₦airaland Forum

Maya2pretty: I met dis guy, he's d youngest brother to my dad's friend's wife, somehow somehow we fell in love and started datin, only 4 me 2 discover his 7yrs relationship that had serious problems durin d time of our meetin got back together. I was so devastated, tried 2 leave him but he kept beggin me, confessin his love 2 me and all,that his girlfriend involved Pastors so he had to settle wit ha but he loves me deeply, we decided to b friends but d emotional connection is so strong, what should I do? pls help me

Hello maya-doll... Thanks for opening up, they always say 'a closed mouth is a closed destiny.'

Let me say to you dolls in the room, that every relationship is controlled by a female (the gents would attest to that) and guys get aroused/distracted easily so its the females job to keep him in line by giving him treasured moments.

Maya-doll, i would advice that you limit your relationship with the guy, he doesn't love you enough...but note that he won't let you go. A day might come, something intimate will happen between you two, if you continue like this & still he won't want you. So try to avoid a second heartbreak.

carmelion: Experience they say is the best teacher.I want to share with you dolls one the not so sweet experience I had while I was dating a particular guy.My dear Sisters,beware of guys who will tell you that they love but they already have a fiancee who is known by the family members.they brainwash you and tell that it is you they love(this happens after you hace opened your legs for them,why not before?)

They spoil you with money,love and so on you fall helplessly in love.And at the end of the day,they walk down the aisle with the they supposedly didn't love,while leaving you heartbroken .

Hey dolls,it happened to me and believe me I don't want anyone of you to feel what I felt.I was down,i felt suicidal.I believe that a lady out there is ignorantly believing another play boy out there.

Please my dear sister,wake up today and run.If its you he truly loves,he wouldn't have a fiancee who is not you,Well am over it now but I don't want any other person to innocently fall for such people.You deserve the best!

Hello dolls (i don't knw why y'all pick that name, i think its inappriopriate) and gents...

Permit me to hold the bull by the horn. Ladies (majorly) have caused a great deal of the injuries they face since they initially set the 'bombs'. The notion of finding a 'ready-made-man' is a ticking time bomb, ladies of our century are freaked with extremes of material accumulations: hair, phones, cars, money and the lots.

I would certainly say the definition of love has been re-written by the modern girls: love is about the comfort you provide for a girl materially. I could bet my account that in the above story, if the guy dint have as much money you would have jumped the trap.

So here's my advice: MATERIAL things are good but should entice you and blind your eyes to who and what you want in a man.

ferdimako: He said agent played for him, informed him of the selection and paid money for processing.Agent meant well, will mark you so closely, kinda you are under CCTV and he agreed with those terms and conditions. Now he wants to paint agent bad by saying the money is too much because he can't afford all now. Once you've shaken hands with the devil, you belong to the devil.

@ ferdimako....its either you can't read in english or u'r high on something! Try & read the post before you comment.

@ jonnywalker..... Even a written contract can b nulified under certain conditions. Since this is a verbal contract, you can go to the police and claim you were misinformated or ignorant and your ignorance has been played upon. And if your said agent did pay: your visa fee, medicals, police report, age declaration, and other cost which cannot amount to a cost more than $1000, you will be willing to pay him back with 50% interest (which i think is good business) otherwise SUE HIM IN COURT and claim misinterpretation or misinformation and fraudulent act to sell your visa (possibly get a recorded conversation to that effect without his knowing).

Finally PLEASE DO NOT LET THE EMBASSY KNOW UNLESS THE POLICE INSISTS. Wish you luck.

uniqueprivacy: I want to say a very big thanks to everyone who has made useful contribution to my question because it has really been of help and encouragement. I can't thank you enough, what an e-family we are. more of your contributions are welcomed.
Please my fellow forumite, the real issue here is that, it is not as if i couldn't have gone ahead to do the introduction (knocking of door) before leaving, at least to please her becos for me, just going to see her parent without any proper marriage rediness does not really make much sense becos introduction is not marriage. we have seen and heard many occasions where people do introduction but do not end up in marriage, and even marriages that broke up within a very short time, it is God that has the ultimate say. though i am not praying for those kind of things to happen to me and i am not willing to struggle for anything, but my point is that it should not look as if introduction is the best and only solution to this issue, but what is key here is the love and trust we should have for each other. I want to agree with the advice my two fathers in the lord from diff churches gave to me that i shouldn't do any introduction, that if truely she loves me as much as i do, and it is the will of God, that we will wait for each other, and that i should travel first and go settle down and then come back for her and do everything at once, because if it takes a long time after the introduction, there could be pressure from her family which could lead to so many things, and possibly make me loose focus in the state. so you guys can immagine the kind of confusion i am in, how do i convince my woman, she means so much to me and i don't want to hurt her feelings in anyway. I will be travelling early April, God please help me out.
.

Broda...i seriously wantu to think about what you are saying. Marriage is a couples thing, leave your spiritual fathers out of the matter cuz you won't end up living with them & if something goes wrong they will hands off.

Trust your love enough to mak a reasonable commitment. Either do a court wedding or pay her bride price(small one), then that will coordinate your behaviour in the US as you will always be remembered that you are a married man.

But if you don't trust your love enough to do it, you will have told her that you don't want her & i can promise you that you will loose out.

So go be a man & show her you love her, then she will wait.

jonnywalker: hi pals,i'm posting this to invite ideas from the gurus n anyone with experience.pls i've got my visa but unfortunately the agents who played for me had collected my passport n sealed envelope requesting 7000dollars before givin it back.when they first called to notify me of winning,my family told them we don't have money but they said we could make two\third payment n go to court to sign agreement to pay the rest within a year after visa .they paid all the processin fees tellin me that i will pay it in addition to the 7000.they've collected my visa now,we went to plead with 2500dollars but they refused.they denied sayin the part payment.now i don't have any other source to get money for them.i wanted a peaceful negotiating but it seem they are not ready.i'm asking if there's any other option i can get my package back.please temmy,gentiger n everyone with experience can help.thanks

@jonnywalker, i want to ask firstly which country you are from cuz it certainly can't be Naija.

Secondly how did they get a hold of ur visa, if you dint give it to them??

Thirdly, what processing fees did they pay aside the USD330 Dint you pay an application fee??

An advice to the house: Gone are the days when we walk miles to get information, nowadays with a click we get information from different places. Take your time and patience to ask questions and seek information before embarking on any voyage as our NAIRALANDERS are doing here.

@jonnywalker: I tink if this information reaches the US embassy, ur visa could be withheld or revoked.

rood boy: If you are n lagos den come down to surulere ask of bodetomos junction ask any body dere dat u r goin to NPC office very close to bodetomos junction. I did mine 3k dere.

Tnx @ rood boy.
I av been there & i was adviced 2do mine in my state possibly the local government where i am residing. So dis is an info 4 those who avnt done.

4 those gamblin wit their visas, i wish u well.

Congratulations to all those who have gotten their Visas. To those of us awaiting interview, our Visas are SURE!!! To those on awaiting 2NL, your miracle is on a jet plane.

Please those who did their NPC birth attestattion in Lagos @ 4k, please help me with the exact location cuz am in lag and would love to do it ASAP!!!

Thanks to the house

goldenfish4u: This forum has helped me a lot and I want to give back something to married couples in the house, pls dont mind my long story. I and my Wife had successful interview few days ago and appointment was at 9:00 AM in London so we left home very early to avoid early morning traffic. I was initially concerned about my big bag so I asked my wife to put plastic bags in her handbag in case they refused us entrance with such big bag. We found already a small queue ahead of us but most of them were non-immigrant visa. We got checked inside in twos as you will expect- airport style baggage and body scan, my wife was scared when she saw fully kitted police every where even in the compound just as you see it in American movies, all I could say was- God bless America! Getting inside the massive building, we handed our 2nd NL and the invitation letter we got from the US embassy few weeks back to the receptionist.
The lady at the reception gave us a slip containing our calling number and was directed to a large waiting hall where we found lot of people waiting for non-immigrant visa and US citizen coming for their passport renewals.
After waiting for about 30mins, our number was called, at the window where we met a nice lady and friendly as well. She requested for our notification letter, she went away to bring our file, inside the file was our initial form DSP... we sent to KCC and our medical, she handed out our Xray CD to us which we must take with us and be ready to present it if ever it was requested at the port of entry, she collected all necessary documents starting from birth certificate and proof of Support. She also gave us a courier paper we would use to arrange for our passport to be returned to us, she requested for one additional picture as well, thank God my wife took them with her. Please try to be organized so that you wouldn’t frustrate this people because they are busy and there are still many people waiting. I have two folders, one for my wife and one for myself the principal applicant. All we need to do is to go into each ones folder and bring out original and one photocopy of each document as requested by her.
I was happy to cross the first hurdle. I so enjoyed this first part that I wish that was all. I asked my wife that ‘is that all? maybe next thing is welcome to America’ my wife said u are not serious, we are yet to face the real hurdle.
she came back and asked us to go and pay the DV visa fee at the cashier desk in window 12 then come back, which I did using my debit card. After that, she asked us to go and wait in the hall again for our number to be called for an interview.
I have never been in this type of situation before, this is not a work interview or Who wants to be a Millionaire, this is a life changing experience, future to be determined in the next 1hr or 2hrs but one thing that kept us going was that we have prayed, nairalanders have prayed and also people are praying at the moment even as we were sitting, I was prepared to say the truth with my wife. As I’m writing now I remembered that moment ....THANK YOU JESUS......
After almost 2 .5hours of waiting, our number was called, I pretended I didn’t hear, my wife also pretended, number called again, my wife said is that not our number, I said, I heard it before, I tot my mind was playing games on me.
It was a young beautiful lady that was conducting the interview. She asked who the principal applicant is, I raised my hand, she took my finger prints followed by my wife’s finger prints, and we performed the oaths together raising our right hands.
The interview:
Co: What do you do?
Me: Answered
CO: Did you use any agent to play
Me: No
CO: How much did you pay to play?
Me: I paid no one
CO: Where did you play it?
Me: On my computer inside my room
CO: Tell me the site you played it
Me: Its dvlottery.state.gov or dvlottery.gov.state, one of the two
CO: How long have you been playing?
Me: I don’t normally play lottery during the paper system, but since the introduction of Online application I decided to play it, so I can’t really say how long, but I can say I started when e-system of application was introduced, it’s easy and straight forward (SHE KEPT TYPING ALL THE WAY)
CO: Have you been to the state before?
ME/Wife: No
CO: How do you want to support yourself and your wife?
Me: I have families in the state to live with (AOS from them)
CO: How much money do they plan to give you and is it weekly, monthly?
Me: I have savings in my bank account (Bank statement). SHE KEPT TYPING.
CO (Asked my wife): How do you want to support yourself (Tricky question)
Wife: He is my husband so we save together.
CO: why did you decide to marry after lottery?
Me: We have been dating for 3years now, last Dec 2011 we decided the date for the introduction which was in March, and the wedding which happen to be after lottery result. That was the earliest date we could pick because it’s hard to get wedding date in the summer. So many couples avoid wedding in the winter.
CO: Is that your wedding ring
Me: Yes
CO: Where did you buy it?
Me/wife: answered together
CO: How many people came to your wedding?
Me/wife: we named some
CO: When did you start dating?
Me/Wife: We answered together
CO: Do you live together:
Me/Wife: We answered
CO: Since when
Me/Wife: Answered together
CO: Any tenancy agreement with your names
Me: yes (we gave her)
CO: Any other marriage before this
Me: No
CO: Any police arrest
Me: No
CO: Any picture of your date?
Me: Gave her
CO: I am going to approve your visa
Me: Thank you.
The secret to my success is the TRUTH. Say things the way it happens, they are human being as well with feelings, be honest and pray very well. Our BIG bag was full of 5 different albums of our life before wedding, during wedding and after wedding. I know we Naijas don’t take dating pictures serious, thank God for facebook, let us try and take pictures as a couple even if we go out together to fetch water from the river. Americans CO believe this is how relationship should be and romantic side of it will proof how real it is. Don’t show them pictures of when you stand together like Idumota soldier, put together the romantic ones even if it is few. The CO took her time to look through all our pictures one by one, my wife too was showing her and telling her the names of my family members in the album, at a point I nearly got vexed with my wife, thinking who is the winner, who is doing the talk!

Note, your partner will play major role though he/she may not be the winner but he/she should be active and sensitive, just as my wife spoke and told the CO the people in our albums. There are questions that require answers from both of you at the same time, so couples be prepared. Rehearse your life experience together and pray; it’s a pity that our country has made this opportunity hard for applicants in genuine relationship because of the foolish Agent doing dubious business. This has spread outside the country and that is why even in London you can imagine this type of experience faced by Nigerians in my situation. I only prepared for academic questions but all questions were based on my marriage. I spent roughly 25 to 30min with the CO. Prepare for everything. Once again Say the truth and the truth will set you free. I will suggest some other proofs I have with me which I didn't use because the Co was convinced beyond doubt but might help married couples;

[b]I understand no gadget, no phone, no laptop or tablet policy, so I think out of the box.

1.I printed some of our dating pictures on facebook for the past 3years, I also click to open each facebook picture’s page which has DATE uploaded on the right with comments, I did the Printscreen (CTR + Print) and pasted on Microsoft word to print. If they doubt, they should give me a computer to open it.

2.I also open our email conversations, did the screen shot and print, or you can print it without screenshot, this also has date on it and time. In case of doubt, I was prepared to show them in my email if they give me computer. To open you conversation, search mails using your partners email, or reserve words like love you, miss you, sex, sex you, missing you, sweetie, pawpaw, honey, names you use for each other when you send email. You will get some of your past conversations etc.

3. I downloaded ‘SMS TO TEXT’ on my android Google play - so I saved all text message between us to computer, opened in plain text with notepad and print out, I was able to print our conversations up to late 2011, that is if you are still using same phone since then.

4. I exported my call logs on my two phones, other phone I have wasn’t android so regardless of your phone, find a way to get right app to do it, i found one on android- ‘Call History’, though I didn’t use it. I know it might be too hard to get your call logs from your phone providers in Nigeria, but you can help yourself. Check it.

5. Any official documents- Power holding Bill with your names on it, change of address of both party from post office in the past if applicable e.t.c[/b]

Thank you all for your advice and prayers, and to my friend who knows himself, he offered to give nairalanders prayer request for me without my knowledge.

Once again Say the truth and the truth will set you free.

Congrats bro 2u & ur wife!!! You can now get married and live the American dream 2geda. Pls i need enlightenment on the questn 'HOW YOU INTEND TO SUPPORT YOURSELF IN THE US?' Pls is ds a regular interview questn @d interview?? And what is the most appropriate answer

Pls house, enlighten us more!

monsieursam64: birth cert(including an affidavit frm High court = #4000, police report = #5000

Tnx bro... Am grateful!!!

Hello house, much tanx 2 all of u helpin us out wit ideas & stuff. Pleasei'd lik 2 knw hw much the police certificate, birth certificate & international driving license cost. So i'll knw hw much 2com wt 2 Lagos. Tanx

Hello Peeps. I am a DV 2013 selectee and i have been scheduled for interview in Lagos by March. I haven't read the whole pages here, but i am in need of advice and possible interview questions.

Thanks

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