₦airaland Forum

Wow

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Have you always wanted to learn how to produce good MUSIC, make BEATS of many genres, MIX and MASTER or ARRANGE songs ?

Beats by Maxxie (Nigerian Idols) presents a series of well detailed Private Music Production Classes.

Maxxie is an experienced music producer and songwriter all in one and guess what?? He's ready to help u understand the ins and outs of Music Production.

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07034739101
PIN - 2A5649FA
Twitter - @beatsbymaxxie
Facebook- Maxxie

Take that bold step today.
Let's do good music together!!!

Bout time!!! Change is here! #SaiBuhari

Begonia:
This thread is a joke

Really?

Booked.

Yes! There is a disproportionate amount of black women to black men and that could be why you're still single but let's be honest- you are a serial dater and your misfortunes with men are NOT due to the gender imbalance.

YOU'RE THE REASON WHY YOU'RE STILL SINGLE!

Now before you get angry with me and throw your
computer out the window, let me explain.
It is so easy to blame external or inanimate forces
for your relational dry spell. No one likes to believe
that they are living in a self-created rut. Many black women walk around totally oblivious to the fact that they are responsible for their own relationship failures and if they could just tweak a few things, success would hasten their way.
I've given much thought to this topic and I've provided the top 10 reasons why a lot of black
women are still single. I purposefully spent more
time dealing with the most pertinent reasons
because of their importance. The list is in order and the goal of the list is to help you look introspectively, discover what applies to you, and correct it so that you can find that ideal match. Please comment and let me know what you think.

1. The "Mr. Right" Complex
Let's agree that there is no such thing as perfect!
Tragically, black women are inundated with images
of Boris Kodjoe and thoughts of Derwin from The
Game (Pooch Hall...yes Pooch) that they
subconsciously expect the guy down the street to
have the same appeal. Black women are used to
having beauty shop talks about what a man needs to be (Height, weight, income, bone structure etc...).
They end up creating a caricature from a Disney film rather than an actual man and then become
dogmatic about finding someone with EVERY
desired characteristic. Inevitably, when they meet
Tyrone from down the street, they become dejected because he falls short of their lofty expectations, even though Tyrone is a really good guy. Ladies, here's some advice...PRIORITIZE!
Write a list of the 10-15 things you want in a guy. Be detailed but reject the tendency to enter into a fairy tale world. Once you write your list, at the top of it write '70% - 80%'. If you can find a guy that possesses 70 to 80 percent of your list with two or three qualities in your top ten, YOU'VE FOUND A GREAT CATCH! It would be ridiculous if I rejected 100% of a delicious cake because 20% of it was burned. I'd just discard the 20% and delight my palate with the other 80%.
Every human being is a W.I.P. (Work In Progress)
and if you learn to prioritize your preferences, you'll find a man that has most of the qualities you want and a willingness to develop in his deficient areas.

2. Just Can't Pick 'Em
The cheater, the deadbeat, the narcissist, the beady- eyed thug you've been through them all. The old saying that good guys finish last is true because you've shunned the warm-natured gentile fellows for the riff-raff. Like a moth drawn to a campfire, you gravitate toward the "bad boys", and you regularly get burned for it. Consider this, a
championship college football team is crafted by
wooing and scouting the BEST recruits. The head
coach scours the country looking for the best talent
and he will not rest until he discovers the next Cam
Newton (He's the Heisman Trophy winning quarterback from Auburn University).
He meticulously puts together a winning team by
focusing on the value of each individual recruit.
Now, think about the last ten guys that you have
dated. Think about their strengths, weaknesses, and think about why and how the relationship dissolved.
Once you have the ten guys in your mind ask
yourself this question, do those ten individuals
make up one collective winning team? If your
answer is NOT a resounding yes, then you need to
do some soul searching. Why are you drawn to guys
that don't match well with you? Why do you
consistently pick the loser? Is there some historical
event that has skewed your ability to make wise
dating choices? Hopefully, you will find the answers
to these questions so that your next pick will be the right one.

3. Overly I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T
She-Ra was a cartoon character in the '80's with
spectacular abilities. She was extremely strong and
she wielded a sword that could transform her into
an unstoppable super-being. She was the epitome
of independent because she didn't take any crap
from anyone. Although She-Ra was intensely fun to
watch on TV, I imagine that she wouldn't be a very
fun date. She-Ra wouldn't allow a man to open the
car door and she definitely wouldn't allow a man to
pay for her dinner. She would show up to the date
flaunting her ability to suplex robots and communicate with animals and she would belittle
her date's meager human contributions. Did you
ever notice that She-Ra never had a man? Maybe
you're still single because you come across as a 21st
Century She-Ra. You've acquired a great job, college degree, and shiny new sedan by the sweat of your own brow. You never looked to a man to give you anything and you make that clear on every date that you go on. Here's the problem, most men want a semi-traditional woman. This doesn't mean that men want a doormat; a semi-traditional woman is a woman that is assertive when it's called for but not too insecure to encourage and welcome a man's leadership. A semi-traditional woman doesn't get offended when a man asks her to cook his dinner, yet she expects that he's going to return the favor sometime later in the week. If a woman rejects a man's initial acts of chivalry on a date, he interprets it as a clear indication of her overly feminist, girl- centric personality and he quickly becomes disinterested. Remember, the character She-Ra was only an alter ego. She-Ra was actually Princess Adora but she transformed into She-Ra whenever it was time for battle. Ladies, learn how to be She-Rain battle but a princess in life.

4. Pushing the BIG "C" too soon
I must admit, I'm a sucker for a good romance. I
tend to fall early and quickly which is undoubtedly
why I ended up married at 18. Most guys are the
exact opposite of me. Guys tend to treat
commitment like it's the plague. It's not that they're totally opposed to the idea, it's just that they feel like commitment should be a gradual destination rather than a hurried first stop. Imagine that commitment is an apple. It begins as a hard inedible seed with only the potential to be a desirable fruit. With the right amount of time and dedicated nurturing, the seed will grow into a ripe and delicious treat. No matter how insistent and overbearing you are, you cannot force the apple to grow at a quicker pace. It grows and blossoms on its own.
When you try to make a man your husband after the first three- weeks of dating, it leaves a sour taste in his mouth much like an unripened apple would. It's not that there isn't the potential for the friendship to blossom into an exclusive dating situation; it's simply that much nurturing and time is necessary for the relationship to transition from seed-form to ripe for harvesting. I know that you've been single for a long time and your clock is ticking louder than it ever has, but just remember, love is like food; a microwaved meal can never measure up to the quality of what comes out of a slow cooker.

5. Making the new guy pay for the old guy's mistakes

Being bitter and acrimonious is a state of mind.
Unfortunately, you're the governor of that state.
Sure, you have a valid reason to be upset. You were
lied to, cheated on, abandoned and/or abused. Your ex was a scoundrel and he did unspeakable things to you. He hurt you deeply and you're still bearing the scars. There's only one problem, the tumultuous relationship ended when you were in your twenties.
You've had ten years to heal and you're still hurting
as if the wound was freshly made. Of course you'll
never admit that you haven't recovered from the
breakup, but the evidence of your emotional
stagnancy comes out when you meet a new man.
The poor guy is unaware of the fact that you have
triggers, so when he says, "I think you look nice in
red. I'd like to see you wear that color more often".
He's shocked when you go off on a tirade about how you can't stand controlling men and how you'll
never let a man manipulate you again. He's
oblivious to the fact that you're not responding to
him, you're responding to the poor treatment you
received at the hands of a previous reckless man. If
you're honest with yourself, you'd have to admit that you've developed an adverse reaction to anything that even remotely reminds you of your ex.
You have determined that you're not going to let anyone devalue you the way that he did. Unfortunately, your guarded approach to men makes it hard for you to offer any man a clean slate. You enter a dating situation suspiciously which makes it difficult for you to connect with anyone. Although you'll never forget what happened to you, you MUST forgive.
Your desire to hold a grudge and constantly relive
your most painful moments is what's keeping you
from finding love. Men will only endure unfair
associations for so long before they decide to find a
woman that will give them a fresh chance. Ladies,
it's time to move forward and realize that the new
man deserves an opportunity to show you that he's
NOT the old one.

6. Giving up the Goodies Prematurely
The Sega Genesis was a popular game console
when I was in middle and high school. It kept me
entertained for hours and staved off weekend
boredom. The third game that I bought for my Sega system was called Arch Rivals. It was a basketball game that allowed the player to punch and slam the opposing team members. When I bought the game I was so excited! I couldn't wait to get home and pulverize my computer-generated rivals. I played the game for only three days before I discovered how to beat it. Once I conquered the game, I quickly became disinterested in it and it spent the rest of its life buried underneath clothes in my closet. Dating is a game with the ultimate prize being a committed relationship and maybe even marriage. The way that you play the game will determine how you will be viewed by the gentleman that's trying to court you. If you give away too much too soon, he will view you
as initially exciting but ultimately unfulfilling. If you require that he passes necessary levels in order to receive certain rewards, then he will remain
interested and engaged. Now, when I use the word
"goodies" I'm not just talking about sex. Of course
sex is the ultimate goody, but time, money, and gifts can also be considered goodies. You should
calculate how and when you distribute these things.
Giving everything away too soon makes you naïve
and giving away too much makes you a human ATM
machine. Remember, naiveté is the character flaw
that keeps women from being taken seriously and
an ATM machine wasn't built to be respected, it was built to be used.

7. Beauty but no Substance
Every head turned as she entered the grocery store.
Her curvaceous body seemed to glide up and down
each isle. The chestnut tiling only accentuated the
color of her skin and her flowing black hair swayed
rhythmically with each step she took. She was
gorgeous and she was approaching Walter with a
bewildered look on her face. "Excuse me sir," she
began, "I was wondering if you could help me."
Walter gulped with anxiety as he gazed helplessly
into her amber eyes, "Sure" he stammered. "I've
been searching this store for nearly 30 minutes and
I can't seem to find the earl," she said. Walter's look of infatuation quickly turned into puzzlement,
"You're looking for what?" "I'm looking for the earl
and I can't find it anywhere." At this point, Walter
could no longer hide his perplexity; he squinted as
he tried desperately to figure out what earl was.
"Ma'am," Walter started, "I have no idea what earl
is." She thought for a moment and responded, "You
know, earl. I'm looking for cooking earl. I'm trying to fry chicken and I need cooking earl to do it." As hard as he tried, Walter couldn't ignore the hilarity of the moment. He busted out in laughter as he asked, "Are you talking about cooking oil?" The woman grinned in pleasure, "Yes, that's what I said- earl."
Walter pointed to isle 7, "It's right down there
ma'am." She winked at Walter and walked briskly
toward isle 7. Walter chuckled to himself as he
thought about the unlikely encounter. The woman
was so beautiful but her beauty only covered the
tragic fact that she was brainless. It looked as
though she spent ample amounts of time and
money on her looks but judging by her grammar,
she probably hadn't read a book since high school.
"It's a shame," Walter whispered under his breath,
"She could've been the one." Enough said!

8. The Know- it- All
Normally, men are pegged as the gender with the
infallibility-complex but with the advent of the
women's lib movement, women have increasingly
become the know-it-alls. It's not uncommon for a
childless and single black woman to offer marital
and parenting advice to her married girlfriend. In
black beauty shops all across the country women
cackle about what men are and aren't. They fail to
realize that they really know nothing about men and what they do know is so skewed that it borders on irrelevant. Unfortunately, in beauty shops (and in barbershops) unenlightened conversation is
encouraged rather than condemned. The seemingly
harmless banter that takes place quickly becomes
ingrained beliefs and those beliefs become
entrenched opinions. The problem exists when a
man shares an objective truth about himself or men in general and before he completes his sentence you rudely interrupt by saying, "Oh no, that's not true." See, he knows it's true! How does he know it's true? He's a man! Yet you argue incessantly because you think your beliefs are right and his are misguided. Do you see the problem? The only solution to this problem is to speak authoritatively ONLY about what you're knowledgeable on. If you know fashion, speak about fashion. If you know sports, dazzle him with your precise football analysis. Don't take a hardline stance on what you're not absolutely sure you know about. A man appreciates a woman that is intellectually curious and open to learn. Ladies, this might be a hard pill to swallow, but your mamma, grandmamma, and aunty are not the best sources of male education. If these honorable women have been your sole teachers on male issues then it's time to be reeducated. The best way to learn about men is to listen to one.

9. A Less Than Stellar History
The fact that double standards exists is a sad reality in our society. The most unfortunate double- standard happens when a promiscuous man is viewed as a hero and a promiscuous woman is
viewed as a LovePeddler. I wish we could abolish double-
standards altogether but unfortunately, they are
what they are. Secretly, every single man harbors a
desire for his future wife to be able to validly wear
her white wedding gown. He cringes when he meets a wonderful prospect only to later find out that she's been around the block. Ladies, let me be candid, no man wants to be committed to a woman that has slept with half the state. He might have his temporary fun with such a woman, but he will never settle down with her. Everyone has things in their past that they're not necessarily proud of. If you have had multiple sexual encounters, my best
advice is to divulge this information once trust has
been established in the relationship. Avoid the sex
conversation until you are convinced that he won't
judge you unfairly. It's a sad commentary on our
society when an oversexed man can find love easier
than his female counterpart, but unfortunately that's the reality. Don't share your past until you're
absolutely sure that he can handle it.

10. My friend, my brother, my mamma said...
This reason is the exact opposite of reason #3.
Women that suffer from 'Everybody Else Said
Syndrome' view the input of others as law. Critical
decisions aren't made without the approval of a
certain person or group of people and every
sentence is prefaced by, "My friend/brother/
mamma said...". A forward-looking man will NEVER settle down with a woman that thinks with someone else's brain. He realizes that during the casual dating phase of the relationship it might be okay for her to reach out to others, but in marriage this tendency is detrimental. In marriage, both parties must be willing to settle their own issues in house.
Actually, the Bible says that a married couple should cleave to one another and become one flesh. A woman that is overly dependent on another person or other people will never be able to fulfill that mandate. Ladies, I know you value your homegirl's opinion and you hang off of every word your mother says, but if you want to find a man, you're going to have to learn the value of self-consultation.
You will never be a man's kitten if you're committed. - ( Culled from an Ezine source on the internet )

I'm a producer and vocal coach. I stay in ogbomosho and ilorin. U can me chat up on 07034739101.

Pictures of the kidneys or idonbilivit

Pls drop urs. Hope dats is ok?

Ehen! U shld av said so. Izit avast or avg? They can pack things chop like anything. U need 2 go 2 d virus chest (statistics-components- viruschest ) or something like dat on avast. Then u need 2 restore the files in the virus chest that was chopped. Wen u now do and it still didn't work? Restart. If it still doesn't. My broda, just reinstall windows jeje. Don't compound probs 4 urself.

no. they will store in the "windows old" folder that is on ur hard disk. this applies only if u reinstall windows. av u tried the other approaches??

Maybe u selected a diff sound driver (e.g. ASIO from various sound production softwares). Restart the computer. If it persists, reinstall the virtual dj. If it still occurs, just restore the computer or reinstall windows jeje.

Simply put, the way this country is stuctured, coupled with the events that occurred prompting the war and the fear of igbo domination and the creation of the biafra state, igbos may not smell presidency for a really long time.
With their prowess in business though, only if they change their mentality that money is not only for show off and prestige gains,they can rule underneath and call shots.

Clears land.

Area boys are surely the masters of knots and ties.

Area boys are surely the master of knots and ties.

Local women can bite while fighting ehn...!

We all know what is happening in these ISIS infested countries. They kill christians, non christians and secular muslims. This is the whole population of this country.... So should we say we are not already targeted??
Please do not politicize this issue.

We all know what is happening in these ISIS infested countries. They kill christians, non christians and secular muslims. This is the whole population of this country.... So should we say we are not already targeted??

My heart raced as I struggled to wake up and get rid of the awful nightmre I just had. Eventually I did wake up. Not without a pounding heart and adrenaline filling all the corners of my body.

The text I saw from my friend bola was devastating enough to start a morning. All he wrote was,"**** is being attacked".(Name of town withheld(still basking in the fear)). I tried waking up but my body couldn't beat the fatigue I accumulated from the gym presses and treadmill from yesterday.
I started hearing wailings and vehicle rumblings from my bed... And still my lazy body won't agree to its master. I heard a loud thud and my numb body had to wake up it self. I thought it was an IED. I was gone already. It was when my head got settled I realised that my environment and my brain was playing tricks on me. The wailings was rustlings of leaves from a nearby tree and tyres from cars from the expressroad. The loud thud was the main gates crashing to the wall as the winds would have it. Alas, I am still safe! Safe I just said ?? I hope mehn...
With the news that ISIS and bokoharam just did exchanged negative pleasantries, I don't think as a christian or a secular muslim, I am say that I am safe anymore.

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant(ISIL) also known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria or Islamic State of Iraq and ash-Sham(ISIS) or Islamic State is an Islamic extremist rebel group controlling territory in Iraq and Syria, with operations in eastern Libya, the Sinai Peninsula of Egypt, and other areas of the Middle East,North Africa, South Asia and Southeast Asia. The group is known in Arabicasad-Dawlat al-Islāmiyah fī al-ʿIrāq wa sh-Shām, leading to the Arabic acronym Da'ishor DAESH.
On 29 June 2014, the group proclaimed itself to be a worldwide caliphate with Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi being named its caliph and also renamed itselfIslamic State. The new name has been widely criticised and condemned, with the UN, various governments, and mainstream Muslim groups refusing to acknowledge it. As caliphate, it claims religious, political and military authority over all Muslimsworldwide and that "the legality of all emirates, groups, states, and organisations, becomes null by the expansion of the khilāfah's (caliphate's) authority and arrival of its troops to their areas". Many Islamic and non-Islamic communities judgethe group unrepresentative of Islam.
The United Nations has held ISIL responsible for human rights abuses and war crimes, and Amnesty Internationalhas reported ethnic cleansingby the group on a "historic scale". The group has been designatedas a terrorist organisation by the United Nations, the European Union, the United Kingdom, the United States, Australia, Canada, Indonesia, Malaysia, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Syria, Iraq, Israel, Egypt, India, and Russia. Over 60 countries are directly or indirectly waging war against ISIL.
The group originated as Jama'at al-Tawhid wal-Jihadin 1999, which was renamed Tanzim Qaidat al-Jihad fi Bilad al-Rafidayn—commonly known as al-Qaeda in Iraq (AQI)—when the group pledged allegiance to al-Qaedain 2004. AsJama'atand later AQI, the group participated, from August 2003, in the Iraqi insurgencywhich had followed the March 2003 invasion of Iraq. In January 2006, it joined other Sunni insurgent groups to form the Mujahideen Shura Council, which in October 2006 proclaimed the formation of the Islamic State of Iraq(ISI). ISI gained a significant presence in Al Anbar Governorate, Diyala Governorate and Baghdad Governorate.

Under the leadership of al-Baghdadi, ISI sent delegates into Syria in August 2011 after the Syrian Civil Warhad begun in March 2011. This offshoot named itself Jabhat an-Nuṣrah li-Ahli ash-Shāmor al-Nusra Front and established a large presence in Sunni-majority areas of Syria within the governorates of Ar-Raqqah, Idlib, Deir ez-Zorand Aleppo. Having thus expanded into Syria, al-Baghdadi announced the merger of his ISI with his Syrian-based offshoot-group al-Nusra Front in April 2013, and changed the name of the reunited group toIslamic State of Iraq and the Levant(ISIL). However, both al-Julani, the leader of al-Nusra, and al-Zawahiri, the leader of al-Qaeda, rejected the merger. The group remained closely linked to al-Qaeda until February 2014, when after an eight-month power struggle, al-Qaeda cut all ties with ISIL—citing its failure to consult and "notorious intransigence". On 29 June 2014, the group renamed itself the Islamic State (IS).
ISIL is known for its well-funded web and social media propaganda, which includes Internet videos of the beheadings of soldiers, civilians, journalists, and aid workers, as well as the deliberate destruction of cultural heritage sites. To finance its activities, the organisation is also stealing ancient artefacts from Syria and Iraq.
The group gained notoriety after it drove the Iraqi government forces out of key western cities in Iraq. In Syria, it conducted ground attacks against both government forces and rebel factions in the Syrian Civil War. It gained those territories after an offensive, initiated in early 2014, which senior US military commanders and members of the US House Committee on Foreign Affairs saw as a re-emergence of Sunni insurgents and al-Qaeda militants. This territorial loss implied a failure of US foreign policy, and almost caused a collapse of the Iraqi government that required renewal of US military action in Iraq.

On 7 March 2015, Boko Haram swore formal allegiance to ISIL giving ISIL an official presence in Nigeria, Niger, Chad, and Cameroon. ISIS also returned the favour by accepting them.
Please, am I afraid for no just reason?

Fayose - A person who is playing with d allocation of his people when buhari wins the election.

See as that baba beside her dey study the jugs like say na some covert mission's coordinates.

According to Morakinyo Olugbiji (Journalist/PR), below are the worst Nigerian hit songs of 2014...
Someone once told me that the type of music a society listens to is a reflection of that society; therefore the chaotic music that has in recent time rented the Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of the chaotic state the country is in. It looks like in the history of Nigerian music, 2014 has the highest rate of bad, garbage music being churned out. From watered down lyrics that do not correlate, to singing different songs on same beat, the state of the industry leaves much to be desired. Below are my top 10 picks of worst hit songs of the year 2014. You may or may not agree with me though. Some of you may also need to listen to these songs carefully to understand my points well. Continue...10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word go!
He started like this "Five star music, E money, Its Kcee labalo". What is 'KCee Lobalo'? Is 'Lobalo' French or Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said "Cecilia bum bum, cecilia bum bum, Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia bum". I don't know what's with Cecilia's bum bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like this.."Oya whine ni ni whine ni ni Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni, shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya whine ni ni whine ni ni, Whine ni ni for me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh".
Somewhere, he said "Oya Jikere, baby"...
As if that wasn't enough, he also repeats this severally;
"Oya baby no wahala, If you need anything just hala, I be monkey you be banana.."
Hellooo, did he just call himself a monkey...
Then in the middle of these discordant lyrics, this monkey will jump to the lame chorus "Hakuna Matata, Hakuna mata, Baby No Wahala" repeatedly.
9. Story For The Gods By Olamide
Here is a song I wish would quickly go away. Beautiful rhythm, but this song glorifies rape and abuse of women in all its entirety. Story for the gods is all about getting loaded with local aphrodisiac(Dongoyaro,Monkey Tail and Claro), then going ahead to having a forceful carnal knowledge of a lady. The phrase "Story for the gods" (means to refuse to listen, deaf ears etc) Let's take a look...
CHORUS:
Mo ti mu dongoyaro, dongoyaro, dongoyaro And monkey tail, monkey tail, monkey tail
Aro bami gbe claro, claro o, claro o(Olamide is saying that he is high on those Aphrodisiac)
I want to do sina today, sina today(sina means fornication)
She said she cannot wait o(the girl wants to go home)
She said its getting late o(it's getting late)
She said she want to faint o
Ah, story for the gods(these last four lines needs no explaining. Olamide refuses to listen to her plea)
Now she saying mo r'ogo(she says she is finished)
O ti kan mi l'apa o(he has broken my arms)
O ti kan mi l'eyin o(he has broken my back)
Story for the gods, the gods o( but Olamide would have none of that!)
VERSE 1:
O my God insanity
See your back calamity
Girl I want to have it(ofcourse you know what he wants to have)
Do I need your permit?(and he is invariably saying that he doesn't need her permission to have it)
8. In my bed by Wizkid
It's been long established that this song by Wizkid is a total rubbish, which like the others on this list parades lyrics and verses that have no business whatsoever with one another. The song na real Americana Wonder like he sang... "Americana wonder,The way you whine your body Gimme thunder, I go follow you bumper to bumper Girl, I go follow you bumper to fender,"
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder, bumper to fender.. Issorait)...
But the most fraudulent part of the song is where Wizkid continues to sing about wanting a girl's body in his bed, and then suddenly switched to hailing names of some popular figures. You'd have thought he was trying to invite them for a Group Intimacy...
"I want your body sleeping in my bed e, I want your body sleeping in my bed e, You got me going crazy, Oh girl I can't explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl I can't replace you."
Some of the names he called..Agbaje eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan, Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always gives me stomach ache, because I really don't know what 'serving a living God' has to do with getting a girl's body in your bed and what blessing is there to get..."...Oh blessing follow me everywhere I go, I'm serving the living God,And everywhere I go, all my people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan"
Ok, so what's the reason gan sef? And on top of all dis matter wey dey ground, wizkid believes that he is amazing.
Hear him.."Oh anytime, they hear my song They say I'm amazing gan".
Well, it's truly amazing that a small boy like him can make so much money and stardom with all that lyrical hogwash. Issorait!
7. Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014. Don Jazzy is a great producer no doubt, but he and his artistes have a history of churning out garbage. Dorobucci is so meaningless some people began to doro-call it doro-occultic. Doro bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro....doro. Where I come from in Oyo state, Doro is that rubber device used in drawing up water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where an artiste will just wake up early in the morning and find out that PHCN has brought back power supply, then out of joy he'll dash straight to the studio to record a song about UP NEPA! He'll call that an inspiration. Even Don Jazzy himself is yet to come out straight about the meaning of Doro, because the truth is that it has no meaning. A lot of people are speaking well of the maturity of Davido's song because the boy knows well to pay for the services of professional songwriters.
6. Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time, however I had no choice but to like it after people won't stop playing it everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did absolutely nothing to stop people from rocking this song which had the artiste mostly screaming "Shoki Ahhh Shoki". Davido however disappointed me this time around for accepting to feature in this kind of song. He ended up chanting the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL crew in the remix.Hear him;"Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, and the request say shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki... i am looking for that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if you get case for body, the town will go make you the shawty,david please don't stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun."
Those are the words our generation is digesting and we wonder why over 70% of candidates failed the last private WAEC and there is massive failure especially in English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of 200 "Shoki ahh Shoki" in this song!
5. Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You sef check out part of the lyrics na...
" Oya shake body, Oya move body,Make you ring alarm o, Oya shake body...Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige, Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere"
Now, what's all that about
4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Shaydee & Patoranking
If you listen to this song, even though it featured Patoranking and Shaydee, all you will hear for most part of the song is "She say she wan murder, he say he wan murder, she say he wan do that thing ye" Do wetin? Murder who You be Oscar Pistorious? ...
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2 of the song where Patoranking came in again..
"Stay close to me, baby girl come in here porn, Give other girls resist, them fit hate on, Member and you alone me rate hun, Even your friends them fit hate on, Fire burning, Girl I'll keep you coming,Say you no go running, Every time, girl you keep turning."
That's Patoranking, Nigeria's best Reggae singer at the moment? SMH!
3. Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb which says that when a child is due for maturity, he/she must put aside every childishness.
After many years and despite their A-list status in the industry couple with their global experience, the Psquare duo are obviously not getting matured at all with the dissapointing inclusion of the track "Shekini" in their latest album. I won't speak too much, see the lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way...
"P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]), Yahn ahn"
**who is Allen for crying out loud?**
Then, they said "Lets go...Otu de, oya sare wa gba kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti de, oya burukutu make e sarabara owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya shekina na na na na." (And what is "Burukutu" doing in there.)
Folks, don't be fooled, the lyrics sounds like Yoruba but it's not correct Yoruba but a mumbo-jumbo!
Another constant in the song is this verse; "I get power (ah), me I no dey bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey Ronaldo," then they jump to this lyrics "Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it (ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)".
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the Alhaji is supposed to drink the burukutu they mentioned above.
2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I'm sorry KCee has to be in this list a second time. Personally, I'm kind of confused about him. Maybe his music is not that awkward. Maybe it's his gesticulations/dance steps in his videos, costumes or tone of his singing voice or his general fashion sense that is awkward and give off an impression of his songs from that perspective. I'm yet to place a finger on what it is. Most of the people I've asked have mixed reactions as well. They really' can't say. Ogaranya has a good meaning; A rich person or something like that. Some things are just wrong with part of the lyrics and Davido once again rubbished his own brand on this one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
"A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del'B...
Its Davido,Kcee
Big Boy, E-money"
Now, even though there is a funny way they keep repeating Ogaranya, I really don't have a problem with the Chorus which goes thus;
"Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look ogaranya, My God dey bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya heyyy...
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The ladies like ogaranya, That's why them dey love me"
However, the next statement is what I really don't get...
"The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey for body like logo"..(which place is he talking about? Which place is so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as his contribution does not relate at all. He sang..
"Girl I want you to know, The way you see no be so.., E get as the thing dey go, So baby you take am slow(Asin??) Shey na now you dey notice,(notice wetin) Abi u think I be novice, You know say I know say you get it, Money dey(I thought Davido is supposed to be the Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya make we blow things"(now that is a Boko Haram alert. Beware guys.)
1. Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. 'Sex' has been replaced with 'eh' but the rest of the lyrics is still as worse as the original. You can imagine my embarrasment the first time I heard this song on Channel O. You know how Naija artistes like to cover up sexual explicitness with slangs? This brazen artiste called Blackmagic didn't cover up anything. Lol. Though the song was released in December 2013, I feel it's as good as being a 2014 song and should be on this list to show you how bad the music industry has become and what your children are listening to. Here is a part of the song;
"...So stop the fronting, Is what I told this girl,And her body oh oh, Just wanna get next to you, Just wanna have sex with you, I swear I want this girl and her body o o".
You na never see anything, continue..
"1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I'm splitting a dozen like 3, 5, 4,I am already sky high, but I need to high more, And my dumb friend told me that I need high malt Ewo."...
(Did you see what this guy is singing? Isn't he as dumb as his dumb friends? Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are).
See another one here...
"Baby girl what's cooking in the kitchen, I love the way you smile, maybe we should start kissing, Listen 30 seconds, then she takes a bra missing, Turn into a small kitten, And after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a river, And then I start fishing into her hot body, I begin to start dipping, Her clothes just start missing".
Hmm,Guys what more can I say? Behold, your favourite music in 2014!

According to Morakinyo Olugbiji (Journalist/PR), below are the worst Nigerian hit songs of 2014...
Someone once told me that the type of music a society listens to is a reflection of that society; therefore the chaotic music that has in recent time rented the Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of the chaotic state the country is in. It looks like in the history of Nigerian music, 2014 has the highest rate of bad, garbage music being churned out. From watered down lyrics that do not correlate, to singing different songs on same beat, the state of the industry leaves much to be desired. Below are my top 10 picks of worst hit songs of the year 2014. You may or may not agree with me though. Some of you may also need to listen to these songs carefully to understand my points well. Continue...10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word go!
He started like this "Five star music, E money, Its Kcee labalo". What is 'KCee Lobalo'? Is 'Lobalo' French or Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said "Cecilia bum bum, cecilia bum bum, Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia bum". I don't know what's with Cecilia's bum bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like this.."Oya whine ni ni whine ni ni Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni, shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya whine ni ni whine ni ni, Whine ni ni for me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh".
Somewhere, he said "Oya Jikere, baby"...
As if that wasn't enough, he also repeats this severally;
"Oya baby no wahala, If you need anything just hala, I be monkey you be banana.."
Hellooo, did he just call himself a monkey...
Then in the middle of these discordant lyrics, this monkey will jump to the lame chorus "Hakuna Matata, Hakuna mata, Baby No Wahala" repeatedly.
9. Story For The Gods By Olamide
Here is a song I wish would quickly go away. Beautiful rhythm, but this song glorifies rape and abuse of women in all its entirety. Story for the gods is all about getting loaded with local aphrodisiac(Dongoyaro,Monkey Tail and Claro), then going ahead to having a forceful carnal knowledge of a lady. The phrase "Story for the gods" (means to refuse to listen, deaf ears etc) Let's take a look...
CHORUS:
Mo ti mu dongoyaro, dongoyaro, dongoyaro And monkey tail, monkey tail, monkey tail
Aro bami gbe claro, claro o, claro o(Olamide is saying that he is high on those Aphrodisiac)
I want to do sina today, sina today(sina means fornication)
She said she cannot wait o(the girl wants to go home)
She said its getting late o(it's getting late)
She said she want to faint o
Ah, story for the gods(these last four lines needs no explaining. Olamide refuses to listen to her plea)
Now she saying mo r'ogo(she says she is finished)
O ti kan mi l'apa o(he has broken my arms)
O ti kan mi l'eyin o(he has broken my back)
Story for the gods, the gods o( but Olamide would have none of that!)
VERSE 1:
O my God insanity
See your back calamity
Girl I want to have it(ofcourse you know what he wants to have)
Do I need your permit?(and he is invariably saying that he doesn't need her permission to have it)
8. In my bed by Wizkid
It's been long established that this song by Wizkid is a total rubbish, which like the others on this list parades lyrics and verses that have no business whatsoever with one another. The song na real Americana Wonder like he sang... "Americana wonder,The way you whine your body Gimme thunder, I go follow you bumper to bumper Girl, I go follow you bumper to fender,"
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder, bumper to fender.. Issorait)...
But the most fraudulent part of the song is where Wizkid continues to sing about wanting a girl's body in his bed, and then suddenly switched to hailing names of some popular figures. You'd have thought he was trying to invite them for a Group Intimacy...
"I want your body sleeping in my bed e, I want your body sleeping in my bed e, You got me going crazy, Oh girl I can't explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl I can't replace you."
Some of the names he called..Agbaje eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan, Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always gives me stomach ache, because I really don't know what 'serving a living God' has to do with getting a girl's body in your bed and what blessing is there to get..."...Oh blessing follow me everywhere I go, I'm serving the living God,And everywhere I go, all my people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan"
Ok, so what's the reason gan sef? And on top of all dis matter wey dey ground, wizkid believes that he is amazing.
Hear him.."Oh anytime, they hear my song They say I'm amazing gan".
Well, it's truly amazing that a small boy like him can make so much money and stardom with all that lyrical hogwash. Issorait!
7. Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014. Don Jazzy is a great producer no doubt, but he and his artistes have a history of churning out garbage. Dorobucci is so meaningless some people began to doro-call it doro-occultic. Doro bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro....doro. Where I come from in Oyo state, Doro is that rubber device used in drawing up water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where an artiste will just wake up early in the morning and find out that PHCN has brought back power supply, then out of joy he'll dash straight to the studio to record a song about UP NEPA! He'll call that an inspiration. Even Don Jazzy himself is yet to come out straight about the meaning of Doro, because the truth is that it has no meaning. A lot of people are speaking well of the maturity of Davido's song because the boy knows well to pay for the services of professional songwriters.
6. Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time, however I had no choice but to like it after people won't stop playing it everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did absolutely nothing to stop people from rocking this song which had the artiste mostly screaming "Shoki Ahhh Shoki". Davido however disappointed me this time around for accepting to feature in this kind of song. He ended up chanting the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL crew in the remix.Hear him;"Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, and the request say shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki... i am looking for that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if you get case for body, the town will go make you the shawty,david please don't stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun."
Those are the words our generation is digesting and we wonder why over 70% of candidates failed the last private WAEC and there is massive failure especially in English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of 200 "Shoki ahh Shoki" in this song!
5. Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You sef check out part of the lyrics na...
" Oya shake body, Oya move body,Make you ring alarm o, Oya shake body...Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige, Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere"
Now, what's all that about
4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Shaydee & Patoranking
If you listen to this song, even though it featured Patoranking and Shaydee, all you will hear for most part of the song is "She say she wan murder, he say he wan murder, she say he wan do that thing ye" Do wetin? Murder who You be Oscar Pistorious? ...
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2 of the song where Patoranking came in again..
"Stay close to me, baby girl come in here porn, Give other girls resist, them fit hate on, Member and you alone me rate hun, Even your friends them fit hate on, Fire burning, Girl I'll keep you coming,Say you no go running, Every time, girl you keep turning."
That's Patoranking, Nigeria's best Reggae singer at the moment? SMH!
3. Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb which says that when a child is due for maturity, he/she must put aside every childishness.
After many years and despite their A-list status in the industry couple with their global experience, the Psquare duo are obviously not getting matured at all with the dissapointing inclusion of the track "Shekini" in their latest album. I won't speak too much, see the lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way...
"P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]), Yahn ahn"
**who is Allen for crying out loud?**
Then, they said "Lets go...Otu de, oya sare wa gba kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti de, oya burukutu make e sarabara owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya shekina na na na na." (And what is "Burukutu" doing in there.)
Folks, don't be fooled, the lyrics sounds like Yoruba but it's not correct Yoruba but a mumbo-jumbo!
Another constant in the song is this verse; "I get power (ah), me I no dey bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey Ronaldo," then they jump to this lyrics "Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it (ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)".
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the Alhaji is supposed to drink the burukutu they mentioned above.
2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I'm sorry KCee has to be in this list a second time. Personally, I'm kind of confused about him. Maybe his music is not that awkward. Maybe it's his gesticulations/dance steps in his videos, costumes or tone of his singing voice or his general fashion sense that is awkward and give off an impression of his songs from that perspective. I'm yet to place a finger on what it is. Most of the people I've asked have mixed reactions as well. They really' can't say. Ogaranya has a good meaning; A rich person or something like that. Some things are just wrong with part of the lyrics and Davido once again rubbished his own brand on this one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
"A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del'B...
Its Davido,Kcee
Big Boy, E-money"
Now, even though there is a funny way they keep repeating Ogaranya, I really don't have a problem with the Chorus which goes thus;
"Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look ogaranya, My God dey bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya heyyy...
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The ladies like ogaranya, That's why them dey love me"
However, the next statement is what I really don't get...
"The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey for body like logo"..(which place is he talking about? Which place is so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as his contribution does not relate at all. He sang..
"Girl I want you to know, The way you see no be so.., E get as the thing dey go, So baby you take am slow(Asin??) Shey na now you dey notice,(notice wetin) Abi u think I be novice, You know say I know say you get it, Money dey(I thought Davido is supposed to be the Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya make we blow things"(now that is a Boko Haram alert. Beware guys.)
1. Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. 'Sex' has been replaced with 'eh' but the rest of the lyrics is still as worse as the original. You can imagine my embarrasment the first time I heard this song on Channel O. You know how Naija artistes like to cover up sexual explicitness with slangs? This brazen artiste called Blackmagic didn't cover up anything. Lol. Though the song was released in December 2013, I feel it's as good as being a 2014 song and should be on this list to show you how bad the music industry has become and what your children are listening to. Here is a part of the song;
"...So stop the fronting, Is what I told this girl,And her body oh oh, Just wanna get next to you, Just wanna have sex with you, I swear I want this girl and her body o o".
You na never see anything, continue..
"1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I'm splitting a dozen like 3, 5, 4,I am already sky high, but I need to high more, And my dumb friend told me that I need high malt Ewo."...
(Did you see what this guy is singing? Isn't he as dumb as his dumb friends? Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are).
See another one here...
"Baby girl what's cooking in the kitchen, I love the way you smile, maybe we should start kissing, Listen 30 seconds, then she takes a bra missing, Turn into a small kitten, And after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a river, And then I start fishing into her hot body, I begin to start dipping, Her clothes just start missing".
Hmm,Guys what more can I say? Behold, your favourite music in 2014!

TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

The fault in our stars mehn... Dat movie is really amazing.

Christians of nowadays...
I'm sick and tired of em bull-issh...
Trying 2 act holier than the Lord God himself and not know that's this holiness of a subject separates humans and God in quadrillion nanomiles.
Even the modern day church is now logically treating the word of God to suit our corrupt lifestyle...
When a niggur knows the texts in the bible and he can speak fairly well, make people scared of some unseen enemies and he can rake in cash for some sponsors who r in the church's board, then voila!!! He's a "pastor"!!
And "christians" be trying to please gods of men who call themselves Men of God.
They put on clothes n hats by copying the dress sense of their "mummy G.O. all in the name of trying to act "a character" or style their hair like their overseers for eye-service reasons or any other reasons best known to them.
Some even copy the talking style of their leaders in church!!! Yes! I mean the voice!
Geez!!

I can't stress enough that what you really are is what u do and think when no one's looking...

I don't care if u didn't pierce ur earlobes or u don't drink.
You read the Bible every dawning of the day or u pray for hours.
You avoid the so called sinners so that they don't "infect" an already sin infested you... You carry a study bible on your chest everywhere you go... Even in school classrooms and offices !! Niggur, IS YOU OK??!!
Doesn't it make u uncomfortable carrying such text by hand when u av ur body to act it??
You act like anything that comes from a bar is a sin to ingest, including peppersoup, eva water and even coleslaw!!
Or maybe someone told u som'n in confidence and you snitched by making a subject outta it in church??
Countless things mehn...
You people this talks to, please attack me. I am a christian...and proudly I must say. Not like I'm a buddhist , a zoroaster or anything.
Dis is just a nigga pouring out his mind for all to see what the people u call brethren do.
The church is not for the strong in faith... In real sense, its for those who's faith is failing so they can be fortified with the unfailing word of God and his promises via the christ-like brethren .
God bless us all.
#shikena