₦airaland Forum

Vergovert:
I only asked an innocent question and you don dey vex.


That's says a lot about you.

You may also consider that as a piece of advice na.

Caseless:
some na money laundering.

You're probably right!

I have also thought about that possibility several times in the past, including after making that post, because it just doesn't make sense.

So you meant a person should do away with close friends of the opposite sex once they're married? Please!

Reminds me of one person telling me the other day that it's wrong to still be speaking on the phone with a friend who was married. That's maximum insecurity IMHO.

You could say it's wrong to be visiting them alone. But talking to them on the phone? Abegi.

Oyinbo people sha. Imagine buying or putting a value on another person's poo.

The other day na banana taped to a wall dem sell for big money. I even heard about imaginary (abstract or non-existent) art being sold for real money!

Vicas2000:
As an early millennial, my post should not really emotionally trigger you this much.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavour and what you decide to do.

Thank you. Oh, I didn't know being of a certain age should make someone not to be triggered emotionally.

It's nothing personal. You only seemed to assume all fathers are the same, which was what I had issues with. It's understandable if one's parents can't afford to do something for you when you know they'd readily do it if they're in a better position. A parent's refusal to sponsor university education could be due to the lack of means to; that's not a crime.

In hindsight, the OP could even consider buying the car for his father. It seems the main issue was his unwillingness to sponsor the son's foreign study, aside being separated from the mother. Foreign education is optional, sort of. The father seemed to have been otherwise responsible; many people are not even lucky to have such.

Vicas2000:
Call your dad tonight. Ask him how he is. Ask how he is faring. Then send him some money.

See ehn....one day that dad will be no more and you will regret not mending the fence with him.


As for the OP, your dad paid for your uni right? He cared for you from childhood and ensured you got a degree.

Your mum did the barest minimum e.g. Selling land and suddenly, she has done more than your dad?


What about all the fees he paid from primary to secondary.....what about the feeding of the family from cradle to grave?


Did you notice that most people egging you on not to care for your dad are women?

I sincerely pray it is not too late for you.


My dad never sponsored me to Uni. I had to fend for myself and I became successful.

but guess what....I have funded his lifestyle for the past ten years and I am happy doing it.


Like right now...my goal is to ensure that my parent (both of them) have premium igbadun till their old age and eventual demise as long as God gives me the capacity.

I do not look into the past at what they've done wrong.

I give a monthly allowance in six figures each to them to the point they sometimes even feed the needy out of their excess.

I Ensure they travel abroad once every two years


And also doing some other massive private project I can't share here.


You know what's funny.....the more I keep taking care of them...the more I keep getting blessed.


I sincerely pray you have a rethink. You dad is an MVP. He is a god. Don't ever let any of the female nairalanders here paint him negatively for you. I just really wish you can see it.

Thanks. But this person you're addressing isn't a kid but a somewhat "early" millennial. I believe I am old enough to make my own decisions.

By the way, how can you make the assumptions that he did all those things you wrote? You cannot know better than the person wearing the shoes!

MVP my foot! I am a man myself. But I don't subscribe to sweeping irresponsibility under the carpet under the guise of a person being this or that. That's how some were trying to win our support for the president because he's a fellow Yoruba man back then. I don't entertain such sentiments.

The truth about relationships with one's children is that they are best built when they are still young. How do you build a non-existent relationship when the child is an adult and expect it to be strong? That's even if such fathers care to attempt to build one.

In my own case, I believe I have forgiven him because we still talk occasionally. I don't have any need for such conversations at all otherwise.

Parents (and people generally) who were irresponsible shouldn't feel entitled. You can give to them if you can afford but are not worth going the distance for in my opinion, as of today.

Imagine a child that was left to fend for him/herself or die now makes it and you say he's indebted to those who left him to die, especially if they had the means, because they're his parents? Yeah, right!

Compliant:
He is still your father, just find a place in your heart to forgive him

My wife told me how her dad treated her, her siblings and her mum bad, right from her childhood to adulthood, the dad used to be a big manager in a defunct bank, living large and took in the second wife etc

Long story short, her dad later became broke

When i got married to ny wife, the first thing i did is to ask her to forgive her dad, she did and we still send allowance to him monthly

WE OFFEND GOD ALSO, YET HE STILL LOVE US AND FORGIVE US

He also wrote that he sends his dad monthly allowances. Do you think he'd do that if he hadn't forgiven him?

Bro, you're an adult so you'll ultimately have to make your decision.

Personally, I don't think I would do more than you're currently doing. I mean you're already sending him monthly allowances! If you're not his only child, he doesn't have to depend on you solely for his living.

I am in a somewhat similar situation as you. I don't send the man money, partly because the relationship was never really there and because I don't think I can afford that. 🤨 I was most likely the least cared for among his children.

A car is somewhat luxury to me, except he intends using it for business purposes. I cannot fund luxury for someone that hasn't earned it and it's not about being unforgiving in my book. I hate irresponsibility!

I think you wouldn't even be sending him anything or relating with him at all if you are being unforgiving. You may grant his request sha if it will be easy to because we're not in the same shoes.

Ultimately, do as God convinces you. I know I am not perfect.

DarkJeddi:
If you don't get opportunities to marry at a younger age,you think it gets better with age?

I don't know what gender you are but men generally prefer to marry younger women..

And more importantly,your achievements as a lady is NOT going to make you more desirable to men..

Men don't generally care about a woman's wealth when he's still going to be footing the bills anyway..

Anyone telling a woman interested in marriage to wait till they are in their 30s, to start thinking of marriage doesn't have their best interests at heart..

In the post you quoted, could you let me know where I explicitly instructed women to wait until their 30s? Please read and understand.

At the same time, I won't advise ladies to jump at anyone who proposes marriage. I won't do the same myself, as a man, and that's part of the reasons I still remain single. It's important to pray and study the nature of the person you're considering for marriage.

The only problem most ladies have is that they mostly reject men on financial grounds, followed at a distance by physical attractiveness. Those won't guarantee you a happy marriage!

Tallesty1:
I doubt there’s any 35-year-old who hasn’t met someone who genuinely wanted them at some point.

For men, it’s often during a phase when you’re broke or still in school. These women truly cared, but you weren’t ready. Sometimes they moved on and married someone else because you didn’t value them or acted like an asshole.

For women, it’s usually about having unrealistic standards when they were younger, breaking up over trivial reasons, or friend-zoning the ones who genuinely cared for them.

Majority has at least that one relationship they wish they didn't mess up.

You're right. But I still believe there are some who were unlucky. For example, those who spent many years with men whom they thought cared but who really didn't.

Lonestar124:
35years is too far for women to get married oo, to avoid bearing disformed and hormonal imbalance children..

Let's stop misleading our younger generation, we are not wiser than our fore fathers.

So, what if the person hadn't been lucky to find someone suitable at a younger age? I know at least a couple of such.

And another thing: God has the final say! We've heard of middle-aged women giving birth to healthy children, even back in those days.

Everyone don't always get what they want at their desired time. That's life and God knows best.

Well, the story might be different for people who kept marriage on hold when presented with perfect opportunities sha.

The poster already read my mind! I don't feel sorry for him. It's not my thing to feel sorry for people who exhibited foolishness when I expected them to know better.

1Sharon:
That's my point. Because a girl is friendly doesn't mean she wants a relationship. Just get the message

There's is only one way to find out.

As Coldplay said, "if you never tried, you never know." I will say in the same vein that if you never asked, you never know.

I saw a person's response to the question in my feed on X some days ago.

He claimed it's some astral stuff that involve calling forth what's already in another dimension into this one. According to him, things in this world have copies in the other world. You need to give something in exchange to get what's there, plus there are consequences.

Whatever...anyone wey do money ritual should be ready to see anyhow sha.

sharone21:
If $1 equivalent in Naira isn't too much for u for my sleepless nights and efforts then chat me on WhatsApp.

No wahala.

sharone21:
Hi all. Happy Sunday.

By God's grace, finally I have my thoughts on paper/ ebook/manual( howver you call it)..

This is my contribution to the 'industry'.

Only requirement for this FREE material: Join my Exness & Deriv links which you can ask me for via my contacts.

Hoping my thoughts on paper will help us all through this arduous but possible trading journey.

*It has a lot including where to put money made from trading ie banks to make more, some binary tips, a lot on the dynamic use of Deriv's Time frames, Candle color patterns( my own perspective) which links with the now popular Change of Character ( CHOCH) etc.

Have a fruitful week. Amen

Hi. Please I'd love to have your manual but I already have a Deriv account which I have had for years (on and off). Just been donating all the time.

Has anyone been able to use Binance today, please?

It's not opening here.

Rasheem, please how do you receive KDP earnings?

I would have loved to give this thing a shot again. But I was practically working for Amazon and KDP the first (and last) time I tried my hand at it with puzzle books. After all the efforts and ads, I only got a few sales paying like less than $0.5 in royalties being paperbacks.

These payments were not consolidated but were sent separately when due because I used a Payoneer account. I get charged 1% or $1 for payments received (whichever is higher), so Payoneer practically took those royalty payments as fees!

Please let me know the solution to this, if any. Thanks.

OP, whether you are male or female, you don't need to prove anything here. It's those who contact you privately you may need to do that for.

And it's not every comment you respond to. Once you sense the conviction or stance of a person, don't stress yourself too much trying to make them think otherwise. Just ignore. I'm trying to do the same, even though it may be a bit hard sometimes.

PS: I am a man and more like your "small" uncle, so this is not someone trying to get in anyone's good book.

SWATMan:
It's him. He posted a similar story here last year. It's all about a girl scamming him. If you read the 'story' carefully you will notice the point he gave himself away.😀😀😀

I guess it's the same portion I bold in my earlier post.

This thread is the main reason I am here by this time only to be distracted by other threads while searching for it.

While the OP might have ulterior motives, his post at least made me aware that BTC price had surged when I saw it last night. It was already near 88k (after retracing from 89k+) by the time I could sell some of the units (satoshis) wey I get. It was again above 89k at last check this morning.

So, thank you! If to say I sabi take high risks, I for don dey inside better money now.

Pochettino:
You gave her the morale by being too weak to get yourself a woman. We women can smell weakness in a man from a mile away.

This man again.

And the "being" waited patiently and smiled while being photographed? 🙄

Veetee:
These days I have been wondering how the dating pool has gone from bad to worse.

I would make this story brief. A friend of mine though married was trying to get a side chic for himself.
He met a girl on instagram and they have been chatting for sometime. He shuttles between canada and nigeria, since his family lives abroad.
We both had a man to man discussion where he talked about getting tired of doing runs girls that you would have to pay money to nack

The girl is a student of unical. So while he was in canada they both got talking, doing video call and the rest.
Once in a while he sends her money, 250k, 100k from time to time.

Then he said he noticed something, the girl travelled to zanzibar in Tanzania on a pleasure and vacation trip. He said during that period she doesnt respond to calls and text messages. he was wondering how a student could afford such an experience trip out of the country. In my mind I was like these young yahoo boys must have sponsored such trips.

After he returned from canada to nigeria, back to his base in lagos. they got talking and he asked her to visit him in lagos from calabar

He sent her 320k for her flight ticket. she requested for some other money which he sent 100k.

Omo after she got the money she didnt book the ticket because according to her the network was bad and she doesnt want it to het stuck.

They started going back and forth of this booking issue. my friend got frustrated along the way , that was when i got to know about the story.

sometimes he would call she wont respond, claiming she is in class. At the end my friend asked her to return the money to his travel agent
somehow she found that suggestion annoying. She angrily told him to send his own account so she can refund that she is no longer interested in seeing me.

My own conclusion in this story is if you are dating a beautiful girl in nigeria, you have a lot to do. The competition is very fierce.

These young yahoo boys at the moment have so much money to lavish on these ladies. If you are a young man doing legit hussle, my advice for you is just focus on your hustle.

Him or you? 🤔

By the way, I don't sympathise with whomever was involved. I don't see any moral in all of this. Plus, na people like una dey spoil these ladies with money so tey most other guys no get rep for dem eyes.

Mille:
Happened to me.

Billings from extended family members wanted to kill me for over 4 years. I even had to fully stop social media because anytime I upload anything, it's usually followed by billing.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and quickly married her. Now, it's much easier to say no, especially since they know I have a "high maintenance wife and daughter" who I have made priority. Some even dislikes my wife and daughter because of it but who cares.

The guy should also learn to say NO. From experience, it's the most powerful word of all time.

I have also thought about marriage as a possible way out because I sometimes imagine that people might think you don't have any responsibility by being single.

Getting married doesn't seem that simple, though. Don't want to go the pregnancy route - can be frustrating down the line. And these ladies want (financial) assurance before discussing anything.

As for the OP, it's good to help. But I think you should do it with "sense." Don't assume all responsibilities that you're not ready for.

As you're helping others, also have a plan for yourself. It's better you don't let people know your full financial capability. That's because when the chips are down (like right now) it's then you get the clear picture. As someone wrote, those people are still surviving with your current situation anyway.

Richtaiwo:
I don't understand this ratio.

83% of my income on food, 48% of same income on transportation, 38% of still same income on Bills and Utilities, yet again clothing is taking 35% of same income and the rest.

Shouldn't the total percentage be 100? I'm not understanding this analysis.

Thank you o. The thing just shock me. I thought maybe I no understand mathematics or data again.

I had to check for the source link and was I disappointed or somewhat shocked?

Hemanwel:

Be like, nairaland is no longer a reliable breaking news platform. Most of the news we now read on nairaland had become stale before getting here.

I think it's high time I looked elsewhere for up-to-date breaking news platform.

Please where did you read it that Nairaland is for breaking news? 🤔

OP, your fellow women sef dey contribute o. There are some that leave good men for unfaithful men due to material things and fake promises or claims. They lack discernment.

I still wonder how some women end up with men that are not responsible and leave them to carry all the burden, though. Meanwhile, many of them will not even give those that are real with them a chance.

See, na every Mallam with him kettle o.

solacong:
Check out Soilless farm lab for their next cohort, if you are below 29, they offer 12 weeks practical free training with stipend, I got to know about them when I was searching for where to learn to farm, my age no gree me enter

I am still looking for where to learn

https://sfarmlab.com/EYiA/

Thanks for sharing.

However, age is a hindrance - as I stated in one of my previous posts. I had seen several similar ones in the past, even with higher age thresholds.

Oriyomin25:
It's a must bro, i mean speaking from someone from Muslim background. You get

Wait, a wedding party is a must in Islam? 🤔

People still dey do wedding party, especially in this economy?

Busy entertaining people who probably don't care about you or would later bad-talk you.

Godwins4:
Noted, I will focus on myself now before I run mad with family responsibilities,I can only assist if I start doing well, I feel relieved bringing this here.

I don't know whether to say I feel relieved that you got to this point because I don't know what God would rather have you do. But I was also thinking along the line of you not assuming too many responsibilities than you can handle.

I understand your concern for the kids, but some things I have seen in life have made me feel less convinced about such matters. You'd see the fathers of such children showing up years later and being "forgiven" or the children themselves saying they want to go to their fathers. By the way, the children will also continue to bear the surnames of such absent fathers. That's so unfair, even though I am a man myself.

Learn to pick your battles.