₦airaland Forum

ThisTrend:
https://alexis.lindaikejisblog.com/photos/shares/59c4a537007c1.jpg
Olawunmi Otedola is the eldest daughter of billionaire oil mogul Femi Otedola. The UK-based singer posted this lovely photo on her Instagram.

SOURCE: http://www.wobegist.com/2017/09/the-eldest-billionaire-daughter.html?m=1

So it looks like na only daughters Ote$ get, e no get son? Shey he got adopt me ni, so that his manhood can live on after he joins his ancestors.

Jesusloveyou:
and who take you serious?

It's 'who takes you serious', not 'who take you serious'.

solid3:
Reasons Why Efe May Not Win BBNaija 2017 Edition

1. BBNaija is a brand & needs a marketable ambassador who can also be the face of the brand. Tboss has that kinda personality.

2. EFe is going to follow his music career and may not have the carriage BBnaija will need for the best in years to come.

3. Efe has put the money thing too much before him & has even already concluded he is the winner. This was made obvious when he said the first thing he will do once out is to do a media tour to thank people who made him win.

4. In trying hard to be Mr. Real, he got drunk on free alcohol and forgot his “realness” as he embarrassingly entertains his fans, this isn’t who BBNaija needs as a winner.

5. Free Alcohol is undoing as it was quite obvious when last night he was kinda sober, visiting the toilet too frequently and seating instead of dancing the he is known for.

6. Free alcohol is the only thing that can easily bring him to tears.

7. The best personality to win the BBNaija 2017 Edition is no other than Tboss.

8. If you were to choose a face for your brand between “I Go Die” & “Genevive” who will you chose?


9. Personality speaks volume. Money can’t not buy class.




https://twitter.com/tboss_guy/status/851073057561169921

Rantings of a disease infected baboon. Your vet doctor is on his way.

Rozaystunna:
Oga look it up and stop being stupid

You must be a kleptic mor.on. No need to look it up, I own one and it wasn't anywhere close to 500k. The one that goes for that amount is the 128G and perhaps 256G. 32G iPhone 7 costs nothing close to 500k, you generational !mbecile.

If you can't own one, check out the price on Jumia or Konga.

Toluwani113:
* U can email ur ancestors, ping ur village deity
* If u hold am, U no go ever hungry again.
* If u misplaced it in a cab, it will automatically
find its way back into ur pocket.
* If ugly person send U request, e no go enter.
* It can tell U which member of your family dey
disturb you.
* U can connect d bluetooth to transformer to get light.
* It can be used as bomb detectors.
* It can be used as mosquito (insect) repellant.
* It makes everyone look at you as rich boy or girl even when you are trekking.
* It vibrates if someone is lying, 4real!
* It can tell d real father of a child.
* It can detect if Ur boyfriend/ girlfriend is
cheating.
* It prevents unwanted pregnancy, just put it in
"protection" mode.
* You can use it as AC
* You can use it as a weapon if you are attacked
by armed robbers
* It can show you the way to paradise with the
advanced GPS
*It can be used as an ATM
*it can be use to locate the garden of Eden.
*it can be used to download food, car ND a house
*it can be used to cast out demons

Have you bought it or priced it in Nigeria? How did you know it costs about 500k?

Stop advertising your ignorance on a public forum.

Get married also...stop having boyfriends/girlfriends upandan.

...

...

...

...

...

...

Jadekitana:
Can you imagine? Every disappointment is indeed a blessing. While I was seriously sad about my Boss sending me on a yeye official errand I never knew I was gonna meet a very intelligent nairalander

I got to the firm and was told to wait at the reception that their Almighty boss was in a meeting with someone. I was there for over an hour and was getting really impatient when this tall handsome guy walked in. Think he came to Audit the firm cos the receptionist called him Auditor. He went to drop his bag and came back to gist with the ladies,he was very jovial.

After sometime he turned to my direction and was like "that frown isn't good at all" put a smile on your face,its too early in the day to be frowning like that. I didn't know when I shouted i'v been waiting here,i'm tired already. The next thing I heard was "Endtime tiredness" I was trying to recollect were I'v read that phrase then I remembered twas Nairaland. I became interested in the fellow instantly! No need beating around,i asked if he was a nairaland member,he said he's a guest but I didn't believe him. I suspect he's Thesonofmark though he had beards, full beards.

We gisted about the forum,romanceland especially! He said he doesn't visit romanceland, he only checks career,autos,celebrity and pet because of his dogs. The guy was neat,cute,jovial very very intelligent as we talked about auditing which I plan on getting a professional qualification in. I didn't release my contact because I suspect he's a popular guy here but doesn't wanna disclose that.

If you know you the Auditor I met this morning @ prince Amadi's firm in Oniru, I know you would see this either as a guest or member I don't care, you better be sincere so we can be friends. I still need to learn a lot about auditing from you and a lot of other things pm me! We can still meet at BLD on admiralty way, lunch is on me!

Behold, I have come, that ye might have life and have it more abundantly...

CYDM, Cheers!

Lilyomi:
Galaxy s6 but my money is not enough Onemansquad do u mind buying one for me? Seriously blackberry is a no for me. Dnt knw why. I like the rest. . My arms are open for any of them as gifts o. .

Send me a DM

U never know...

talentarena:
Yemi Blaq Signs A 40 Million Naira Endorsement Deal With Gulder



Absolutely scandal free star actor Yemi Blaq has just inked an amazing 40 million naira endorsement deal with Gulder- the eloquent speaking actor whom most single ladies obviously have got so much crush on is indeed smiling to the bank as we speak- CMB exclusively obtained the unvailling photo from the star actor him self- Yemi Blaq is one of the a list actors in nollywood who has never have a share of scandal; in a recent interview he revealed that a lady ones walked to his door stalk naked in an hotel room- heheheh according to my guy him nor touch oh- lols. Anyways big congrat bro-

http://talentarenaafrica.com/photo-yemi-blaq-signs-a-40-million-naira-endorsement-deal-with-gulder/

He isn't the only one, two ladies once walked into my office stark naked and I no touch I no do. Kini big deal?

jlinkd78:
'owe' I know but this ur 'whole' I fear

Learn to use punctuation marks...they're free!

Harwehroh1:
lips sealed.... U might b right though

Why are ur lips sealed? Are u a nurse? Speak now or forever hold ur peace.

Harwehroh1:
Lyk seriously?

Yes darling...

Nurses give the best of KY Gel handjobs ever, especially when they put on that silky surgical gloves of theirs.

The feeling is heavenly.

I need to be proved wrong tho

Why would you omit the most important reason to marry a nurse?

Nurses give the best of sloppy handjob.

EOD.

nairalandist:
I don't believe it. Why is it that only peni.ses get stolen, why can't people's heads be taken away?
It's probably a setup. Perhaps someone he offended and settled with in the past took the fool to a fake herbalist convincing him to do money rituals. He had it all setup, the victim and the beat up. . . Just my 2 cents in this stuff.

Nobody can steal anybody's organ alive, nobody. . . Even ritualists have to KILL their victims before removing the parts. The devil gives them bigger risks to bear.

Dude, don't be so damned positive.
I witnessed something similar way back in my year one in 1999.
Crowd were gathered at the admission office trying to sort out one thing or the other, people were shoving and stuffs.
Suddenly dude felt a hand shove him from behind and immediately felt weak under, touched the spot and felt something like a thumb only. He turned around to quickly sight the guy struggling to exit the crowd.
He shouted for people to stop the guy and when they dragged him back, the victim pulled his boxers out to reveal what looked like a 4 yr old's d.ick.
Immediately, guys started pouncing on the dude, beat the hell outta him, dragged him to the security post at the main gate, where he confessed to the crime, he promised to return it.

After like 5 mins, he said its back, victim checked his boxers only to find a d.ick fit for a light complexioned person and he was very dark.

Another round of beating by security officers and dude said he's restored the main one. Victim checked again and saw a dark d.ick, his size also, but he said he isn't convinced that the guy should bring his sister or girlfriend for him to try it on.

They later moved them to the police station in BDPA. I saw all of these with my 2 Jambite eyes that day.

Hidentity:
There is something about actions, they can be chosen. There is something about actions taken, they birth reaction(s). There is something about reactions, they can't be chosen. In a simple language, why we can choose our action, we cannot choose the reaction.

In the history of Nigeria, it is certain that the 2015 General election would not be forgotten in a moment. While this assertion may be bought by every Nigerian, the reason may differ in the opinion of individuals. For the purpose of simplifying this analysis, individuals with a dogged determination to achieve their goals may see it as a year that unrelenting determination paid off for the retired General. For some, it was a year that paved way for the populace to speak through the ballot. In some quarters, it is the year of the emergence of their democratic hero- President Jonathan. For the last, reservations abound. I object to an attempt at making Jonathan a hero for the purpose of a soft landing. I don't know about America, but in Nigeria, no tenant becomes a hero by vacating the apartment at the expiration of his rent. However, it is a sheer waste of emotion to observe a minute of silence for a deceased whose penchant for noise while alive is insatiable.

Personally, I do not have anything against the person of President Jonathan. In fact, I like to see sons and daughters of fishermen, taxi drivers, petty traders and others on that divide of the struggle attaining the incredible heights. Nevertheless, I take offence when attaining that height drives them stupour. I also do not have anything for General Buhari, I only shared the sentiment that things must not continue in the Jonathan's way. I waited for a public event that would demand that I talk about the President of Nigeria for the whole of 2014, but I could not attend any that I was invited for. I was waiting to embarrass President Jonathan because he has embarrassed long-suffering Nigerians and Nigeria. I was waiting to be asked questions like 'who is the President of Nigeria?' or maybe to make a remark about the President of Nigeria. In my crazy moment, I would have replied that Nigeria do not have a President. To be diplomatic, but to the consternation of many, I would have replied that I do not know the President of Nigeria. I could say that anywhere, even on a quiz floor. I know nations with leaders and none is governed like ours. I do not know shadow leaders, I know leaders who are strong-willed to act irrespective of whose ox will be gored.

Like you, a couple of events that made the moment have been archived in a bid to take a hint from life. Beyond the happiness for Jonathan's loss and the fear of Buhari's possible 'tsunamic' approach to corruption, I have picked an event in the whole politicking drama- The Orubebe Saga. It does deserve a second examination after the whole dust has gone down.

Lately, I stopped concerning myself with what people do. I try to understand their reason(s) and purpose(s). In the beauty of the time-honoured aphorism in Yoruba, the myth of the dragonfly dancing on the water surface comes to mind. For the purpose of this forensic work, elder Orubebe is the dragonfly here. It is believed that attempts to allay the fear of stream goers by making the dragonfly vacate was futile. Then, after consulting the oracle, it dawned on the villagers that the dragonfly's dance of humour was not without the motivation of an unrelenting drummer deep down in the stream. In short, elder Orubebe's public display had the blessing of one or two political drummers. The question here- did elder Orubebe pause to consider his status before doing such a dirty act without gloves? I mean this is someone's father. He is someone's husband. He is an elder in a community, this is the 21st century, and we have the media everywhere!

In the execution of his assignment, elder Orubebe made a lot of inflammatory statements. To elder Orubebe, Jega was compromised, he was partial, he was used. All those did not really matter, especially when you are used to the types of statements made by Lagos bus conductors. The most sensitive statement and most crucial moment was when elder Orubebe requested Jega to 'go and reply him (Orubebe) from his office.' Jega could reply Orubebe, but it must not be from his office. Replying from his office would have been the electoral error of the millennium. Here is the reason, there is a possibility that if Jega had left the ICC for his office, the election would have been rendered inconclusive by machineries 'possibly' put in place. By then, Jega would be away from our curious glares. For 'security' purpose, he could have been prevented from continuing the process. In fact, it might take him till today to reply people like elder Orubebe because it is easy to wake a sleeping person but not a person feigning sleep.

Few days later, elder Orubebe discovered the damage his public conduct did to the Orubebe's family. He saw himself being celebrated as the celebrity of official irresponsibility. Then, he issued a statement that could best be described as a campaign after an election. In the statement, elder Orubebe massaged his own tiny ego. He reminded us of his role in the Niger-Delta peace discourse. He told those of us that are not aware, that he is an elder in his church. Then, someone beside me asked 'what more could rebrand elder Orubebe if he could forget his political status and religious one to disrupt a legal process?' For this phase, no matter what the revered elder did, the election saga would always come to mind when the name Orubebe is mentioned. Not many was there when he went to the creek, not many knew him as a minister, not many knew him as an elder in the church, but everybody is aware that he is deft at disrupting due processes and sitting on the floor.

Through Jega, the world has learnt that proper management of people won't always make an angry action trigger an outrageous reaction. For Jega, elder Orubebe's display was an avenue for him to exhibit his classy professorial and professional ethics. Indeed, Jega is an impressive revelation of the 21st century! Jega's composure was epic, it should be made a compulsory course in our educational institution. It made the voice of the town crier merely tangential to the process at hand.

His response was legendary and accurate. I cannot but admit that he is a different breed of Nigerian, far distinct from an ordinary one time-minister struggling for a summary show in the arena of relevance. The name Jega should become a word in every language which could be used to describe an exceptional display of intelligence and composure in the midst of troubles sponsored by the power that be.

The highlighted is epic!

Learnt something new today.

@ OP, may the gods of our ancestors multiply the seeds you sow and the harvest you reap, for such incisive write-up.

OLADD:
[color=#006600][/color]

Born-fool. You could do better by publishing a compendium on the uncountable diatribes and tirades lunched against the person of the president and PDP by Lair Mohammed and his derailing APC. By that, Nigerians would be able to draw their conclusions. APC and Buhari are dangerous for Nigeria.

May the gods of our ancestors SEAL your mouth ...may they invoke the spirit of Amadioha on you.

PassingShot:
They keep insulting Buhari but he keeps highlighting their incompetence with facts.

If Buhari is an old plane whose functionality cannot be guaranteed, Jonathan must be a grounded keke whose non-functionality has been confirmed. So Nigeria and Nigerians are better off to try a plane which will still perform than stick with a keke we are sure cannot perform.

Bunch of buffoons!


*Modified.

Let's take a look at the stewpid issues that have emanated from the accursed party PDP since Buhari emerged and after they officially welcomed him to the race where they advised him to run an issues-based campaign:

1. Buhari/Amaechi Na Fatal Error - Is this an issue-based campaign? No

2. A vote for Buhari is a vote for Tinubu - Is this an issue-based campaign? No

3. Jonathan is Like Jesus Christ interview where Buhari was called many disrespectful names by Bastard Okupe.- Is this an issue-based campaign? No.

And now

4. Buhari - An Old Plane Parked for too long - Is this an issue-based campaign? No

The moment you think that PDP/GEJ have sunken to their lowest, the next moment they prove that they can sink even deeper.

We know they are on the panic mode button since emergence of Buhari and they can see the handwriting on the wall hence the name-calling and mudslinging.

Bunch of hypocrites!

May the gods of our ancestors bless the womb that carried you for 9months, the b.reasts that you sucked for 6months, the cow & gates that you drank for 2 yrs, the primary school you attended for 6yrs, the secondary school you attended for 6 yrs, the university you attended for 5yrs, the office you've been working for 10 yrs, the wife you've married for 4yrs, the bed you've been sleeping with her for 4yrs, the kids you have for 3yrs now and finally, may the gods of our ancestors also bless the hands you used in typing this message.

Ladies, on a scale of 1 to10, if you're 8 at French kissing, send me a PM.

I may not be a s.ex freak buh i attach lots of importance to pre-intimacy and kisses are the surest way to unlock the pin codes to my wallet.

Utchgirl: @ op, u forget to include d names of those dt made d quotes. Writing d quotes without d names of people dt made d quote make it incomplete

Very well then, lemme see if I can update that.

As the the year gradually winds to an end, I found it it worthy to present the #TopQuotes from eminent Nigerians for the outgoing year.

The below made my list, feel free to add yours.

* "Go and Die"~Gov. Adams Oshiomhole
* "Come sit on my laps and I will show you a level of grace that you don't understand".~Pastor Biodun (COZA)

* "Terrorism is everywhere, get used to it".~PGEJ

* "I was not a tribalist when I had long-standing intimate relationship with Ms Bianca Onoh, an Igbo lady".~Femi Fani-Kayode

* "Do the needful".~Princess Stella Oduah
* "I cannot categorically tell you one now and then my Oga at the top will say it's another one".~Comrade Obafaiye Shem.

* "We are preparing a robust response".~Pastor Biodun (COZA)
* "Patience Jonathan, my Jesus on earth".~Hon (?) Evans Bipi

Did I miss anything? I 'll surely update if I did.

Ok

Ok

Mina98: *** coughing *** do you even know the OP?

Hey, u don't have to pretend now that you got things working perfectly for u. U and I know you are the lady in question. That we agreed in church on Sunday to keep the relationship out of the open for now doesn't mean you have to be y this pretentious!