₦airaland Forum

Nefort:
You don't look Nigerian. Where are you from?

You check every profile?

Probably my brother who lives in the same part of the state I am resident in.

If you live far from me or we're not that close, I don't expect you to show up unexpectedly. My dear mum lives far from me, so...

You wrote that your father left you "faith." So, make the most of that.

Ask God to help you and try all you can to use your experience as lessons needed to do better. The past is gone, start anew.

Do what you can to help your brother break free from the bad habits you introduced him to and, again, commit him to God. Some (or many) things are beyond us.

I pray that may God be with you all in Jesus name.

This man must have come to that conclusion based on an experience (or experiences). But then this is not a case of one-fits-all.

My wife and I will be one (if I do get married), so that will essentially make her my priority. God forbid she proves herself not worthy of trust, then our children become the priority.

I do think the place of a wife and that of my extended family is different, though. There should be no competition. I can't leave one entirely for another.

I'd say you already know what to do. Often, we all do! Just make sure you can bear whatever you choose to do and don't let anyone guilt trip you.

Personally, I can't inconvenience myself for ingrates or people with an entitlement mentality. I can only help you so long you're worthy - that is, you're not just seeing me as a meal ticket.

Stephen0mozzy:
Are you saying you currently earn #240k monthly? And still borrowing?

Or you mean you do not have a job at the moment?

If you are earning #240k monthly, how are you spending it?

Bro, that might sound significant but it's not for a family of that size in this economy - especially in the city.

I am a single man and I spend about that or more a month. And I don't have any lady friend that I spend money on monthly! 🙂 Plus, I don't spend extravagantly or on luxury.

Make I even burst your brain: I no even get a 9-5 job. But God has been supportive and this is the major reason I can't shy away from certain expenses.

I have actually been thinking more frequently about the amount of money I spend per month and thinking if there are expenses I can cut. None yet.

Naira no get value again o. No think am. Baba and his wife need to double their hustles as they continue praying to God for help.

As someone stated above, just try to express remorse and apologise for all you did in the past that are now being used against you. And try to show you're now a better person. Maybe that would lessen the nagging.

Also, work towards leaving that place if you are constantly subjected to nagging. I can't imagine myself (as an adult) living with someone that constantly nags me - not even a wife. God forbid! I prefer peace and tranquility.

alphabbey1:
A very Jobless girlfriend that doesnt know how she will pay her rent coming up in next 5 months was begging me to help change her 11 pro to 14 pro max or higher version. I put this same girl in tailoring school (300k registration fee) and bought her machine to be practising, two months after, mama said she don't feel like learning again.
She started salary work, earning 100k, mama still dey say one pastor said her destiny does not support working under anyone say she wan quit the job.

Abeg where una dey find this money?

I don't think an average man earning average salary can do this for a woman he's not married to, except something is strong with that man. A woman that can easily wake tomorrow and leave. 🤨

Prioritise learning a trade or acquiring self-employment skills. If you must go to a higher institution of learning, take time to assess the usefulness of your course of study critically.

Be daring. Make useful connections. Volunteer where necessary, if you have the time. Be a person of integrity and have sound principles.

Strive only to be a better version of yourself each day. Keep improving. It's not a must to be better than your peers or someone else. Avoid unnecessary competition.

Keep at whatever you're doing and passionate about if you can objectively foresee great results down the line.

Most importantly, commit your life and ways to God for guidance and clarity. And pray that He never leaves you.

This seems a somewhat old post. But since it's been brought up again...

The post brings the statement, "Nice guys finish last," to mind again. Strangely, it has been playing repeatedly in my mind in recent days for whatever reason.

I can deduce from this post that the OP is loaded financially to be throwing away money so. But such a habit makes it quite difficult to tell whether people are really there for you or just for the benefits. The outcomes are there to see!

If I were as loaded as the OP (who is, by the way, a peer), I would be more careful about giving out money in such a manner for the reason stated above. It would be easier for me to give money to needy people that I don't even have a connection with than to such ladies.

We're not a family and you're not my wife yet, so why should I be splashing money on you or be responsible for your needs? It doesn't make sense. They will just see you as a meal ticket.

Regarding the 20-year-old, I think the age gap is too wide. But then, you know what's best for you. I personally don't take interest in ladies that are more than 10 years younger. I just feel our thought processes may not be sufficiently aligned.

And, as someone wrote earlier, the younger lady might turn out to be like the older ladies when she's as old. That's a maybe, though. I'd recommend you pray to God for guidance above all.

Good luck!

Mariangeles:
You don't have to be tribalistic with your comments.
I've noticed that with most of your comments on here.
So off putting.

He's not the only one. In fact, he's probably more diplomatic than most I have seen on this forum, even on this thread. He wasn't specific about the people, but it's almost everyone's guess. That's not to say he's correct, by the way.

Crimes and bad actions have no tribe. One group of people might do them more, but it doesn't mean they are the only ones who do them. It's just like people thinking Nigerians are scammers, but I am a Nigerian and I am not a scammer.

It's just so unfortunate seeing people calling out one tribe or another as the problem of Nigeria. Are all the politicians in government from the same tribe? Are they all not working together? Look at the ones in the National Assembly, for instance. And these bigots, are they even acting as a good citizen would?

I think some people can actually miss their potential helpers with such a myopic thought process. Your helper or benefactor may not be from your tribe, race, or even your family!

Goshiii:
You have a valid point, only say the depreciation of one property depends on how the property is utilized by the tenants. Some tenants go useless landlord property to the point say landlord go spend a lot of money to put the property in good shape to rent it out again.

So it is possible for a tenant to make a property depreciate in a short period of time. Hence from a landlord's perspective short let solves their problem of property damage by tenants.

You have a point, though. Maybe we can just agree that Nigerians are their own problems. Other good tenants will have to pay for or suffer because of the bad ones.

Lack of thoughtfulness towards others is a major reason Nigeria is like this. Most people have no regard for others, including their property and wellbeing, so long they're okay. They ignore the golden rule: don't do unto others what you won't like others do to you.

yomi007k:
Living in Ijede will make it difficult to associate with he rest of Lagos unless na only Ikorodu/Ogun state parole u wan dey do.

Yeah, it would but not with determination. I believe some people work on the Island and commute from there daily. As early as 4 a.m. vehicles are already moving out from the inner areas.

Imagine someone on a salary of less than 200k monthly. They have limited options on the areas they can live considering the rent trend in recent times.

NowisGod109:
Money they use in building the standard 2 to 3 bedroom flat now, they can't realise the money in 5years.

Must they? I guess it's mentality of this sort that contributes to hike in rent, not just the state of the economy.

A house is not a car or other things that depreciates so rapidly in value to become worthless in a few years! It could actually increase in value. So why must you want to recoup all your investment in only five years?

Besides, a house may be thought of as a way of "securing" the land on which it stands. That's actually the real value, in my opinion.

Just saying.

yomi007k:
You should charge 200k for 2 bedroom because Ijede deserves that price.

This is a video of Ijede after the rain.

https://www.nairaland.com/8490917/man-cries-out-after-flood

Yeah...like some other places in Lagos, including the much-hyped Lekki, don't have flooding issue. 😏

By the way, I stay in Ikorodu and I don't really believe you'd get a decent 2BR for that amount he stated at Ijede...maybe not even at Maya. A room and parlour self-contained might not even be possible.

The road leading to Ijede (i.e. Ijede Road) is good, at least for the sections I have been to. And power supply is better than average, from what I know.

I probably would have been interested, but a married woman? I don't go near that territory, even when I am not having "ideas." 😎

Kobicove:
It's a sign of the times, things have changed and these days most people are more concerned about immediate benefits

Well stated!

In fact, I am watching an African Magic Yoruba movie right now in which the wife was frustrating the life of her husband because things took a bad turn for him and she had to take care of living expenses. It just reminded me what an economic world we live in today; many people only value you (especially as a man) based on your economic value to them.

I'd rather not marry than settle for such a woman if only I could tell and I don't think I can live with such. It's a big blessing to marry someone that is kind to you.

A great post you have right there! I could try a number of ideas from here.

seunara878:
Hi, I need a matured , Christian, focused person as a friend.
I’m based in Ibadan and it’s important that you are fun to talk to and intelligent.

Preferred age range and the definition of "focused" in this context, please?

Kwinesther:
But the girl he would be marrying should be one of the prostitutes he's sleeping with.

I don't know about that sha. I don't think he's the only one that has been sleeping with those ladies.

hslbroker2:
In my own opinion it will be when I hear that in Nigeria for the next 20 years there will be constant electricity.

"Hearing" doesn't equate to "having."

No be today we don dey hear promise. Na so Light Up Nigeria 2010 come and go.

Bro, I will just advise you to repent and pray to God to both forgive and save you in Jesus name. I don't think sins of the flesh (specifically, sexual sins) are that easy to stop without the help of God.

Hey, this is not me saying you're a sinner and I am not.

However, I believe it should be easier to stop sleeping with prostitutes and call girls. Try to get yourself a lady you'd like to marry instead. You're definitely of age! Getting married would, at least, help ensure you have someone that could help fulfil your desire for intimacy.

OP, do whatever works for you and makes you happy.

Life is not meant to please someone else, except God. Generalisations should also be treated with a pinch of salt.

We're free to live whichever way we choose. But we should also be ready to accept whatever consequences come from our actions and inactions down the line. Just thinking aloud.

JobAndVacancies:
will you accept to marry a 35 year old Private school teacher earning 40k monthly.
He has all the attributes you seek for in a man

Let me help her answer: No. That's according to the realist in me. Even if she said "Yes," watch it.

You sef check am, can that amount feed someone for a month, especially in a city?

Irupetepete:
I fit perfectly into this category, single and doing well for myself but can't marry a Nigeria lady again, una no get heart and conscience....most of you people are the opposite of what you seek

But wait o, I thought they said opposites attract.

ezugegere:
If you have somebody or people looking up to you, be grateful to God.
Stop insulting them by calling it entitlement.

You won't understand. Some people could even start making fun of you in a case like this - though not directly.

This is based on personal observations. I wasn't at the receiving end.

sexyyoyo:
Ifon Orolu is very cheap to stay and enjoy cheap foods with affordable accommodation. Just ensure you don't stay close to Ilobu or Erin Osun due to the communal clash of recent. Though settled now. You have greater opportunity to invest and diversify in other areas of your choice and easily be able to build your own house. Thank me later because I make cool money from this town. I talk with experience despite my stay abroad for 4 years.

Could you share a little information about the bold portion, please?

NgeneUkwenu:
Thats why at over 50 years and I am yet to settle down. Marriage scares me.

Wow, this is interesting. I initially thought it's an older "comrade" (man) when I came across your quoted post elsewhere.

Though I am in no position to advise you, I'd say you should at least give it a try if you can. As Coldplay sang, "if you never tried, you never know." You will then be able to fully say, as another singer (Geiger?), "at least, I can say I tried" (something of the sort).

I have different fears that force me to draw conclusions. But I am also aware that those are not really valid until I have ACTUALLY tried.

SoliBayNG:
Half the time, you absolutely do not know what you are talking about. Saying Lagos is cheaper than PH.
Wow.

Don't be surprised, except you've lived in both Lagos and Rivers at about the same time.

I'm more disposed to believing what he wrote MAINLY because he included Akwa Ibom. I found that food was comparatively cheaper in Lagos when I served there years ago - even in the rural community I was. Rent in Uyo and Eket was also somewhat comparable to that in Lagos at the time.

Dexpro:
A new platform?

Or the ones we know?

Which ones did you know?

Mirasteel:
Swift

What does it take to join this group?

CodeTemplarr:
Deeply confused lot. What UI feature will the owner add that wont swell the page size? NL is known for lightweight pages that carry lots of information. Light design, few ads, no redirections to heavier pages, no malicious scripts.

This. I honestly don't understand why people complain about the looks of this forum. It's just a forum after all!

I have been a member since around January 2007 (this is not my first account) and I don't feel like it's outdated. I am not bothered. Not big on aesthetics but functionality.

It's just the dumb bots that need to be tuned. They sometimes ban without any known or justifiable cause. There's, perhaps, some improvement in this regard, though, because I have not been banned in a long time.