Haters are like crickets. You can't see them but you can hear them, and when you walk by them they are quiet - Israel Houghton

HP Printer black ink is more expensive than human blood.

HP Printer black ink is more expensive than human blood.

I know I'm really high because I couldn't find the remote and it was right on my leg, and also because I devoured an entire bag of honey BBQ potato chips in one sitting.

No one will execute a northerner, even the mighty Saudis monarchy

And then she asked for my address, so we laughed and laughed and laughed before I changed my ISP, underwent face altering surgery and moved to a secure location in Sokoto.

If I’m burning in hell, I’m taking you motherfuckers with me.

Your honor student got an English degree and is spending all their time on Nairaland.

I am shocked...and appalled...now if you'll excuse me i need to do a few unrelated internetings

if someone came up with the idea of the phonebook today everyone would freak out on privacy grounds

I am shocked...and appalled...now if you'll excuse me i need to do a few unrelated internetings

What will possibly go wrong

Any time I see someone vacuuming out their car, I naturally assume they are cleaning up evidence.

Don't interrupt my insane thoughts with your "logic"

Every human being starts out as an anus - It's the first part of our bodies to form in the womb.

Look, he js just here for the validation so like his threath and fu¢ck off, ok?

Might fu¢ck around and live post myself twerking later tonight. Wait, what?

A random chicken just wandered into my driveway...shit...and left.

A random chicken just wandered into my driveway...shit...and left.

I don’t think I fit in... and sometimes I don’t think I want to...

Why do people judge prostitutes so hard when accountants also screw people and get paid for it too?

Why do people judge prostitutes so hard when accountants also screw people and get paid for it too?

Is it called a flock of idiots or a herd?

"I've never seen a Marvel movie," is the new, "I've never seen an episode of Game of Thrones," is the new, "I don't own a television," is the new, "I'm a pretentious asshole who thinks my bad taste in pop culture makes me better than everyone else."

If the entire world smoked a joint of Marijuana, there would be peace for 3 hours on the entire planet.

If we weren’t all doing this for attention we’d write this dumb shit in a diary

An open letter.

My name is John Earnest and I am a man of European ancestry. The blood that runs in my veins is the same that ran through the English, Nordic, and Irish men of old. I am a descendant of one of the original colonists of Roanoke—John Earnest. What happened to him I do not know, and nor does anyone. But I do know that he left his wife and son, James Earnest, back in England. This son shortly after made the same daring journey across the Atlantic to the New World. From my mother’s side I inherited the blood of very wealthy Yankees—intelligent, resourceful, uncompromising. From my father’s side I inherited the blood of poor Southern farmers—intelligent, musically gifted, self-sufficient. A part of my ancestors lives within me in this very moment. They are the reason that I am who I am. Their acts of bravery, ingenuity, and righteousness live on through me. Truly, I am blessed by God for such a magnificent bloodline.

To my family and friends. I can already hear your voices. “How could you throw your life away? You had everything! You had a loving family. You had great friends. You had a church. You were doing well in nursing school. You could have gone so far in your field of study. You could have made so much money and started a happy family of your own.” I understand why you would ask this. But I pose a question to you now. What value does my life have compared to the entirety of the European race? Is it worth it for me to live a comfortable life at the cost of international Jewry sealing the doom of my race? No. I will not sell my soul by sitting idly by as evil grows. I’d rather die in glory or spend the rest of my life in prison than waste away knowing that I did nothing to stop this evil. It is not in my blood to be a coward. I do not care about the debt-based currency that Jews like to pretend is money. I do not care for the bread and circus that Jewry has used to attempt to pacify my people. I willingly sacrifice my future—the future of having a fulfilling job, a loving wife, and amazing kids. I sacrifice this for the sake of my people. OUR people. I would die a thousand times over to prevent the doomed fate that the Jews have planned for my race.

“How does killing Jews help the European race? The European race is doomed? What are you talking about? These Jews were innocent!” Every Jew is responsible for the meticulously planned genocide of the European race. They act as a unit, and every Jew plays his part to enslave the other races around him—whether consciously or subconsciously. Their crimes are endless. For lying and deceiving the public through their exorbitant role in news media; for using usury and banks to enslave nations in debt and control all finances for the purpose of funding evil; for their role in starting wars on a foundation of lies which have costed millions of lives throughout history; for their role in cultural Marxism and communism; for pushing degenerate propaganda in the form of entertainment; for their role in feminism which has enslaved women in sin; for causing many to fall into sin with their role in peddling pornography; for their role in voting for and funding politicians and organizations who use mass immigration to displace the European race; for their large role in every slave trade for the past two-thousand years; for promoting race mixing; for their cruel and bloody history of genocidal behavior; for their persecution of Christians of old (including the prophets of ancient Israel—Jeremiah, Isaiah, etc.), members of the early church (Stephen—whose death at the hands of the Jews was both heart-wrenching and rage-inducing), Christians of modern-day Syria and Palestine, and Christians in White nations; for their degenerate and abominable practices of sexual perversion and blood libel (you are not forgotten Simon of Trent, the horror that you and countless children have endured at the hands of the Jews will never be forgiven); for not speaking about these crimes; for not at

When someone comes to me with a problem , I smoke a bowl with them. Instantly , the problem goes away and I seem like magical. �

When someone comes to me with a problem , I smoke a bowl with them. Instantly , the problem goes away and I seem like magical. �

A Sars officer came to my house and asked where I was between 5 & 6. He seemed really fu¢king pissed when I answered “Kindergarten”

Laying in bed, watching that scene from the Blues Brothers over and over again

I plan to get rich by inventing an app that shuts off our ability to post after 4 drinks.

Nairaland is like that extra room that everyone has where they shove all the shit they have no idea where else to put that they don’t want everyone else to see.