even though i broke up with him and told him my decision is final i want him to come back to me and tell me he wants us to try again . i want that to happen. he is my everything. he was my perfect person just i was scared of his mother because i dont want any problem.

yes he agrees but still says i should have waited to see if she would change

1Sharon:


Did you tell him, his mother was the cause?

he is blaming me for breaking up with him

1Sharon:
Any man who let's his mother makes choices about his spouse is a coward and doesn’t deserve to be married.

hmm

you are making me feel better

the only thing not perfect about him is he let his mother rule his love life

MrBrownJay1:


its obvious he wasnt perfect... if he was, you guys would still be happy together.

but where will i find someone as perfect as him

MrBrownJay1:


then there isnt much more you can do... be happy and move on with your life.

ive done all this already

MrBrownJay1:


just tell him:"you cant continue making excuses for your mother and avoid facing the obvious. we cant continue like this. we will never have a future until your mother is out the picture.
pls dont get me wrong, i dont want you to get rid of your mother from YOUR life, i just want you to understand that unless your mother stops putting her mouth in our affairs, we will never have a future together"... then walk away!

when he grows up, he will be back to you (sadly, by then it would probably be too late)

he makes excuses for her

and tells me he understands my feelings

the problem continues

MrBrownJay1:
the important question... which IS:
- what does your man say when you tell him about this very important issue?

should he come back to me?



even though i broke up with him, do you think he can wake up one day and realise it wasnt my fault that i broke up with him and i was at my wits ends? he blames me

all i know is that if i had a daughter i would NEVER advise her to marry a man when his mother doesn't like you and is against the relationship. if she was not against it but just so/so then fair enough but you are too young to marry a man whos mother doesnt like you. i asked my boyfriend if she could sabotage our marriage and he said she wouldnt but she may be uncooperative , what the fµck does that mean


everyone is built different and for me i always imagined having a big happy family my nuclear family and then being on good terms with my exended family. we dont have to be best friends but they cant dislike me i have to feel comfortable around them .

i broke up with my man and regret it . would you marry a man who was perfect for you in every way but his mother diddn't like you

they have a son husband type of relationship and she sees me as a threat. people are telling me to continue with the relationship and over time she will come round but i don't have peace. i planned to be with someone who had a mother that accepted me. the dad isn't in his life. im 29 and i am heart broken. i wanted to stay with him but i just hate the fact that there relationship is becoming strained because of me and his mother doesn't accept me. he was so perfect for me everything i had prayed for. honestly dont know where i am going to find another him.

god bless

i am meeting d mom on sunday at church

alaso positive updates, i saw messages where she was praying for me on many occassions that i have a great birthday weekend because she knows how hard i work. (he diddnt ask her to do that)

this was after he told her about an argument we had.

does that mean she likes me

i am meeting d mom on sunday at church

alaso positive updates, i saw messages where she was praying for me on many occassions that i have a great birthday weekend because she knows how hard i work. (he diddnt ask her to do that)

this was after he told her about an argument we had.

does that mean she likes me

who said i was 20!

she diddnt want to take me for prayers just him and the son

he has now changed his plans and says he wants to live at home until marriage because things are expensive
can a man marry me if he still lives in his parents house

he has now changed his plans and says he wants to live at home until marriage because things are expensive
can a man marry me if he still lives in his parents house

how?

Zonefree:
You're just bad for a girlfriend. The signs are there.

im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away

im dating a guy and his mother wanted to go to the priest with her son for the priest to pray over the relationship to see if it is the will of God. my boyfriend initially agreed, but when i said i diddn't feel comfortable with the situation he backed out and his mother was very unhappy with him about it.

my boyfriend insists that his mother likes me, and the prayers were just for confirmation, but i am not sure. we've been dating for about 8 months and i've suggested that i meet her this month, to clear my doubts but he says it is too soon and we should wait until late july.

should i be worried?

im in my late 20s he is in his early 30s

bump

my hair doesnt grow past a certain length
i cant do anything with my natural hair cant comb it cant tie it

im not a troll but sometimes i hate afro hair because it is so difficult compared to other races

what can i do please
also expensive braids etc

thanks

after his girlfriend dumped him and i dumped him cos i found out he ha a girlfrined (we were just dating) he told me he never wanted to be with her, he really wanted me, but he said he diddnt want a relationship just yet and wanted us to date, i said no. and then bought me a nice gift to show how serious he was about me, and said sorry. still said no. a week later i decided life is too short so i said im ready if he wants a relationship and he said yes me he wanted a relationship with me. but then he diddnt message me for a week after. because i had a deadline at woek.

i am giving an ex a second chance

i messaged him last week sunday, he asked if i wanted to meet the following sunday (yeysterday) but i said i had a deadline at work

he diddnt message me for the whole week

he has messaged me today, normal communication,

i asked why he diddnt message for the week he said he knew i had a deadline today and didnt want to disturb me

we are meant to meet up this sunday

is that an excuse, should i still go this sunday?

igbo/!
pidgin english

??

he isnt with her anymore. he is done with her he wants to be with me. i am just wondering, based on what i said do i sound like a second best?

if a man dates 2 women that he really likes

makes 1 his girlfriend, she breaks up with him as it doesnt work out and he realises the girl he made his girlfriend isnt the one for him at all, infact it was a bad relationship.

so he tries to make me his girlfriend instead

am i second best?

p.s. he only made her his girlfriend as she pressed for exclusivity whilst i was okay to go with the flow but he claims he never really wanted to be with her but me instead

we are all 27

I met him. I knew he was what I was looking for. We started dating, he told me he diddn't want a relationship, just a situationship - casual dating/FWB. I diddn't want that so I told him we should stop seeing each other. He pursued me. I continued because I liked him. We continued dating for about 3 months. I was in love with him at this point. I told him that I diddn't want to continue this and that we should stop seeing each other or he make me his girlfriend. He agreed for me to be his girlfriend. However because he diddnt truly want that in his heart, he continued to date someone else. I found out and ended it with him. I was heartbroken but moving on.

Me and the other girl kept in contact, I found about a month later he was watching my social media page and accidentally liked my picture, even though we don't follow each other. I told her about it and asked when she last heard from him. She said that day when we both stopped speaking to him. The day I told him that it was over, and I asked if he was going to continue to date and he said he wasn't going to date any one for now, just focus on himself etc. Then that same evening, he messaged the other girl asking if it was really over between them, how he never wanted to be in a relationship with me, and she was asking about a relationship, but he diddnt want a relationship with her either, so she said she wasn't interested. He deleted both of our numbers and moved on.

I found out and I cursed him out, cursed his whole family out, said abusive things that probably turned him off me completely. She doesn't know about this.

Valentines came and she got flowers from him. It turns out he arranged for the flowers to be delivered the day he said he diddn't want a relationship with her, but it wasn't signed from anyone. She messaged him asking if it was him, he said yes. the next day he messaged her apologising again but she wasn't really interested. the same week I contacted him several times, asking for him back in my life, he wasn't interested. We agreed no more contact, and he would post the items that he has of mine to me, but then he came to my house unannounced and dropped of the items (i wasn't home). he lives a good 40 minutes away from me but because he said he was going somewhere near where i lived, he said he would kill two birds with one stone.

she messaged him the same day, saying that she was interested in a relationship with him and he said he wanted one with her too and they arranged to meet for coffee. i have since cut them both off.

what do you make of this?

we are all 27

I met him. I knew he was what I was looking for. We started dating, he told me he diddn't want a relationship, just a situationship - casual dating/FWB. I diddn't want that so I told him we should stop seeing each other. He pursued me. I continued because I liked him. We continued dating for about 3 months. I was in love with him at this point. I told him that I diddn't want to continue this and that we should stop seeing each other or he make me his girlfriend. He agreed for me to be his girlfriend. However because he diddnt truly want that in his heart, he continued to date someone else. I found out and ended it with him. I was heartbroken but moving on.

Me and the other girl kept in contact, I found about a month later he was watching my social media page and accidentally liked my picture, even though we don't follow each other. I told her about it and asked when she last heard from him. She said that day when we both stopped speaking to him. The day I told him that it was over, and I asked if he was going to continue to date and he said he wasn't going to date any one for now, just focus on himself etc. Then that same evening, he messaged the other girl asking if it was really over between them, how he never wanted to be in a relationship with me, and she was asking about a relationship, but he diddnt want a relationship with her either, so she said she wasn't interested. He deleted both of our numbers and moved on.

I found out and I cursed him out, cursed his whole family out, said abusive things that probably turned him off me completely. She doesn't know about this.

Valentines came and she got flowers from him. It turns out he arranged for the flowers to be delivered the day he said he diddn't want a relationship with her, but it wasn't signed from anyone. She messaged him asking if it was him, he said yes. the next day he messaged her apologising again but she wasn't really interested. the same week I contacted him several times, asking for him back in my life, he wasn't interested. We agreed no more contact, and he would post the items that he has of mine to me, but then he came to my house unannounced and dropped of the items (i wasn't home). he lives a good 40 minutes away from me but because he said he was going somewhere near where i lived, he said he would kill two birds with one stone.

she messaged him the same day, saying that she was interested in a relationship with him and he said he wanted one with her too and they arranged to meet for coffee. i have since cut them both off.

what do you make of this?