Nairaland is like that extra room that everyone has where they shove all the shit they have no idea where else to put that they don’t want everyone else to see.

Sodomy is the ultimate act of degradation to another being. These grey aliens stick stuff in peoples butts, up their noses and in their peeholes. It is a form of violent traumatization and is pure MK-Ultra programming. #truth

While filming "The Passion of the Christ," 2 people were struck by lightning including the actor who played Jesus.

The contents of the Fireball I keep in the freezer is now a pile of mush because someone put it away upside down. I’m wanting to clean it up and toss it, but my neighbour says we should have Fireball slushies.
Ummm, just no.

red eyes at night, stoners delight.
red eyes in morning, stoners take warning.

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?

I can spend several hours a day trying to find my pet giraffes, the sneaky fuckers

I laugh when people are saying a male child is better than a female child.
I'd rather have a Kemi Adeosun than a Dino Melaye.

ME: How many different flavors can I sample? Haha I swear I just want to pick the best one

RECEPTIONIST: For the last time this is a sperm bank, they are not called “flavors” and we do not give samples

I’m sick of women using me for sex and food.. I’ve had enough!!!

People who feel an urge to correct other people’s grammar are actually suffering from a form of OCD: Grammar Pedantry Syndrome.

I don’t rise and shine

I reluctantly get up, I say A LOT of bad words and I hope for the best

Cool

Ivos

yes I have a poster of naked kanu riding a bald eagle on the ceiling above my bed like any other normal ivo

Amazing how children start off as orgasms.

Those lil’ squirts.

Amazing how children start off as orgasms.

Those lil’ squirts.

The reason ivos have criminal genes is to remind nigerians we're Nigerian too

Can we just embrace everybody's typos, spelling and grammar mistakes. Instead of being dicks about it.

Me trying to understand how is this news

I’m restarting my life from the last saved checkpoint

Yaoundé

For those of you that are trying to suggest a different type of alcohol to me to replace my beer addiction please don’t do that. I’m trying to find a healthy way of coping with this change & I’m 100% sure switching to more alcohol isn’t going to help.

For those of you that are trying to suggest a different type of alcohol to me to replace my beer addiction please don’t do that. I’m trying to find a healthy way of coping with this change & I’m 100% sure switching to more alcohol isn’t going to help.

More grease to your elbow
Today a client asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him I saw a movie, and he belittled my movie choice and asked if I'm retarded. He asked me if my girlfriend ever questions my intelligence based on my lack of intellectually engaging date choices. I left feeling so small.

If you have a dog named Kanu, and you get another female dog, do you really have a choice but to name her
Uchechi Okwu?

If you have a dog named Kanu, and you get another female dog, do you really have a choice but to name her
Uchechi Okwu?

Why we chose Abba as PDP governorship candidate in Kano

banom:


my brother his prediction tire everybody. i went to read more on the guy and i saw he even predicted Ajax win Real Madrid 4-1. na that one even shock me pass man u own.

he predicted many things with 100% accuracy

BETWEEN ATIKU & THE ELECTION TRIBUNAL.

Tribunal : Atiku, did u win ur own polling unit?

ATIKU: No my lord.

Tribunal : Did u win the polling unit in ur village Jada, Adamawa State?

Atiku: No my lord.

Tribunal : Did ur godfather (Obj) win his polling unit?

Atiku : No my lord.

Tribunal : Did ur financier (IBB) win his polling unit?

Atiku: No my lord.

Tribunal : Did ur spokesman ( Buba Galadima) win his polling unit?

Atiku : No my lord.

Tribunal : Did one of ur strongest backers ( Kwankwanso) win his polling unit?

Atiku : No my lord.

Tribunal: In all honesty, do u think votes in any of these aforementioned polling units were rigged, since u and these mighty men were present there?

Atiku : No my lord.

Tribunal : So why did u bring us here? Do u think we came here to play? U couldn't win ur polling unit, the one in your village and u are crying that u won the election?
If u couldn't win the election in polling units, where u are so sure , how then can u claim to have won in other units far from you? In fact, u just wasted our time...Please, u have no case. Get out of our court...U are a sore loser..

Atiku: Thank u my lord. Am sorry. Just that they told me I will win.

Tribunal : Who told u?

Atiku: My lord. It is all these prophets oo.

Tribunal : OK, go and meet them and collect ur money.. haba , can't u just use ur head? If u or your supporters believe that u and all ur gladiators lost their polling units and yet won the elections, then something must be wrong with u..This is why our education is going bad, because simple logic our children cannot put together..

Tribunal : CASE STRUCK OUT...No case submission.. All rise..

So juju is real

Nayo08:
He had a vision of the match ni

it's creepy

Is this just a calculated prediction or juju. i don't believe juju real thou