₦airaland Forum

The day i opened this thread,as i was writing my ordeal down,i started tearing azzzin niagra falls. I wept and wept and i told myself it was the last time i would weep. God knows its the very last time i would weep!

jidegirl12: Hahahahaha jeezz .

You know there's such thing called panty liner.. a thinner&smaller version of regular sanitary pad.. You stick it in your panty for everyday use & at the end of the day , you remove & dispose it leaving your underwear very clean & free of womanly secretion/discharge stains if you have any

IMO there's no big deal if you wash your underwear once a week provided you have more than enough.

With panty liners girl,ur underwears would look clean and fresh! God bless the person who thought of it! Because i use panty liners,my panties are never dirty so i store and wash every two days.I bet you if these guys wey dey here fit use panty liners,them no go ever wash their underwears!

Now guys,how are many times do you wear your underwears before you wash it

Singing in tupac's voice #baby don't cry,gat to keep ur head up even when the going is tough never give up#

Thanks y'all. Forward ever,backward never!

2s£xy:
NOPE! It's not old school mentality. Her husband seem to be way ahead(financially) them in the family and no one dare challenge him, else they may not get 'help' from him when the need arises.

It's the money that is speaking, which is quite prevalent in Nigeria.

Swag can counter if I am wrong

Yes o. He is her benefactor so she is loyal to him. And again i think the rubbish she says is to convince me not to leave but she's not being forward with it. Furthermore,she wants to make me feel that her brother is the best man i would ever get,thereby eroding my self-esteem the more.

judii: Pls, be firm with this decision u have taken and u would be happy u did. Don't be quick 2give him a divorce because of the children. Seperate for as long as possible 2 see if he can truly change. If u see genuine repentance after a while, u may reconsider. By then, your self esteem would have been built as tall as mount Everest and he would never dream of treating u the way he did before. God be with u!

I stated in one of my posts that knowing the kind of person he is,he ain't coming back for us (cos like he said,he can marry as many wives as possible) .. he's God's gift to women.

But then,I'm an adult and would be responsible for the outcome of this decision I've taken already.
Its well.

Errrm,that is abuse in its purest form ni!

Gracias everybody. May God meet you at the very point of your needs IJN. Amen.

^^^^^^ i quickly told her that as long as Jesus lives,i'll never suffer with my children! My mum has made that much clear to me. Everybody's in support of my decision now. I thank God for the will to take this bold step!


All these courage,na for nairaland i get am o! To think that i didn't know this kind of forum ever existed. Na my sis monicker i dey use sef! Lol. The devil is a biiiigggg liar

Silverb: Oga frm wat i understand it applies to both.where in d bible did u get ur's frm dat d man is free to remarry?

My dear,in these past weeks,I've heard a lot from my in-laws which has made me think their minds are really twisted.

SIL calls to say I'll suffer if i leave her brother. I was quick to reject such rubbish from the pit of hell! That God is more merciful to men than women!
That my marriage is just four years and my husband can wake up and ask me to leave! That I'm not getting all the things I'm supposed to get as a married woman because my husband is still watching me to make sure I'll take care of his things when he's not here. (Watching me after two years of courtship and four years of marriage with two children) Unbelievable!

I've contacted my lecturer in school who wants to speak with the solicitor-general of my state for a place in the ministry of justice.

Your prayers are all i need.

I don tire......

Airforce1: Your mates dey born BOY, na girl u see born.


Congrats sha.

Is this a joke

See Bovi o....


Congrats.

switosman: I am married to an abusive woman & the other day when she went beyond limits, I gave it to her. I warned her; she can say anything to me, call me all sort of names but never get physical with me. On one of her mad days she held me on the neck, I removed her hand & took away my shirt then she held me on my boxer, then I gave a nod before she strip me naked.
I have warned her, as much as I hate to beat her, if she repeat that then she will get a beating. I have crossed that line I have been dreading to cross. It is my highest cure for her madness.
I think she got the message because the last time she was angry & mad. She went shouting at me & I was like smiling, she reported to my younger bros & in her face I told him what I know is getting her mad & not what she claim, she started crying. Trust me, I didn't border.
Its her choice to stay angry, unhappy & frustrated with life. I love to be happy & I will never let anyone make me unhappy.

Ah ah! She dey craze o! How can you abuse your husband,hold his shirt,boxers etc Wow! Send her home for some home training!

armyofone: Interesting thread. Susan Still anyone?
After much ad, I actually sat down to watch that show (the rerun sha).
I cried watching it then. Such a beautiful woman!


The story of Susan Still

On May 8, 2007, millions tuned in to see the story of Susan Still, a mother of three whose husband physically and emotionally abused her throughout their 17-year marriage. Domestic abuse affects 1 out every 4 women in America, but one thing made Susan's story stand out from the rest.

One Sunday afternoon in 2003, Ulner Lee Still, Susan's husband, forced their 13-year-old son to videotape him as he berated and beat his wife for 51 minutes. Susan says her oldest son operated the camera, while her 8-year-old son sat in the room, watching the abuse unfold.

During the first 40 minutes of the video, Susan's husband insults her and threatens her with physical violence. Then, the threats take a terrifying turn. Ulner punches, kicks and slaps his wife repeatedly during the final 10 minutes of the video.

After The Oprah Show aired this shocking footage, operators from The National Domestic Abuse Hotline reported that they received three times the amount of calls they normally receive. Thousands of people also logged on to the message boards to express their horror, shock and sympathy.

Some women even spoke out about their own abuse. In one letter, a mother wrote, "I don't know how to leave. I have a 16-month-old daughter, no money, no education. I don't know what to do."

After speaking with Susan's sons, Oprah says women who stay in abusive relationships for the sake of their children are making the worst mistake of their lives—and their children's lives.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Innocent-Victims-of-Abuse#ixzz2frMIJHOS

Wow! Goose pimples o

LaShawn: Hello everyone. I decided to come back. If only one girl would learn, that is one more saved from what would have been a marital life of tears and pain.
Not like I'm in the best position to advise but! I believe you don't have to experience abuse before you know you should run for your life.
And thank you all for the confidence in me...

La-la, good to have you back on the show!

justplainpaul: Aunty swagg no kwams. no problemo. dem dey hide my posts self. so i go carry my madness go another place. but b4 i go, i go recommend one book for u weh i hope say e go help for your marriage. the name of the book na THE WISEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD by Lawrence ossy okeke. try get am, he go help u well well.

Lol. Thanks. Hope say with your "madness", u no dey beat woman.

Kikiani: nt on dis issue abeg..these women are nt evn ready to take the bold step..

How do you know that

Lerin: Mine is not physical abuse but get so tensed and makes me look worthless cos I have no job,though I try my best to fill in the gaps from what I get from the pure water biz I do,and some petty things, I know that all this will change the moment I get something more tangible to do. I am a graduate of accouting and stay in Portharcourt,pls anyone who can help me with a Job should please assist cos the trauma I go tru from his attitude towards can't be explained. PLS FELLOW NAIRALANDERS help me so I can have the fulfilment of marriage. Thanks.

Check the job/vacancy section. There's a job opening in an outfit in P.H....

Na that side i dey o dey check wetin i fit do. Join me.

justplainpaul: Walahi this jenny kadry of a woman na opka weh get vegetable inside. How e take dey do her self? she just carry this oyinbo pple for head sha. but if she see where dem ask Nationality she go write Nigeria. she come here dey yarn durst about how she no dey take poo for her proferssional life. who know whether she be drycleaner for salvation army or na toilet she dey wash for yonder. any mumu fit come here come claim professional this, professional that and some mumuni for here go still believe am. if she like oyinbo policy to that extent, make she do wetin MJ do na, make she change to white. abi she no get money for surgery, ni? wetin dey vex me be say oyinbo pple no carry their policy the way she take carry am for head. oni miliki oshiere, alagolo lo siwi. if dem born her well, make she reply or quote this post.

Uncle paulo,biko that one don pass. RR dey on ground to close this thread if we mess up. Biko mere m ebere.

Thanks.

La la darling,pls come back and finish your story ok? We love you for the other thread and we dey miss you too.

Mz Vox: Dunno wia 2 start frm bt I gat 2 start frm somewia, my Fiance is such a guy that talks a lot, any course of misunderstandin btwn us, he starts yellin, d nxt fin I see him is reportin me 2 factually every member of my family, and even went 2 d extent of leakin out my secret 2 ma mum in which I neva expected frm him... But he later comes bck apologisin.. His behaviours always startles me, wat amai gonna do abt it pls?

This is the profile a wife batterer. I suggest you visit the thread for abused women. Their fiances started like that. Please watch it and if possible,quit the engagement now. When he marries you,he will have complete control over you and start assaulting you.

To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

LaShawn: And I bet if I talk of how I went back to him briefly, I'll be chopped raw. What have I even said, that it is sounding like fiction? What if I begin from A and finish at Z without leaving out anything? Well, some things are meant to follow you to the grave, I guess. So I will keep quiet.

Anyway, maybe there's another girl out there like me. I'd tell her this, get your people involved. And talk to those around you. Let them know what you're going through.
Because it took the collective efforts of my family to pull me back, my dad particularly.
Thank you for your time all.

LaShawn,pls bare your mind because this thread is all about u and a million and one other people in situations as these.

The advice i got here has made me so strong that i can even carry any abuser on my head and throw him into a transformer! Take the advice from here and walk away.

My mum asked me yesterday if i can't forgive him if he changes and agrees that i can work. I made it unequivocally clear that i want some time away from the negative energy around me. She sounded angry and disappointed but i had to tell her that i was disappointed in her. That no mother would want her daughter to stay where she's not comfortable. And it was her my husband called on the phone and was calling me names. Doesn't that amount to insult.why would you call my mum to heap insults on her daughter many women i know would tell him off and land the next morning to pick their daughters up!

Like seriously! Who is Mercy Johnson again I don forget!


Now this girl so hawt! But she has to watch it though. Those thighs and bum don dey get cellulite!

Bia,this Beverly is still wearing this hair

babyosisi: Abi o
My wedding anniversary came around and all I got was a kiss and a dozen roses
Not even a check or dollar bills like sometimes in the past
I said to my Okonkwo ,so all these years, of all the sons and daughters I bore you with pain ,I haven't reached the people that get a key to a brand new mercedes on their anniversary eh kwa.
He said I should be patient
Till when I ask
Anyway sha
Just ranting y'all
Let me see what will happen next year

By the way the roses died after a week in a vase with plant food
I showed him the flowers ,all dead and dried up
I hope it ministered to him
If those roses signified our love,they are now in the trash
The Mercedes would have still been in the driveway,all shiny and cute

Hope I made someone laugh

I no fit laff abeg! Lmao

debrief08: Her own mother tells her that women sacrifice much more for their families, in her case she is cut off from people, people who will encourage her to be better, left with an abusive husband and a mother who encourages her to endure so she could maintain her standard of living.

My darling husband always told me that I've not seen one quarter of what his mum went through with his father and I'm here complaining

LaShawn: For me, I was well loved by my parents. It was my peers that made me have low self esteem Because I was a short, fat little girl with big cheeks and they teased me a lot about that.

To the people who said what do you do to make this people abuse you, I laugh.

The guy I was dating, I was in a long distance relationship with him. One afternoon, While I was visiting my aunt, I told him my aunt had promised to treat me, her daughters and sisters that night to Nkwobi. He gave a disinterested 'ehen'. That night he called me.

He: Where are you?
Me: I told you my aunt was taking us out. We are there.
He: Who are the people there?

Me: My aunt, my cousins, a family friend and her fiance.

Him: Can you leave that place for a place more private?
Me: Ok

I leave the table.

Him: *shouting

So who did your aunt attach with you?

Me: How do you mean?

Him: You chameleon. Liar. Get out!

He drops the call.

I walk to the table and the others stare at me questioningly But I try to compose myself. He calls back.

Him: What is the name of that place?

Me; I don't know. Aunt was the one that took us here.

Him: *shouting.
What do you mean you don't know. I know all your tricks, you pretender. So you are there, drinking beer? You are a....


That was How he called me over and over till I had to switch off the phone. I toldmyself it was over between us.

Over the next three days, I was bombarded with calls and texts. I'm begging you with your mum and Dad, he begged. Please, don't leave me. I can't control myself when it comes to you Because I love you so much. Please forgive me. So I forgave.

At a point, all I had to do was to breathe to get insults.


On another day, I called him on a night call as we'd planned.
Me: Hello, Derin.
Him: What's that making noise?
Me: I have two fans on.

Him: Get rid of that noise and call me back. He drops.

I stand up to switch off the fan that creaks. I leave the other one. Then I call back.

Him:*shouting.
I told you to get rid of that noise. Don't you have home training? Don't you....

I drop the call.


My people, at a point my heart starts pounding when he calls me. I was that scared and intimidated.

LaShawn,the above scenario was how our courtship was. If u love your life,don't take him back.

RR..TG4R., God bless you plennie.

ileobatojo: @ Abused wives and girlfriends.


• Telling a victim that it is her job to hold the family together and that leaving an abusive partner is a sin.
.

I get to hear that always. The book of proverbs in the bible says a wise woman buildeth her home but a foolish woman pulleth it down with her own hands. In essence,its assumed that evry broken home is as a result of the woman's foolishness.

People asked why i stay for so long........ i did not want to disappoint my folks and even now that : I've made up my mind to leave,I'm wondering what people are going to say. But it is what it is and
I've got to do what I've got to do.

Thanks once again for reopening this thread.

I think telling the man first is ok especially if it's an issue

babyosisi: And that is just one story
There have been many husbands that that killed ther wives in the most gruesome ways ,may of those wives had opportunities to run but like the poster here decided to stay.
I hope she opens her eyes soon to see the stupidity in staying
Rubbing her of self esteem is just a minor thing compared to pieces of her body being gathered into a cellophane bag


I speak as a sister of an abuse survivor
My sister hid her abuse and covered up well because she didn't want to "disappoint her parents and everyone" until the day she was beaten up while pregnant and blood gushing from her head.
She left her husband while she was pregnant and came back home and I am very very proud of her.
The details of what she went through made me want to hurt her ex husband so bad
I hope this swag queen is reading me well
[size=28pt]
Get Out while you can[/size]

I've made my decision.I'll check my state's ministry of justice while trying out my hands on any incorporation jobs that come to me. Since he's not here with us anymore,I'm planning myself seriously and making a lot of contacts.

God will see me through.

Les: Waiting for swag...

Les,I'm here.any job for me

Donxavier: Enough with the pity party. E don do. Act on the constructive advices you have gotten here and forget the past. Start a new chapter for yourself.

Done that already. Thanks.