₦airaland Forum

Jessidaisy4:
Old cargoes!

U'll get dere someday u know!

kestolove95:
Dia own na play...wia t.boss dey? Cum see ur team mate

U're looking 4serious trouble?

Stegomiah:
It is allowed
The man is rich
And the woman is hawt
How does she manage to look like that after 10 children and still counting beats me

Good work out regime coupled with eating wisely 'll get u dat.Something most of u naija babes can't do.

Anitateddy:
Seem your gf breast releases milk

hello Anita

Benita27:
You wash your skin, use "roll on" on your armpit, cologne on your clothes, then I wonder why anyone should smell that much?. Naturally, girls have more pants than bra because the body parts are different.

I can go on my bra for a week and not smell.

letz be the judge of dat.

Benita27:
So you wash your bra after your second outing?. I wear bra more than twice and it doesn't smell as you're putting it.

U probably not very active in life.

megareal:
It's a lie. Bras give off an offensive smell if you wear them more than twice. I can easily perceive a dirty bra from miles away.

Ladies as a general rule are mainly neat when it comes to their undies.

Modified *

It's amazing how many ladies and guys down this thread be claiming I'm lying. I just discovered from this thread that lots of ladies here think there is nothing wrong with wearing a bra beyond two days in a row. It's amazing how dumb they sound trying to insult me while displaying an apparent lack of basic sanitary knowledge.

All the ladies around me operate same way I operate. If I go to the gym, market, do intensive hse chores, that bra is over for me that day cos of sweat.

I clap for those who can do all the above, and still keep using the bra after days on end. As a rule of thumb, bras aren't supposed to be used daily so as to preserve its elasticity. You're even killing the bra by overstretching it through continous usage.

Ya'll be abusing me anywhere you like. It isn't my fault that I'm a neatness freak. So do your dirt, let me do mine. It's worked so far for me.

I really now see why some ladies bras stink when you stand around them.

Nicely said,why haven't I met u.

Lilyqueeny:
serves him right

Babe don't u've any sympathy, someone just lost his life & dis is all u can say.

shacxy:
Na real wa for this man. RIP to the dead and quick recovery to the hospitalized

Hello shacxy

sweerychick:
Repulsive,

Eventually, u might ’ve 2 do it though!

refiner:
Virgin or no virgin....what matters in a marriage is character and understanding of both couple..

I goes your virginity is long gone!

Mikylopez:
dz girl again! attention seeker

hello miky

Mikylopez:
my sister in-law also aborted her baby so her wedding gown would fit perfectly some ladies are evil

Seriously?

Mikylopez:
my sister in-law also aborted her baby so her wedding gown would fit perfectly some ladies are evil

Seriously?

HateU2:
Now I can see the reason she left you and aborted the baby, you are not mature dude. Not even close to be one.

You even uploaded her pix? Chai!
She cant deal with your immaturity and bring a child to this world to blame her for giving him/her a father like you.


Dont quote me

Sorry I've 2 quote u,but u really wrong here,dis guy is obviously pained & dis is how he choose 2 vent seems he can't reach her & an abortion is a just a wicked & selfish way out!

subtlemee:
Commentless

hello subtle!

Wiseandtrue:
Make I talk the one wey conzine me for falz voice :
Before I subscribe big brother abi na big uncle was showing on GOTV channel 29 then after subscription it was not showing again.
Its saying E something something. Press HELP. Upon say na GOTV PLUS I dey oooo. And na only that 29 dey show that thing.

Just check 'ur subscription with Gotv,u might 've been denied access to dat channel on GOTV plus.U might need to upgrade 'ur sub.

dollyjoy:
Just waiting to see my favorite scene. I know a lot of people are waiting for that kinda scene too.

what scene exactly are you talking about?

dollyjoy:
Just waiting to see my favorite scene. I know a lot of people are waiting for that kinda scene too.

what exactly are you talking about?

Jodha:
I don't see how this changes anything, y is she complaining if she didn't slapped him or something, if I were in her shoes, aww totally slapped the konji awtta that dog, since she did nothing to him she shouldn't complain


Is she expecting her Twitter fans to goan arrest the man #smh

Take it easy o, reason carefully before you react Derez no way his penis 'ld 've been touching her in they were on different seats.
but you not looking bad sha!

queencalipso:
Wey the pics na

So u 2 want to nude pics,what is actually dere dat u don't have?

queencalipso:
Wey the pics na

So u 2 want to nude pics,what is actually dere dat u don't have?

Justnora:
Just 2years? We were never marry see as e dey hungry us. Celebrity marriages if it reaches 5years na God

what 're you waiting for,put up 'ur pics maybe I make you a fulfilled lady!

Jehovah see the amount of people viewing MMM topic,WOW!so many depending on this scheme yet all the cynics & bad-belle people 're seeing doom! Jehovah see the amount of people viewing MMM topic,WOW!so many depending on this scheme yet all the cynics & bad-belle people 're seeing doom!

Catalin:
Money can't buy genuine love I tell you but it can buy pretentious love.

Babe wrong grammar,derez nothing like Pretentious love!

Ginaz:
But it doesn't matter na, everybody with his own destiny. They weren't met to be, and by the way, what has the guy achieved all these years?

"What has the guy achieved all dis years" is that really important? someone is relating a heartbreak story & u asking an unrelated question!

Ginaz:
But it doesn't matter na, everybody with his own destiny. They weren't met to be, and by the way, what has the guy achieved all these years?

"What has the guy achieved all dis years" is that really important? someone is relating a heartbreak story & u asking an unrelated question!

Janetessy:

Hello Jane

ConcNiggress56:
The drunk policeman is from uyo. Now this one is from calabar..


Uyo, calabar and bad news in 2017 are like

hello niggress!

curvyibogirl:
I've always been active on nairaland as a ghost but before the wake of the new year, i have decided as part of my new year resolution to "de-ghost" myself and become an active member hence, my registration last week. One of the reasons i made this decision was because i have learned and gained so much from this platform, and so it is expected to also give back to the community that has had an impact in my life, for who much is given, much more is expected. A lot of nairaland monickers which i will name someday have been a real source of inspiration and i always look forward to their posts. Without further Ado and in order not to digress from the topic, let me begin my story......

My first love was my mother and my second love was my smart phone. Mum bought me my mobile phone (first phone i ever used) during my birthday, last three years. I practically went everywhere with my smart phone. I slept with it lying on my chest most nights, i went for dates with it and i even usually go to the toilet with it. Infact, there was a time it had mistakenly dropped inside our water closet while i was holding it and "doing business". That was the day i thought it would die, but luckily for me, after i picked it out of the closet, removed the battery immediately, sun-ed it and hid it under the bag of rice in our store, i fixed back the battery and pushed the power button and Viola! It worked!
It had been a very loyal and faithful lover, up till last 2 weeks when it decided to jilt me. I felt so depressed and heart broken but when my mum asked me to go to the market to check for the price of a moderate phone she could afford, I was so happy. I quickly wore my "skin tight" trouser and a blouse to match, did light makeup, carried my handbag and left for the phone market, ecstatic.
When i got to the market, i was very disappointed. They said the price of dollar had increased and hence price of phones had also increased. All the phones i had in mind were all above my 100k mark and i was expecting mum to give me 70k while i added the last 30k i had to my name. I was about leaving one of the phone shop outlets i had been haggling prices, to head back home and think of a way to get additional money, when he met me.

"Good afternoon missus" He said with a lovely smile.
I looked back and our eyes met. He was dark skinned, averagely tall and had a slightly concealed yoruba mark on his left cheek. Even with his polished English, you wouldn't need an "expo" to tell he was yoruba. I have a couple of yoruba friends but there was just something different about him that made him seem distinct from my male yoruba friends. I still haven't been able to place that "something". Ordinarilly, i usually snob stranger's that try to talk to me on the road. This is lagos, computer village at that. No one trusts anyone, especially during this festive period when horrid tales abound.

"Good afternoon sir" i replied politely, returning his smile.
I quickly sized him up. He should be wearing close to 400k on him. His shoes and suit were Italian. His wrist watch, although slightly concealed, was an expensive piece of rolex and he wore a perfume that smelled expensive. He was dangling his car key with his left small finger.

"I was just stepping out, and i was wondering if you might be going my direction. I could drop you off with ease" he began, still smilling.

He didn't look like a rapist i thought, but then, people don't go about with "rapist" written on their forehead. I could save myself some cash from transportation, especially now that i needed cash to make up money for my phone. I needed any kobo i could save. I am dead without a phone, i could be dead if i followed this stranger, "all die na die" i concluded, silly.

" I'm going to Okota..." i finally said

" Very good " he said, cutting me short.

"I'm going towards mile 2. I could drop you off at Cele-express" he continued.

" I wouldn't want to stress you sir, besides, I'm a bit of a bore" i said, trying to form "not interested".

"Don't worry, that's the reason we have mp3's in a car" he insisted.

"Ok.." i said, giving up quickly.

"Lest i forget, your the most curvlicious beautiful girl I've seen in this market" he said, smilling again, looking at me and trying to weigh the effect of what he just said to me.

"Thanks" i replied with a straight face.

He said he was the owner of one of the biggest phone shops in ikeja, the popular computer village. Although I would like to keep the name of his outlet anonymous because it has no relevance to this story, i can say the name starts with an "S" and i will call this man Mr K.

Mr K led me where he parked his car, in front of the phone outlet. I suspected he would be someone important to the outlet otherwise, they wouldn't have allowed him park right in front of the shop. He paid no regard to the security man that was saluting him many times, trying to catch his attention. His car was a range rover sport. The interior was soft white leather and very neat. It smelled of Vanilla too.

"What did you come to do here?" Mr K asked as he waited for the car engine to run properly after having started it.
I told him about my phone and how i was dissapointed to find out that the prices of phones had increased above my budget. I tried not to sound desperate so he wouldn't think i was expecting something.

" I will give you an I-phone 7" he blurted out like it was nothing, his hands, on the steering as he drove.

Well, i wasn't the kind of girl that believed a girl deserved an expensive gift simply because she was curvy, fair or beautiful. I believed in hardwork. A girl has to earn whatever she gets from anyone, even family, let alone a stranger. Before my mum bought me my first ever phone, which was a techno F7 (May it's soul rest in piece), i had to sit my ass off a chair, helping her mark all her students answer scripts. She taught English in a community secondary school close to our house. My mum always told i and my elder sister that when a girl has beauty without brains, her private part suffers the most, so she always encouraged us to deserve any gift we were given by hardwork.

"What will i have to do for you to deserve such an expensive gift?" I asked, half expecting him to say I'll have to visit him at home.

"Nothing!" he said, taking his eyes off the road and looking at my laps as tho he could see them fresh, through the skin tight trouser i wore. I let him feed his eyes for a while then i politely placed my handbag on my legs.

"Hmmmm...." i blurted out.

" I am a major distributor of Porsche phones, I-phones, Samsung's, HTC's, name them... and sometimes, these companies give us free samples of their phones to put on display for intending customers. I could give you any of those units and surely, it won't affect my business" Mr K said proudly.

"Don't you have closer relatives that would deserve such a gift, better than a total stranger?" i asked.

I could sense he picked offence from my question, but he pretended to be a gentleman.
"How do you mean?" He asked back rhetorically with a half frown.

"It's not every good Samaritan that helps a stranger, expects something back in return" he said putting up a fake smile.

"Well sir, i would really really love to own an i-phone 7, but i would also want to deserve it" i said truthfully.

"Ok..." he said

" I have an idea...." he continued.

"Jesu!" He screamed in a timid yoruba accent. My heart skipped a beat. A child whoose mother was on the other side of the pedestrian had abruptly crossed the road. He hit on the break pedal and swerved the steering to the left, dodging the crossing child by some inches. It was a close shove.

"Alakoba wo le-leyi? Eh?" he asked me, not minding if i understood the language.
I was stupefied to even respond. He managed to control the car back to the main road without stopping and we continued our journey. I looked behind me and i was glad the little child was safe. She was in the embrace of her mother crying, while her mother was showing us her five fingers, probably cursing.
Mr K looked through the side mirror.

"Don't worry, the child is safe" he said trying to get back his composure.
We drove silently for about five minutes then he started again

"I will give you an I-phone 7 and all you'll need to do is put up adverts for my shop through all your social media accounts. I'm sure you have a lot of followers. Pretty ladies always do" he said.

"Just that?" i asked, not believing him

"Yes. Just that. We won't need to sign an MOU" he said smilling.

This man that has been smilling like a Jackal and wants to give me an I-phone 7 for absolutely nothing must definately have something else up his sleeves. An agreement is an agreement. If he comes up with some other funny attitudes, i will simply just refuse, Afterall, we agreed before he gave me the phone. All i need do is keep to my end of our agreement.

"Ok, so far i have a feeling i worked for it" i said

I didn't come to Ikeja today dreaming of even a low budget I-phone brand talkless of an I-phone 7, but here i am, faced with the possibly of getting an I-phone 7. Isn't that a miracle? I tried hard to hide my excitement.

" How do i contact you?" he asked. I just looked through the window and realized we were already close to Cele bustop. I would soon be alighting.

"Ehm... I.... I.... don't know. I can't give you my mum's number" i stammered.

"Ok... Tommorow morning, Just come by the shop were we met today and ask of Mr K" he said as he parked under the cele bridge for me to alight. I opened the car door stylishly and came down.

"I'll be expecting you tommorow morning" he said.

"Alright sir, i will be there" i replied.
Ofcourse i would there. Who wouldn't want an I-phone 7? Certainly not me.
Throughout that evening, i kept thinking of an I-phone 7. What if he just wanted to play me? What if he never intends to give me any phone? Well, i won't find out if i don't go.
That night, i had a very bad dream. I was watching a video clip on an I-phone 7. On the clip, i saw myself naked and lying on the bed with a masked man humping me. I must have been sedated because i was not moving my body while the man was at it. I woke up in the dead of the night deciding not to go and see Mr K. When day light came, i changed my mind again. How could i miss this opportunity of getting the most expensive phone in town because of a mere dream? Never! I got up, showered, wore a pink short gown with brown gladiator sandals and made up to kill. I knew how to prepare for a mission like this. When he sees me like this, he won't hesitate to give me the phone. With the confidence of a peacock, i left home for Ikeja.

Instead of taking the normal danfo bus, i took a taxi that charged me high because the driver switched on the vehicles A.C at my request. This was so as not to looked ruffled before i got to Mr. K's office. I wanted to look my best. This man could be a married man, i hadn't even thought of that before. It was too late to dwell on that now, besides i hadn't noticed any ring on him and i wasn't "interested".

" Good afternoon" i greeted the lady i saw on a Samsung stand when i got to "S"

"Please I'm here to see Mr. K" I requested politely.

The lady pointed to an office Accross a narrow passage that had a transparent glass door. I walked to the door and knocked lightly. I could see Mr K through the transparent door. His office was quite small, or so i thought. Maybe it was because there were so many papers that looked liked invoices littered over the big table or the plenty cartons that was piled up on all corners of the office. He waved for me to come in and i pushed the door and let myself in.

"Good morning sir". I greeted him

"Ah... My pretty. I thought you'll stand me up" he said. He beamed a smile at me and i smilled back.

" You look smashing" he said as his eyes scanned my whole body. Who smashing epp? Abeg gimme phone make i commot. I said in my mind.

"Thank you sir" I said smilling.

He stood up and pulled up the chair opposite him

"Pls sit" he said, pointing to the chair.

There was an apple laptop open on his table with a black I-phone 7 lying on his table. Is this the I-phone 7 that he plans to give me? I thought in my head.
"What can i offer you?" he asked

"Nothing" i said quickly, remembering the dream i had the previous night. If that dream were real, then i was definately sedated. I would avoid eating or drinking anything here.

"No.... No.... I have to get you something. You can't just come to my office and refuse to take anything".
He stood up before i could say anything else and made for the door. I had decided as i waited for him to come back that i wasn't going to eat whatever he brought back. I would insist.

I looked at his table and picked up one of the littered papers on the table. It was an invoice for the sale of a Samsung galaxy s7 edge. My eyes caught the I-phone 7 on the table again. I looked back at the door, there was no one in sight so i picked up the phone and pressed the home button. It was unlocked. A WhatsApp message popped in from "virgin hunters". It was obvious that this was his personal phone and not the one he intended to give me. I wanted to drop the phone then another message came in from "virgin hunters" again. I looked, it was 4 unread messages from the same WhatsApp contact. It was a group Chat.
The name sounded weird. What kind of people would name a chat group "Virgin hunters"? I thought.
Curiously, i clicked on the group chat. What i saw shocked me beyond measures........ TBC.

I
U made me read dis your extra long story without finishing up!! U better come back asap & finish up. I already drawing some conclusion about you but not till I see the end point.

Bukybabe:
will celebrating Christmas land someone in hell.Anyone that wants to celebrate christmas should...and those are not interested should stop bothering us...

Nobody is bothering u, we just trying 2 educate u,maybe it could change your life.

Priceless200:
Jehova witnesses indeed. SMH. I just pity you guys shaa. In my own personal experience with JWs shaa. Having read through their literatures all these years, having one or two things to do around their members, I can only say there's no difference between Moslems as we see them amd JWs Walai.
Or should I say pegans. Very wicked set of people, one, which Christian set segregates even among fellow Christian set in Marriage, in many things, hypocrites. You don't celebrate birthdays, Christmas and so what. Leave us naa. Let's celebrate. Their hatred for Catholicism is really annoying . You hardly read any of their write up that doesn't have something to say against Catholic, like for real.? Why the hate. Do your own thing naa. It's almost as if the religion was set up on revenge/competition against Catholic. Well shaa. It's Christmas again, stop disturbing the world with your selfish doctrine, we ve heard enough. Happy Christmas to everyone. May the new born king of peace envelope us all with peace for one another no matter the religion. Amen.

Gosh!! U so ignorant,nothing u said about JW makes any sense!!

Priceless200:
Jehova witnesses indeed. SMH. I just pity you guys shaa. In my own personal experience with JWs shaa. Having read through their literatures all these years, having one or two things to do around their members, I can only say there's no difference between Moslems as we see them amd JWs Walai.
Or should I say pegans. Very wicked set of people, one, which Christian set segregates even among fellow Christian set in Marriage, in many things, hypocrites. You don't celebrate birthdays, Christmas and so what. Leave us naa. Let's celebrate. Their hatred for Catholicism is really annoying . You hardly read any of their write up that doesn't have something to say against Catholic, like for real.? Why the hate. Do your own thing naa. It's almost as if the religion was set up on revenge/competition against Catholic. Well shaa. It's Christmas again, stop disturbing the world with your selfish doctrine, we ve heard enough. Happy Christmas to everyone. May the new born king of peace envelope us all with peace for one another no matter the religion. Amen.

Gosh!! U so ignorant,nothing u said about JW makes any sense!!

EdoNation:




WE DO NOT CARE!!!!!

Very disappointing,u just want to live in ignorance!

mercichoco:
Not entirely truth. hmmm! 17?

Hello merci

Berlynn:
stabbing your rival with bottle, won't stop that diick from standing erect at any available pussy....

U really 've one nasty mouth on u!

ireneony:
This is sad

Hello ireneony!