₦airaland Forum

Idowuogbo: When u can voluntarily throw yaself down a 7 storey building to save her life. Dats wot I call "dangerously in love".

Idowuogbo: When u can voluntarily throw yaself down a 7 storey building to save her life. Dats wot I call "dangerously in love".

I sure can do that! Buh, I need to first find out if such a lady exist. Do they still exist?

alutacontinua: ok. Think of all your available options and be sincere with yourself for once, which one of them would you take a bullet for.

Hmmmmm! Haven't thought of it along that line. Now, that is tough.

alutacontinua: ok...lemme bring it a lil lower for you.
Would you take a bullet for your girlfriend?
Or on a lighter note, would you donate your kidney to her?

That's the problem! U see, I don't have a 'girlfriend' YET. Have so many female admirers and close female friends, buh, don't have one 'special' one I can call my girlfriend, YET. If and when I do, why not! I'll go thru fire for her. That's the essence of this thread, how to know when I can tell I have a girlfriend!

alutacontinua: sacrifice ANYTHING! as in anything whatsoever!
like say your kidney or even your life. GERRIT

Still trying desperately to GERRIT! Am sure if I can succeed in getting my brain to align with my mind, I wud have succeeded in GERRINIT!

alutacontinua: What exactly are you driving at There's nothing like romantic love, is that what you want to hear

Love is love...when you would sacrifice anything for somebody without any conditions attached, the kind of love mothers have for their children (under normal circumstance), that is LOVE. Anything outside that is just tryna feel cool with one's self.

Me thinks one can actually sacrifice something for someone without any attached conditions, purely out of pity or sympathy, without necessarily loving that person. Happened to me a couple of times before.

alutacontinua: Which one come be romantic kain of love again

Ok...when your heart is beating faster and slower at the same time. Is that what you wanna hear?

For the bolded, I think that's a medical problem. The guy shud see a cardiologist, that ain't love!

sexymoma: When you are using your MTN line to call his Glo line and talked for like 20mins, That when you should believe you've finally fallen in love

Don't believe you, I've spent almost an hour on phone with a lady before, I only admire her, or let's say, I merely have strong feelings for her, i don't reckon am in love with her.

alutacontinua: When you can gladly take a bullet for them. You know the kind of John 3:16 love. Yes, that is LOVE!

That's AGAPE love, I presume! Am talking about a romantic kind of love. Is there a kind of mercury barometer sort of, for measuring how your feelings shud be, before you say, Voila! Am in love?

I have had several feelings of strong emotions with very pretty ladies, most times, they want me to openly express my feelings for them, by saying those 3 words, I LOVE YOU. Buh, I can't tell if what I feel for them is love or mere admiration or even infatuation. For that reason, I hardly say those words, for fear I may end up hurting them, if and when I do discover it ain't love in the first place that I felt for them.

So how do you know or rather, how can you tell when you have finally fallen in love? Is it when you think of them so often? Is it when nothing else matters except them? Or is it when you are always happy whenever you are around them? I need to know!

tpia@:
op are you a rookie journalist, trainee reporter or something?

you seem to spend a lot of time spying on what married men and their wives are or arent doing.


you're being paid open these threads perhaps?

U are absolutely spot on. Am both a rookie journalist as well as a trainee reporter, and one more thing, yes, am being paid to open these threads. And guess who's paying me? Ur father in the village.

modele2: @poster so madam should dress it abi....i hope you would assist her some times..always looking for more work for the woman as if what they have on their plate is not enough.

As some people have cited. to each its own, everyones orientation and marriage blueprint is different. Besides it also depends on your living quaters e.g room and parlour e.t.c:DAnd i am most certain that unless through diabolic means that someone cleans your room dosent make the person a husband snatcher candidate

That said..I personally dont allow ANYONE into my bedroom. I clean, make bed and even do the bathroom my self, simply because i feel it is an invasion of my sanctuary, its a form of exercise and i dont think anyone can do it as well as i would. thats all.

You sound very confused. Am sorry to say!

Smartie gurl: To me, is quite wrong for a woman to allow that in her house ......but in some cases where the woman is always busy with work and stuffs like that, permit me to say that it is a little bit understandable.

My sentiments exactly! I asked him if the maid cooks for them too, he said hell NO! So if u won't allow her cook, why let her into ur private room?

As a young man who is trying to learn the basics and nitty-gritty of marriage before I jump into that ship, I have found this forum to be immensely helpful in this regard.

As part of my vacation traveling, I went visiting my big uncle and his wife who live in Calabar, last week. While we (my uncle, his wife and kids), were in the living room watching a tv program, the housemaid was in their bedroom, cleaning and dressing the bed. I asked my uncle why is that, and he replied that there's really nothing to it.

But am not comfy with that, so am asking, should a housemaid clean the couple's bedroom and dress the bed in their absence?

Princessmel: Awww this is so sweet, hope she saw/sees it
If only my male friends were like this and not have other agendas

Many thanks! Glad you appreciated it. Yea, she saw/read it and she was touched.
Some friends are simply UNFORGETTABLE!

It's a tricky and very dicey situation that require sound yet unbiased assessment, inorder to make an informed decision.

And i must say, its also a function of how much commitment and love that had gone into the relationship,(pre-marital) i mean.

I use myself as a case-study.

In 2005, when Akon was the in-thing with his hit Album "Trouble", that contained his best single hit "Lonely", my girlfriend of over 4 years dating back to our Year 1 days in the University, fell madly in love with that song 'Lonely', her love for the song didn't end there, when Akon came to Lagos that year (2005), she begged that we should go see him perform live at Oceanview, sure, i obliged.

To cut a very long story short, she ended up leaving with Akon back to Los Angeles. Well, after realizing that the grass is never always greener on the other side, she came back in 2007 begging and pleading for her relationship, but i just can't find a place to forgive her anymore. If she can do it once, she can do it again.

After marriage, well dunno about that yet!

Still dont understand why this thread was initially banned. Moderators, is it now an offense to dedicate a thread to someone on NLD?

Many thanks for ur speedy response. Much appreciated. But still, why was I banned for 24 hours? No foul language, no violation of the laws in any form.

Hello Mods, I posted a thread yesterday titled 'When friends have to say goodbye'. I got an antibot spam ban for 24 hours. Why was this? Again, now my ban has expired, what happened to my thread? I need answers please. Many thanks in advance.

benedicta0: There is nothing wrong in that is just that both the husband and wife are lacking manners how can you just pounce on the pot and you can see she is trying to serve you the food.Beside it is not a big deal for the wife to disrespect her husband

That was a mistake, init? I believe you didn't mean that, did you? U go be person wife one day too, abi?

This is for a close friend, you know yourself and i know you will be reading this, coz you were always frequent in this section when you were in Nigeria. It's dedicated to YOU and YOU ALONE.


You were always there, sharing my pains and my joys. My failings and my triumphs. My lows and my highs. My sad moments as well as the happy ones.

You were like that. I write this to let you know you've always been like that. I write this, not because am missing you, no, i feel your presence too much to miss you. Your smiles, your laughter, your gentle ways, the way you'd sit and speak and soothe away even the craziest situations.

You were like a sister, you know, the one i never had. You treated me like your brother, now encouraging, often admonishing, always supportive.

You made me feel always taller than i really am. You made me see there is no mountain so high i couldn't climb it. You made me believe so very much in myself.

Somehow, i'd forgotten how to laugh, but you changed all that. You made me look forward to every new day. You made me realize that the sun still kissed every new day with lips bright with happiness. You made me realize that the cloud, no matter how dark, always passes way to reveal the sun.

I think back to the talks we had, the things you said flashed through my mind, dredging up memories, names, peoples from the depth of memory and stocking away the glowing embers of nolstagia into pain.

I remember you now, i remember you, and i hope you are happy wherever you are, as i pray that good will always meet you wherever you go.

The pain of separation remains, but am smart enough to realize that the day comes when friends have to say 'goodbye'. When they must chase new dreams, divine new visitas and beat virgin paths to new climes.

So i wish you goodluck and hope you keep believing that things can only get better.

bukatyne: see kwestion o!

I am unmarried o!

Same as i! Hence i need to know so when i get married, i won't be found wanting 'abunnawise'.

bukatyne: I guess because the wife only feels in charge in her kitchen. This talk of wife owning the kitchen is nonsense. Who owns the sitting room, the room or the bathroom?

She should have waited until they are alone b/4 displaying this crazy attitude. She's not happy she has a man who is sensitive enough to even dish his soup sef. What if it was the type that would cross leg and be barking 'Iya B, where is the soup eh? Why are you so slow ke! Do you want me to die before my time ni?'

She should better apologize to him wella and crown it up with abunna!

Please, what is 'Abunna'? Is it a kind of soup too?

seun0622: I m sure there s more to the story than you are telling us.

Oga, since you were there that evening, why not tell us the 'remaining' part of the story?

jidegirl12: What's the big deal? na wa oh people are just touchy touchy these days. what if you OP dish yourself , she for land a hot slap on your cheek pot of soup?

Lol, in her words, she said 'it showed lack of regards for her position as a wife'. Whatever that means, i dunno.

Recently, i travelled to the East to visit an old course mate of mine from the University. He just got married and i decided to felicitate with him.

Sadly, what was meant to be a happy reunion for us guys, turned to be a dispute resolution for me.

My friend and i just came back from a long outing, tired and very hungry. As we entered the house, his lovely wife was in the kitchen preparing fufu, she has made the fufu, set it on a plate and was about getting the liquid hand-wash (morning fresh), my friend who couldn't wait any longer, decided to get the soup himself. He grabbed a bowl, went straight to the pot, opened it and was about dishing his soup, when his wife, in 2 giant but quick strides,backed up by a loud and long hiss, grabbed the spoon from him and made to dish the soup.

My friend was so shocked and embarrassed that he quietly walked off the kitchen, into his car and drove off without a word. I spent the best part of the night trying to resolve the dispute that ensued. And what a dispute it was!

So, i ask, what is wrong in a married man dishing his soup in the presence of his wife? For me, i see nothing wrong here.

The floor is open.

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort not to do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.



Ask about “that thing”

If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life.

Clarify missed calls

Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset us).

Offer to help

When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.

Plan ahead

If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time.

Care about your career

If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy.

Brags about you

If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.

Just wants to cuddle

No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you.

Fingers!

Long, slim, adorable fingers. And nothing like a well manicured nails on some long, slim fingers.

Touch me with such fingers, and i'll melt just like vanilla icecream.

Guys, sincerely when i was told by my colleague to drop my story on here, i didnt for once imagine it'd generate this much traffic/response. It's been awesome reading ALL your comments (sarcastic & meaningful),and am just gonna make this one post and then call it a day. This is so you dont form the wrong idea(s) about my person, as some have started forming.

I didn't regret and never will regret what i did last Friday. I can never have s*ex with a lady i just met for the first time, no matter how much affection we have or have had over time for each other. it's just not in me to do that. And from our earlier chats and phone convos, she told me it isn't right but guys generally still do it.

Lastly, yes, am a man, a real man at that, and when it comes to s*ex, and everyother ceremonies surrounding it, when i start, i dont stop till you've got enuff. I pride myself on giving the best head any woman can ever ask for and get. Yes, but that doesnt change my principle.

Thanks y'all for your warm contributions.

Hello Nairalanders, what am about to relate here just happened over the weekend and it got me so confused, i told a friend of mine, who then asked me to join this forum and narrate my ordeal, i might get useful answers. So here i go.

A few months back, i met a lady on a social networking site, she is a Pharmaceutical student in one of the Universities in the South-South. We got talking, trying to psych up each other's intellectual prowess. i discovered she is a very good communicator, well read and highly versatile in almost every topic (politics, sports, social events, religion etc). She knew a bit about almost everything, and i too, am also an all rounder. So we took a liking to each other.

With each passing day, as expected, the issue of s*ex came up, i told her that i can never put pressure on a woman for s*ex on a first date, no matter how much pressed i am. I'd rather suffer in silence than do that. She said it's a lie, all men are the same, they appear nice and cute on the outside, but the moment a woman come into their life, the demon in them come out. I told her, am different, that the moment am focused on something, am focused, and unless the lady makes me believe she wants s*ex, i'll never ask her for it (on a first date). We both laughed and forgot the issue.

Just last week, i was sent on a strategic training session in her State, and i called her on Friday evening, after classes. She came to my hotel, we hugged, laughed, and said all sorts of nice things to each other (being the first time we're meeting), and we decided to spend the cool evening in a romantic resort. At about 8pm, when it was time to go, i called a cab to take her to her hostel and then take me back to my hotel. She told the cab driver to take us to my hotel first, that she'll pick a cab from there back to her hostel. I agreed. We got to the hotel and she changed her mind, said she would spend the night and go back early Saturday. I was curious, but didnt argue, we both watched SkyNews till about 10pm and decided it was time to sleep, she went to take her bath while i went downstairs to get a recharge card. When i came back, i saw her wearing one of the sexiest, silky pacific-blue lingerie, she was arranging her hair in the bed mirror, immediately, i knew i was in for a huge test, so i complimented her outfit, got my blanket out and made to sleep on the couch. She looked at me with the side of her eyes, mumbled some incoherent words and got into the bed. My mind was heavy and i couldn't sleep. After a while, i heard her faint snoring and immediately knew she has slept, so i forced myself to sleep too.

Early the next morning, she woke up with a chip on her shoulders, i greeted her, she brushed it aside, she made to the bathroom, brushed, took her bath, and in less than 15mins, she was on the elevator going back to her hostel. I was shocked, dumbfounded and too scared to even follow her, i tried to BB her, she has deleted me, i called, she wouldnt take my calls. I came back to Lagos yesterday, still tried calling with the office line, as soon as she hears my voice, she'll drop the call.

So guys, thats my story. Where did i go wrong? I think am attracted to her as much as she is to me. Matured responses would be highly appreciated.

Many thanks