Shokayz's Posts
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 Travel / Re: How I Was Saved From An Accident Yesterday!...my Story! by shokayz(m): 8:09am On Mar 07, 2016 |
refiner: |
| Romance / Re: Why Do Most Handsome Guys Beg? by shokayz(m): 6:37pm On Nov 20, 2015 |
| Family / Just How The Software "Wife 01" Works by shokayz(m): 12:07am On Nov 18, 2015 |
Very Funny but very True. Lol. "Marriage Software This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst - (Marriage Software Div); Dear Systems Analyst, I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities. Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline. I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help? .... The Systems Analyst replied: Dear Customer, This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the......... C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system. It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding. G get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started). DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH. BEST WISHES! Yours," Systems Analyst |
| Romance / Re: Found Condoms In My Fiance's Bag.again! by shokayz(m): 6:24am On Oct 25, 2015 |
standingtall: Show me a man that is not cheating or has not cheated and I will ask you to leave. Think about his good sides also. Nuf said |
| Politics / Tribunal Nullifies Rivers Governorship Election by shokayz(m): 12:22pm On Oct 24, 2015 |
Breaking news from TVC just now announces that the River State Governorship election has been nullified by the tribunal. 1 Like |
| Politics / Re: Did You See The Mistake On The Ministerial List Sent To The Senator Saraki? (Pic by shokayz(m): 9:33am On Oct 14, 2015 |
christinie: No mind the OP, he bend down dey look person yanch no know say him own yanch sef dey show. 1 Like |
| Phones / Re: Etisalat Caller Tune On All Airte Calls? by shokayz(m): 9:04pm On Oct 09, 2015 |
Nop non of them ported i'm so sure |
| Phones / Etisalat Caller Tune On All Airte Calls? by shokayz(m): 8:14pm On Oct 09, 2015 |
I just called several airtel line tonight only to hear etisalat caller tune on all and I wonder why. Anybody else notice this? |
| European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Liverpool Have Sacked Brendan Rodgers As Manager by shokayz(m): 6:41pm On Oct 04, 2015 |
Liverpool have sacked Brendan Rodgers as manager. “We would like to place on record our sincere thanks to Brendan Rodgers for the significant contribution he has made to the club and express our gratitude for his hard work and commitment,” read a joint Fenway Sports Group statement from principal owner John W Henry, chairman Tom Werner and president Mike Gordon. “All of us have experienced some wonderful moments with Brendan as manager and we are confident he will enjoy a long career in the game. “Although this has been a difficult decision, we believe it provides us with the best opportunity for success on the pitch. Ambition and winning are at the heart of what we want to bring to Liverpool and we believe this change gives us the best opportunity to deliver it. “The search for a new manager is underway and we hope to make an appointment in a decisive and timely manner.” |
| Health / Re: My Manhood Has Stopped Working. by shokayz(m): 6:51pm On Sep 29, 2015 |
@ Op, it's not big deal just take it off ur mind cos anxiety can even make it worst. But with just 5k I can help u solve d problem in just weeks and it's guaranteed. Get back to me if u're interested. Note: it happened to me once |
| Phones / Re: Facebook Currently Down by shokayz(m): 8:35pm On Sep 28, 2015 |
And it's taking longer than can be imagined. Still down |
| Phones / Facebook Currently Down by shokayz(m): 8:09pm On Sep 28, 2015 |
Did any body notice it. Trying to open facebook now both on Web and app but getting error massage. |
| Family / Re: PHOTO: Man Who Abandoned Wife For Having 3 Set Of Twins Returns Home by shokayz(m): 10:12am On Jul 16, 2015 |
breadandbutter:I am a yoruba guy but this your comment shows your are tribalistic bastard. A true yoruba person can never post a stupid comment like this. What happened to this man can happen to anyone regardless of tride. You should comment using your senses next time. A word is enough for the wise but that is if you are wise. 1 Like |
| Sports / Re: Exclusive: Petr Cech Has Agreed To Join Arsenal From Chelsea On A Long-term Cont by shokayz(m): 3:55pm On Jun 29, 2015 |
Welcome to the EMIRATES Cech. Mod abeg load it up |
| Sports / Exclusive: Petr Cech Has Agreed To Join Arsenal From Chelsea On A Long-term Cont by shokayz(m): 3:50pm On Jun 29, 2015 |
Petr Cech has agreed to join Arsenal from Chelsea on a long-term contract for an undisclosed fee. The 33-year-old goalkeeper made over 400 appearances during 11 years at Stamford Bridge, winning multiple club and personal honours. He also won the Premier League Golden Glove award on three occasions. A seven-time Czech Footballer of the Year, Cech made his international debut in 2002. He currently has 114 caps for his country - four short of countryman Karel Poborsky’s all-time record. When Arsène Wenger spoke to me about his ambitions for this club, and how he saw me as part of this team, the decision was clear Petr Cech Cech began his career in the Czech Republic with Chmel Blsany, before moving to Sparta Prague. He joined Rennes in France in 2002, before arriving in the Premier League with Chelsea in 2004. Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger said: “Petr Cech is a player that I have admired for a long time and I am very pleased that he has decided to join us. He has proven over many seasons that he is one of the outstanding keepers in the world and he will add great strength to our squad.” New signing Cech said: “I’m really excited about joining Arsenal Football Club and can't wait to join up for pre-season. I have the same commitment to football, the same motivation and the same hunger for success as I had at the beginning of my career, and I love the challenges brought by the top quality players you face while playing in the Premier League. When Arsène Wenger spoke to me about his ambitions for this club, and how he saw me as part of this team, the decision was clear.” Cech has completed his medical and will join up with his new team-mates shortly to begin preparations for the 2015/16 season. Cech’s Arsenal squad number will be revealed soon through Arsenal’s official Instagram account. Everyone at Arsenal would like to welcome Petr to the Club. Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20150629/petr-cech-agrees-to-join-arsenal#ov4FWCo53MTq6Fi1.99 |
| Crime / Re: Photos: Last Moments And Death Of Man Killed By Soldier In Benue (viewer Discret by shokayz(m): 11:08am On Apr 22, 2015 |
woodcook: With this kind of looonnnnng ministerial list, i sorry for Naija |
| Romance / Re: How A Face Book Girl Brought Out Her Facebook Chat To The Public by shokayz(m): 10:41am On Apr 22, 2015 |
Na the guy win joor 1 Like |
| Politics / Re: See What Obanikoro Wore For An Official Meeting With UN Reps And President GEJ by shokayz(m): 12:46pm On Apr 17, 2015 |
Icon4s: Bastaaard Racist/Tribalistic Bastaaard. Choose one 2 Likes |
| Crime / Serious Fighting At Oshodi by shokayz(m): 4:57pm On Apr 09, 2015 |
Just got a call from a relative now that there is serious fighting at oshodi now. Can anybody please confirm? |
| Romance / Re: Her Fiance Is Seriously Complaining About Her Boobs by shokayz(m): 10:02am On Mar 27, 2015 |
Piksur ov the small boobs or.................................. |
| Romance / Re: Here's The Real Reason Men Like Big Butts by shokayz(m): 6:55pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
MissAdeife: Because you get big back yard. |
| Politics / Re: PDP New Slogan Rocking The Town Now by shokayz(m): 9:20pm On Mar 14, 2015 |
fathermikky: wetin dis 1 dey talk |
| Politics / Re: Buhari's London Meeting Was In Transcorp Abuja - Fayose Claims (Pictures) by shokayz(m): 1:04pm On Feb 24, 2015 |
coldsummer: I think say na only me see am ooooo. |
| Romance / Re: If You Were Asked To Get Married Under This Condition by shokayz(m): 11:55am On Feb 19, 2015 |
I will get married before dem born me sef 00 is last two digits. |
| Sports / Re: Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 10:05pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
second half starts |
| Sports / Re: Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 10:04pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
fifa.com |
| Sports / Re: Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 10:02pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
fastest goal in one minute |
| Sports / Re: Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 9:55pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
end of first half still 0-2 |
| Sports / Re: Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 9:54pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
front page ooooo |
| Sports / Fifa U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014 by shokayz(m): 9:52pm On Aug 09, 2014 |
FIFA U-20 WOMEN'S WORLD CUP CANADA 2014 05/08/2014 - 24/08/2014. KOR Vs NIG . Now 0-2 in favour of Nigeria |
| Politics / Re: President Jonathan Barefoot At A Meeting With Staff (Picture) by shokayz(m): 10:45pm On Aug 08, 2014 |
he wasnt used to putting on shoe. simple |
| Romance / What Is Sexy, And Who Makes The Rules? by shokayz(m): 8:17am On Nov 10, 2013 |
What Is Sexy? – Sexy is defined differently depending on who you are, what your cultural background is, and even which country you live in. But often we’re bombarded by images and messages of what we should find sexy and how we should be to be sexy. This week, we’re chatting about what sexy is and how to stop defining yourself by how the world sees youIf you’ve watched TV or picked up a magazine recently, you know there are pictures of what sexy is ‘supposed’ to be all around you. However, we’re all different and find different things more and less sexy than anyone else, which is good, other wise we’d all be attracted to exactly the same things – and that would be both problematic and dull! Sexy, more than anything else, is an attitude. Its not how we look, what we wear or how fat, thin, short or tall we are. If you are feeling good about yourself and can strut your stuff, others will find that attractive. Even if you are the most ‘gorgeous’ person, if you haven’t got the confidence to be yourself, its just not going to be all that sexy. Believe it or not, all models and celebrities have insecurities about their looks from time to time. The pressure is on these public figures even more because the world judges and defines them only by the way they look. It’s true that sometimes we need to wear that drop- dead gorgeous dress to feel good about ourselves, or we need to wear a certain kind of make up or brand of clothing to feel good. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as its good to look after yourself physically and mentally and wearing nice clothes or making an effort for a special person or occasion can makes us feel that we are looking ourselves. But be careful not to just rely on fashion and your outward appearance. There is a huge global multi- million rand industry built around selling the notion of what is sexy and making people feel they have to look a certain way or have particular accessories in order to be taken seriously by their peers. This leads to a lot of unhappiness all over the world. So, don’t worry if you haven’t got the money to buy all the latest gear. Develop confidence in yourself and be brave enough to do your own thing. What defines ‘sexy’ is not the same from continent to continent and culture to culture. Women from the Kayan tribe in Thailand start wearing brass rings around their necks from the age of five, adding more and more as they get older and elongating their necks, because a super long neck is considered elegant and sexy! tretched ear lobes. lips and body scarring are other practices denoting beauty in different communities, while Mauritanian women are seen as more sexy the more overweight they are, to the point that young girls are sent by their parents to camps where they may be forced to eat up to 15,000 calories a day, in an effort to “fatten them up”. Research show that both men and women form ideas of what they find “sexy”, according to media and fashion stereotypes about sexiness. They notice people around them who fit these stereotypes because that is what they have been told or shown means “sexy”. This also differs very much from person to person. Keep in mind that the media you consume (the magazines you read, for instance, or the TV shows you watch) will influence what you think is sexy and attractive. Crossing many different cultures and peoples, the following qualities appear to be rated as elements of “sexiness” by many: a look of “mischief”- laughter/naughtiness in the eyes, sophisticated mysteriousness – elegant but edgy, relaxed vulnerability – a childlike carefree attitude, being at ease in their own skin, wit and humour, lavish sensuousness, signs of good health, heartfelt sincerity, vitality and human warmth/empathy. Sex appeal is all about attitude, the aura you give off and making the most of what you’ve got. It’s the way you walk or move or smile that tends to draw people’s attention to you in the first place and then your ability to get into a conversation, seem friendly and interested but not too intense, is what they see next. Being fairly relaxed about your body is generally much sexier than being uptight about it. Constant self -monitoring and self commentary on whether you are too fat, thin, clever, stupid, etc. is very off-putting to partners. Most people, male and female, when asked what they find sexy in a partner, tend to focus more on personality than physicality. It’s true that we tend to have favourite bits of bodies, particular physical attributes that we go for, but it is often much more important that someone is intelligent, funny or sympathetic than that they look a certain way. We are aware anyway that looks change over time and with fashion. Most of the time, the pictures you see on billboards and on magazines are not how people actually look, in real life. Magazines and advertisements use photoshop and other image enhancing tools to instantly make models look slimmer, have a smaller nose, look taller, or have perfect cheekbones. So chances are, the model you’re comparing yourself to looks very different in real life! Don’t be so distracted by everything that’s sold to you as sexy. Work it out for yourself and make up your own mind. It’s much more interesting that way and you are likely to focus on things that last better for you and help you make relationships that give you more. Try not to judge yourself by media images or other people’s comments, it can really knock your sexual confidence which can then lead to further difficulties. If a partner you like and trust tells you they find you sexy, believe it and enjoy it! Don’t spend your time discounting what they say (“You’re only saying that to be kind to me….”). Tell others you find them sexy when you do, life is too short not to and most people love a compliment. Of course you can make changes to things like your weight or your look if you want to, but concentrate for the main part on thinking “This is what I’ve got, I might as well make the most of it”. Remember, apology is a seriously unsexy thing and avoid apologising for yourself and how you look at all times! |
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