₦airaland Forum

My votes.

Best newcomer

Thronekid

Best writer

Safarigirl
Tiffanj
Kinzpen.



Meanwhile you can read my first story on nairaland fromt he link on my signature. Thanks.

slap1:
I've read the bit I could. You're doing good. Note that full stops, exclamation/question marks and commas come before the closing quotation marks, not after.

So you should punctuate like this " A b c,?!." and not "Abc"?!. as I've observed in your writing. Keep it up!

correction noted. E se o. That is my first ever story.

slap1:
Nice. But you need to pay attention to details: sequence of tenses, omission of articles, concord, punctuation, and compactness of sentences. Good work. No be to graduate with first class be the koko!

nice. Pls read my own story via my signature

Wow. 1000 views. Am very greatful. Thanks for reading

Very interesting. Thanks for the piece of advice

Divepen:
Erm...Boss you are doing good and I think it will be better if you do some things.

Unless, you are planning to write a novella, I will advise that you take your time to describe actions, places and things and put us in suspense..
I.e No matter how short the update will be, try to make sure that when we finish that update we would hope to stay around; we would asking for more.
E.g look @ that place you told us that the potter was dead..
You might just stop at someone died...
That will keep us on the edge of our seat..
You could have said...
' I tried to see who it was but the people around the dead person were not giving me chance to see who it might be.
I looked around and could not find Labake, and this made my heart pound terribly. I seems to begin to swell as I breath in more air than usual. I looked at the door to her room but there was no sign of her.
Labake was my only hope at the moment. I prayed silently that death had not taken her.
' Nothing must happen to her', I muttered as I looked about.
*To be Continued*
I know you can do something better what I've done.


Also, I know it is not easy but yours was pronounced. Please stick to one tense- past or present. Past is preferable.

thanks boss. Am very happy o

Pls now. Everybody. I need your comment.

Am sorry this update is small. Am rili sorry. Another update is coming 2day

---------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 4

Things became tough after the death of potter. His familiy cam and pack his property. The landlord asks us to leave the house. Because potter's house rent has due.

If not for Labake that accommodates us in her one room self contain not far from the brothel. We would have been back to square one.

Two weeks after potters death. Labake introduce us to pure water business. We are to sell it under the pedestrian bridge in ojota. We would sell to people coming down from the bridge.

The first two week of our new job isn't easy at all. We hardly sell two packs in a day. It was very hard for me as I can't carry them on ma head because of the bandages still on my head.

"You can't expect to sell better like this". Labake started his explanation after we explain our lack of sale to her.

"I know this will be tough but you have to be smart, you can't just stay in a place and expect sale, you have to run after them" she paused and catch her breath because she is not the type than can speack for long.

"You have to be smart" she finally said

"Thanks aunty" we chorused and went to bed.

"Am going to the brothel. Sleep tight" she said as she walks to her walking place


To be continued today........

Am sorry guys 4 not updating yesterday. I promice I will update very soon

Chimdim:
weldone my dear and more mb to ur phone

thanks sis

Pls I need comments. Thanks

alberto2k:
Bro tatty update pls na

ok

Nimen:
Choi... That pikin need deliverance oo, na badluck im be

abi o

alberto2k:
Following

thanks boss

Hi. Pls I need your coment to continue 2day

Nice story