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This is so amazing. laslasticlala |
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I took a stroll along a part of Sapele Road today, and I decided to take some photos. Nice view.
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Chikpat:Buhari's image was apparently more dented before the 2015 elections. With stories of his rash and harsh policies during his Head of State regime, to facts of how he ploughed Nigeria into recession, and disregard for human rights and whatever. Yet, Nigerians still voted for him. Simply because they were tired of the Jonathan government, not because Buhari was a saint. Saraki, like it or not, has a better image than Buhari ever had. The proceedings in the months that follow will tell. Don't be in a hurry to write him off. Be ad bothered as Oshiomhole. |
Saraki's influence and popularity is growing. Although yet to win the PDP primaries, he runs close to Buhari in polls on Twitter already. Although that's a psuedo index, but it tells a lot. It will take just a matter of time for him to ramp things up. With the frustration the Buhari's administration is melting on Nigerians, anything is possible in 2019. Saraki still has a lot to do, though. But it will be foolish to write him off. |
LordIsaac:The topic is on NIGERIA Ivy League schools, not WORLD. Stay with that. |
It's more likely a Corneal Ulcer, as a possible result of an infection and/or injury to the eye. What is the name of the medication the doctor gave to you? You'll need to see an Optometrist as soon as you can. Such is usually a serious condition and can lead to blindness if not properly managed. |
id2019:The level of fanatism is just too much. It's quite obvious PMB does not have what it takes to transform this country. |
…targets 30% Lagos ports’ cargo throughput After months of intense engagements on the viability of a seaport in Benin City, the Edo State Governor, Mr. Godwin Obaseki, has finally inked a deal with the vice president of China Harbour Engineering Company (CHEC), Li Yi, for the development of the Benin River Port in Gelegele area of the state. Also signed are the final investment agreement to develop the Benin Industrial Park with CHEC as well as the pact to develop a modular refinery in the state. The harvest of investment agreements by the Edo State government on the sidelines of the2018 Beijing Summit of the Forum on China-Africa Cooperation (FOCAC), further consolidates the existing relationship between China and Edo State and expands the scope of business opportunities for both parties. Speaking to journalists at the Nigerian Embassy in Beijing, China, after signing the investment agreement on the development of the Benin River Port, a visibly elated Governor Obaseki, said the agreement includes the building of a port on the Benin River, dredging of the river which is a channel of about 40 kilometres, and the construction of a link road to the Benin bye-pass. He explained that the Benin River when completed, will link the Lekki Deep Seaport, help decongest the ports in Lagos State, open up Edo State to the international market by serving as a platform for import and export trade. “The company we are working with is the largest investor in the Lekki Deep Seaport. The Benin River Port is going to be a sister port to the Lekki Deep Sea Port. We expect that up to 30 per cent cargo going to the Lekki Deep Seaport would be meant for Benin port,” he said. He added that the construction of the Benin River Port would also provide opportunities to export agricultural and manufactured products being produced in the state. “We are investing massively on agriculture particularly in areas like oil palm, rubber, cassava, fruits and all range of agricultural produce which need to be processed and exported outside the country. “There are companies operating in the state and are seeking to export their products. The port will provide opportunity not only to export agricultural produce but also some of the products that are now being manufactured in our area,” Obaseki added. “Another advantage is that once you create the infrastructure, there is the possibility that other industries would spring up in the state. This opportunity is going to rapidly help in diversifying the economy of Nigeria,” he explained. The Benin Industrial Park is expected to create over 170,000 direct and indirect jobs on completion, and will be home to over 1000 companies and will generate an excess of over $3 billion annually. Before departing Benin City for China, Obaseki approved the release of N700 million for the Benin Refinery project, as part of her contribution to the project. With the latest agreement with Peiyang Chemical Equipment Company of China (PCC) in China, the coast is clear for the commencement of work on the modular refinery project. According to Obaseki, his administration’s investment drive in China and elsewhere, was conceived to steer the state away from dependence on oil and set it on the path of prosperity anchored on a solid industrial base. “We are excited about the Modular Refinery project and the project is going to transform the state’s economy and position us as a hub for fabrication of refinery parts with the setting up of fabrication yard to groom local capacity in that sector,” the governor said. Sitting: Edo State Governor, Mr Godwin Obaseki (2nd right); and Mr Yang Hongtao of Peiyang Chemical Equipment Company of China (PCC) (2nd left); flanked by Nigerian officials at the signing of the investment agreement for the construction of a modular refinery in Benin City, in Beijing China. Source: http://www.godwinobaseki.com/obaseki-seals-final-investment-agreements-with-chinese-companies-to-develop-seaport-industrial-park-refinery/
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This should make front page. lalasticlala |
The Conversation of Sins 1. In the realm of realms. Lie: I'm tired of being on call every time. My legs ache from running down to serve these men. Fornication: You're a meek person, and too friendly. I don't receive so much call as you do. Lie: They see you as a first-class ticket to Hell, but me, they see as nothing. So they call on me anytime, without guilt. Fornication: It feels good to be fornication. Although I receive so many calls, but I still have some time to rest. Lie: Stop adding to my misery. I wish I can scream down at these breathless souls that we both have equal rank. Fornication: But you can't do that. Come to think of it, neither of us actually take anybody to hell. Lie: But if they begin to seriously believe I do, I will have some time to rest. Fornication: You are even lucky. Imagine you are General Unbelief. Lie: I pity him, though. He now almost has a permanent residence with men. Fornication: They call on him every second. The terrible thing is, they don't even know they are calling him. Lie: Oh...Oh Fornication: What? Lie: This man is calling me again. To think he just finished preaching against me. ........to be continued, hopefully.
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This evening, the rain was torrential. We all crowded at the juntion of Akpakpava Road, Oba Ovaramen Square, Benin. We waited - second after second - for the vehicles to stop so we could continue our brisk walk to the nearest bus top. Bright and ptyregium-ridden eyeballs flanked in despair as the cars kept speeding by, keeping us further under the whips of the ran. Then one Kia Rio was the only one speeding towards us now. We felt the tyres would screech to the halting command of the brake pads, but no. I think we all got angry at the same time. We all rushed into the road, and instead of crossing, stayed. The car came to a stop just about five meters from us. As though we practiced, we joined our hands, and formed a rainbow line on the road. We were determined not to let him pass; to teach him a lesson; we were already drenched, so we had nothing to lose, but he was going nowhere. Akusibe! For some minutes, time paused. We were not going to break our ranks. We could see him faintly through his water-dripping windscreen looking discomfited. But our minds were made up. He stepped out, and begged us to leave the road. Insults were hurled at him. We told him all we've ever wanted to say. How heartless they were not to allow us cross. "My daughter is dying. I'm rushing her to the hospital", he said. Our fingers weakened, and we slowly dissolved, but I think it was too late. When I saw the crack his fist made on the windscreen and the cacophonous shout he made, I knew the daughter was already cold. I had never felt so much heat. I don't think I ever will. The End.
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At her age, I was still chasing lizards. Amen. |
ultron12345:Where have you seen an optometrist carry out eye surgery? Most optometrist even stay away from pathological cases. We should not just spread assumptions about a profession. |
sotall:Which school did he graduate from, and when did he graduate? It is very unlikely that a graduate of Optometry with professional license will be hawking glasses. He may be unlucky to get a good job that pays well, but he'll definitely get a job, especially in private practices. Innumerable private practices lack doctors. He probably didn't search well, or just managed to graduate without knowing the knitty-gritty of the profession. Probably. |
ikorodureporta:He didn`t watch the match |
When we were qualifying for the Word Cup, Ghanaians were arguing about jollof |
WHEN I WAS A CHILD I wore the left slippers on the right leg, and the right on the left leg. I cried every morning to follow my elder siblings to school. I danced naked in the rain every evening it rains, and would shiver with cold under mother's wrapper. I played football with my school shorts, and would wash my socks on Monday morning. I enjoyed farting loudly, and laugh thereafter. I cried whenever I lost a ludo game, and roasted yam was my favourite. When I was a child........... I called Ibadan the capital of Lagos state, and thought two times four was six. I drew at the center of my notebooks, and wrote ABCDs on the pages of my textbook. I hunt rabbits with my friends all over the bush, and picking cashew fruits was a hobby. I cooked sand in a tomato tin, and made cars from cocoyam stems. I always killed lizards and thereafter buried them in shallow graves. It was a pleasure. I kept meat under my clothes, and threw my broken tooth at the rooftop so another could grow back. I put tissues inside my shoes so my legs could fit in, and slept with Christmas meat in my mouth. I enjoyed every of these memories, and I am proud of my childhood. Now I am an adult, I am still very much a child. Happy Children's Day! |
Writing is an art whose beauty is expressed by excellence and love. Writing is what I love, and a decade of doing so has strengthened by grip of the pen. 08164041005 |
HOW TO GO ABOUT DIGITAL PUBLISHING (EBOOKS) eBooks have boomed over the last decade and there are now lots of opportunities for writers to publish for a low cost by creating an eBook. There are a variety of different eBook formats – ePub has now emerged as the favourite, but you may also want your book to be available as a PDF (standard format) and an .AZW file, as this is the proprietary format being used by Amazon. You can pay people to convert your book into an eBook Format for you, or you can use some of the free services available on the web such as Calibre. Doing it yourself may take longer, but it is another way of cutting down on the costs of self-publishing. We’d definitely recommend doing some online searches and looking for forum discussions on eBook conversions, so you can get up to date with the latest tips from other self-publishers. DO YOU NEED AN ISBN? ISBN stands for International Standard Book Number and is often associated with a barcode you find on the back cover of a book.You will need an ISBN if you want your print book to be stocked in the traditional retail and mainstream online channels. Each country has its own supplier of ISBNs who you will need to contact. In the UK it is Nielsen who is responsible for dishing out ISBNs. If you self-publish on your own, then you will need to buy a set of 10 ISBNs yourself. If you publish using a self-publishing service like CompletelyNovel, then they will be able to supply individual ISBNs for you as part of a publishing package. With CompletelyNovel for example, ISBNs are automatically included on every book at no extra cost. Click here to learn about the CompletelyNovel a Plus Plan, which gives you two ISBNs. DISTRIBUTION OF SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS “Distribution is a large chunk of the niity gritty essentials that will help get your book out there.” Physical distribution If you want your books to be available in a variety of book retail channels, you need to consider how your book will be distributed. Some print-on-demand companies handle distribution in-house and many will have a website from which customers can buy your book directly. If you sell through these platforms, you will usually be able to keep a decent amount of the royalties. For example, CompletelyNovel allows readers to buy books direct from CompletelyNovel.com, as well as with third-party retailers such as Amazon. If you want your book sold through retailers, many self-publishing companies can set this up for you. Retailers and distributors will require a cut of the sale price of the book, so you will need to sell the book to them at what is known as a ‘trade discount price’. This is between 30% and 60% lower than the retail price, so it may mean that you need to set the price of your book quite a bit higher and have a much lower royalty. On CompletelyNovel, retailers take a 30% discount, and as we don’t take any commission from your book sales, you can keep 100% of the remaining royalties. See how this compares to other platforms on this price comparison infographic. Distributing books yourself If you want to handle your distribution yourself, you may need to visit each book shop individually and handle any mail orders on your own. Some bookshops will accept a limited number of your books on a ‘sale or return’ basis, so if they don’t sell, then you will have to pick the books up at a later stage and issue a credit note. It’s important to really weigh up the value of your book being in a physical bookshop. Unless your book will get a good spot at the front of the shop, it’s not likely to be worth your while in terms of copies sold vs. time it takes to complete the order. Digital distribution If you have a digital edition, there are a number of different eBook channels that you can sell into. Many have tools for self-publishers to upload and sell books through this. If you use a self-publishing service, they may offer distribution into these channels too. Check what’s on offer, as this is an area which is growing quickly. MARKETING YOUR SELF-PUBLISHED BOOK “You don’t need any previous experience in marketing to do it well.” If you want to sell your book beyond your family and friends you will need to market it, and it’s wise to consider how you’re going to do that before you self-publish. A lot of authors we speak to often let this idea of marketing hold them back from self-publishing. In our experience though – any author with the passion, creativity and drive to write and finish a book can then market it, with the right tools and information. The best advice we can give about book marketing is to throw the same creative energy you used to write the book, into marketing it. Think outside the box, keep reading and learning, and don’t give up until you really have to. You might like to read more about ways to market your book in our CompletelyNovel Guide to Book Marketing. It’s useful to start building up a network of contacts before you publish, or consider crowdfunding your book. We’d recommend that you come up with several different avenues that you can pursue, as you are likely to find that some of them work better for you than others. You should consider blogging (and which other blogs you should contact), marketing through other social networks such as Facebook and Twitter, online communities and setting up a mailing list. Consider new and traditional channels – from getting in touch with your local newspaper, to buying Facebook ads, there are lots of options. Don’t rule anything out, even if initially it takes you quite a way outside your comfort zone – it’s often worth playing around and seeing how you get on. More advice on how to start marketing your book, here. REMEMBER, EVEN A GREAT BOOK NEEDS SOMEONE TO SELL IT! It’s important to be realistic and remember that even if your book is a masterpiece, there is a lot of noise and competition in the current book market and it takes real perseverance to make your book successful. However, if you have self-published your book, success will taste all the sweeter when it comes. So, stay focused and positive but be prepared for hard work… and don’t quit your day job just yet! Self-publishing is an industry that is changing all the time. There are lots of different players out there and printers who are developing their technology in a way that is opening up lots of new options. There are plenty of new opportunities emerging online in terms of digital publishing, too. Whatever the future holds for self-publishing, it’s sure to get bigger and better! It’s such an exciting time for writers, and we are so pleased to be working in such an exciting industry. HOW MUCH DOES SELF-PUBLISHING COST? The variety of options available when it comes to self-publishing means that the amount of money it costs largely depends on how much you can afford to spend. Just because you can self-publish at a low cost through online services such as CompletelyNovel, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should aim to do everything for as little money as possible. What it does mean is that you can focus your cash on the most important aspects for you. For example, if you are on a fairly low budget, don’t have an audience ready-and-waiting to buy your book, but do want to give your book the best chance of succeeding – you could be looking at something along the lines of the following: Good luck! |
HOW TO SELF-PUBLISH So, you’ve written your book and you want to get it out into the world – how do you publish it? Here is our comprehensive guide to self-publishing and the questions you’ll need to consider. Initial questions Why self-publish your book? What is your aim? Your options – how exactly should you self-publish? WHY SELF PUBLISH BOOK? Why do people self-publish? There are often a number of reasons, but here are the ones we hear the most on CompletelyNovel: I want to earn more royalties from my book sales I want more control over the way my book looks and is edited My book is relevant right now and I don’t want to wait for agents/publishers to get back to me I want to use self-publishing as a way to attract the attention of a ‘traditional’ publisher Why not get a traditional publishing company to publish your book? A number of changes in the publishing industry over the past ten years have meant that although more titles are being published, there are actually fewer opportunities for new authors to get a ‘traditional’ publishing contract. Publishers’ margins on books have decreased considerably. There are now fewer major publishing houses in existence than there used to be. Those that do exist have focused more on publishing books that have a proven track record, or have celebrity names attached to them, so they can guarantee a certain number of sales. This leaves new authors in a difficult position in relation to these ‘traditional publishers’ and increasingly, self-publishing is becoming the best way to get your books read. Some début authors have found that they have very little marketing assistance from their traditional publishers, leading many authors to seek out self-publishing options so they can keep a higher percentage of royalties for their efforts. Can I self-publish and ‘traditionally’ publish? Yes! In fact, more and more authors are now doing both. These are sometimes refereed to as ‘Hybrid’ authors, and they are authors who might have landed a traditional contract after self-publishing, or have self-published books alongside their traditionally published books. WHAT IS YOUR AIM? This has a big influence on the right option for you. Did you write your book with a view to selling large numbers of copies commercially, or are you simply aiming to print copies for family and friends? Do you have a market already, or are you starting from scratch and so will need to build your market as you go? RESEARCH YOUR OPTIONS - HOW EXACTLY SHOULD YOU SELF-PUBLISH? “Low cost self-publishing services cut out a lot of the technical skills and time needed to self-publish, but ensure that you still have your freedom.” You’ve probably seen or heard of a few different self-publishing companies who will help you publish your book. We outline three of the ‘main’ options below, or, you can check out this infographic. Option 1. Do everything yourself One option is to go it totally alone and, effectively, be your own publishing company. This will mean that you will need to manage all stages of the book creation, distribution and marketing yourself. Starting your own publishing company has never been easier, but it’s still going to require a lot of time (and most likely a lot of money too). Bear in mind that you will need to take on (or find someone else to take on) designing, creating and producing a PDF of the cover (this requires a certain degree of manipulating PDFs and using design programs such as Adobe InDesign or Quark) and setting up all the relationships you need with printers (you’ll need to learn about book sizes, paper types and binding). You’ll then need to set up your links with distributors and retailers too. This is certainly easier than it used to be, but requires getting to know a number of different systems, interfaces and often costs money to set up. Main advantage: Starting your own publishing company offers the most freedom in terms of how the finished product will look. Main disadvantage: Self-publishing this way is likely to be more expensive in terms of time and in terms of the money you will need to spend upfront. Option 2. Self-publish using a publishing platform You can also use an online, low-cost self-publishing service such as CompletelyNovel.com to cut out a lot of the technical skills, time and money needed to self-publish, but ensure that you still have the freedom to make your book look as you want it to. You may want to source editing and design services alongside this, or you can use online tools to create your book yourself. These self-publishing services are generally linked to print-on-demand printers. Companies such as CompletelyNovel shouldn’t take any rights to your work, so you’ll still be able to pursue options for publication elsewhere. This is generally the cheapest option, because the companies will have automated the majority of the processes involved in publishing a book, and will handle the registering and distribution of the book on your behalf. Main advantage: usually very little upfront cost and a more flexible option. Main disadvantage: you may want to source expert editorial and design services yourself. Option 3. Use a self-publishing house There are other self-publishing services that cater for people who have very little time, and want to hand over as much of the technical aspects of producing their book as possible to someone else. You will usually liaise with the company directly and there will generally be ‘packages’ offered which may include editing, design and other services. These can cost from £600 / $1,000 up to £20,000 / $25,000 dollars for the most expensive ones. Be aware that this upfront charge won’t necessarily include the actual printing of the books, and it may still be largely down to you to market and promote the book. Main advantage: not much of your time is needed to get the book produced. Main disadvantage: you can often end up paying a lot for services you don’t need and it’s not normally very transparent as to who will be providing those services. Keep your options open There’s nothing to stop you approaching publishers and agents while pursuing the self-publishing option. If you can use self-publishing as a way to build up your profile, establish whether there is a market for your book and essentially build your ‘business case’, then you could seriously improve your chances. “What is vanity publishing?” ‘Vanity Publishers’ are ‘publishers’ who will tell you that you have a great book and offer to publish it for you, but charge you a lot of money for what is actually very little value. They may tell you that your book is sure to sell many copies, insist that you pay for a print-run of thousands, and then expect you to take these books and sell them yourself. Many of these vanity publishers will take the publishing rights to your book. They very rarely offer any help with marketing or sales and should generally be avoided. If you’re worried about stumbling across a publisher like this, we recommend googling the company name and read what reviews have been posted on independent websites. You can also check out Writer Beware hosted by SFWA for a list of suspicious agencies and publishers. HOW TO DESIGN YOUR BOOK COVER Look at the rest of the market It’s important that your book looks professional and the downfall of many self-published books is that they look, well, self-published! It’s worth taking a good, hard look at how the professionals do it. Study books that have been published in the same genre or subject area as yours – what do they have in common? Then go about making your book fit in. More about this here. Unless you are a very experienced designer, avoid creating a cover that looks radically different. A book cover needs to be unique, but more importantly, it needs to communicate what your book is about. Think how similar the covers of thrillers are – that’s no accident. Should I hire a professional book cover designer? It’s not essential to use a professional book designer, but some professional input can make a big difference, especially when it comes to creating something both striking and able to fit in with the current trends. If you can budget for a professional cover design, then we recommend doing so. HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN BOOK COVER Printing companies tend to have very strict requirements on how book covers are formatted. Amongst other things, you need to ensure that the bleed is correct, the right colour set is being used, the cover is a high enough resolution and the spine width has been calculated correctly. Thankfully, there are some great online tools to help authors do this without any need for specialist software knowledge. CompletelyNovel’s cover creator, for example, enables you to drag and drop images onto a template, and then it sorts out all the complex sizing and saving elements for you. TYPESETTING YOUR MANUSCRIPT You can study professionally published books to find out the relevant standards for typesetting. Most novels, for example, look very similar on the inside, with only subtle differences or embellishments when it comes to chapter headings. Learning to use some of the more advanced tools in Microsoft Word such as page breaks and paragraph styles, as well as taking time to format the main body of your text, is well worth your time. EDITING YOUR BOOK If you’ve spent a long time writing your book, it’s worth spending a decent amount of time editing it too. Of course, you will probably have been editing it as you went along, but it’s notoriously difficult to edit your own work well, so it’s worth getting an outside opinion before you publish it. Feedback from friends and family It’s definitely worth getting someone to read through your book, at the very least someone who you trust to spot the things you might have missed. Remember to take all advice from friends and family with a pinch of salt, unless they happen to be a major editor. Writing and reading can be really subjective, so because one person doesn’t like it, it doesn’t mean everyone will feel the same. SHOULD I USE PROFESSIONAL EDITING SERVICES? You want to make sure that your book looks professional. We’ve heard from a number of writers who’ve said that professional editing services have helped them enormously, and that it was exactly the kind of independent, informed feedback they needed to get their manuscript in good shape. To get the most from an edit of this kind, you need to have the right attitude and be able to handle some constructive criticism – be prepared for editors advising you to ‘kill your darlings’. Remember that professional editing is still just one person’s opinion, but if they are a well-respected editor, it’s certainly worth taking it seriously! HOW TO PRINT YOUR BOOK Bulk buying vs. print-on-demand (POD) Gone are the days where an author needed to invest large sums of money into a long print run – often incurring storage fees (unless you happen to have a large house), the faff of posting the books yourself and the fear that the books wouldn’t sell. Print-on-demand technology has come a long way and it is now an efficient alternative for self-publishing authors to print and distribute books with no upfront fees, without compromising on the quality of the book. With print-on-demand, books are literary printed in runs as little as one copy and only when an order appears. Also, as the books are often sent direct from the printer to the retailer or reader, the author doesn’t need to handle the sending of the book at all. The print price of the book is taken from the retail price by the printer, so the author should only ever receive royalties as profit – taking away the risk associated with print publishing. However, as you’d expect, buying books in bulk means the individual price of a book will generally go down. Buying long runs of your book might be a good idea if you are selling copies face-to-face at events and you have an existing client base. Find out more about the price of printing in bulk here. ....................TO BE CONTINUED Courtesy: completelynovel.com PS. If you need any HELP with publishing online, you can reach Erhun Writing and Editing Services via sundayerhun@gmail.com or WhatsApp on 08164041005. We could help you edit your work and run your online publishing for a SMALL FEE. God bless! |
RoyalBlak007:I can't stand eating this. |
Silver1996:Hello! You want to publish an ebook or hardcopy? |
Awesome |
Iseoluwani:When last did you read about him? He is no longer an addict. He runs a band now, and back to acting in movies. |
Buhari, Sex Doll, and Others Segun and Osaro over bottles of beer. "Have you heard of the sex doll? I heard it's coming to Nigeria next week." "White men are now mad. They have nothing else to invent again. I don't think it will sell in Nigeria. People have bigger problems." "That is the idea. You can't break your bones during the day, and still be miserable at night." "But I heard it's quite expensive. Where will you get such an amount to buy plastic?" "Who is going to buy? We just need it to land Aba, and our brothers there will give us cheap versions" "Hehehehe....... Talking about Aba, by now that city should be an industrial hub, churning out world class products." "Should, but this is Nigeria. The only thing our elected officials are bothered about is winning the next elections" "Very pathetic. Fashola said yesterday that no capital projects was executed for 2017 because the budget was not passed on time." "Ah, he would have said because Jonathan was corrupt na. Buhari and blame is like five and six." "To think he wants to contest again in 2019. A government that lied to us they weren't paying subsidy.... only to be telling us later....." "See ehn, that is not even my pain. My pain is the fact that Buhari doesn't say anything. When last did you hear him speak about any of this issue?" "All he does is smile briskly at the camera with his oversized Blvgari glasses." "All the allegation of corruption in his government have been swept under the carpet." "What do you expect? PDP was umbrella, they were shielding corruption. APC broom, they sweep corrupt cases under the carpet." "2019 should come joor." "What will happen. The best is that you will vote in Atiku and PDP. The same set of persons we ran away from." "When you are in between the devil and the deep blue sea, where will you go?" "There's too much hunger in the land, I don't even have strength to walk." "You're crazy! But you have money to buy beer. It's just two hundred naira na" "Eh, Mama Nkechi said its three hundred now o. The cost of transporting the crates has gone up..and nothing goes up in this country and comes down." "We just have to enjoy life the little way we can" "That's why I'm patiently waiting for my sex doll." "Don't go and marry. After the hell fire you are suffering in this country, you want to still die and continue.." "Ah, is it a sin to use sex doll?" © Sunday Erhunmwunse |
Abjay97:Bro, the last sentence of the write up should have told you it's a satire. I merely put in a narrative the happenings in our nation. |
whitebeard:The write-up is a satire, my dear. It xrays the way our politicians get votes via sentiments. Common, keep cool. |
Why I Should Be Your President My Dear People of the South, I am a Southerner, your brother from Edo State. I will stop every plan to northernize Nigeria. I am a Christian, and I will nip the islamization agenda in the bud. We produce oil, and we cannot continue to suffer neglect. Seventy percent of the budget will be for the South. I will move Kaduna Refinery to Aba. I will thrash the North East Development Commission Bill. I belief in self identification. If our Igbo brothers want their own country, we'll work on a referendum. . My Dear People of the North, I am a Nigerian, your fellow brother. I will ensure the wanton poverty in the North is dealt with. I believe in the freedom of religion. I will support any plan that will promote that. Islam is a religion of peace. Your cows don't deserve less. We shall grant grazing reserves to you all over the country. There's no reason why Adamawa or Katsina cannot beat Lagos in development. We will work on it. And I am no Igbo. I cannot possibly support the Biafran secessionist movement. Those rogues! . My Dear People of Nigeria, We will work together to move this country forward. Hate speeches do more harm than good. The media can be very misleading. God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria. . This is Nigeria. © Sunday Erhunmwunse |