₦airaland Forum

no be eba?

Ayobami195: Im in jos

cool

Alveoli: Hey im from plateau

wow!!! Nice.. I stay at bukuru and you?

superman

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me" "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work."
"Tripod??"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

Buying a brand-new computer is exciting but not always practical. Fortunately, you can upgrade the computer hardware on your existing desktop computer or laptop to boost performance and save money. Here are five components that can give your computer more speed, storage space and new capabilities.
Upgradeable Computer Hardware:
RAM: Your computer uses RAM, random access memory, to perform functions and operations. More RAM allows your computer to perform more tasks
simultaneously and run faster. You can boost performance by installing additional RAM or replacing the existing computer hardware with larger memory sticks. RAM is easy to replace on a desktop , but you may have to check your user's manual for instructions to add or remove RAM on a
laptop.
Hard drive: Hard drives on most laptops and desktop computers are modular and can be easily swapped for a faster model with a larger memory capacity. With a larger hard drive, you can store more programs, music and photos. You can even install more than one hard drive in a desktop computer to expand storage or back up files.
Optical disc drive: Upgrading to a new DVD burner or a Blu-ray disc drive will give your computer new capabilities. An optical drive is easy to install, and you may even be able to install multiple drives on the same desktop, with one drive as the master drive and a second as a "slave" drive.
Processor: Your processor has a large impact on the speed and performance of your laptop or desktop computer. It's also a very simple component to change. Before you choose a new processor, however, check the processor socket type on your computer's motherboard. Your new processor needs to match that socket type to be compatible.
Video card: Graphics processing units, or video cards, are for computers that handle heavy image processing in video games and 3-D rendering software. A new video card can boost the graphics processing ability, allowing you to play the latest games or use your computer as a high-definition entertainment center with your HDTV.

10 Madmen were locked up in a Chicken yard. 9 of them
started jumping up and down while screaming. However,
only one was found seated quitely at one corner of the
yard. The Doctor went towards him and whispered," I
can see that It's only you among these 10 patients who
has regained mental sanity. The Man quickly replied to the Doctor," Hey! Shhhh, keep quiet, am trying to lay an
egg!"

sod09: lag/osun

chai!! Am in jos o

sod09: I need e5 who want to sell

where are u located?

stardragon: Using my c3

c3 is not symbian

snika: Repping here with my C5-00

nice o

hi Nairalanders, what is the implication of over taking tramadol also known as Tramol? Please share your views and experience.

cupidhero: is alive,am using nokia E5 which runs S60V3. I even visit instagram with it and download HD videos with one click of a button.

wow,, its E5 am using too

Dear nairalanders, I have come to notice that symbian phones are no longer trending like before when symbian use to be the 'main thing'. What realy happened? nowadays people opt for androids or window phones. I want the sybian phones users to indicate their experience with the phone and state the ones they are using.
Thanks.
Mods please do the needful, I use God beg una. I realy want to know if we still have symbian phone users...

na lie

hahahhahahaahhahahahhahaha

*** LOL ***
Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two! She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard
as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Hi darling", he says, "your parents
have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you have said hello to them''..

pls i have noticed that people from plateau dont show up much here on nairaland,, can we meet here to know how well we do in Nairaland?

hmmmm... Ok o

thanks op

kai,, pains

eya!!!

we has heard

is that so??

realy!!!!?

hmmmm... Congrats to over the moon crooner

sample!!!! Ekwe!!!

ok

chai!!!! Chai!!! Chai!!!

e don reach ni?

nawa o!!!!!

wow!!! So