₦airaland Forum

Thanks to the NL poetry club competition organizers. Weno and I received our awards today. A total sum of 12000NGN. It was a joy. We really appreciate everyone.

The organizers for the gesture, the judges, the competitors who made us work our asses to be better at poetry by giving a good account of themselves, the entire poetry for review NLers (the section of NL that you can post and come back after months and still find your post in the sections front page ) and not forgetting Mr. Seun for providing the platform for us to develop a rare skill, thank you.

To my enchanting partner who put up with my absence at some critical moments and yet, delivered excellent performances every single time, I have no words to qualify you. .


Finally, my gratitude goes to God Almighty and infinite for his wisdom and ever abounding grace, I am grateful.

Thank you everyone, especially llaykorn.

Copy;
Llaykorn
Weno

Contestant 65 Weno & TheSCRYPT ©2015

A fault in our Land

(TheSCRYPT)

The Volcano belches ash on the Land,
Extinguishing life in bucket full,
Of the abounding Waters,
The strong plod for dear Life,
Strength attenuated by haemato waste.
The extant near extinct,
As the breath of diminutive biosphere creatures are snuffed out.
The distinguished lay extinct,
Man handled mangled to quietus.

(Weno)

Gboa!! Gboa!! Gbooooaaaa!!
The reverberation of cannonade,
The detonation of grenade,
Extinguishing buckets of the distinguished with abounding waters.
The wild blue yonder vociferates
Like the Lion, in unrestricted tears of crimson,
submerging buckets on Earth's surface.

(TheSCRYPT)

Stripped of might that night,
Not at all a Light in sight
For the moon snored,
Urchin Launches lurching,
As he gets wind of sobs,
From two unripe nobs, not far by.

(Weno)

He wheezed, he sneezed
As he traipsed weakly on lifeless buckets
For he was,
Of a sight and his bucket
Impaired.
Gbam!! Gbam!!
He falls to the Earth's suface
Could he be no more?

(TheSCRYPT)

The two unripe nobs, sob,
Bellowing 'mama', 'baba',
In pangs, for no bangs.
With their buckets impaired
And less of stamina,
They positioned unbeknowst,
Moving to opposition.
They wondered on sopping as,
They wandered on sobbing.

(Weno)

Some bomber mobs, now extinct,
For their buckets impaired.
At the heels of the sopped sobbing nobs,
Were the supreme mobs,
Shoving them to the Earth's suface,
They ripped their sopped clothing
And robbed the unripe nobs of their stainlessness.

(Weno)

The two unripe nobs growled,
In pain as they sobbed and bawled,
'Maaa-maaa' , 'baaaa-baaa',
Out of sight was 'mama' and,
'Baba', for their buckets now wasted.
Out of sight was the distinguished,
For their buckets now extinguished,
And the unripe nobs no more,
For their buckets leaked and mosture gone.

Analysis:

This poem makes us reflect on the incessant albatross in Boko Haram, an anomaly that has plagued the nation for over a decade.

It relates poetry to the experience of helpless people facing fear and danger daily. The poem basically represents an attack by these bombers as they leave behind, the wounded and breathless bodies referred to as 'buckets', lying on the ground for no good reason, lives of the innocent Children with purpose lost and their parents gone to the beyond. An Urchin who struggles for survival, two young children referred to as 'unripe nobs' looking for their Parents despite the anguish, they get raped by these suicide bombers and eventually loose their lives.
What is the way forward? How will all these come to an end? Only God knows.

Poetic Devices

Similie:
Line 15 and 16 makes use of Similie, comparing 'the wild blue yonder', vociferating like a Lion.

Rhymes:
Lines 12 and 13,' cannonade and grenade'
Line 19 and 20, "might', 'night', 'light', 'sight'
Line 23 and 24, 'sobs and nob'
Line 25, 'wheezed and sneezed'
Line 35, 'pangs and bangs'
Line 40 and 41, 'wondered and wandered', 'sopping and sobbing'
Line 53 and 54 ' distinguished and extinguished'

Personification:
Line 21 'the moon snored'

Hyperbole:
Line 14 'extinguishing buckets'
Line 17 'tears of crimson'
Line 18 'submerging buckets'
Line 21 'the moon snored'
Line 26 'he traipsed weakly on lifeless buckets'

Rhetorical question:
Line 32, 'Could he be no more?'

Onomatopoeia:
Line 11, 'Gbooa!!, Gboooaaa!!'
Line 30, 'Gbam!!, Gbam!!'

Analysis by Weno.


Copy:
Weno

Diminutive horrid creatures,
Crawling on natures turf,
Head like the pugilist's glove,
A woe, plantae's clove,
Deleterious horrid creatures,
The African Pheidole.

- TheSCRYPT

Copy:
Llaykorn
Pukka36