MRBrownJ: it will be best to explain all of this face to face, so you can see his reaction. as for this discussion making you look desperate, it wont, it will make you look determined about how you desire to be treated in this r/ship... and if he decides that he doesnt want to be with you, then so be it. but dont settle for less and be treated in a way that you wont desire, just to be in a r/ship that you ultimately wont appreciate.
this r/ship is very new and, as much as you must deal with your insecurity/jealousy issues, he MUST understand right away how you desire to be treated, in order to have any chance of success here. let him know that it is NOT ok to refer to you as "someone" etc.
staples darling, you aren't going crazy. Your instincts may be working into overdrive, but you might definitely be on to something. I think it's a red flag when le boo refers to you as 'someone' and right under your nose too. It's also worse when he says it to someone whom he knows has feelings for him...
That excuse he gave about him wanting her to get off the phone fast doesn't quite fly with me. Saying I'm going to see my babe would have even done it faster in my opinion...
Don't do anything rash yet though. Wait it out and observe him very subtly. If you notice any other thing that seems off, then let him in on all your reservations without mincing words. In the meantime, live, love and laugh. Someone cannot come and go and die on top man matter biko. Life is too damn short
I'm still pissed at the whole thing till now,I'll just try to keep to myself and reduce communication. thanks
dauntless15: he isnt all over your business asking questions upandan, it means he doesn't suspect you, why cant you reciprocate this gesture and give him the benefit of the doubt.
being a guy i dont think he will even disclose info concerning the girl if he's cheating, infact he will avoid all questions leading that way.
you have trust issues and you feel insecure, pestering him every now and then and probing him always will make him bored of your over possessiveness and he might consider looking elsewhere, just chill out you're are just being naive and paranoid.
BrideOfDracula: What, are you scared of losing him or something? Your BF sounds very uncaring because if something bothers you then you have all the right to queastion it. His duty is to reassure you without trying to make you feel bad because the reasons for your jealousy are legitimate.
LOL, I say all this because I'm a very jealous person myself. Once something gets me going then all care flies out the window. He can think whatever, I don't care just as long as my questions get answered to my satisfaction. If jealousy over legitimate reasons ends the relationship then so be it because evasiveness & shadiness is something I can't let go of or deal with for that matter. What kind of relationship where you can't be free & be yourself? I honestly think you need to rethink this relationship. How long have you been together? Not sure if you mentioned it in your original post.
I'm not scared of loosing him. I just don't like it when a guy sees me as a jealous and possessive gf, that's why i was just being careful, but I don't think I can continue with the pretence. We have been together for a month and few days now..Thanks
MRBrownJ: you have to let him know how you expect to be treated, how you wanna be viewed/described etc since you have some insecurity/jealousy issues. tell him that this is what you need in order to feel comfortable in this union, and dont forget to ask him what he THINKS you are to him.
dont settle for BS because he thinks you are troublesome, tell him you are a woman that demand RESPECT, that demands that her man be fully open and transparent about what you guys have, and if he has a problem with that then he should wait until he is ready to be in a r/ship (with someone like you).
this is what YOU need, dont be afraid to demand for it, and if he cant deliver then move on instead of staying in a r/ship where you dont feel comfortable in.
Thank u very much for this piece of advice. Can I have this discussion via chat or telephone conversation cos our seeing/meeting face to face again is till weekend..what do u think? Secondly, I hope having such discussion doesn't make me look desperate..
MRBrownJ: you have to let him know how you expect to be treated, how you wanna be viewed/described etc since you have some insecurity/jealousy issues. tell him that this is what you need in order to feel comfortable in this union, and dont forget to ask him what he THINKS you are to him.
dont settle for BS because he thinks you are troublesome, tell him you are a woman that demand RESPECT, that demands that her man be fully open and transparent about what you guys have, and if he has a problem with that then he should wait until he is ready to be in a r/ship (with someone like you).
this is what YOU need, dont be afraid to demand for it, and if he cant deliver then move on instead of staying in a r/ship where you dont feel comfortable in.
Thank u very much for this piece of advice. Can I have this discussion via chat or telephone conversation cos our seeing/meeting face to face again is till weekend..what do u think?
MRBrownJ: what best way there is to make a gal understand that they are just friends, than by saying:" i am gonna drop my GIRLFRIEND off in Ikeja? this is not about explaining himself to her, this is about putting value into what/who you are. if he cant even acknowledge what you guys have/are, then there is a red flag here. is he ashamed of you or your r/ship?
exactly my thoughts.. hmmm,he even asked me what i expected him to say "I wanted to tell him he should have told her he's going to drop his gf " I thought it would sound too possessive of me that's why I didn't say anything.. Moreover it's a new relationship ,just about a month old...I just feel bad,because of this little discussion we had this evening, he's already thinking I"m a little bit troublesome.. hmmmm
BrideOfDracula: Only hit dogs howl. I'm not saying he is guilty but there's something suspicious about the way he quickly flipped the script on you, making you feel guilty for asking for clarity by saying so he can't have friends or whatever. If he claims he's told her off before, then why is she still in contact asking about his whereabouts as if there's something more going on between them. Food for thought.
Hmmm..I really dunno..I don't want to over flog the issue so I don't get tagged as the jealous one or troublesome.. just confused,thanks tho.
I swore never to get jealous over anything or complain. My bf has been acting gud,and he has been quite sincere to me.today he received a call while we were chilling and i was about going home,he had plans of dropping me at home at ikeja. The gal asked him where he was "he said i'm home,but I'm going to ikeja to see someone " I didn't say anything, I got pissed in my mind cos i was tagged as "someone ". I felt bad immediately, I don't suspect him,I get jealous easily but i swore never to get jealous or complain about any gal stuff. I said I'll be in this relationship and enjoy every not without nagging, i'll believe what he tells me. But now I'm changing. I asked him about it, he said he couldn't start explaining himself to her and he wanted her to just get off the phone,he later told me she used to like him before ,but he has made it clear to her that there is no relationship. He said they're just friends nothing more,or cant he havr friends because we are dating,i told him he can have friends. I then told him that if he is in a relationship with any gal,he should tell me and not lie,he said he has told me several times,that he is not in any relationship with any other gal.i said ok. So he dropped me and left and said he will call me.now he just chatted me up saying he's going to stop at vi to eat and see a friend before going home ,i just said okk Now i feel uncomfortable,i think he wants to hangout with the gal. But i decided not to ask him "which friend" cos i dont want arguement or be tagged as troublesome or a nag. What should i do? How can i stop this jealousy feeling or whatever? Or should i have asked him which friend he wants to see? What do u guys think? Please advice me
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gossipgirlie: Good morning house! I've meaning to bring up this topic that has been weighing me down for quite sometime now.It's quite lengthy but kindly indulge me by reading to the end.I'm at a crosscroad and I need advice from Nlanders.I'm working in a private law firm and my duties as a secretary includes; sweeping/mopping/cleaning the office,washing toilet three offices share,running errands on foot to a distant place (quite) and if not get along without cab fare and use legged benz for the rest (excuse my use of that word) etc.When I was offered the job,I wasn't told that would be part of my secretarial duties.Told my sister about it and she told me to quit on the first day but I didn't because I didn't want to sit at home.She said how can a graduate of 2.1 be doing that with a 25k salary,can't they get a cleaner? I've been working there for 6months now and sincerely speaking I'm always depressed every morning I get up to prepare for work. Now,the bone of contention is,I had/have a flair for sewing.My sister got a fashion school for me and is willing to pay,told me to resign this week and a friend of the family promised to be giving me my salary every month till he gets me the job he promised. My fear now is,won't he get tired of giving if the job doesn't come on time? What next after the fashion school because it's not something I want to go into immediately.Will need to work and save to stand on my feet.Should I quit my job or not? Thanks!
Atleast ur sis wants to sponsor u on something and someone is willing to be giving u money, so I advise u quit and start the fashion school and also continue with ur job hunting aswell.. All the best!
Romance › Re: Advice Me by staples(op): 8:17am On May 31, 2016
