₦airaland Forum

nobilis:
U see?
That's where ur reasoning about this matrer is flawed.
Love is not based on certain conditions.
Attraction is very different from love.

Love is more sublime and much deeper than what you're talking about here.

And it never fails.

It has nothing to do with sex.
It has nothing to do with romance.

It is an amazing thing all by itself.
And the bottomline is, if it fails, it was never love.

We all know that love is not sex and it has everything to do with romance - yes, romance is very important. Romance here refers to doing those things that can make your relationship better. Things like going on a date, buying her gifts, writing her good poems, spending time together etc. If you can't make your woman feel loved, forget it.

Love can't thrive on mere wishes and hotair. If you do things the opposite way, don't expect love to stick around. You can't be beating your woman, cheating on her, denying her food and money and still expect the love to be intact.

No matter how you look at it, for love to thrive, it has to be sustained. You must do things that will accommodate it.
That's why married people are told to do the things they did while wooing their women. You don't just careless about your woman and wait for madam love to still be there. Mbanu!

You have to change your understanding of what love is and how it thrives.
You can love someone and lose that love if the person change from what you use to know.
That's how it is!

mizquote:
I have dat kinda guy.

really?

kossyablaze:
I nid to mould the woman of my dreams then

Hehehe. Na investment be that.

Actually, love is a complex thing.
It is very possible to fallout of love with someone you once loved. It's simple - if the person you love stops doing most of the things that attracted you to him or her, and if the person starts maltreating you or making you feel worthless and unloved, falling out of love becomes very possible. That's how love works.

A good relationship is like sweet wine, you drink and get intoxicated. For one to attain such happiness, a cursory look at some of the good things to look out for in a partner is essential to guarantee a happy relationship. When getting into a relationship you want to work, please consider that some if not all of these requirements are met. It will go a long way in sustaining your relationship.
 
1. Honesty: One the paramount reasons some relationships enjoy lengthy days can be attributed to the presence of honesty. To be sincere, truthful and honest in your dealings with each other will earn you both the trust and credentials to live happily. It will eschew anger, distrust, suspicion, bad jealousy and any form of rancor that might spring up in your relationship. Honesty is a very important requirement.
 
2. Must be responsible: A responsible partner knows what is expected of him/her in a relationship. He/she knows that maturity, understanding and compromise are necessary in order to grow the relationship. A responsible man sticks to one woman and knows the dangers of engaging in illicit affairs. He provides, cares, loves and becomes the pillar for the unity of his relationship/partner. Being responsible is a sign of maturity.
 
3. Sexual appeal: For any relationship to last, the partners must have that sexual chemistry, attraction and appeal. For you to properly love someone, he/she must appeal to you sexually. Starting a relationship with someone because of financial reason or other mundane reasons without giving thought how you feel about the person emotionally is akin to playing with fire. You will certain get burnt when such a person dumps you like a dirty trashbin. Going after someone who does not appeal to you is like a time bomb waiting to explode. Find someone who you can willingly give your body and all.
 
4. Respect: This is another thing to look out for in a partner. Respect is important in any relationship. When your partner respects you, he/she will not do things that will hurt you or bring you both shame. He/she will regard you, protect you and value you. If he/she doesn't respect you or your opinion, it's a sign of bad things to come.
 

 
5. Does he have Goals: No one wants to marry someone who doesn't want to become something in life. A man without goals is a big sign of irresponsibility and cannot work towards the growth of his/her partner let alone starting a family. Goals define people and tell you who they are and give you the assurance of better things to come. Never be with someone without goals in life.
 
6. Does not cheat: To many, cheating is a deal breaker in any relationship. Before starting one, make sure your would-be partner is not a cheat. Cheaters always have a way of hurting their partners and end up infecting them with sexually transmitted diseases. If you marry a cheat, you are digging your own grave.
 
7. Commitment: This is very important in any relationship. If your partner is not ready to do his/her all for the success of the relationship, just beware. Commitment is a key factor in any relationship. If he/she is not ready to commit to you, then know that it won't work. Don’t be with someone who will give you all the reasons to be afraid of the future. Be not with someone who has his/her eyes fixed outside and ready to follow anything on skirt or trouser.
 
8. Truthfulness: Always look out for someone who is truthful. A person that is truthful will always give your heart calm. You will be assured of his words and whereabouts. But, the opposite is a curse.
 
9. Patience: Every relationship endures hard times. A partner who is patient will help you in making life easier. When someone is not patient, it can result in many difficulties such as hot-temper, fights and quarrels. Look out for someone with patience. It will help you.
 
 
 
10. Proper hygiene: Cleanliness, neatness and proper hygiene are essentials etiquette for any good relationship. The opposite is an eyesore.
 
11. Good sense of humour: Be down-to-earth, be yourself, and never deal to impress. Every partner loves someone who is real. Be real and have a good sense of humor. It will endear you to your loved ones.
 
Try these tips and see if your relationship will not be one to savor. Remember, it is not necessarily possible that your partner MUST have all these qualities. If possible, build on the ones you can and work hard for the others.
 
 
Written by Alexander Thandi Ubani
A Poet, Creative Writer and an Editor
Follow on twitter @thandiubani



http://www.tori.ng/news/14745/hot-11-good-things-to-lookout-for-in-a-life-partne.html

Falling in love is a sweet thing, but maintaining that love is a task many cannot cope with because of so many issues. Read this revealing piece to know the things you must do and avoid to save your relationship.


 
The talk of love is never an easy thing. When love is true, it lasts for life. Such love is very rare. However, if you are in love and wish to maintain it, it is pertinent that you look at these points to know what might go wrong in your relationship.
 
• Lust: Are you in love or in lust? When someone is in lust and not in love, he/she will eventually force his/her way out of the relationship when they get what they want. Lust lasts for a while; it is like the dew. It is here in the morning and disappears before noon. People fall out of love because they never were in love in the first place. It was lust that lead them all through. When they get what they want, they come to the realization that it wasn't really worth it after all. Lust is one of the most known reasons why people fall out of love. Was it even love in the first place? No!

• Health problems: This is another important reason why people fall out of love. When one of the partners is facing a health disability which wasn't there at the inception of the relationship, can lead some to become detached from their partners and act indifferent when their sexual needs are not satisfied. Such health problems which could stop one partner from fulfilling some of the vital relationship needs can be a reason why many fall out of love. Some go to the extent of finding someone outside the relationship or marriage who is fit enough to fit in. When a health problem limits the ability of a partner to perform, it becomes a burden on the relationship. Only persons who have a peculiar understanding of life, will hang around even when the journey gets tough.
 
• Incompatibility: When people do not share same ideas, lifestyles and values, it tends to bring problems. They fight at every topic, curse, bicker and abuse each other at almost everything at sight. When couples do not share same thing in common, it brings a bridge and might become an excuse to fall out of love. If people are not compatible, it brings problems if not well handled. Some go on to pursue lifestyles very different or opposite to the kind of life their partners live. This in turn breeds disharmony, friction, loneliness and deprivation thus leading some to do things that they may not have thought of if the situation was right.
 
• Relationship built on wrong foundation: When a relationship is concocted for the wrong reasons, people always fall out after a short time. For example, when someone is in it for financial gains or for the s*x. S/he will later find out that such wealth doesn't exist or that the sex isn't as great as she or he envisioned it, the person will certainly have reservations and fall out of love.
 
• Betrayal: When a partner has been maligned or betrayed and emotions trampled on the floor, he or she is bound to fall out of love. If not sooner, then later. Betrayal of love is one of the major reasons people fall out of love. The thought to get even can fuel one's feelings to do the unthinkable.
 
• When boundaries are not defined: When a relationship is not defined as to what is expected and limits not set as to where it will lead, many people consider it as opportunity to still explore. Some still use that as an opportunity or excuse to still play around. Defining a relationship and making reachable targets will go a long way in strengthening it. But when that is not defined, people fall out of love easily when one partner must have knowingly or unknowingly engaged in a conduct not suitable for a serious relationship.
 
• No communication: Communications is a very important aspect of any relationship. The absence of it brings a bridge. When people don't communicate consistently in a relationship, when there is absence of closeness, great rapport and freedom to express oneself without being shouted down at, the love tends to die a natural death. When two people in a relationship do not have an open channel of communication, it becomes a big problem and an opportunity to follow another course which might not be acceptably in the eyes of his/her partner. Effective communication is important for any relationship to thrive.
 
• Distance: Long-distance can affect a relationship when mechanisms are not put in place to meet, interact and share in each other's feeling. Distance can be a barrier and make people fall out of love when they cannot see the ones they love. Nowadays, the internet and social media is the cheapest means of constant and easy communication channel serious couples who are distant from each other can explore. It can help save a relationship.
 
• Conflict: Fight, quarrels, insults and violence can make someone run away from a difficult relationship or even fall out of love. When someone is constantly harassed, beaten, verbally abused, manhandled and disrespected, such an individual will find ways to leave and thus that will open the door for falling out of love. Conflict is not good for any relationship. Avoid it like a plague.
 
• Dishonesty and grudges: No one wants to be with someone dishonest. A dishonest person is a minus to anyone and will surely bring disaster in any relationship. Dishonest people who engage in illicit affairs and thus bring problems, diseases and disaster to themselves and their innocent partners do not add anything to a relationship. AVOID SUCH PEOPLE AND DON'T WORK YOURSELF OUT THINKING THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THEM. When such is found out, it makes the disheartened partner ill which might lead to harbouring grudges that can never be healed by time. At the long run, they end up with fights every now and then. This could lead one to match out of love.
 
Love is a sweet thing when served with all sincerity. But, the following listed setbacks should guide us for the better.
 
Written by Alexander Thandi Ubani
A Poet, Creative Writer and an Editor with
Tori.ng
Follow on twitter @thandiubani

http://www.tori.ng/news/14747/hot-10-simple-reasons-people-fall-out-of-love.html

The Nigerian Music Industry, a Success Story So Far - By Alexander Thandi Ubani

Unarguably, the Nigerian Music Industry is Africa’s largest depot of talented, industrious, creative, budding and evolving musicians who have taken Nigerian music to the world stage. Such names as the renowned Fela, 2Face Idibia, Don Jazzy, Davido, Olamide, Wizkid, Flavour, Dbanj, Psquare, Banky W, Tiwa Savage, Asa, M.I, Ice Prince, Wande coal, Naeto C et al are household names making waves in Africa and far beyond.


The quality and style of music being dished out by upcoming and established acts can only be A-classed.

This new development is a thing of great joy. Everyone is living up to the challenge to be counted as the competition has resulted in better quality of audio, video and lyrics in demand. Even better, the music sphere is graced with international collaborations, adding another milestone to the success story being recorded.

Well known international acts like Rick Ross and T.I got featured by Psquare; Dbanj also saw music legend Akon feeling it in his “Feeling the N*” and a host of other international collaborations with Nigerian musicians which points to the growing popularity of the industry not just in Africa but the world.

Such banging hit songs as Olamide’s−Eleda Mi; Davido’s−Aye; Flavour’s−Ada Ada; Kcee’s−Limpopo; Patoranking’s−Girlie O; Tiwa Savage’s−Eminado; Psquare’s−Collabo and a host of many other banging hits showed the enormous growth the industry has recorded over the years.

Interestingly, the increase in the number of television channels showing Nigerian music is a great plus to the industry. Stations such as MTVAfrica, Channel O Africa, HipTV, Primetime Africa, SoundCity, TraceTV, AfroPop TV and many others play important roles in bringing many of the numerous talented artistes to the global stage.


More so, the introduction of awards for best performing artistes and the rewards for hard work has propelled many to work even harder. Such ceremonies of distinction and recognition namely: Channel O Music Video Awards, Headies Awards, Afrimma Awards, MTV Africa Music Awards (MAMA) etc are milestone novelty gestures fertilizing the rapid development of the Nigerian Music Industry.

Added to it, are the mouth-watery prizes for winners. It is no wonder then, that the artistes have sworn an oath of high performance to churn out high quality and top-notch audio, video and lyrics for their teeming fans. By this gesture, Nigerian artistes have indicated a high degree of seriousness in setting the pace for others in Africa to follow.



However, the success story is not starved of little hiccups. The profusion of the industry by fame-thirsty individuals has resulted in congestion and somewhat increased number of musicians singing for honours. We are not left out in the controversies, gossips and rancor as it adds spice and fun to it all. Some of the celebrities fight it out with abusive words on social media platforms such as Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. On twitter, these fights become more demeaning as tantrums fly here and there, which adds to the whole fun after all.

The Nigerian Music Industry is a bubbling platform offering many of our idle, yet very talented youths an escape route to stardom. It is pertinent that those who have benefited from the industry should emulate the good gestures of their international colleagues by providing enabling platforms to grow others who are of little means but well talented. This way, they would have given back to society and affect positively the lives of others.


Today’s reigning acts like Davido, Olamide, Flavour, Patoranking, Phyno, Omawumi, Chidimma, Koredo, Shayi Shey, Praiz, KCee, Eva et al all have the stage for grabs. It is interesting then to note that, this industry must be supported to grow all the more as it plays a pivotal role in Nigeria’s economy.


The industry employs a sizable amount of our numerous idle youths who go on to become responsible members of the society. The issue of royalties, piracy and theft of intellectual properties (songs) must be considered with utmost seriousness as musicians should be given what is theirs and what they have worked for. The Copyright Society of Nigeria (COSON) must ensure that piracy is rooted out of the system and measures taken to punish people found wanting.

The Nigerian Music Industry is a wind that will blow without stopping. The future of the industry is filled with promises. Many more will come. Let us all join hands to make it a success!



Alexander Thandi Ubani is a creative writer, poet and music enthusiast.

http://www.tori.ng/news/14365/the-nigerian-music-industry-a-success-story-so-far.html

RichieF27:
http://sunnewsonline.com/new/britain-toys-with-woes-of-another-biafra/

"This intruder should, therefore, shut up and keep off." I just love that line.