolo is now a jet owner. These are signs you see when a country wants to implode.

Correct Me If I Am Right By Rudolf Okonkwo

Dear President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, PhD, GCFR: Welcome to America, Mr. President. I’m glad you are not just in America but you are, as we say here in Brooklyn, in my neck of the woods.
I’m sorry I have not been able to come to see you. I’ve been kind of busy, you know. It may surprise you to know that in this part of the world, there is no free lunch. The best that I’ve seen is buy one and get one free. I actually wanted to pull my kids out of school to have them line up on 7th Avenue to wave the Nigerian flag as you pass. But their teachers threatened to call social services and have them taken away from me by the state for neglect.
I’m trying to eke out a living over here. I’ve tried several times to see if President Obama will give me an oil block but I’m consistently told it won’t happen. I’ve even donated $50 dollars here and there to the Democratic Party but the man just sends me thank you notes. Na thank you me and my family go chop?
Anyway, how has your visit been so far? I understand that you have been having a great time. You drive around well paved roads with closed sewage systems; you enjoy constant supply of light without the sound of generators hurting your ears; and you breathe air that is not polluted by poisonous gases coming off generators. I’m sure that the water pressure from your presidential suite’s bathroom shower is powerful. No houseboy is needed to carry a bucket of water upstairs for you.
I know that you have no need for it, but if you try the stove in your kitchen there, gas will come out. No need carrying gas cylinders around. Just so you know, these things do not happen only in expensive hotels like yours. It happens even in the poorest part of Alabama and Tennessee.
I know what you will say- Rome was not built in a day. Yes. It’s the usual excuse that I hear. Please do me a favor, when you come back from listening to the First Lady address African First Ladies, please tune to History channel on your TV. You will see that when America was 53 years old, it had structure and strategic planning and was guided by ethical people who had purpose and love for country. If age makes all the difference, how come Mexico is where it is today while America is somewhere else? How long ago did Haiti gain its independence compared to Sweden?
I had wanted to ask if you have had the chance to go into New York City’s subway, but then I remembered that you move around the city in a limo. The network was built over a century ago and continues to be expanded and upgraded. It moves 2 million New Yorkers around every day. It was not abandoned soon after the opening ceremony the way Abuja National Stadium was for which you needed to spend N300 million to renovate.
I’m sure you breezed through the Central Park. That is a modern wonder of nature reserve. It has been preserved there for over a century. No politician has sliced it up and given to his wife and business associates. In a city where land is more expensive than gold, the 1317 square miles of space, at $1000 a square foot, is worth over 39 trillion dollars. Mouthwatering, isn't it?
Anyway, I saw you on MSNBC as you rang the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange yesterday. Cool. It must have felt good. Olusegun Obasanjo, despite all his garagara, never got the chance to hold that hammer and strike. I’m happy for you. I’m happy that you have seen where Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke did her internship. Where she learned all the abracadabra she implemented at our stock exchange.
I’m really sorry I could not make it to the luncheon you had with Nigerian professionals on Sunday. Well, do you want to know why? Your ambassadors told me that the dog ate my invitation. I guess that’s diplomatic speak for “enemy of the state.” I understand that it went very well. You came, you saw, you mesmerized. A friend of mine who was there told me that you made it clear that your enemies must allow you to govern because you won the election.
I feel your pain. If I were around, I would have told you to ask President Obama how things have been for him when you met him on Monday. He, too, won- twice. Yet, some still do not believe he is a legitimate president. Some still demand that he shows his original birth certificate before he is allowed into the White House. There are people in the US Congress who have dedicated the rest of their careers to oppose anything Obama supports. They do everything to undermine laws like Obamacare. But Obama is not going about complaining that they must allow him to govern. He is governing. He understands that it comes with the territory.
You know what, try turning on that TV in your $9000 a night hotel room. Tune to Fox news. Watch it for just 30 seconds and tell me what you think? I bet you, after watching Fox news for one hour, you will never say that you’re the most criticized president in the world. Imagine Obama, acting like you by not making public his assets, he would have been ran out of town- impeached and banished to Hawaii.
I understand that you told Obama during your meeting with him that he must help fix Nigeria. Ok, Mr. President, I guess people around you did not tell you this. This is America, Jack. Here we refrain from using “must.” The use of “must” almost always illicits the response, “who the F… do you think you are?”
The world may be broken but for Obama’s people, it’s been a pretty good life. If you doubt me, just check their life expectancy and compare it to ours. He must not fix Africa for his world to keep rolling. He must not fix Nigeria for his world to keep rising. It’s you, the man “we” elected, who must fix Nigeria. That’s why we elected you. You start it, pursue it with all your might, and then, if you need help, maybe Obama can help you. You don’t say that you know corrupt people in Nigeria but won’t mention their names because they will attack you and then beg Obama to come and fix Nigeria. Common, man!
I was told that you will be speaking at the United Nations today. You will speak on behalf of the government and people of Nigeria. I hope you don’t mind if I tell you something to say since you will be speaking on my behalf, too.
Each year you join other world leaders to troop into New York City to make a speech in that US National Security Agency bugged chamber. A speech nobody in this chamber will remember even before you get back to your seat. Even though the world media is there, they will not print any word that you say there today. For them, your presence there is just for the fulfillment of all righteousness.
Your large entourage of aides and hangers-on will justify the hundreds of thousands of taxpayers’ dollars you spent to bring them here by going into meetings and bilateral talks with other nations of the world. You tell us that you are bringing investments, aids, capacity building to our people at home by striking deals with investors and governments across the globe. We have done this for over fifty years. When will you stand up and say to the world that it’s time we stopped deceiving ourselves.
You know that they expect you to restate how you plan to collaborate with the international communities to pursue peace in Africa and around the world. They expect you to talk about our fight against terrorism in Nigeria and how it fits into the global war against terror. They also expect you to say the mandatory banality about the scourge of corruption in Nigeria and what you are doing about it. And, of course, they are looking forward to hearing you talk about poverty alleviation and how to lift millions of our people out of poverty and into the middle class.
Are you not tired of playing this game of words with them? When will you get out of the business of setting goals that you know are not going to be met in millenniums yet to come? Are you not tired of delivering platitudes to a people who desire concrete results?
Sir, please, do me a favor, tell them that you’re not the brightest crayon in the box. It’s important else they brand Nigeria on the basis of your performance.
I wish you all the best. I’ll try and stop by after work. Maybe we can go to Aso Rock Restaurant in Queens, New York and eat fufu and egusi soup. Are you coming?
Yours truly,
Fellow Nigerian citizen

The Shakslayer...

baralatie: The most important tin is u.
Can u challenge urself to be proffesional,ruthles & giv her sack witout any emotional sentiments.
Can u see beyond her body.
Can u get ur head 4rm betwen her legs.
Can u put her in place

To all the above questions, my answer is affirmative. Except for the first, I don't sack, HR unit does. I may admire you as a lady, I may have s*exual urges for you so badly, buh am not the type of guy that asks a lady for s*ex. Naaaaa, that's the one thing I get offered easily by ladies without me asking for it. Mind you, my fear is not in wanting desperately to sleep with her, rather, can I hold myself if and when she does come for me. And come for me she will, now she knows I have had her retained. That much I know for sure.

kokosheen: Nice one. Your decision is the fairest and most reasonable. Good luck on your self control adventures though

If anything ever happens, you will be the first to KNOW!

Exponental: If she's good for d job, keep her. U can then work on her later. If she's not good for d job, let her go, dont risk ur job @ d expense of a girl dat can say NO to ur advances.

She is good. The rare type that combines beauty, smartness and brains. Very rare combo among Nigerian ladies.

Main reason i recommended her.

Ok guys, guess what! I have just done the inevitable.I have submitted my honest, fair and unbiased assessment of her to the Human Resource Unit.

And yes, i recommended that she be retained, not for my sake, not coz of comments from ya'all, buh coz of posterity. I have never dated a co-worker, let alone a direct subordinate.

We shall continue to work and maintain professional decorum, and if shove comes to push, i'll recommend she be transferred to our Finance unit in PH.

Not an easy decision, gonna take lotta self control, buh, u never know, self control is something i possess in large measure.

kokosheen: So recommend her.... other things shall fall into place

Guy, you really don't wish to be in my shoes, really!

She read Accounts, so she could only work in my unit (Finance). And even if she is sent to a different unit, the mere thought that she is now under someone else, is enuff to drive me madt. And i think she knows as well that she has an amazing effect on me, guess she's just waiting for me to make a move.
Now, if i do, and she snubs, that wud be bad for professional relationship, besides, i cant' even think of dating my direct subordinate! Yet, it hurts to throw her back into the market, at the same time, i won't let her be under a different manager.

kokosheen: First thing is if she would add value to your organisation. If she has shown the potential to be an asset, recommend her for a job. Don't forget to think with that brain in your head and not with the organ between your legs

Second thing, if you do recommend her, do not work with her at first!!! You can easily explain this to her and you HR that you want her to have a broader understanding of how your organisation works in other departments and do a development plan for her. This might span a year or two.

Third thing, if you get her employed in another department and still feel the "LUST", do try and make love to her and get it over with .
1. If she refuses your overtures, you don't have to work with her again at the end of her development cycle.
2. If she agrees and you get bored after a while, you don't have to work with her again at the end of her devlopment cycle
3. If she agrees and you both fall deeply in love and want to leave happily ever after, hmmm, that depends on your organisation's policy and beyond my scope (when it comes to that point, open another thread on NL ).
Any of the 3 points above should only be done on a very private level so as not to create the impression you gave her the job because you've been shagging her.

Good luck hunting

Smart response. Am seriously considering ur options. And yes, she will add value to the organisation, she is good.

Good day House!

This is an emotional dilemma am faced with in my office, i need to sort it out and time is fast running out.

I have a very beautiful corper who have been serving under me in my place of work for the past 11 months. She is very pretty and has a shape on her that can make Bashir Al-Assad give up all his chemical weapons within a twinkle of an eye.

We have been operating on a professional level ever since she joined my unit as a corper, though i fancy dating her and she knows she has an amazing effect on me, i try to keep my feelings to myself for ethical and professional reasons.

Now here's the dilemma, i understood she is passing out next month and i have been given a form to fill out for her appraisal. Her being retained in the organisation is now subject to my appraisal report. I really admire her and would love to have her around. But much as i want her around, am also smart enough to know that having her around on a long term would be detrimental to my performance at work and might even get worse cause she really is that charming.

Now i have to submit her appraisal to the Human Resource by tomorrow. Do i keep her or let her go?

*Before you ask, never mind, she isn't on NLD*

A Kenyan man wants the International Court Of Justice to overturn a ruling handed against Jesus Christ by Pontius Pilate that saw him crucified over 2,000 years ago. The Hague-based court has constituted a panel to hear the case. Dola Indidis says the Roman Ruler did not have jurisdiction to hear Jesus’ case, the trial was unfair and the punishment was excessive.


http://www.greenlight.com.ng/?p=5707&utm_content=buffer07256&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer

whirlwind7: Hmmm, would have helped my imagination if u had taken a short video of the moment. Dont know if i got a dirty mind or what, but i was half expecting you to say they actually tried to make love on the high table, before their parents stepped in and broke it up!

Nope, u ain't got a dirty mind. That was actually what happened! Surprised u got it with absolute precision.
Nonsense + s = Nonsenses
And u thought that was funny?

macklef: The lyrics of that Micheal Bolton's "Now that I've found you" is so on point, i tell you.

I can still remember
When all I had was time
A time when I had nothin'
But this empty heart of mine
When I needed inspiration
When the night was all I knew
You were the light shinin' into my life
The reason for all the love I'm feelin'

CHORUS
Now that I've found you
I don't know how I lived without you
I don't know how I survived without your love
Now that I've found you
I only know I'd be lost without you
I found the love
That I'll never find again
'Cause all I ever needed
And all I ever wanted
Has come true
I found it all now that I've found you


I could've searched forever
And never realized
The treasure of a lifetime
Was the love inside your eyes
When I reach for inspiration
In your touch, it's always there
Givin' me faith every step of the way
Givin' me all I ever needed


CHORUS


And every step of the way
Gonna dedicate my heart to you
Promise you my world forever
Pledgin' my love my whole life through

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiZd1x_ar3k

macklef: Lool.. i can relate, dis exactly how i believ a weddin shud b.. its a 1 in a life time moment for crying out loud make it so romantic n memorable dat at every aniversary u look foward to watchin d tape again n remind each oda of d love u had at 1st even wen uve gone 30yrs on d marraige.. music heals d soul dats y i love music.. music played at d most appropriate time in a weddin can dictate how d wedin will turn out.. am plannin my wedin now o, hmmm. lol. at my spare time i sit and famtasize all i wanna do on dat day.. got a list of tracks illd love to sing to my future wife but in time illd choose 1.

Yea, you'right! I think the beauty of such is when there are surprises. I so love pleasant surprises!!!!!!
I also believe there shud be a provision for couples to sing to each other during wedding reception. It's so much more fun when people get married for the right reasons, it builds the love from within and makes it last for a lifetime. The lyrics of that Micheal Bolton's "Now that I've found you" is so on point, i tell you.

I am moved to ask this question, coz of all my years of attending wedding ceremonies in Nigeria, am yet to see a wedding ceremony as romantic as the one I attended on Saturday in Lagos.

Here's an excerpt of what happened.

During the wedding reception, while guests were dancing and shaking their bodies to Kcee's "Limpopo", the bride signaled the MC, who came up to her side, she whispered something into his ears, and the MC, shocked, then asked the DJ to kill the music that the bride has something to say. Hmmmm, we were all shocked and rooted to the spot, as we didn't know what she was about to reveal, even the groom too was uneasy. The bride too the Mic, spent about 5 mins eulogizing her husband, she said all sort of sweet things I didn't believe a pretty woman could say in the open. Well, that was just the cake, the icing on that cake came when she said she is going to dedicate a song titled "Now that I've found you" by Micheal Bolton to her husband. True that, she sang those lyrics so emotionally and passionately that every couple who came in stood up, held their partner and slowly joined in the romantic mood. At the end of the rendition, she was all tears as her still-in-shock husband gently lifted her up, took her to the high table, sat her on her bride's chair, shocked us all more, as he now sang Kenny Roger's "Through the years".
Those of us who were single that day, regretted going there alone, it was the most romantic wedding ceremony ever for me.
And am seriously thinking along marriage lines now.

So guys, share your most romantic wedding ceremonies experience here.

Haven listened to arguments and counter arguments from counsel and representatives from both parties to the case on ground, I hereby give my verdict.

That #teamPEJ has not been able to convince Nigerians, both at home and in diaspora on the validity of their case.

That #teamPEJ has failed woefully in its obvious attempt to malign the person of Prof Wole Soyinka.

That the paid 40 laptops from Abuja have only succeeded in portraying the present generation of Nigerian youths as a morally pervert people whose reawakening bogus puritanism is as grotesque and as ludicrously absurd as its pretentious eremitic insensitivity.

That #teamWoleSoyinka, haven exposed the greed and ignorance that is characteristic of #teamPEJ, has not only succeeded in opening our collective eyes to the truth, but also, pointed a way out of this shambles.

I have therefore come to this conclusion. That PEJ is guilty of gross misconduct in her verbal attack on the person of Prof WS. And therefore sentenced to a 25 year intensive English language course at a reputable university abroad.

The 40 paid laptops are to have their laptops seized and Internet disconnected for 5 years, as well as tender an unreserved apology to WS on his 79th birthday.
The court shall rise!

slap1: Patience cannot even understand a stanza of Soyinka's easiest poems, yet she runs her illiterate, 'umbleralistic', sewage-pit of a mouth at him. Even in death, Stella Obasanjo is a better First Lady than that pumped-up frog called Patience.

Best post on Nairaland by miles since Seun founded this forum 8 years ago.

Slap1, u sure deserve an MFR for this award.

Smartie gurl: Oh is that it? Thanks though.....pretty? Not really, but i sure know u will love moi....

Sorry, buh u gotta be pretty. Very pretty with long, slender fingers. When ever u have the aforementioned, holla, and we can talk more.

mzbraidebraide: @op, your post is really funny......

when you are in love,you feel it....i know it may be funny but it's the fact..you can never know until you are in love....

i doubt if you love any of your female friends or admirers around you, because if you do, you'll not be asking this....

i also love your sense of sarcasm..

I don't know what it means to love them, coz I haven't felt what it means to love, I need to know when u finally say 'am in love'. And how am I sarcastic?

Smartie gurl: Holla at me!! I will sure make you fall [b]heads over hill [/b]in love with moi.....u will forget u ever asked this question. Lolzz, btw you will know when you fall in love!!

Heads over 'heels' you meant? Anywayz, if I must fall in love, u gotta do berra than that! BTW, are u very pretty, coz I roll with the pretty ones.