₦airaland Forum

Oh God,just destroy the world, and create new Adam and eve.but please don't destroy me and my nairalanders,,they are my social media family...
This world is so wicked
am scared of this country called Nigeria.

tgmservice:
So sad to see these ignorant people bring curse onto themselves by learning the language of the WESTERN CURSED TRIBE.

Are you alright?I mean are u sane?are you seriously 4 real?what am trying to ask,is if you re normal?

the Yoruba's re wonderful set of people, very accommodating...... God bless the Yoruba tribe .

To every nairalander who never wishes to have a son like this,May almighty God never give u a son like this,rather He will grant you a son who will be well famous,appreciates his gender and also makes u proud.

The God that started this project with you,will definitely see you through it.And anyone reading this and celebrating with the OP,will start his own house project this year.

Did anyone noticed that this APC change also affected MTN... before if I call MTN caller tune subscribers,I go hear"To copy this tune press 1,
But now the thing when I dey hear now,na press 11.
I con dey feel say na the change na spread reach there....Lol

The only thing wen I fit talk na THANK U.my Belle sweet me well well.

Oh Jesus, we all should be prayerful, this is leap year,a lot of deaths occur this year,but I pray that anyone reading this will never go with 2016,rather we all will see its end....

2016 na leap year,,a lot of deaths happens this year,,we all should be prayerful,,May Almighty Allah preserve our lives,2016 will not see the end of us, rather we will see its end.

I don't have answers to that,,sorry,,next person pls??

Photos

Money stops nonsense, and it makes real sense even if u talk nonsense,,,money oh, sweet money I luv uuuuuuuuuuuu

YOUNGSTUNA:
I swear I miss corruption... I miss him like Tom misses Jerry

LOL,like seriously

BRING BACK OUR CORRUPTION!!!

With Corruption a bag of pure water was N80

Without Corruption a bag of pure water is N150

With Corruption dollar was N180

Without Corruption dollar is N400

With Corruption I have 20hrs electricity at low
tariff

Without Corruption I have 7hrs electricity
with 45% increase in tariff

With Corruption keke to my house takes N50

Without Corruption keke to my house takes N100

WithCorruption smallest indomie was N40

Without Corruption smallest indomie is N60

Razor blade is now 20 naira per piece.

Egg is now 35 naira for one.

The list can go on and on but I just have to end
it and take a stand.....

If with Corruption Dollar was N180 and without
Corruption Dollar is now N425,

Brother and Sisters, you will agree with me that
we need corruption in this country...

Titus Sardine started with 4 fishes, it reduced to
3. Then now it's 2.

In years to come, you'll open Sardine and see
"Try Again Later"

LOL

Hmmmm,happy birthday ebube, you look really hot.
Am waiting for the "Go and marry" crew...oya na.

What is with this new trend of pregnant women showing off their baby bump,and the worst part of it,is that they go almost unclad by showing it off.
With a beautiful flowing gown,your baby bump will still be seen,,this is Africa,a woman's body must be covered,and especially a married woman.

Osinbajo: Mr. President, Mikel scored today?

Buhari: Which Mikel?

Osinbajo: John Mikel Obi of Nigeria

Buhari: What did you drink last night?

Osinbajo: I swear, him score.

Buhari: Osinbade, That means change have

catch Mikel and football

Osinbajo: Yes, change has change Mikel

Buhari: Did Chelsea win?

Osinbajo: No, them beat them two one, last

minute goal

Buhari: That is corruption, we must fight it

Osinbajo: How?

Buhari: They must replay the match. Call EFCC

Chairman for me

Photo

Many are ignorant of the many dangers of “campus marriage” common among students in Nigeria’s higher institutions. So many a destiny have been cut in their prime due to what has gradually assumed a culture among undergraduates. In campus parlance, campus marriage is simply an immoral cohabitation involving two individuals of the opposite sex living together usually under the same abode, sharing everything in common. They eat and sometimes study together in classes and even have intimate relationship without being legally pronounced married. This illicit act had overtimes increased the high rate of immorality particularly on campus among Nigerian students in tertiary institutions which never always lead to legal marriage. It has always ended at right at the school gate. Apparently, majority of culprits have no tangible reasons for engaging in this immoral act. Although, having interviewed many especially the female students, they said it’s a smart way to deal with the challenge of lack of accommodation. Some have argued that they chose to be close to each other for better intimacy whereas for others, the reasons are clearly bogus. Interestingly, some categorically said their reason for cohabitation is hinged on meeting selfish emotional needs. For this category of students, cohabitation is a sure-fire way to experience the complete pleasure and excitement of living together. Irrespective of how far they go in validating their practice, one cannot deny the fact that it portends more harm than good for the couple. Checks have shown that those involved in the act have had to battle with the demands of academics, sometimes resulting in untold failure. Cases of unwanted pregnancies are also rife, further fuelling the lack of concentration common among many students today. There are even far more menacing dangers. There is the story of a married female student in one of the Nigeria’s higher institutions, who had extra-marital affair with a student. One day, the husband visited unannounced only to catch both love birds in the act. This prompted the husband to stab the lady to death. There are many other gory narratives of this shade. As seen in the lives of most practitioners, campus marriage affects a student’s academic performance which often leads to eventual withdrawal when such students can no longer meet the standards set by the school. Expectedly, female students are the worst hit due to the possibility of unwanted pregnancy. Cases abound of not only how this has stunted the career growth of many females, but also the associated risk of death when abortion becomes the last resort to save their faces. Again, this act is considered illegal by law and immoral by both Christians and Muslim faithfuls. Marriage is said to be a legal union between two individuals of opposite sex – a man and a woman – recognised and authenticated by any formal institution, be it the Church, Mosque or law courts. It is plainly foolhardy to put up with a man who has not paid the bride price, much less solemnise a relationship. Female students who still fall into this ditch deserve to be blamed for the calamity that stands in their way. However, it is better that students desist from engaging in cohabitation of this manner. It’s a trap that has shattered the dreams and aspirations of many young people. It never guarantees a successful marriage either.

Many are ignorant of the many dangers of “campus marriage” common among students in Nigeria’s higher institutions. So many a destiny have been cut in their prime due to what has gradually assumed a culture among undergraduates. In campus parlance, campus marriage is simply an immoral cohabitation involving two individuals of the opposite sex living together usually under the same abode, sharing everything in common. They eat and sometimes study together in classes and even have intimate relationship without being legally pronounced married. This illicit act had overtimes increased the high rate of immorality particularly on campus among Nigerian students in tertiary institutions which never always lead to legal marriage. It has always ended at right at the school gate. Apparently, majority of culprits have no tangible reasons for engaging in this immoral act. Although, having interviewed many especially the female students, they said it’s a smart way to deal with the challenge of lack of accommodation. Some have argued that they chose to be close to each other for better intimacy whereas for others, the reasons are clearly bogus. Interestingly, some categorically said their reason for cohabitation is hinged on meeting selfish emotional needs. For this category of students, cohabitation is a sure-fire way to experience the complete pleasure and excitement of living together. Irrespective of how far they go in validating their practice, one cannot deny the fact that it portends more harm than good for the couple. Checks have shown that those involved in the act have had to battle with the demands of academics, sometimes resulting in untold failure. Cases of unwanted pregnancies are also rife, further fuelling the lack of concentration common among many students today. There are even far more menacing dangers. There is the story of a married female student in one of the Nigeria’s higher institutions, who had extra-marital affair with a student. One day, the husband visited unannounced only to catch both love birds in the act. This prompted the husband to stab the lady to death. There are many other gory narratives of this shade. As seen in the lives of most practitioners, campus marriage affects a student’s academic performance which often leads to eventual withdrawal when such students can no longer meet the standards set by the school. Expectedly, female students are the worst hit due to the possibility of unwanted pregnancy. Cases abound of not only how this has stunted the career growth of many females, but also the associated risk of death when abortion becomes the last resort to save their faces. Again, this act is considered illegal by law and immoral by both Christians and Muslim faithfuls. Marriage is said to be a legal union between two individuals of opposite sex – a man and a woman – recognised and authenticated by any formal institution, be it the Church, Mosque or law courts. It is plainly foolhardy to put up with a man who has not paid the bride price, much less solemnise a relationship. Female students who still fall into this ditch deserve to be blamed for the calamity that stands in their way. However, it is better that students desist from engaging in cohabitation of this manner. It’s a trap that has shattered the dreams and aspirations of many young people. It never guarantees a successful marriage either.

IGBO HUSBAND
Advantages
1. He is very loyal
2. He maintains monogamy
3. Could be very yielding/gullible
4. Gives you access to all his assets
5. Follows your advice and directions to the
letter
6. Spends money on you for comfort, good looks
and happiness
7. Takes care of your kids

Disadvantages
1. Could be very unromantic-Romance is limited
to spending money, spending money and
spending money
2. May be semi-literate or illiterate.
3. May marry you early and deny you of access
to life/youth.
4. More likely to be crude and unrefined
5. Always has a large family to cater to and take
care of plus apprentices etc
6. May not be presentable
7. May be horrible in bed and/or sexually
illiterate/unwillin g to explore.
8. Could be gullible/easy to deceive

YORUBA HUSBAND
Advantages
1. Could be very romantic.
2. Could be caring
3. Tries to maintain leadership in the home.
4. Disciplines kids well
5. More white-collar career inclined
6. Literacy level is usually high

Disadvantages
1. More likely to philander
2. More likely to eventually marry another wife
3. More likely to marry you for your money/
connections.
4. Could be highly assertive.
5. Most times you would take care of yourself
after a while.
6. You may eventually separate with nothing to
show for it.
7. Family members may be given priority.

EDO HUSBAND
Advantages
1. Believes in marriage
2. Takes care of you and your needs.

Disadvantages
1. May end up not taking full care of the kids
2. Could be very harsh
3. Does not take any nonsense
4. You may end up taking care of him
5. You cant cheat on him.

URHOBO MAN

Advantages
1. Believes in marriage
2. Takes care of you and your needs.
Disadvantages
1. You may end up taking care of him
2. You cant cheat on him.

EFIK MAN

Advantages
1. Will effectively take care of the culinary
activities in your absence.
2. Is usually very religious
3. Hardworking
4. Good in bed
5. Quite organised and clean.

Disadvantages
1. Be prepared to have 12 kids
2. Your cooking may not be good enough
3. He will either be very ugly or very handsome.
no line between. He will also either be very short
or very tall. Same with your kids
4. Prepare to have a husband like 25 years older
than you in his fifties.

HAUSA MAN

Advantages
1. Hardly believes in premarital sex.
2. Very religious
3. Takes care of you

Disadvantages
1. You may be wife number 4
2. You may be wife number 4 at 14
3. You have absolutely no say in anything,
anywhere and anytime.
4. If he passes away, you may be transferred to
another family.

Different kinds of Nigerian wives

URHOBO WIFE

Advantages
1 always loyal/faithfully( cheating is outright
abomination)
2 very hardworking and self reliant
3 very good cook(banga soup,owo,peppersoup
,sea food specials
4 can persevere even in poverty conditions
5 accommodating if a second wife shows up
6 what u see is what u get kind of attitude
7 would lay down their life for their children

Disadvantages
1 agrumentative
2 stubborn
3 alcoholic tendencies
4 some level of gra- gra
5 very very very vocal


YORUBA WIFE
Advantages
1. Very respectful to husband
2. Very respectful to in-laws
3. Most times educated
4. Yielding and submissive
5. Likes sex.

Disadvantages
1. Would most likely have had one kid for
another man before you and after you.
2. Will most likely cheat at 65% with one Uncle or
Oga at office.
3. Possibly give you another man's kid in
between your kids
4. Tells her mother or sisters or friends
everything.
5. May jazz you up.
6. Will fill you with pepper, palm oil, assorted and
amala.
7. Probably will marry another man even if you
split at 60 years of age.
8. If she makes more money than you, or you
make less her, the uncles will finally start to drop
her off in front of the house with a peck.


IGBO WIFE
Advantages
1. Loyal to her husband
2. Gives kids good nourishing food with
vegetables and many spices.
3. Is very clean.
4. Is ready to fight anybody alongside her
husband and break their head or even fight while
the husband watches.
5. Even if her husband leaves her at 30, she has
only a 3% chance of remarrying after kids.

Disadvantages
1. Very disrespectful to everyone including you.
2. After breaking the neighbours' head will one
day break yours.
3. Only regards you as a man if you have money.
4. Views love as spending power.
5. May not really love you but will marry you
because you are ready and her real lover isn't.
6. Will spend every dime of yours without
touching hers
7. Does not tolerate your inlaws and disrespects
them.
8. May stop shagging you after 35.
9. If she makes more money than you, or you
make less her, she will become VERY
insubmissive and her family will finally remember
what a useless in-law you are.
10. When there is a fight, her brothers will come
and join to break your head.


EDO WIFE
Advantages
1. Cannot cheat on you
2. Can also cook good food.
3. Looks after kids and you.
4. Very respectful
5. Most times well endowed.
6. Very thrifty
7. Always has one brother or sister in europe to
bail you out in hard times.
8. Does not leave you even if you are semi-dead,
quarter dead or dead.
9. If she makes more money than you, or you
make less her, she remains loyal but after
building 10 houses you have no idea about.


Disadvantages
1. May have signed your death day the day you
were married.
2. You have a 98.75% chance of dying before
her.
3. Eventually you die and she becomes the
landlady.
4. Or she may have built her own house while
you guys were still staying in a room and parlour
without you knowing.
5. May have done runs before you got married.


HAUSA WIFE
Advantages
1. Everything good.

Disadvantages
1. If you are not a muslim, no chance.
2. You may eventually have to show her were
the promised land is.
3. Even when you do, it must be in the dark.


EFIK WIFE
Advantages
1. She will load you with so much good food that
every other thing is poison
2. She will also f.... your brains out.
3. Also loyal and respectful but will also break
your head if you misbehave.
4. Very clean.

Disadvantages
1. She will f.... your brains out finally.
2. She will either be very slim, have an extremely
large arse or be very short.
3. You will share shaving stick as she may have
facial and chest hair.
4. Even if you wanna leave her, the f**king and
feeding will keep you coming back for more.


URHOBO WIFE
Advantages
1. If you like to drink, you'll never be short of a
partner.
2. She does anything to take care of her kids.
3. She's used to her working while you get high
at home.
4. Loyal and respectful.
5. Cannot cheat on you
6. Can also cook good food.
7. Tolerates in-laws

Disadvantages
1. She'll short your booze ration.
2. She respects you with serious warning.
3. Very sharp and wise to take action.

WiseBully:
Don't ever mention me with such preposterous line of warning!! As I stated earlier, I reaffirm that they (four of them) are false preachers operating by satanic powers and for their bellies.

you are insane...

WiseBully:
Chris and Joshua are both workers of satan. But the weak-spirited believers will never discern nor care to enquire directly from the Holy GHOST. They are the two most successful false preachers in Nigeria followed by Suleiman and Okafor.

Modified.

Lest I forget, there is another one who parades himself as a god in Warri. He calls himself Saint DKJ. That dude worships an image which he has successfully and deceitfully portrayed as Jesus Christ over the years.

Christians be wise!!! The days are drawing to a close! Seek the Holy GHOST, this is the only way by which you can escape the humanly indiscernible dissimulation of false preachers of the last days.

May God have Mercy on you,You no get fear abi?you dare mention Apostle johnson Suleiman,U really need mercy,,,If u don't have evidence of them been fake,then keep Shut.

if you are not dead,you are not done! Each new day God brings is a fresh opportunity to make progress in life and attempt new things,regardless of the pains,losses and regrets of yesterday.so dear friend,get up,get out... make something happen! Your generation awaits your results,not your stories or excuses. You have just one life to live, make it truly count! You can start late and still be the LATEST. Your day is blessed indeed!

OPEN LETTER TO LASSA FEVER Dear Lassa baby,First of all, ur fada! Now, when Bird flu came, we were told to forsake chicken, we reluctantly obeyed. When Sister Ebola came, we were told to forsake bushmeat, we obeyed. And now u, u jst came & without the fear of God in u, u said we shld forsake garri Garri ke? Iyalaya lassa! Do u know how helpful Garri is to Nigerians especially Nigerian students? Honestly, if Nigerians student swear for u, ur tenure no go last reach anoda 1 week. Nonsense!

VickyRotex:
Effect of smoking Osogbo weed in the morning.

,lol very funny

Once Upon Time There live A Witch and Wizard Unfornately,One day they died.... . . . . . . ....... ... . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . What are u Scrolling down for?? I said dey died....story don finish na Abi death get Part 2??

Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.

Oh Nigeria, My mother's land,,46b naira?with all this fraud and money looting in Nigeria, oh God help this country not to collapse. Please God destroy this whole world,make everybody start afresh,create new Adam and eve,and give all nairalanders the right to make choice of their country,I know say many of us no go chose Naija.Bleep UP COUNTRY, WITH Bleep UP LEADERS.Oh Nigeria, My mother's land,,46b naira?with all this fraud and money looting in Nigeria, oh God help this country not to collapse. Please God destroy this whole world,make everybody start afresh,create new Adam and eve,and give all nairalanders the right to make choice of their country,I know say many of us no go chose Naija.Bleep UP COUNTRY, WITH Bleep UP LEADERS.Oh Nigeria, My mother's land,,46b naira?with all this fraud and money looting in Nigeria, oh God help this country not to collapse. Please God destroy this whole world,make everybody start afresh,create new Adam and eve,and give all nairalanders the right to make choice of their country,I know say many of us no go chose Naija.Bleep UP COUNTRY, WITH Bleep UP LEADERS.

What is the name of the psychologist that said all This?Rubbish post