₦airaland Forum

Dtruthspeaker:
They are the same. Eazi and Temi were also within public knowledge so, you have not pointed out and valid and substantial difference. Funny both men are even musicians and of course they are the easiest to use as theirs is just fresh and i did not expect that you would be opposing this fact.

But if you want a another example then we have Frederick Leonard and delta lady (i no know her name). Funny google still caught Eazi and Teni.

Another one is Darey Art Alade & Deola Ayeni; Naeto C and Nicole Chikwe, Dr Sid and Simi Esiri. 5. D’banj and Lineo Didi Kilgrow

You just listed five marriages. Let me show you why your list proves nothing.
Frederick Leonard and Peggy Ovire: Still married. No scandal. No public meltdown. You listed them because you assume something is wrong. Where's your evidence?
Darey Art Alade and Deola Ayeni: Still married. 20 years. Three kids. No public drama. You're reaching.
Naeto C and Nicole Chikwe: Still married. Quiet. Private. No scandal. You're reaching again.
Dr Sid and Simi Esiri: Divorced. Yes. That one failed. But one failure doesn't prove a pattern.
D'banj and Lineo Didi Kilgrow: Still married. Tragic loss of their son. But no public marital meltdown. You're reaching.

You're doing exactly what you accused me of,filling gaps with assumptions.You see a quiet marriage and assume it's failing.You see a public marriage and assume it's real.You have no inside information. You have no confessions. You have no proof.

You listed five couples. None of them came out and said 'I married for money and regret it.' None of them said 'I married for love and it failed.' You're just guessing based on vibes and news headlines.That's not evidence. That's speculation. And you've been doing it this whole thread

Dtruthspeaker:
Name one stereotype that is born out of laziness?

Gladly.
'Women can't drive.' Born out of laziness. It's easier to repeat a joke than to look at the data showing women have lower accident rates than men in many countries.
'All men are cheaters.' Born out of laziness. It's easier to generalize than to admit some men are faithful and some women cheat too.
'Rich women never marry down.' Born out of laziness. It's easier to say 'never' than to name the exceptions and ask why they exist.
'Yoruba people love money.' Born out of laziness. It's a stereotype that ignores the millions of Yoruba people who aren't driven by money.
'Igbos are greedy.' Born out of laziness. It's a stereotype that ignores the millions of Igbos who are generous and community minded.

Stereotypes are mental shortcuts. They save you the work of thinking. That's laziness.
Now name one that isn't

Dtruthspeaker:
Oh, so when people were filling the gaps with tuface and Natty, it is because we all lived with them privately, abi?

You're comparing two different things.
Tuface and Natasha: Both parties went public. Tuface himself posted. Natasha responded. There were videos, statements, interviews. We didn't fill gaps,we watched a public meltdown in real time.
Mr Eazi and Temi: They posted a wedding. They posted a pregnancy. Then they went quiet. That's not a public meltdown. That's privacy. You filled those gaps with your own assumptions.One couple showed you the fire. The other just stopped posting. You can't treat them the same.

You keep using Tuface and Natasha because it's the only example you have. But it proves my point, not yours.A public fight is not the same as a private silence. Learn the difference

Dtruthspeaker:
Stereotypes are born out of the fact that man is a creature of habit and apparently your secret wish/desire to marry a richer woman would not let you see.

Anyway, enjoy your denial and wishes but note they always expire

You're still not answering the point. You're just repeating your assumptions and calling them facts.
Stereotypes are also born out of laziness. It's easier to say 'rich women never marry down' than to admit some do and you don't know why.
· 'Your secret wish to marry a richer woman.' You don't know me. You don't know my wishes. You're projecting again. 'Enjoy your denial and wishes but note they always expire.' That's not an argument. That's a parting shot from someone who ran out of points.

You brought stereotypes. I brought nuance. You brought assumptions. I brought reality. You brought bitterness. I brought balance.You lost this exchange the moment you started telling me what I wish for. That's not debate. That's desperation.Enjoy your rulebook. The rest of us will live in the real world

Dtruthspeaker:
Did Eazi, not already happen even before tuface's own?

And, wow, believing this is so important to you even though not one man has come to boast about his success.

Anyway, enjoy your castles in the air.

You're still doing the same thing. You used Eazi as an example. I said you can't know what's happening privately. You're now asking if Eazi didn't happen before Tuface like that proves your point.It proves nothing. Two public relationships.Two public narratives. Two private realities you know nothing about.

'Not one man has come to boast about his success.'That's the point. Men who marry for money and win don't boast. They don't need to. They're comfortable. They're quiet. They're living. The only ones who talk are the failures and the spectators like you who assume failure is the only outcome.
I'm not the one building castles. I'm the one saying, let men speak for themselves. You're the one filling gaps with speculation and calling it truth.

You have no story. You have no evidence. You have assumptions and bitterness. That's not an argument. That's noise.Let the men who actually lived it speak. You've said enough

Stephen0mozzy:
😂😂😂😂😂😂
You wan impress her na. You dash girl wey nor be your babe money without her asking. Of course she'll "act" like 15k is not a big deal to her.

Let's try something. Send your guy 5k, say make e take guide. Your guy go regard you like say na million.... You know why, him know say na from your heart.

But the ingrateful girl knows/feels you wan off paent. Yo gast send #150k for dinner.

You sent her ₦15,000 for breakfast and all you got was 'good morning thanks.'

You're not concerned about her gratitude. You're concerned about her interest. If she was excited, you'd feel validated. The dry reply tells you she's not into you at least not the way you hoped.
'I'm not asking her out' but you sent 15k. Men don't send 15k to women they don't want. You're lying to yourself. You wanted a reaction. You wanted her to see you as generous, valuable, maybe even a potential partner. You got nothing back.Yoruba culture expects proper gratitude. Yes. A Yoruba girl raised well would say "Ẹ ṣé gan" or "Thank you so much, God bless you." A dry "thanks" is cold. But here's the thing.She doesn't owe you a performance. She gave you what she felt. And what she felt was "okay, thanks." You're looking for reciprocity from someone you claim you're not pursuing. You sent money to a girl you're not dating, expecting a certain level of appreciation. That's not generosity. That's transactional giving disguised as kindness.

If you're not asking her out, you shouldn't be sending 15k. If you are interested, stop pretending you're not and make your intentions clear. Either way, her dry reply told you everything. Believe it.Stop sending money to women who don't match your energy. Send it to your mother instead.

Dtruthspeaker:
You think rich women EVER want to marry a man they are richer than?

NEVER.
Aladdin dey deceive una if not you would have known that no rich woman would ever marry a man she is richer UNLESS

1) she is the hated and rejected one of the family.

2) she is the uglyest girl and the one who the family is ashamed of having

3) the baddest girl of the family who none one in her class of rich people would ever ever marry because everyone knows her story for she has done it all, drugs, abortion, 2somes, lesby, clubs, sex tapes etc)

4) Then today's fulfilment of the prophecy that women would not be able to able to marry, is what is causing this.

So, rich girls are always aware that poor men want to use them to come up and her friends and family would laugh at her for marrying downwards, so, if she's not in those above listed conditions, nothing for any poor man and this is just your wish talking.

And ehen, i think you are thinking that because she gbenshed you, you can hope to marry her. That is a joke. A rich girl can like you enough to date and gbensh BUT, SHE WILL NEVER EVER MARRY YOU.

It is a law, so lose hope, none worked and no one will ever work.

A gold digger will never allow the poor to come and dig her own gold. Shebbi phyna or so just said so last week?

Guy, there is no middle ground here or any success. If there was, you no know say man must boast?

If, he can't boast it's because he has not yet won

You just wrote a whole essay based on assumptions, stereotypes, and bitterness.
1. 'Rich women NEVER marry men poorer than them.' False. It happens. Not often, but it happens. And when it does, the man is usually not a loser he's someone with value: status, looks, charisma, potential, or all of the above.What rich women don't marry is a man with nothing to offer. No ambition. No frame. No presence. No future. If you're broke AND aimless, you're right she won't marry you. But if you're broke and building, that's different.

2. 'Only ugly, rejected, or damaged rich women marry down.'
Insulting to women. You're saying a rich woman who marries a poorer man is automatically desperate. That's not truth. That's your cope.

3. 'A rich girl can date you but never marry you.'
Sometimes true. Sometimes false. Some women date for fun and marry for stability. Others marry for love, connection, and compatibility regardless of income.

4. 'Gold digger will never let the poor dig her gold.'
True. A gold digger protects her gold. But not every rich woman is a gold digger. Some are just rich.

5. 'If there was a success story, the man would boast.'
False. Real men don't boast about their marriages. They live them. The loudest men are the ones with the least to show.

Rich women marry men who add value. Money isn't the only currency. Status, confidence, loyalty, intelligence, emotional intelligence,and physical attractiveness all matter.If you have nothing to offer, no woman rich or poor will marry you.That's not about money.That's about value.Stop projecting your bitterness onto every rich woman. Some marry down. Some marry up. Some marry across. It depends on the woman, not your rulebook.

You sound like a man who's been rejected and now needs to believe no one else can win either. That's not truth. That's pain talking

Dtruthspeaker:
Remember, there was noise and then they married and there was silence... And then boom! Mr Easi shows us his food. And then silence again.

Guy, we can fill in the gap exactly as people did for uncle Tuface and Nat girl. And you can see, same thing is playing out

You're doing exactly what you accused me of assuming.
'There was noise, then silence, then boom, then silence again.' That's your interpretation. You don't know what's happening. You're filling gaps with speculation.
'Same thing is playing out with Tuface and Natasha.' Different people. Different relationship. Different dynamics. You can't use one couple's public drama to predict another couple's private reality.
'We can fill in the gap.' No. You can guess. You can assume. You can project. But you cannot know.

Silence doesn't mean suffering. Some couples are quiet because they're happy. Some are quiet because they're private. Some are quiet because they're falling apart. You don't know which one it is.
· Public noise doesn't mean truth. Social media is a highlight reel. You see what they want you to see. Not what's real.
· You're not in their bedroom. You're not in their arguments. You're not in their quiet moments. So stop pretending you know.

This thread is for men who want to share their stories. Not for you to speculate about celebrities you've never met.If you have a story, tell it. If you don't, let others speak

Dtruthspeaker:
You clearly have carried up your denials again as you forget that mr Easi's life and gist with Teni used to be on the news regularly before they eventually married. So every reasonable person can see where he is coming from and where he was heading to

You're right. Mr Eazi and Temi Otedola's story was public. Their engagement, their multi country wedding, the pregnancy,it was all over the news.

But here's the thing.We saw the wedding. We didn't see the marriage. Nobody knows what happens behind closed doors.We saw the pregnancy announcement.We didn't see the arguments, the compromises, the quiet sacrifices.We saw the public narrative. We didn't see the private truth.

The fact that you know their story doesn't mean you know why he married her. Was it love? Was it connection? Was it access? Was it a mix of everything?

The point of the thread isn't to pretend Mr Eazi is a mystery. The point is, nobody knows the real reasons behind any marriage famous or not.And even if he married for money, that doesn't mean it failed. It means he made a choice and it worked for him.Stop using Mr Eazi's public life to shut down a thread about private confessions. They're not the same thing

Dtruthspeaker:
There is none that worked as you might imagine and the ones that worked are the ones who murdered their wives and they still ended in prison with the wife's family still getting the booty back. So, they still lost

You're painting with too broad a brush.Some men married for money and it worked. They're comfortable. They're quiet. They don't post on Nairaland. They don't confess. They just live. You won't hear from them because they have nothing to prove.Some men married for money and suffered.They stay silent because of shame. You won't hear from them either.The ones who murdered their wives? That's not "marrying for money." That's psychopathy. That's a different conversation entirely.

The point is,you can't say 'none worked' when you only see the failures.
The successes are invisible. The failures are loud. That's the selection bias

This is what happens when dysfunction is left unchecked. When secrets are buried. When families pretend everything is fine while the door is locked.

The truth always comes out. And when it does, it destroys everyone.
They need more than jail time. They need deliverance

brain54:
:::

Wetin dey wrong with the food Mr easy dey chop and how you take know say he marry for money?


People wey marry for love no dey chop terrible food from their wives?


This life talk your own... and I think that's what the op is asking. You can never know those that married for whatever reasons except they open up and tell you.


If you no marry for money just leave the story and no dey call people out.


Abi easy tell you say he marry for money?


:::

Exactly. The guy is assuming. He doesn't know Mr Easy's story. He's just projecting.Nobody knows why anyone married. Love, money, pressure, pregnancy, desperation.You can't tell from the outside.People who marry for love also suffer. Terrible food, cheating, disrespect, financial ruin. Love doesn't protect you from pain.People who marry for money sometimes win. Comfort, security, peace.Llove can grow later, or it doesn't matter.

The point of the thread is to let men speak for themselves. If you have a story, share it. If you don't, read and learn. Don't mock what you don't know

Dtruthspeaker:
Ah! You no know say na cry and suffer dem dey?

You no see the food wey mr easy dey chop?

They can't even come here to answer you.

You're right. The ones who married for money and are suffering won't talk.

Why? A man who married for money and regrets it can't admit it. He'll be mocked. He'll be called a fool. He'll be called a "woman."He chose this. He can't turn back. He has to pretend it's working.If he speaks, his wife might find out. His family might find out. His friends might find out. He's trapped.Silence is survival. In Nigeria, a man who admits he married for money and regrets it is a dead man walking.
The suffering stays silent.But the ones who married for money and it worked? They won't talk either. They don't want to expose the game.

Either way, you won't hear from them. That's the point.

Good day, Nairalanders.

Let's talk about something men rarely admit.
Men who married a woman for her money, not for love.Not gold diggers. Not gigolos. Just men who looked at their options and chose financial security over emotional connection.Maybe she had a rich father. Maybe she was the breadwinner. Maybe she owned property, had a business, or came from a family that could change your life.
You said "I do" but deep down, you knew it wasn't love. It was strategy.
Now my questions are,
Did it work out? Are you comfortable, or are you miserable?
Does she know you married her for money?
Did love ever grow, or did you just learn to tolerate her?
What did you sacrifice—respect, peace, freedom, dignity?
Would you do it again if you could go back?

And for the women reading this. Would you marry a man who married you for your money if he treats you well? Or is love non-negotiable?

This is a safe space. No insults. Just truth.

Let's hear it.

Dtruthspeaker:
You think I'm not married? Ok. It has always been said that experience is the best teacher.

If you're married, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've lived it. You've seen the ups and downs. So when you say 'marry first,' you're not dismissing the thread you're confirming it.The men here aren't anti-marriage. They're anti-pretending. They're saying,this is what I experienced. This is what I regret. This is what I wish I knew.If your marriage is good, great. But you know others aren't. And you know why threads like this exist.
Experience is the best teacher. That's why this thread is here so men can learn from each other's experience instead of suffering alone

Sirchiboy:
That girl na trouble maker.
Small girl that i am old enough to be His father

So you're old enough to be her father. That's your defense? Age doesn't make you innocent it just means you should know better.She accused me of being you. You just called her a troublemaker.So you're confirming she's the problem, not me.If you're old enough to be her father, act like it. Don't engage. Don't entertain. Move on.
You're not my enemy. She's the one throwing accusations. Let's not fight each other over her nonsense

NairaMaster1:
If you don't want to marry good luck to you. It's not by force.

You're right. It's not by force.If you don't want to marry, don't.If you want to marry, do it with your eyes open.If you married and regret it, speak. If you married and love it, celebrate.
Nobody is forcing anyone. The thread is for men who already married and regret it. If that's not you, keep scrolling.

Good luck to you too

Dtruthspeaker:
You think people do not know these things?

Marry fes. Carry your plan out and 2 yrs after she don born finish come and read this post.

You're saying marry first, then come back in 2 years. That's exactly the point of this thread.The men sharing their stories already married. They already had the kids. They already lived it.They're not theorizing. They're testifying.You think you know? Marry. Do your due diligence. Plan everything. Then come back and tell us how it went.
Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones. Maybe you won't. Either way, you'll understand why this thread exists because you'll have lived it.
Until then, you're just another person talking from the outside.

tuoyoojo:
I completely get your drift

Thank you for detailed explanation

Nice "meeting" you

Respect. That's how disagreements should end.Two men exchanging views without insults or ego.You made solid points. I made mine. We didn't agree on everything, but we understood each other. That's rare on Nairaland.

Nice meeting you too. Stay blessed

AbosedeFalade:
Sincerely, it's not funny any more. The worst thing is that the threads and its type are being created by the same person with different monikers Solofresh2 aka Sirchiboy aka Mrkc.

You're accusing me of being three different accounts. That's a serious claim. Where's your proof?
I am solofresh2. That's it. I don't run Sirchiboy or Mrkc.If you have evidence, post it.But coming to my thread to accuse me without proof is just deflection. It doesn't address the topic it attacks the person. I created one thread. If others created similar threads, that's their business. Don't lump me with people I don't know.
Now, if you have something to say about the actual topic, say it. If not, apologized right away

tuoyoojo:
I want to thank you for the point you raised and the courteous manner it was raised

Life is generally a gamble and it involves taking calculated risk

What guarantee do we have that as we go out, we would come back alive. The answer is none but we try to to mitigate the risk taking certain best to be careful so we can get home safe so that I don't come later and start blaming the road for accidents that happens

If you ardently follower of this space, there are a lot of "sticks" thrown at marriages that paints marriage as something bad, as something to be endured, as something that has almost no rewards

Whether we like it or not, these innuendoes as harmless at it may seem, affects our perception marriage by amplifying its ills

It's akin to saying that "airplanes are dangerous" and you can die when you fly without also highlighting the obvious advantages of air travel.

In my opinion, marriages fail when we major in the minor and minor on the majors. Let me explain further.

During the courtship period, it is expected that couples are supposed to study one another to know how compatible they are. A partner maybe good for one person could be completely toxic for another

During this period, issues like amicable way of conflict resolution, parenting, number of kids that would be had, finances, religion, general world view, likes are dislikes should be extensively discussed to see if you guys are compatible. However for most courtship they just move on vibes and attraction that comes with young love and if the sex is good, it blurs any potential red flags

When the finally marry and the marriage starts having issues for example, then the marriage institution would be blamed.

Am I saying that everyone who does his due diligence before marriage is immune from divorce? Absolutely no! It sure reduces the chances of divorces later in that marriage

So what am I saying in essence, I agree that some people have issues with their marriages and it is not as though I am not empathetic to their plight, however I believe such threads inadvertently project marriage in bad light and blame marriage institution for the choices that we made

This is the most balanced and intelligent response I've seen on this thread.You're right on almost everything.Due diligence before marriage matters. Most people marry on vibes and attraction, then blame the institution when it collapses.Marriage isn't inherently bad. It's what people bring into it that makes it heaven or hell.Threads like this can amplify the negative. That's a fair point.

But here's where I push back.The thread isn't blaming marriage. It's giving men a voice. Men are told to "man up," "fix it," "don't complain."This thread is one of the few places where they can say: "I made a mistake. I'm suffering. I regret it."That's not anti-marriage. That's pro-honesty.The airplane analogy actually proves the point.Yes, airplanes are safe overall. But when a plane crashes, we don't tell the survivors"Well, statistically you should have been fine." We investigate. We learn. We improve.This thread is the investigation.The survivors are speaking. Listen.The risk isn't just about choosing wrong.Sometimes you choose right, and she changes.Sometimes you do everything correctly, and it still fails.Sometimes the person you married at 28 is not the person you're living with at 38.That's not a lack of due diligence. That's life.

You're not wrong. But neither are the men sharing their pain.Marriage can be beautiful. It can also be a trap. Both truths exist.This thread exists for the second one. If your marriage is the first one congratulations. But don't silence the men who are living the second

Evaress:
just learn this today. Someone giving you their number doesn't mean they like you

You're right. Giving a number doesn't automatically mean she likes you.But it does mean she opened the door.If you don't want a man, you don't give him access to you.If he's harassing you, you don't give him your number.You block, report, or walk away.If you give your number and then spend months turning him down, you're not being harassed.You're entertaining him.You can't give access and then complain about who walks through the door.

Giving your number doesn't mean you like him. But it does mean you invited him to try. Own that

tuoyoojo:
The fact that you married and regretted does not mean others are unhappy with their marriages


Why do people feel better when they people others are going thru same misery with them

You're right. Not every marriage is miserable. But let's be honest,If marriage was as great as people pretend, why do so many married men avoid going home?Why is the divorce rate over 50% in many countries?Why do married men live shorter lives than single men in some studies?Why do men die earlier after divorce than women?
The thread isn't saying every marriage is bad. It's saying many men are suffering in silence and they need a space to speak.You don't have to be miserable to acknowledge that others are.
And people don't feel better because others are suffering. They feel better because they're no longer alone in their suffering.
If your marriage is great, good for you. But don't dismiss the pain of men who are trapped. Empathy costs nothing

Am not married by the way

pocohantas:
Marriage doesn't benefit men. So if you dey regret am and it is choking you, come out to the streets. Always remember men are the prize.

You said 'men are the prize' then in the same breath said marriage doesn't benefit men.Which one is it?
If men are the prize, why are you telling them to come out to the streets?If marriage doesn't benefit men, why are women still pushing for it?If men are the prize, why are so many women panicking about the 'marriage crisis'?
Men aren't the prize. Peace is the prize. And most men don't find it in marriage. That's why they regret it. That's why they stay silent. That's why they're walking away.You can't call men the prize and then mock them for not wanting to be claimed. Pick a lane

Evaress:
lol u don't know men. As if them go allow you rest if you don't give them your number. I just give them that to stop them from disturbing me on the road. Its embarrassing. They fit follow you from lagos to ogun just begging for your number

So you gave him your number to 'stop him from disturbing you.' Then spent months turning him down. How does that make sense?
If a man is harassing you on the road, you don't give him your number. You walk away. You enter a crowded place. You call for help.Giving your number doesn't stop harassment. It starts it. Now he has direct access to you.That's worse.You didn't give him your number to stop him. You gave it to him because you liked the attention.Then when the attention became too much, you played victim.
If a man is following you from Lagos to Ogun, that's a police case. Not a 'let me give him my number so he'll leave me alone' situation.Stop lying to yourself. You gave access. You got access. Own it

Madrid should win if they are really serious this season

Riddlemark:
If my club no sack Carrick then it will be a long season for us.

Even if they sack Carrick I don't think any manager will just come in fix things magically

This made me remember I lady who rejected my proposal and still stalked me for months

Kalulu44:
A waste of time of what exactly

She obviously wasted her time

The society and world at large favors the female gender in a lot of ways.The way they are human is the same way we are human so,why can't the same rules be passed to all humans?
We humans are the architect of our own problems.So that is the way it would always be for life
But now that things are like this, I would advise any man getting married to be financially buoyant in the first place, do your best and leave the rest
Do kill yourself because of one woman that will later tell you "did I force you to do it?"

Stephen0mozzy:
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Rest.

You too, rest

If you don't want to marry at least have kids