Old-school service is alive and well at the Plaza: High tea treats are served in brass birdcages, tuxedo-clad bellman whisk away luggage to gilded suites, and chefs bear toques that tower above their heads.

But in the age of Amazon Prime—when we all want everything now—what is it really like blending vestigial aristocratic assistance with light-speed wish fulfillment?

In order to properly find out, I accepted an offer from New York’s iconic Plaza Hotel to join its team of butlers, a coterie of 10 servicemen (and one woman!) who trot around the property’s 20 floors day and night, making sure 282 rooms’ worth of guests feel like royalty.

For two hot days in July 2017, I raced around with a team that, like the city itself, seemingly never sleeps—hearing tales of the trade from the department’s director, Emma, and serving guests alongside some of her most experienced staffers.

This is an elite crew: It bears a combined 147 years of experience, and many have served as house managers for affluent families all over the world. Me? I got express credentials for my two-day residency—unprecedented for the Plaza.

They included a detailed orientation of the property and a uniform fitting for my hotel-issued attire (gold-plated name tag and all).

Over my short tenure, I delivered laundry to Middle Eastern princesses and fetched lobsters out of wishing wells—and listened to colleagues delight in the oddities of their jobs, from fielding requests for Viagra or comforting a weeping woman over spilled blueberries.

Serving the world’s rich and famous, it turns out, plumbs the depths of an alternative universe that readily embraces the absurd without even batting an eye. And that was only the beginning of what I learned.

Here, 12 secrets to keep in mind the next time you check into a five-star hotel.


One VIP List You Don’t Want to Be On...

Hundreds of butler requests roll in each shift—mostly to fill ice buckets, handle laundry, and shine shoes. Complimentary packing and unpacking requests are also common, though they can turn into day-long affairs. A surprising number of international guests will purchase adjoining suites: one to sleep in and one for their luggage.

By matter of corporate philosophy, every guest should feel like a VIP at the Plaza. But a hierarchy still exists among those who check-in at reception. At the top of the pyramid are kings, queens, and heads of state—or as butlers call them: V1s, and they are ever-present on the property.

Then come high-payers, long-stayers, guests booking a large block of rooms, and recognizable celebs. They’re called DVs, or distinguished visitors. On the bottom of the VIP totem pole is the SA group, known complainers or otherwise difficult and demanding guests who require “special assistance.”


Bath Time Can Be Awkward...


Another common request for the butler team is to draw baths with a signature blend of salt, oil, and roses—especially during the colder months of the year. But the butler’s duties aren’t necessarily complete once the tub is full. Bal, the Plaza’s resident bath-time specialist, said that 95 percent of the time, he’s asked to remain within arm’s reach as bathers suds-up. Most of them, he said, want more hot water or scented oil, and are happy to keep him on hand while they relax in the nude. He is often left to pull the plug from the drain, elbow-deep in leftover water.

It gets weirder. One of my butler colleagues at a previous job in London was asked to ship in and set up a guest’s order of fresh oysters in the bathtub. He diligently filled the tub with ice and laid the oysters out, only to discover that the guest wanted the oysters placed in the tub around his soaking body. Eventually, the client seemed satisfied: He purchased the room next door for his butler so he’d always be near.


Hotel Guests Are Pretty Predictable …


The Plaza’s guest relations team researches everyone staying at the hotel on an individual basis, using a variety of social media tools. (The favorite is LinkedIn.com.) Butlers, on the other hand, often use past trends to size people up on the spot. They send electric kettles to the rooms of arriving Asian guests, who often bring noodles from home to cook in their suite. They keep an eye on the minibar when tending to Americans in their thirties and forties—they’re considered the partiers of the hotel, likeliest to plow through the booze. Middle Eastern VIPs get what is called an “Arabic Amenity”—a tray of dates, dried fruit, and nuts; they tend to prefer these to chocolates, cakes, or other sweet desserts. And the butler staff knows to immediately ask Western businessmen if they have shirts or suits that needs servicing upon checking in; they’re always the ones who treble the quantity of laundry in the basement.


Except When They’re Totally Unpredictable...


Despite the overwhelming regularity of guest behaviors, travelers can mystify even the most experienced of butlers. During my shifts, lobster shells kept appearing in the fountains of the hotel’s interior courtyard. Every day, the staff would fish them out, only to find a new one a few hours later. It turned out that a Middle Eastern prince was ordering cooked lobster from room service for every meal and then throwing the empty shells out the window to land in a fountain below. (Emma asked him to stop—nicely—but pieced together the mystery only on the day of his departure.)

Another time, a woman called Emma hysterically crying “as though her husband died and she just discovered the body.” When Emma finally calmed her down, she comprehended the real reason for the guest’s tears: There was no more Kleenex in her suite, and her young daughter had been forced to blow her nose on toilet paper.


Sex, Drugs and … Come Again?...


As at any hotel, requests for drugs and prostitutes do happen—but not frequently. Bal has been asked for drugs only two or three times in his 10 years at the Plaza, and he is careful to stick within the boundaries of the law. Condom needs are another story: Mouhsine, one of the other butlers, always carries a pack with him, especially in the evenings. On being called to fulfill one such late-night request, no one answered the door after several knocks; he gently entered the room to find the two guests in the “go” position, waiting to be walked-in on.

Far more interesting than sex and drugs are the more outlandish client requests. Recently, Emma fielded a service call from a woman searching for some missing chocolate-covered blueberries, which had fallen off a window ledge. Emma offered to obtain replacements from the same brand and store, but the guest was adamant about retrieving her exact snack.

Emma and the security team trawled the hotel’s interior courtyard for hours, blueberry-hunting, to no avail. During my brief tenure, the weirdest request was for two liters of intravenous saline solution—meant for a doctor’s ailing wife, who was presumably on the wrong side of a stunning hangover.

Some requests are even more bizarre. One butler told the story of how he was asked to replace all the furniture in a suite because the guest didn’t like the color blue. Another was sent off to scout the city’s reliquaries for a justice of the peace trophy—a prize for a newly minted lawyer. Another arranged for a live tarantula flown in from Africa to be served as a meal. Of course, butlers always deliver with a straight face.


Mind the Pillowcases

Missing pillowcases can be a real issue at the Plaza. But it’s not the tourists that have sticky fingers. And it’s not hotel pillowcases that are getting stolen. At least once a week, a white pillowcase that was brought from a guest’s home gets mistaken for a hotel-issued version and is sent out for cleaning. Sometimes they’re never seen again, in which case Emma dispatches a bellman to purchase new coverings, drawing on the hotel’s coffers, no matter the price.


Christmastime: Not so Merry...

More on the story here....
http://www.soundlala.com/news.php?id=1589


stay safe be well

ur music
ur words
kontrol ur tracks www.soundlala.com

yh i totally belive everything expecially number 5

Rozz:
Stop thinking everything about ladies is money

u not?

Rozz:
The tattoos is a no no for me

but if he spend on u its a yes yes shey

b well

na wow oh, cants yahoo boys ever make money and lay low?

MrBrownJay1:


so the scammer used YOUR Skyhighweb NL profile, to post a begging story with your bank account to scam people on NL?!?!?!?

some NLers really think we are gullible donkeys, i swear!

this my full name


ohonsi ehisuoria david
0014161242
gtbank savings

dont know how but am as surprised as u are

MrBrownJay1:


why are you lying, here is below one of your post with the scammers bank detail:

dude am looking @ it also my self.

alot my thread is bout news and my music production am just seeing this as u are, else i will b laughing n saying inside


and how we not sure one this yahoo mod are at work here.

dont they have the access to change reedit most.
look @ all the ads piling up bout bit coin n complains.

bro easy with d insult

MrBrownJay1:


BWAAAAAAH, at least you should crawl back in your criminal cave in silence, instead of trying to make yourself look like a honest person.

on June 18, you made a post begging for malaria drug with that account:

https://www.nairaland.com/5927496/lady-okene-here#90793676

but a week before, Adams19 used the same bank account to beg for the same malaria drug (and he was even quoted on the same day, so couldnt have been edited later than May 9th):

https://www.nairaland.com/5914394/pls-family-me#90486488

Spolo received money on "your" supposed account by a NLers named 15ssDRIVE on may 18th:

https://www.nairaland.com/5857088/1k-10-people-eid/3#89678913

on that same day/thread, that same NLers also sent money to Spman on the other account you guys are using:

https://www.nairaland.com/5857088/1k-10-people-eid/3#89678849

on May 3rd, Spolo was also credited money on "your" account, from a NLer named OmarAdebayo:

https://www.nairaland.com/5813954/1k-per-person-per-day/4#89143941

YET YOU WANT TO MAKE US BELIEVE THAT THIS IS YOUR ACCOUNT BUT YOU ARE NOT SPOLO, SPMAN and ADAMS19?!?!?!?!

and why da fuxk will i will be surprised here dude

haba check my posts n thread atleast i cants delete that one

Frankicent:
Instantcoins.ng has been around for a while. They claim there system is automated.

I want to know if anyone has successfully trade with this website. I want to know before I do anything.

almost every thread bout them on nairaland as been deleted

LORDLARGE:

you keep disgracing yourself more and more
can you explain how all four abi na how many of you share or have the same account details ??

dude plz stop jumping into conclusion here.

if the slowpoke is editing his post after collecting money isnt it possible he can change his name on his post.

chk my thread or post n tell me if u see any where am asking for money wtf is wrong with u

MrBrownJay1:


here below is another bank account that this scammer is using with the exact same NL account...Spolo, Spman, Skyhighweb and Adams19 (when he gets money he will go back to edit the posts to remove the bank account number on the old post while forgetting that people quote him):

all have the same bank account...

seriously how is my moniker here?

MrBrownJay1:


here below is another bank account that this scammer is using with the exact same NL account...Spolo, Spman, Skyhighweb and Adams19 (when he gets money he will go back to edit the posts to remove the bank account number on the old post while forgetting that people quote him):

all have the same bank account...

how come i suddenly get my moniker as a quote that someone is using it to beg for money?

soooo he works for them n one of fellow Nigerian took some money n japa?



Regina BY Riskid
@soundlala
Bmd mix
http://www.soundlala.com/track_audio.php?id=1586

he is still alive

the in app own is like 80% hoe

i think say u wan talk better thing self



Regina BY Riskid
@soundlala
Bmd mix
http://www.soundlala.com/track_audio.php?id=1586

someone open face book page n call it nairaland investment n u call out nairaland? haba





Regina BY Riskid
@soundlala
Bmd mix
http://www.soundlala.com/track_audio.php?id=1586

its d dress n also unless nah olosho that's suppose to b worn @ nite for a party in a secure environment.




Regina BY Riskid
@soundlala
Bmd mix
http://www.soundlala.com/track_audio.php?id=1586

Oloki:
God we need help! let there be total eradication of corrupt leaders and their protégé!! Nigeria must move forward by fire by force!!

I weep for my country..... instead of moving forward......

God aint doing nothing.

free will

same reason will people ran to vote buhari 2wice.

same reason will people hail currupt leaders

same reason common local govt building road with sand n every one jubilate

and so on...


a young man will come out to contest same youth will say wetin e know.

please listen to my lastest production

Regina BY Riskid

@soundlala

its banging like crazy

Bmd mix

http://www.soundlala.com/track_audio.php?id=1586

President Andrzej Duda proposed to ban child adoption by same-sex couples, returning to the theme of “protecting” traditional values in confrontation of the LGBT community just six days before an election.

On Monday, the president signed his legislative proposal, which will now be sent to parliament.

“The provision should allow for better care of children’s safety and well-being,’’ Mr Duda said.

In order to take effect, the proposal would have to secure a two-third majority in the lower house and an absolute majority in the Senate.

These conditions may be difficult to meet in the current political landscape.

Mr Duda is seeking a second five-year presidential term on a campaign of social spending and conservatism in lifestyle issues.

He has portrayed himself as a defender of family values and spoken out against the right of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community to marry or form civil unions with each other.

Mr Duda’s liberal challenger in the run-off, Warsaw Mayor Rafal Trzaskowski, also said he was opposed to adoption by gay couples, though in the past he has voiced his support for gay marriage.

On Sunday, Messrs Duda and Trzaskowski will compete in the run-off election.

Opinion polls show the two politicians going head to head, with a slight advantage for the incumbent in averages of recent polls.

still jamming

halla @ me i dey here for u

The title of Rachel Levin’s book, Look Big, is just about the best two words of advice one can give about how to survive most animal encounters. In her illustrated service manual, Levin breaks down how to handle 50 different kinds of animals common in North America, based on expert advice.

Let’s look at her tips for dealing with five of these creatures and see how they stack up with what the experts say—and with real-world experience.





Rattlesnakes



The Book’s Advice: “Leave a snake alone. The bad stuff happens when people don’t. Let the animal pass. Give it a good fifteen feet. Coiled, rattling, and head raised? Give it even more room. If you accidentally step on one and get bitten: keep cool. But seriously, don’t run; getting your heart rate up makes the venom seep into your bloodstream faster. Skip the snakebite kits and tourniquets; that’s outdated advice. Try to get medical aid.



“And do your best to avoid snakes in the first place. A sunny, 90-degree day is snake weather. Skip the flip-flops, and wear boots instead. Pair them with long, sturdy pants like jeans. (A study actually proved denim’s effectiveness against venom injection.) Don’t use earbuds (you want to hear the rattle). On a mountain bike, be extra cautious.

soundlala

image

How to Survive Encounters with Dangerous Animals


The title of Rachel Levin’s book, Look Big, is just about the best two words of advice one can give about how to survive most animal encounters. In her illustrated service manual, Levin breaks down how to handle 50 different kinds of animals common in North America, based on expert advice.

Let’s look at her tips for dealing with five of these creatures and see how they stack up with what the experts say—and with real-world experience.





Rattlesnakes



The Book’s Advice: “Leave a snake alone. The bad stuff happens when people don’t. Let the animal pass. Give it a good fifteen feet. Coiled, rattling, and head raised? Give it even more room. If you accidentally step on one and get bitten: keep cool. But seriously, don’t run; getting your heart rate up makes the venom seep into your bloodstream faster. Skip the snakebite kits and tourniquets; that’s outdated advice. Try to get medical aid.



“And do your best to avoid snakes in the first place. A sunny, 90-degree day is snake weather. Skip the flip-flops, and wear boots instead. Pair them with long, sturdy pants like jeans. (A study actually proved denim’s effectiveness against venom injection.) Don’t use earbuds (you want to hear the rattle). On a mountain bike, be extra cautious.



Rattlesnakes are designed to hear the pounding of bison hooves, not the quiet roll of a tire tread. Peek under a log before sitting on it. Shake out your sleeping bag. And if you’ve got to peel off the trail to pee, toss a few pebbles first.”



Real-World Experience: According to one study, most snake bites occur on people’s hands and forearms. What does that tell you? Levin is correct that people get bit when they try to mess around with a poisonous snake.

I regularly encounter rattlers, both around my home in Los Angeles and on camping trips throughout the desert Southwest. But neither I nor anyone I know has ever been bitten. Actually, I take that back—I watched a friend of a friend get bitten on Instagram a couple years back after he picked up a snake he found on a trail to pose with it for a photo. Rattlers are typically polite enough to warn you of their presence, making them relatively easy to avoid.



Mountain Lions



The Book’s Advice: “If, one day, you do meet a mountain lion on the trail or, uh, in the city (one was spotted roaming San Francisco not long ago), try your best to look big and very much alive.

Stand tall. Stare the lion in the eye. Open your coat. Grab your kids, without bending over. Don’t run (mountain lions are faster). But don’t just stand there, looking scared out of your mind, either—that suggests you are easy prey. (Which, let’s be honest, you are.) Instead, intimidate. Wave your arms. Yell. Scream.

Throw water bottles, rocks, whatever you’ve got. If attacked, ‘Give ’em hell,’ says Veronica Yovovich of the Mountain Lion Foundation. What­ever you do, don’t lie down or play dead—­or they’ll eat you for dinner.”



Real-World Experience: Lion populations are expanding across the country. It’s pretty freaking cool to write that line. Heck, we’ve got one right here in Hollywood. P-22 occasionally shows up on a motion sensor camera and once got trapped in a basement, but otherwise the thousands of people who cross his path every day are unaware of his presence.


That’s P-22 in the illustration above, but as far as I know, no day hikers have ever actually run into him on the trails around the Hollywood sign. Want to know how to avoid getting killed and eaten by a mountain lion? Don’t turn into a deer. Otherwise, us humans should count ourselves lucky if we ever get to see one in the wild.



Bedbugs



The Book’s Advice: “Put pest control on speed dial and then ransack like a detective searching for evidence, emptying dressers, nightstands, and closets.

Bedbugs hide behind headboards and mirrors, on carpets and couches. Scour every crevice and then declutter like you’re Kondo on cold brew, and just keep vacuuming. Swap your wooden bed for steel. They can’t climb metal or bathtubs. (Go ahead: get in and curl up.) Wash and dry everything on high heat, seal the rest of your stuff in Ziploc Big Bags (for up to a year, according to the EPA), and toss whatever you can.

This is no time for nostalgia. Trained dogs can find the bedbugs if you can’t (‘Sherlock Hounds,’ as one company calls them). The PackTite Closet Bed Bug Heater System sounds like it helps, but $800 for a product that promises to roast bedbugs right off your shoes? Maybe just buy a new pair.”



Real-World Experience: Back when I used to live in Brooklyn, our loft in Williamsburg was overrun by bedbugs one summer. I had the telltale red bites from head to toe. We were going broke just trying to pay the rent, and our landlord wouldn’t help, so my roomates and I resolved to tackle the problem ourselves.

First, we stripped all our bedding and took that and all our clothes to the laundromat and ran everything through several hot-water cycles. While that was happening, we dusted every surface with diatomaceous earth and packed it into all the nooks and crannies in our furniture. We even cut the fabric off the underside of our couch and filled its springs and frame with the powder. Then we set off way more flea bombs than the square footage called for and hung out at a local dive bar until it was safe to go back home. It might have been luck, but that did the trick. You can beat them.



Alligators



The Book’s Advice: “Run—zigzag, straight line, doesn’t matter.

Alligators might be the only predators in the world you’d have a shot at beating in a race. Though they rarely pursue on land, around water, stay alert. Alligators ambush.

They latch on to prey, roll it underwater until drowned and dead, then toss it back like a tequila shot. Which means that adult humans aren’t easy eating. Put up a decent fight, and the alligator might decide to ditch you. ‘They prefer not to contend with violently struggling prey,’ says Allan Woodward, of Florida’s Fish and Wildlife Research Institute. ‘Scream. Splash. Kick. Sure, try and......


more on the article here
http://www.soundlala.com/news.php?id=1587

HuntSon:


You're in the internet age. Use your leisure period and learn the difference between sex and sexuality. Sex doesn't define sexuality, that is why p*say will never make a gay nigga straight or ass can't make a straight nigga gay!

Sex is just pleasure, sexuality is a chain of emotions. A straight guy can engage in gay sex, but will never see a guy as a romantic relationship partner or love or be emotional drawn and attached as a gay guy sees guys.

A gay guy may fck women but will never see a lady as a emotional or romantic partner the same way a straight guy sees women. Everything a Nigerian man sees ladies is just for SEX, that is why their sexual mentalities are so warped up!

If y'all that interested in this...pls read next time, y'all stressing me out ..abeg

keep telling ur self all this u hear.

if u like ass and u a man Bleep a womans ass
if u Bleep a mans ass nigger u is gayyyy
dont b adding sugar to bitter kola.

HuntSon:


Keyword you used here is "like" not "sex"

Why then are you still arguing?

ask me again

RichieMichie:

Do yourself a favor and read up on the different types of sexually we have.


And yes, many gays with internalize homophobia says that alot

yh right, keep telling ur self that okay.

u like man u a man u gay. simple.

RichieMichie:

I'm not surprised with this your comment. It's no news the average heterosexual is dumb when it comes to matters of sexually.

then u like men and women

u gay n straight call a spade a spade bro.

a gay fellow can b running around saying he aint gay because he fucking a woman also right.

RichieMichie:

LOL, Joro again. The bitch is famous for peddling lies. Nor be today she start
Now this one is the whole place smelling of pool, the last one was the wife always discovering blood in the husband's boxers . Joro knows how homophobic Nigerians love to read anything gay so they can vent their frustrations on, and boy is she giving them juicy. Mumu people



And btw, when will you guys ever stop generalizing that all men that have sex with men is gay that imaginary husband could be bisexual, pansexual and not so surprising, a straight man that just loves anal sex

nigger having sex with a man means u gay dont sugar coating it if u love to Bleep ass Bleep that of a woman ur comment from top to buttom doesnt even make sense