₦airaland Forum

The Good God?

Angrily chased Adam and his stubborn wife out of the Garden

OR in love, made them clothes and removed them from the Garden for a good purpose.

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Made Sarah barren so Abram or Abraham (whatever his name is) could listen to Him.

OR counted Abraham righteous, and to Him the promise of the seed Jesus was made.

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Angrily poured rained on the earth, so He could have peace.

OR delivered those (Noah and his small family) who trusted in Him.

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In a wave of anger, caused the ground to swallow the annoying Israelites.

OR with love and patience, He kept leading them through the wilderness, eventually to the Canaan He promised them.

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In rage He pulled down the walls of Jericho, and crushed the people.

OR in His mercy preserved the very harlot who did business on the city wall.

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In wrath, sent an evil spirit to the proud and stupid Saul.

OR for the sake of His people, anointed another king with a Shepherd heart - the small boy, David.

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Threw Jonah into the belly of the big hungry fish.

OR for the love of Nineveh, did all to get salvation to them.

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Abandoned Jesus on the cross, to be slaughtered like a sport.

OR for the love of sinners, He gave His son.

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In anger, will throw people into the lake of fire that burns with brimstone.

OR will spend blissful eternity with His children, who became so by faith in His son Jesus.

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You see, you can always choose what you see.

BUT when you always remember that God is Good
Gracious
Forgiving
Loving

And that in Him, there is no evil,

Maybe you will see from the right side.

Eirene!

I am an extern here in Port Harcourt.
I am a guy.
Today is just so boring.
Who knows of any interesting place to visit?
Please.

If I Be President

The market will sprawl with red tomatoes and yellow bananas

The street will dance with loud good music and joggling beats

The children will drown in the torrential blessings of the generous sky

The aged will chatter happily like cutlery bathing in the sink

If I Be President

We will not gallop like horses on dusty ranches littered with cheap consumptions

We will not search with stick and fainting torch for paracetamol in his own house

We will not look and cringe at the unclothedness of littluns running for the prize of a meat

If I Be President

You will have fertility to plant your seed and have a green

You will have a driver to screw the machine into motion

You will have the Eleganza to paint the blank pages into a beauty for the World to see

If I Be President.

slyd90:
OP how many babes do u have now

one sure bae

IamKashyBaby:


Hahahahah...What about those men with brown teeth?

See a dentist for teeth whitening

IamKashyBaby:





What do u mean by this?hahahahahahaha!BRUSH HIS TEETH?

Yes ooooo

For a sparkling teeth

How To Chyke a Bae

You will thank me for this.

Follow this steps, and bae will be yours in no time. The good thing is, you don't have to break a sweat!

1) Spot a potential bae. Spot her nowhere but in the church.

That's why you must go to church.

2) Next service day, dress well. Don't overdress, but dress well enough to be attractive.

Blue trousers. White sleeve. Black blazers, and a sparkling shoe will always do the magic.

3) Sit or stand close to her with a chatty friend of yours. This step is critical. Ensure you brush well before this.

Then discuss scriptures with your friend loud enough for her to hear. Style your voice. Use Greek, Hebrew and be very analytical.

Your English must be flawless. While doing this, smile broadly occasionally.

4) Then find a way to sit close to her. Worship with your life, but in a very dignified way.

During offering, put something fat. That's enough to show you have a good job.

5) After service, have a good laugh with the Pastor, and ensure she sees you.

6) You are done. Go home. The bae is yours!

But you've not spoken to her yet, right? Don't worry.

A wise man once said, "If I have ten hours to cut down a tree, I'll use nine hours to sharpen my axe".

Send in your testimonies.

somehow:
Google indeed, like anyone can't put shitz there.

Same way your eyes didn't see it wasn't only Google I mentioned.

suremanpatriot:
...so,who will they complain to where they are all box in a can called country

They dont have to.

These are laws the world knows about.

Besides, tourists do visit

sexiestharam:
North Korea uses the juche calendar, not the jewish calendar.

Yeah.

Auto correct wahala

kingsley9505:
You forgot to mention that: You'll be killed if you are caught watching porn.

And the Supreme leader has a large porn collection

somehow:
People pulling out "facts" from their anus.
You were there to know all these?

Don't you have Google, YouTube and Wikipedia?

LordZero:
Have you been to north Korea before?. .
Did you see these things on the country's official website?
Are the citizens complaining?

And you just made sense.
Clap for yourself.

North Korea is Impossible

North Korea is just like the Old Covenant!

The following information is so true about North Korea:

1) You have no freedom of religion! Don't even dream of it. Any mention of God or religion is forbidden.

2) There are only 28 haircut styles sanctioned by the government: 18 for females, and 10 for males. Also, no one wears the Supreme Leader's haircut.

3) Jean is forbidden. It is seen as American culture, and North Korea hate anything they perceive American.

4) There are only four TV channels, and they are all owned and controlled by the government.

5) You cannot access the World Wide Web. In other words, there is practically no internet. There's an intra-web where you can only access info about government.

6) No outside communication. Ghen Ghen! If you are found making international calls, you are in trouble.

7) Citizens work six days a week at their regular jobs. They are even required to do volunteer work on the remaining free day. So technically, there's no free day.

Christmas is banned! Don't think of Christmas tree, or lights. The ONLY holiday is December 24th, set aside for the celebration of the Leader's grandmother.

9) North Korea is not in 2017. You read that right! They are in year 106, that's because they use the Jewish calender. Casted!

10) If any member of the Leader's family dies, and you don't show pain, and mourn, you'll likely go to jail!

11) Tourists can visit North Korea, but there are just limited places you can visit. And you are not allowed to take pictures, just anywhere.

12) To make matter worse, as a citizen you are not allowed to travel out of the country. You are in there for life.

These are not cooked up facts. They are so true!

Brothers and Sisters, I love Nigeria.

nero2face:
So u really missed your BUBU's voice, don't worry so much, maybe next time when he returns from *going to UK season 1 episode 4*....meanwhile pliz go and flush that toilet, and remember to wash ur hands next time b4 typing on NL

No water to flush

Bitcoin1000:
Can we talk about something productive please









My signature is bae. Check it out

Like bitcoin?

Letter to Mr President

Dear Sir,

I didn't listen to your speech.

I was in my mother's farm struggling with the stubborn grass. This country is full of resilience: from top to bottom.

I wanted to run home to watch it on TV, but the road from my village in Orhionmwon to Benin is like a disco hall.

You have to dance all the way down for the two hours as the bus gallops rhythmically to the music of the forsaken road.

I got to Benin, and my intestines revolted. My body need to stay united, so I had the nuisance excreted. But there was no water to flush.

I had puched the ON-butten of our aged TV when I saw that light was out of the country. Nobody in my area knows when it is going to return.

So I could not watch your speech.

I wanted to go online to at least read it, but I was told there were red lines.

I hate red. Especially when it comes as blood. Like the one I saw at Ozubulu. Did you see it?

I won't be bothered if you didn't. The stream of jobless 'dear citizens' of your country is enough.

So I missed your speech sir, but I am really not bothered.

Action, they say, speaks louder than words, and I believe in you.

I am still at home, and if my lecturers strike on, I'll dance my way back to the village.

Your Dear Citizen,
Sunday Erhunmwunse

*Contemplations*

Sometimes, I wonder whatever happened to the beautiful message of God's love and grace that people now so hate and fight it.

It started as a simple message of God's love that brought healing, joy and enhanced our relationship with the Father.

But now, it's seen as a church-divider, heretic, and most appalling, unbalanced.

The message has never changed, but people's reaction changed, and many factors played a role.

Particularly from my observation and experience serving as a pastor in Uniben, I believe these set of persons played a role.

1) *The Extremists*

These guys opened the tap that could have kept locked. They blew things out of truth, and started teaching things that weren't biblical, just to sound 'worded'.

I was once among a group of campus fellowship pastors, and one said, "I don't believe in sin. It doesn't exist". My mouth could not keep shut.

Now, folks heard these so many extreme stuffs that they didn't want to hear the truth anymore. Once they hear 'grace', they just kick you out immediately.

But majority of persons teaching of God's incredible love for us weren't extremist. They never taught extra-biblical stuffs!

2) *The Propagandists*

These are most common. They kept saying, " these grace guys are leading you to hell", "they say you can sin as much as you like, and it doesn't matter", and so many others.

Of a truth, many of them had never heard 'grace teachers' say such things, but to dissuade people from listening to them, they cooked up such propaganda.

Like I mentioned earlier, of course, some guys went extreme, but just a handful. The propagandists banked on that, and labelled the message of God's love licentious.

This was and is never true.

3) *The Balancers*

I believe these guys did more damage than the propagandists. They are the fence-sitting guys.

They tell you, 'what you are saying is not wrong o, but you need to balance it."

It took me some time to to understand that these guys were never convinced of the message. They just wanted to play along, and not be seen as obsolete or not 'worded'.

Their cause to balance itself, meant that the message of God's love, grace and forgiveness was faulty.

And and you cannot balance what does not need balance. Playing along, you'll find yourself adulterating the message, thereby preaching "another gospel".

These guys seemed to have the greatest followership. Because when people were at a fix, they join their camp, and say " Let's just keep it balanced ".

These guys always put a comma where a full stop is, and this spoilt things. Whenever you teach, instead of learning, people are looking for balance.

They appeared as peacemakers, but were the real trouble.

4) *The "Respect the Elders" Folks*

Respecting one's elders is a MUST, and every believer must seek to do that.

So these folks were not wrong in advocating for respect for the elders, but they branched off the course.

Whenever you say what does not agree with what an 'elder' has said, they call it disrespect.

Now, I know approach matters. But these guys went blind on that. They considered even the most polite of approach as disrespect.

As long as what you are saying was not what the Fathers have said, you were being disrespectful. They always advised you shut up.

And nobody wants to listen to those labelled as "rebels" and "disrespectful to elders". Nobody!

So some persons moved away from the message that so blessed them.

5) *The Campers*

The division that was becoming in the church was chiefly caused by these guys.

The "I am for Paul" and "I am for Apollos". It became a matter of the preachers or teachers, not the message.

They exalted the vessel more than the content. So if the person didn't catch their fancy, away in the trash. If the person looked proud, away with the message.

They quickly picked camp, and no matter whatever came from the grace camp, it was from the pit of hell.

Funny enough, there was never a grace camp.

6) *The Quick-to-forgets*

My pain most of the time when I pastored were these set of persons.

They had my inbox filled with testimonies and gratitude of how the incredible message of God's love and grace had transformed them, liberated them from addictions, and helped them in their relationship with God.

But after some time, these same persons started cussing the same message that had so transformed them and had been a blessing to them.

They fell prey to the trap of propaganda.

~

All in all, the message of God's love and grace TRIUMPHED.

Daily, people come to the knowledge of the truth and are transformed. The opposition is however greater, but the victory remains outstanding.

If believers can borrow a leaf from the people of Berea, get off propaganda, camping, and defense.

Then get in to real Bible Study, and learn!

I always hated Joseph Prince and called him heretic. Chris Oyakhilome so annoyed me. But I went to dig for myself. The Holy Spirit taught me.

That's why I am so convinced of this. It is just about the beautiful love story! Nothing less.

PS: This remains my post, brothers and sisters. Any inappropriate comment goes home.

Eirene!

*Sunday Erhunmwunse*

Letter to ASUU

Dear Sir!

Nene was born a day after I got admission into UNIBEN. Nene now has a boyfriend, and I am still in school.

I walked into Uniben with a strand of beard. After the long strike in 2013, I came back with more strands. Now my jaw is full of beards, I don't want to come back with a forest.

Mother said she needs to carry my son. Junior cannot come if I don't have a job. Job cannot come if I don't become a doctor that I am training to be.

Sir, you have held me back for too long.

You struck me before. Please do not strike me again. The first time, I lost my crush.

Now, don't let it happen again. Bae cannot wait for so long.

Sir, I know you have issues. I have my issues too. We can find a common ground. Don't put sand in my garri, and I won't put salt in your tea.

I know you want to faint. Please just shift the date. A day after my induction, you can strike like thunder and stay as long as you want to.

Let the enemies from my village not rejoice over me. Sir, this is Africa.

Thank you!

Yours Humbly
Sunday Erhunmwunse
Dept of Optometry
University of Benin