₦airaland Forum

6 signs of emotional manipulation

At one point or the other, you might have likely encountered a person or people who are emotionally manipulative and controlling. They typically use passive aggressive behaviors to get their way with you. Sometimes, they might not even know they’re doing it and sometimes they know. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel agency, shares 6 signs to help you know when you have become the object of emotional manipulation.

1.)Your Words Are Being Used Against You

Manipulative people typically have trouble admitting fault and accepting responsibility for their behavior. If you call them out on their faults, they will most likely use your own words against you and turn it around to absolve themselves of guilt and make you feel guilty.
For example, you can say something like, “You didn’t clean the house like you said you would.” The person then replies with something like, “Don’t be so inconsiderate nau. You don’t even know how tired I was. I was feeling sick. Why can’t you be more considerate and think of others?” A normal response would have been to simply apologize for not cleaning the house and explain the sickness and weakness, rather than making you feel like a bad person.

2.)You Are Constantly Being Made To Look Forgetful, Demanding and Ridiculous
This usually relates to when a manipulator has obliged your request or made a commitment to you. When the time comes to follow through and you confront the person, the person will twist the previous conversation and replay it to suit his/her needs at your detriment (because you don’t have proof), making you look forgetful, demanding or ridiculous. You begin to question yourself and feel guilty and wrong for challenging the manipulator.

3.)You’re Always Being Made To Feel Guilty and Wrong

You can be wrong a couple of times, but you cannot be wrong all the time. A manipulator knows how to play the victim role quite perfectly, leaving you feeling like the wrong and spiteful person.

4.)Passive Aggressive Methods Are Being Used On You
Manipulators are hardly direct and forthright with you. They prefer passive aggressive methods to honest communication. They would rather talk behind your back, ask someone to be their spokesperson, shout or be loud about confronting you so you hardly have space to react or respond, or give you the silent treatment, rather than sit you down and just talk to you.

5.)Your Energy Around Them is Low

Manipulative people tend to suck all the energy in the room, they want all attention on them and need everyone to notice when they are sad, angry, happy or discontented. They typically do this is in an attempt to make people scramble to see how to help them feel better. Being around a manipulator makes you feel sort of restricted, drained and off-balance

6.)Be Careful
Knowing all the signs, you should at the same time be careful to ensure you’re not also the problem. Sometimes, you can unknowingly be the manipulative, victimizing and spiteful one. The person you consider the manipulator might be sincerely reacting to your unfairness.
You should therefore tread carefully and not be quick to cast blame. Take a step back, analyse the situation and even yourself as objectively as you can, even asking others for advice if you deem fit, and be sure before you proceed. Naturally, when you are dealing with a manipulative person you will know without a doubt after studying the situation and person for some time.


http://nigerianbase.com/6-signs-of-emotional-manipulation-1860#p2825

Aufbauh:
These are the economic and financial criminals.
Interestingly,most of these fugitives act as frontiers of those serving and non serving political bourgeois.

True talk

Observing.

1. Former governor of Jigawa state, Saminu Turaki is wanted by EFCC in connection with a case of criminal conspiracy, stealing, money laundering and misappropriation of public funds to the tune of N36 Billion.
2. Tompolo, the Ex-Delta Militant leader, is wanted in a case of conspiracy, illegal diversion of the sum of N45.9 billion belonging to the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency, NIMASA.
3. Alhaji Iliasu Olanrewaju Abdul-Rauf, the National Coordinator, Federal Civil Service Staff with Disabilities Multipurpose Cooperative Society, Abuja, allegedly collected the sum of N1.7Billion under the guise of awarding contracts for the establishment of rehabilitation centers across the 36 states of the federation.
4. Former Chairman of Pension Reform Task Team (PRTT), Abdulrasheed Abdullahi Maina, for offenses bordering on procurement fraud and obtaining by false pretense. Maina is allegedly complicit in the over N2 billion Pensions Biometric Scam in the office of the Head of Civil Service of the Federation.
5. The Managing Director of Carlisle Properties and Investment Limited, Dr. Kennedy Izuagbe, is wanted in a case of Conspiracy and Money Laundering to the tune of over N3.6 billion. In the course of investigation, Izuagbe went underground and all efforts to reach him have proved abortive.
6. Abdullahi Usman Adamu alias Dan China is alleged to have received a part payment of $500,000 USD through his company Guroje Mining Company for the supply of 3000MT of Lead Ore to a Chinese Company, Shengjia International (HK) Limited. Three months later, Dan China has not supplied the goods and is presently at large.
7. Olabode Jacob O Obayomi, the owner of Standard Chartered Securities Limited of 116-118, Lagos House, Central Area, Garki, Abuja is wanted in connection with a case of Criminal Conspiracy, Diversion of Public Funds and Breach of trust involving the unauthorized sale of over N251 million worth of stock belonging to Ebonyi State Government.
8. Chief Etim Ekpo Okima, managing director/ chief executive officer of Etisko BDC, 11, Abibu Oki Street, Lagos Island, Lagos, is wanted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in a case of stealing and issuance of dud cheque.
9. Chief Osita Emmanuel Okereke, DG National Task force to Combat Illegal Importation of Goods, Small Arms, Ammunitions and Light Weapon, (aka NATFORCE), is wanted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in a case of Criminal Conspiracy and Impersonation. Okereke who was arrested with several incriminating items, including, bulletproof vests has jumped bail.
10. Agbebi Samuel Adebanji of Hepa Global Energy Limited, 33, Creek Road, Apapa, Lagos, whose photograph appears above, is wanted for conspiracy and illegal dealing in Petroleum Product. He was on board vessel MT Good Success carrying 1,459 metric tonnes of Premium Motor Spirit, instead of the 350 metric tons of Automotive Gas Oil, AGO, it was licensed to carry.
From Sahara reporters

People lie for different reasons and it hurts more when someone you love and trust lies to you. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel agency, shares 8 ways to help you deal with lies and temper its effect on your emotions and perceptions.

1.)Recognize That You Are Being Lied To
Before proceeding to deal with lies, you must first establish that you are being lied to. When you are sure, beyond any doubt, that you have been or are being lied to, you can then proceed to deal with it.

2.)Look for Patterns In The Person’s Lies
This is done in an attempt to understand why the person is lying to you. It is easier to deal with when you can identify why the person is lying to you. However, if after some analysis it seems to you that the person is lying for no reason, then there is a bigger problem at hand – you are possibly dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar. If you are not careful, the person’s lies can distort your reality to the point where you actually begin to believe the lies might be true.

3.)Determine if the Person’s Lies Are Harmful
Truth is there is no such thing as a harmless lie, but some lies are more harmful than others. You need to figure out how the lies affect you, the person lying and others that might be involved. Is the person lying to protect, escape the consequence of an error, or manipulate? More importantly, are the lies manipulating you into making decisions or acting in ways that are unlike you or your personality?

4.)Decide Whether or Not to Confront the Liar
This is a personal choice. After you are sure, beyond reasonable doubt, that you have been lied to, you need to sit down, think and decide on your course of action. Determine the better alternative between confronting the liar and keeping to yourself the fact that you know the truth. You can keep it to yourself to inform your future decisions concerning the liar and anything that has to do with the liar.

5.) Document the Lies
This seems funny but if you neglect this you can be made the fool, especially when you confront the liar for his/her lies. You don’t have to show the documentation to anyone, it is mainly for you so you don’t lose sight of the truth. You should document the instance of the lie and why you believe it is a lie. Do some research (an objective one) to get some evidence proving the lie, you should be able to show the liar (and to some degree even yourself), without a doubt, that a lie or lies have been told.

6.)Talk to the Person Privately
If you must confront the liar, don’t do so in public. That tends to have a less than desired effect and isn’t likely to help the person change. When you talk to the person, don’t be condescending or aggressive, calmly point out the person’s lie(s) with evidence and give them space to react. If the person admits the lie(s), then they are most likely remorseful. You can give the person a chance to explain the lie(s).
If the person doesn’t admit the lie after being caught with evidence, then there is a deeper problem – you are more likely dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar. You should tread carefully and wisely at this point because they are unlikely to admit the truth no matter how aggressive you get.

7.)Prepare for Resulting Trust Issues
After being lied to, prepare for the fact that you are likely going to have difficulty trusting people again because the feeling of betrayal doesn’t fade easily. At this point, it helps to remember that there are still honest people in the world, regardless of how few they might be. Remind yourself that no one deserves to be judged by the mistakes of others – everyone deserves a chance.

8.)Protect Yourself
Dealing with lies can be emotionally exhausting. Ensure that you don’t get wrapped up in a person’s lies again. Ensure that at every point you always have a firm grasp on the truth. If things get out of hand and you have to endure mental and psychological trauma because of a person’s lies, it advisable to distance yourself from the liar, and in more extreme cases, cut the person off completely.

http://nigerianbase.com/

Never again will terrorists take over and occupy any part of Nigeria’s territory, President Muhammadu Buhari vowed in Sambisa Forest on Monday.
The President made the vow when he declared the 2017 Nigerian Army Small Arms Championship (NASAC), opened.
Represented by the Minister of Defence, Mansur Dan-Ali, Buhari noted that holding the championship in the forest was an affirmation that government was “resolved to stamp out all activities and operations of the Boko Haram insurgents from our territory.”
Buhari said: “This championship is a showcase of the clear effect and degradation of the Boko Haram terrorist group with the destruction of Camp Zairo in the heart of the famous Sambisa forest.
President Muhammadu Buhari
“I can say categorically that never again will Boko Haram occupy any of our land.
“I want use this opportunity to congratulate the Nigerian Army for this achievement and reiterate at this point by noting that it is a case of professional training that brought the Nigerian Army to this length.”
Buhari restated that through the Presidential Committee on North-East Initiative (PCNI), government would reconstruct facilities and structures destroyed by the terrorists so that the people of the region could enjoy the dividends of democracy.
Earlier, the Chief of Army Staff, Lt.-Gen. Tukur Buratai, said the championship was held at the forest to consolidate on the gains achieved by troops in the North East so far.
“This championship is therefore held here at the heart of the Sambisa forest as part of Nigerian Army’s plans to effectively dominate all hostile territories in the North East”, Buratai said.
NASAC was held seven years ago at Armed Forces Command and Staff College, Jaji, in Kaduna state.
According to Buratai, the championship could not be held since then due to numerous operational engagements by the army.
Meanwhile, the Federal Government has named the newly established Nigerian Army shooting range at the Sambisa forest after the late Lt.-Col. Abu Ali.
Ali, who was the commander of an army formation at Mallam Fatori in Borno east, died in a battle on Nov. 4, 2016 when Boko Haram terrorists attempted to invade and take the town.
Newsmen, recalls that the army routed the terrorists and took over Sambisa on Dec. 23, 2016 at about 1.35pm after it overran Camp Zairo, their last strong hold in the forest.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/

2SWT:
all these people don start again

lol

2SWT:
all these people don start again

lol

As you go along in life, the Holy Spirit educates you about God’s general will. He wants people to love and respect each other. He wants parents to protect and nurture their children. He wants laws to be just. He wants all souls to repent and spend eternity in Heaven.
Being educated about God’s general will gives us confidence in His goodness. We agree that the things He wants sound very pleasant and positive. But when we look at the world around us, we see that many of the things that God says are in His will aren’t happening. Government leaders are corrupt. Laws are crooked. Children are abused. People are cruel to each other. Here is where we should start to suspect that our education on God’s will is not yet complete. But instead of encouraging us to go to the Holy Spirit with our troubling questions, the Church teaches us to take on the role of God’s supervisors and guide Him in fixing a situation that has clearly gotten out of hand. This is when we start praying for Him to soften the heart of our unsaved neighbor, to relocate abused children to better homes, to make prodigal Christians repent, and to replace corrupt leaders with good ones. Because our requests align with the rosy picture of God’s general will, we feel justified in saying we are praying in His will. And if we’re praying in His will, God is supposed to answer us, right? Right. So why doesn’t He? Because the reality is that we’re NOT praying in His will. It turns out that God’s will is far more complex than we realize.
When God lays down moral guidelines and generalities for us to follow, He is not trying to help us anticipate His next move. Instead, He is introducing us to His Character and values by describing what an ideal world would look like. God says He wants a world in which all of His people get along with each other. That’s like you saying, “If I had things my way, there wouldn’t be any starving people in the world—all the food would be equally distributed.” When you make such a claim, we all know you have no way of following through on it. When you talk like this, you’re not trying to tell us what you’re planning to do for the rest of your life, you’re just sharing your personal ideals with us. And since you want something nice, it makes us feel like you have good character. But suppose instead you say, “If I had things my way, everyone would be in chronic pain and starving to death.” Such a claim would make us conclude you had serious issues. If you want nasty things, we aren’t going to trust you or feel safe in your company. It is because God wants us to understand that He is good that He gives us such a rosy picture of the way He would like things to be.
Now where we go off course is by learning the wrong lesson. We think that when God says, “I want the poor to be provided for,” He means, “It’s not My will for anyone to be poor.” Well, yes, it certainly is God’s will for there to be poor people. Just look around: this is God’s world. Everything that is happening in this world is only happening because it’s what God wants. Once we understand this, suddenly things get very complicated and very upsetting because there are a whole lot of evil things happening on God’s watch.
Now if we really think this out, we can tell that we’ve been very badly taught by the Church. First of all, God is not some dot of a human who is powerless to make His fantasies happen. God is God. He is the Almighty Creator. Whenever He wants something, He simply causes it to be. He doesn’t struggle and strain. He doesn’t pine and dream. God is always having His way in this world. So the only way you can cling to the idea that God really doesn’t want suffering in this world is if you reduce God to a Being who is not all-powerful, not in control, and not reigning supremely over all things. You have to turn God into a Creator who is constantly being trumped by His own creations in order to end up with a God who groans in distress over the state of a world which He Himself is sustaining. This is ridiculous theology which completely counters who God says He is. Over and over in the Bible, we find God boasting of how He can so accurately predict the future because HE defines the future. He decides what will happen, when it will happen, and who it will happen to. God emphasizes over and over that He is the ONLY One who knows the future. Demons and angels don’t know it. Humans don’t know it. No one knows or decides what the future will bring except God, and once God decides to do something, no one can stop Him. This is what He teaches us. So if this is true, where is there room for Satan to override God? Where is there room for evil humans to make choices which throw God’s ideal plan off track? There isn’t any. God ALWAYS gets His way down here.
Now if God is always getting His way, why is the world full of child abuse, crime, injustice, suffering and disease? Didn’t God tell us He was good? Indeed He did. So how can a good God be choosing all of this misery? This is where we get into the complexity of God’s will.
THE COMPLEXITY OF GOD’S WILL
When God says that He wants every soul to come to Him, He’s telling us an incomplete thought. Everything God says to us is an incomplete thought because there is always so much more that He could say on any given subject. Take salvation. God wants all souls to repent and come to Him. He’d like us all to enjoy the bliss of Heaven. But He also demands reverential submission from us. He is selective about who He will allow in His Heaven. We really confuse ourselves by not remembering how complex God is. He wants many things at the same time. When we oversimplify Him, we end up drawing false conclusions.
Consider the difference between these two statements:
“I love eating hamburgers.”
“I love eating hamburgers, but only the way my brother makes them.”
These two statements lead us to draw very different conclusions about the speaker’s preferences. When we hear the first statement, we come away thinking that the person loves hamburgers of any kind. If you invite this person to dinner, you’d naturally think serving hamburgers was a sure way to please them. But when you give them a chance to finish their thought, the picture changes drastically. Our hamburger lover morphs into a picky eater who only approves of one particular type of burger. If you heard the second statement, you would certainly not serve this person hamburgers at your house because they’ve as much as told you that you’ll fail to impress them. The first statement made them sound very open minded about the topic of burgers. But the more complete second statement reveals they are very closed minded. Do you see how important additional information is?
Now when it comes to knowing God, there is always more to learn—there is always more that He hasn’t told us yet. This means we must be cautious about drawing conclusions about His preferences. We can’t judge too hastily. When God does something that upsets and confuses us, we need to give Him a chance to tell us more information before we form wrong judgments about Him. For example, many Christians believe God would say:
“I don’t enjoy seeing My own creations suffer.”
And once we think this is a complete thought, we rush to conclude that any kind of suffering we observe cannot be in God’s will. But here is where we are wrong, because this statement isn’t at all complete. There are many situations in which God DOES want suffering to happen. Here is an example of more accurate statement:
“I don’t enjoy seeing My own creations suffer unless they defy Me for too long on earth. Then I delight in torturing them in Hell for all of eternity.”
Wow. A little extra information, and suddenly we have a very different view of God. Yet this view is the far more accurate one for the truth is that people don’t end up in Hell by accident. God created Hell and He intentionally throws people into it. Let’s try another statement:
“I don’t enjoy seeing My own creations suffer, but I will certainly inflict suffering on them in order to draw them closer to Me.”
Now our view of God shifts again. Suddenly we see that suffering really CAN be in His will. We also see that He claims to cause suffering for good reasons—because He wants to help us. Hm. So if this is what God really says about Himself—and it is—then how does that change our view of the child next door who is getting abused by his father? Has God forgotten about the child? Is God no longer reigning in that household? No, such conclusions are very wrong. God has not abandoned the boy, nor is He standing back and letting demons and sinful humans rule in His place. He is controlling every aspect of that disturbing situation and He has a GOOD REASON for causing the abuse to take place. Now when we see abuse happening, we want to rush in and fix it. But God doesn’t always want us to stop what He is doing, so He often blocks us. We call the authorities, but they don’t take action. We reach out to offer the boy direct assistance but he ices us. Soon he’s into drugs and then gangs and then he lands in jail. Where is God? Right in the middle of it, directing it all according to His good plan. How are we responding to that good plan? Are we spending every day stressing and praying and walking around with grief in our hearts? Many Christians feel this is the “Christlike” thing to do. But is it? What does such behavior accomplish? While we constantly tell God to stop doing what He’s doing, we’re just rehearsing doubt in His goodness. We’re just telling ourselves that God is dropping the ball and that evil men are triumphing over Him. What will such a focus do to our own relationship with God? We’ll have a slow and steady erosion of faith, peace, and joy. We’ll end up feeling farther away from God instead of closer to Him. It’s a mess. This isn’t the road God wants us to go down. Instead, He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to look at a disturbing situation and say, “God, I know You know what You’re doing. I’m available to serve You in any way You want. If there’s some way I can be a positive influence in all this, I know You’ll show me. Otherwise, help me to trust in Your goodness.” This is a far more beneficial way to respond to God causing bad things to happen in this world. Here we are practicing trust in God’s Character, and we’re submitting to His Authority. We’re embracing our role as His servants instead of constantly criticizing and nagging Him. This second option is far more honoring to God.
God’s will is a very complicated subject. He is always accomplishing many agendas at once and He never lets us in on the whole picture because we would find it all much too overwhelming. We need to realize that when God talks about His will in the Bible, He is always making incomplete statements—only telling us partial truths that give us only one piece of the picture (see The Complexity of God’s Will ). So when we make a request that we think is in God’s will but then He says “no”, the reason is that we have misinterpreted what God’s will is in that particular situation. It’s very easy to do this, especially when we’ve got our minds filled with bad teaching. It takes time to really grasp that trying to anticipate what God wants in a particular situation is, well, impossible. God is constantly surprising us. He’s constantly doing the unexpected, changing course, breaking well-established patterns. In the Bible we even find examples of Him breaking His own Laws and reneging on His own promises. God is wild. He has preserved records for us so that we can learn this early on and be saved all kinds of confusion and strife. Anticipating God just isn’t a goal we should be aiming for. We must learn to let go of trying to predict Him, and once we can’t predict Him, there’s no point in trying to “name and claim” certain outcomes. We must be content to trust in His goodness while allowing for Him to completely throw us for a loop with some wild change of course.
So then, if we ask for something in God’s will, can we know that we will have it? Absolutely. But once we take an honest look at how wild and unpredictable God is, we realize that we can’t get specific about trying to define God’s will. We have to keep our language very broad and general. “Lord, have Your total way in my life. Make me pleasing in Your sight. Make me all that You want me to be.” What exactly will these things look like? No one can say, but if we ask for these things, we can KNOW that God will give them to us—we’ll just need His help recognizing when He does. But so what? At the end of this life, all that will matter is that God is pleased with us. We’re not going to care about the specifics, we’re just going to want that bottom line of “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Any road that takes us there is the road that we want to be on, and God tells us that if we ask for Him to make us pleasing in His sight, He will do it. If we have that, do we need to spend time worrying about what God is or isn’t doing in other people’s lives? No, we don’t. We need some way of knowing that we can personally succeed with God, and He is the only One who can give us that assurance. As for what He’s doing with everyone else, we have to let go of our desire to understand. We aren’t going to understand. God isn’t going to tell us why He let the neighbor’s child get hit by a car or why our friend was the one who He let terrorists kill. But just because God isn’t explaining His reasons to us doesn’t mean He doesn’t have any. There are ALWAYS reasons, but God works with each of us on an individual basis. Your own life is the one that God will offer you the most explanations about (although He still won’t explain everything). He isn’t going to explain the intricacies of His plans for everyone else because it isn’t your business and He doesn’t want you trying to carry the burden of such knowledge. It’s too much for you. You need to just stay focused on doing you and God.
Today the Church teaches Christians that they’re supposed to go through life weighed down and worn out by other people’s worries. No, you’re really not. God doesn’t want you to spend your life praying for other people. He is taking care of all of them, and He’s doing a far better job than you could imagine. You need to stay focused on Him and just concern yourself with your own walk. In the end God isn’t going to be praising you for how often you doubted His Character and criticized His decisions. He is going to be rewarding you for how well you honored Him in your heart. We honor God by
revering Him, trusting Him, submitting to Him, and embracing our dependency on him.


https://924jeremiah./

What makes you happy ?
• Do you want children?
• What is your financial situation ? How much debt do you have?
• Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What are your long -term goals ?
• Do you have a close relationship with your parents ?
• How is your credit?
• Where do you want to live: a city, suburb, or overseas ?
• How many really close friends do you have ?
• What kinds of pets do you love — if any ?
• Do you know how to cook ?
• What ’ s the most violent thing you ’ ve ever done ?
• Have you ever cheated?
• Do you prefer socialising or staying in?
• What is your family’ s history with disease ?
• How do you want to raise your kids ?
• How much money do you need to be truly content ?
• Would you be willing to seek couples therapy if we ever needed it?
• What is the worst thing you have ever done ?
• What do you love to do most in the world ?
• What are your feelings on divorce?
• Do you want a prenuptial agreement ?
• How do you like your meat cooked? Seriously , I need to know .
• Do you promise to stay with me even if things get really bad ? If one of us gets sick or becomes disabled, will you be there ?
• Have you ever been convicted of a felony ?
• Do you have a savings account ?
• How do you feel about the missionary ( sex ) position ?
• Would you ever use my toothbrush without asking me?
• How do you feel about having breakfast food for dinner ?
• How do you regard the gym on your list of important things you need to do?
• Do you still call your mom for advice on the underwear you ’ re purchasing ?


http://nigerianbase.com/30-questions-to-ask-before-agreeing-to-marry-1778#p2712

Grammar rules can seem like a nuisance. Honestly, do you really need to check every single document for appropriate hyphenation?
According to CUNY Journalism Press editor and writing coach
Timothy Harper, the answer is a resounding "YES."
"The whole point of grammar and punctuation is clarity," he told Business Insider. If you write that a woman has "dirty-blonde hair," for example, people know that you're referring to the color. "It doesn't mean that she needs a shampoo," Harper said, which it would if you'd written "dirty blonde hair."
We asked Harper about the most common grammar mistakes he sees, and added some that drive us crazy on a daily basis. Read on for a list of tricky - but super important - rules that get broken way too often.

1. Confusing 'fewer' and 'less'
Harper said he winds up correcting this mistake pretty often.
He explained that "fewer" is appropriate when you're discussing countable objects. On the other hand, "less" is appropriate when you can't count the thing you're describing.
Here's an example of each word in a sentence:
"Fewer than 20 employees attended the meeting."
"I spent less than one hour finishing this report."

2. Confusing 'amount' and 'number'
Again, it's a question of whether you can count the thing you're describing.
Harper gave examples of how you might use each word:
"There is a really large number of books in that library"
"There's a huge amount of water going over the dam right now."

3. Confusing 'it's' and 'its'
Normally, an apostrophe symbolizes possession. As in, "I took the dog's bone." But because apostrophes also usually replace omitted letters - like "don't" - the "it's" vs. "its" decision gets complicated.
Use "its" as the possessive pronoun: "I took its bone." For the shortened version of "it is" use the version with the apostrophe. As in, "it's raining."

4. Confusing 'who' and 'whom'
When considering whether to use "who" or "whom," you have to rearrange the sentence in your head.
So the question, "Whom did you give the letter to?" changes to "You gave the letter to whom?" "Whom" suits the sentence instead of "who" because the word functions as the object of the sentence, not the subject.
It's not always easy to tell subjects from objects but to use an over-simplified yet good, general rule: Subjects start sentences (or clauses), and objects end them. In short, who does it to whom.
For reference, "Who is a hypocrite?" would be a perfectly grammatically correct question to ask.

5. Confusing 'him' and 'he'
Harper said he often hears people say something like, "Him and me went somewhere." That's incorrect. Instead you should say, "He and I went somewhere."
Things get slightly more confusing from here. It's incorrect to say, "He gave it to she and I." Instead you should say, "He gave it to her and me."
If you're having trouble with this rule, Harper suggested taking away the "and." For example, you can probably tell that the sentence "He gave it to I" sounds weird, so you can figure out that "He gave it to she and I" is also incorrect.

6. Confusing 'me,' 'myself,' and 'I'
Deciding when to use me, myself, or I also falls under the subject/object discussion.
If someone else does something for you, use "me." As in: "He showed me the products."
If you're the one who's doing something, use "I." As in: "John and I reviewed the products."
And you only use "myself" when you've referred to yourself earlier in the sentence. It's called a reflexive pronoun - it corresponds to a pronoun previously in the sentence. For example, "I made myself breakfast" works; "My friend and myself made lunch" doesn't.

7. Confusing 'lie' and 'lay'
It's incorrect to say, "I'm going to lay down." The word "lay" must have an object. So you can say, "I lay this blanket on the bed."
However - and this is tricky - "lay" is also the past-tense version of "lie." So you can say, "I lay down on the bed yesterday."

8. Confusing 'nor' and 'or'
Use "nor" before the second or farther of two alternatives when "neither" introduces the first. Think of it as "or" for negative sentences.
For example, you would say, "Neither my boss nor I understand the new program."
On the other hand, when you use the word "not," you can also the use the word "or." So you'd say, "He is not skilled at math or science."

9. Confusing 'then' and 'than'
Harper said this particular mistake is often a typo. But there's a simple distinction between these two words.
Use "then" when discussing time. As in, "We had a meeting, and then we went to lunch."
Include "than" in comparisons: "This meeting was more productive than the last one."

10. Confusing 'further' and 'farther'
Here's another mistake that trips up many of Harper's students. "Farther" refers to physical distance, while "further" refers to intangible distance.
For example, you'd say, "He lives farther down the road" and "He took the argument further than I would have wanted."

11. Confusing 'whether' and 'if'
Harper explained that "whether" means "this one or the other." "If" refers to one thing that might or might not happen.
It would be incorrect to say, "Whether I have a beer, I'm going to go waterskiing anyway." Instead you'd say, "If I have a beer, I'm going to go waterskiing anyway."
On the other hand, you'd say, "I enjoy hanging out with my friends whether we're drinking water or beer."

12. Confusing 'continual' and 'continuous'
This one is especially tricky, Harper said. "Continual" means something happens repeatedly but not necessarily all the time. "Continuous" means something never stops.
So you'd say, "He let loose a continual stream of obscenities," implying that he stopped to take a breath at some point.
And you'd say, "The water gushed from the pipe continuously."

13. Confusing 'i.e.' and 'e.g.'
Harper admitted he sometimes has to double-check this one.
But the rule is simple: "i.e." means "in other words" and "e.g." means "for example."
So you'd say: "He is the smartest person in the country (i.e. he is a genius). And you'd also say: "I love Dickens' novels, e.g. 'A Christmas Carol' and 'A Tale of Two Cities.'"

14. Using 'they' as a singular pronoun
Harper said this mistake is gradually being more common - and more accepted.
But he emphasizes that "they" is strictly a plural pronoun. So it's incorrect to say, "Everybody raise their hand." Instead you could say, "Everybody raise his or her hand" or, better yet, "All the people raise their hands."
Likewise, you wouldn't want to say, "The team arrived really late at their hotel." Instead you could say, "The team arrived really late at its hotel" or "The players arrived late at their hotel."

15. Using dangling modifiers
These are ambiguous, adjectival clauses at the beginning or end of sentences that often don't modify the right word or phrase.
For example, if you say, "Rotting in the refrigerator, our office manager threw the fruit in the garbage." The structure of that sentence implies your office manager is a zombie trapped in a chilly kitchen appliance.
Make sure to place the modifying clause right next to the word or phrase it intends to describe. The correct version reads, "Our office manager threw the fruit, rotting in the refrigerator, in the garbage."

16. Misusing irregular verbs
The English language has quite a few surprises. We can't list all the irregular verbs, but be aware they do exist. For example, no past tense exists for the word "broadcast." "Broadcasted" isn't a word. You'd say, "Yesterday, CNN broadcast a show."
"Sneak" and "hang" also fall into the category of irregular verbs. Because the list of irregular verbs (and how to conjugate them) is so extensive, you'll have to look into them individually. Here's a partial list.

17. Mixing up subject (and possessive pronoun) and verb agreement
This rule seems a bit counterintuitive, but most plural subjects take verbs without an "s." For example, "she types," but "they type."
The pronoun agreement comes into play when you add a possessive element to these sentences. "She types on her computer," and "they type on their computers."
As a caveat, the pronoun "someone" requires "her or his" as the possessive.

18. Ending sentences with prepositions
Prepositions are any words that a squirrel can "run" with a tree (i.e. The squirrel ran around, by, through, up, down, around, etc. the tree).
For example, "My boss explained company policy, which we had to abide by" sounds awful.
In most cases, you can just transpose the preposition to the beginning of the clause. "My boss explained company policy, by which we had to abide," or better yet, rephrase the sentence to avoid this problem: "My boss explained the mandatory company policy."

19. Misplacing adjectives and modifiers
Harper said he's often correcting sentences such as, "It was a red boy's bicycle." The sentence is incorrect because it implies that the bicycle belonged to a red boy.
So think about how you're assembling strings of words and check to see if the arrangement makes sense. In this case, you would say, "It was a boy's red bicycle."

20. Using 'since' or 'as' to mean 'because'
People sometimes think these three words have the same meaning, Harper said. But "since" and "as" refer to time, while "because" describes the reason for something.
It's incorrect to say, "He went home since the play was over." Instead you would say, "He went home because the play was over."
But if you're talking about timing, you'd say, "Since the play ended, he's gone home."
And if you say, "He went to the store as his brother dug the ditch," it sounds like you're saying: While his brother was busy digging the ditch, he was shopping.
However, if you want to explain that the reason he went to the store was because his brother was digging the ditch and couldn't go, then you would simply say, "He went to the store because his brother dug the ditch."

21. Misusing 'from X to Y'
A lot of people use this phrase in both speech and writing.
But Harper said it's incorrect to say, "That store has everything from cookies to corsets" if those are the only two products the store sells. In other words, there has to be something in between X and Y.
On the other hand, it's correct to say, "That store has everything from A to Z" because there's obviously something (the rest of the letters in the alphabet) in between.


http://nigerianbase.com/

Empowering other people is productive. But giving away your personal power sabotages your chances of success.
As long as you allow other people to have a negative influence over the way you think, feel, and behave, you’ll struggle reach your greatest potential. Giving away your power robs you of mental strength and derails you from your goals.
There are several ways you might be giving away your power. And, you might not even realize you’re doing it.
Here are 10 signs you’re giving away your personal power:

1. You give in to guilt trips.
If you change your mind every time someone tugs at your heart strings, you give others power over your behavior. If you really don’t want to do something, be strong enough to stick to your choices, even when someone tries to take you on a guilt trip.

2. Your self-worth depends on other people’s opinions of you.
Not everyone is going to like you. But, you don’t have to let one person’s opinion define who you are or how you feel about yourself.

3. You have trouble setting boundaries.
You get to decide who to allow into your life. If you grow resentful of people who take up too much of your energy, it’s a sign you aren’t setting clear boundaries.

4. You complain about all the things you have to do.
You also get to decide how to spend your time. No one forces you to go to work, see the dentist, or attend that family gathering. As an adult, you get to make the rules.

5. You hold grudges.
Grudges won’t do anything to diminish the other person’s life, but it can wreak havoc on your own. Whether someone hurt you yesterday or 10 years ago, holding a grudge allows that person to take up more space in your life.

6. You’ve changed your goals based on other people’s opinions.
Many super successful people—like J.K. Rowling and Madonna—were rejected at one time or another. But they didn’t let rejection stop them. Changing course just because someone doubts your abilities gives that person power over your life.

7. You’re hypersensitive to criticism.
Feedback from other people can be instrumental in helping you become your best. But, if you value other people’s input too much, you may avoid doing anything that could lead to criticism. And that could prevent you from living your best life.

8. Other people have the ability to bring out the worst in you.
If you allow someone else to cause you to get so angry you say or do things you later regret, or you succumb to pressure to do something against your values, you give away your power. It's important to behave according to your values, no matter what is going on around you.

9. You spend a lot of time talking about people that you don’t like.
Every minute you spend thinking about someone you don’t like, or complaining about someone you don’t want to be around, is 60 more seconds you give that person. When you dwell on negative people, you give them power over your thoughts.

10. Other people determine the kind of day you’re going to have.
The kind of day you're going to have should center around the boss's mood or your co-worker's actions. It’s up to you to make it a good day despite whatever is happening around you.

Take Back Your Power
It’s never too late to take back your power . Commit to becoming the driver—rather than the passenger—in your life. Decide that you’re going to be in control of how you think, feel, and behave regardless of the situation you find yourself in.



http://nigerianbase.com/

A couple of years ago, Sarah, now in her 40s found herself living the life of a single woman after her marriage of 15 years hit the rocks and she had to find accommodation suitable for her and her two children. “I didn’t for one minute regret the break-up of my marriage,” confessed Sarah an IT Consultant. “My husband and I were not compatible and it was a mutual agreement for us to terminate a marriage that felt more like co-habiting. After the split, I felt liberated, excited and young.
“But that’s not to say that I don’t envy Bola, my best friend, for managing to keep her marriage intact, not the least for her children, who get to grow up under one roof. It’s the little things I truly miss – the daily routine of married life. When I see Bola and her husband working as a team, and the comfortable, companionable love they share – him bringing her her favourite glass of wine without being asked for example – it can bring a lump to my throat. Being the only adult in the house can be a real struggle, and sometimes lonely. And there are the practicalities too – my children are still too young to be left alone, so when I run out of salt or find there’s no bread for breakfast, I can’t just pop to the shops.
11 As a result, I am constantly planning ahead, never letting my domestic guard down. I remember how nice it was to share those little tasks. As for the daily grind of coping with young children, I’ve found it easier to parent them on my own. I’m more inclined to be spontaneous and a bit more fun. There’s no other grown-up to take into consideration – so why shouldn’t we head out to the eatery to have lunch when it’s convenient? But if I am to be honest, I miss the back- up of another parent and a voice of reason to help when I’m stressed. When I’m screaming at the children to get dressed for school – and getting nowhere – I don’t have the ‘Daddy will deal with you’ card to play.
“Bola and her husband do a kind of parenting give-and-take. If their youngest is having a tantrum and one parent is struggling to contain it, the other will step in with a distraction and diffuse it. I’m proud of myself for coping on my own, but would love an ally sometimes. Who wouldn’t. And I know Bola thinks my social life has had a boost since I’ve been single – and to a certain extent, she’s right – but as one social door opens, another shuts firmly in my face.
“Dinner parties and formal get-togethers dominated my week-days. But these days, I don’t get invited to many. People don’t know what to do with a lone woman at the table. Do they think I’m threatening? Or that I’ll get drunk and misbehave? Who knows? But my diary is suddenly very clear of those cosy intimate dinners. There’s an easy, automatic social life and status that comes with being married. And since I’ve become single, I’ve missed being part of that world.
“Finances are a squeeze too. I’ve always worked and been responsible for the family running expenses with my ex’s input, now it’s tough learning to manage my new, much smaller budget. I know married women, like Bola my friend, have their own financial challenges, but it feels as if theirs are on an altogether more grown-up level. While they’re buying new houses or flashier cars, I’m hunting for small changes to buy a newspaper. It’s as if I’ve regressed to my student days, whilst they’re still forging ahead.
“Perhaps the thing that bothers me the most is that Bola doesn’t have to explain her domestic situation to anyone. She’s married that’s it, all questions answered. But the word, `I’m a single mother’ throw up so many variables. Was the father ever on the scene? Do the children still see him? Who finished with whom? And on and on it goes. Meeting new people, I often find myself talking about’ my children’s dad’, hoping they’ll understand and that I won’t have to tell the whole story.
“My friend doesn’t have people feeling sorry for her or have to answer that loaded question’. ‘How are the children doing?’ It’s as if she’s doing things right and I’m somehow not. Bola my friend tells me she envies me for that’ delicious, intoxicating excitement’ of a new relationship. She confesses she’s completely forgotten what it’s like to worry about what underwear she’s wearing or if it matches her bra.
“ At times it feels like I am in a different world to her. Our friendship used to be one founded on familiar rhythms – we were bonded in the same daily routine. Now it’s all so different. And I sometimes miss the feeling that we were once on the same side … “


http://www.vanguardngr.com/

Gbam!!!!

The amount some women spend on cosmetics is quite staggering! You don’t even want to know the amount.
In fact, women, themselves, will be astonished by how much they spend on cosmetics. Notwithstanding, you dare not tell some women not to use cosmetics or makeup. Some women will say: you don’t want me to look good!
I want my skin to look like that of Toke Makinwa! For this one, the boyfriend is in trouble. Still, you need to check your spending on cosmetics. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel portal shares ways women can save money on cosmetics.

1.)Use less expensive brands
We all love expensive things. The expensive bags, shoes, phones and even cosmetics as far as you can afford it. Even if you can afford it, it doesn’t mean you should spend all your money on it. To cut down cost, go for affordable brands or substitute. Inexpensive doesn’t mean fake. It perfectly works like the expensive ones.

2.)Buy in Bulk
You will spend less if you buy in bulk. Because if you calculate the amount you spend on buying one every time, it is more than when you buy in bulk. So, try to always buy in bulk.

3.)Collect Samples
There are events you attend in one of the hotels In Lagos where you may be given free samples of products. Do not hesitate to collect these cosmetics samples. Although this is a marketing strategy, the fact remains that you are not paying for it. These free samples will increase your cosmetics stockpiles.

4.)Use Less
To cut cosmetics cost, you can decide to use your creams and lotions only when you are going out. There is no need to use it when you are home.

5.)Shop in Unconventional Locations
If you want to reduce spending on cosmetics, you should buy from unconventional stores. Try as much as possible to avoid the high street stores.The cost of the item will be very affordable at the market or departmental store when compared with the other chain stores.

6.)Don’t share your cosmetics
If you don’t want to buy cosmetics weekly, don’t share it with family and friends. They will be unhappy with you but it is for your own good. However, you can allow them to use it if they are willing to contribute.

http://nigerianbase.com/

No 12 quiet Critical

true talk.....

True talk...... IDOLATRY... is what led to the temporal downfall of the black race....... but the dawn is near......

CU ranked above OAU...... some folks ain't gonna like this.....

In my case... I drink a lot of water and stay away from food for a while......

fish gills...? evolution and foolishness.....

omenkaLives:
If this fool had any bit of sense and shame, he should rather have realised God commissioned Baba to come open the eyes of the good people of this great country to what a criminal enterprise PDP is.

The revelations we see daily should be enough to shut the mouth of a man with honour up forever- but of course, honour and shame are two nonexistent words in the world of PDP.

huh?.

vanbonattel:
The award for the most "wickked" politician in the world should go to Tinubu!

I mean, how can you pull out a sick and dying old illiterate old man who is more out of date than an analogue computer to rule over a country with millions of professors? They planned to kpai the baba the day they convinced him to run for president again.

Poor old man. He was innocent of the whole plot and was surprised when he won. He was so unprepared that he ran to London to hide, then to Mecxa to pray because of the trouble he has accepted.

Take heart baba, only hiding will save you as it is clear that the seat is bigger than you.

no bro...buhari was presented, the people voted...

According to Reno Omokri

beautiful kids....

Wow!!!!!

what!!! end time tins

You must be joking...... hahaha....

that Biro game was classic.... original Mortal Kombat

Dats all...

super duber mega SWAG....