₦airaland Forum

Shroud:
Hahahaha! The old man is pathetically untreatable. He has shown adverse reactions to my radical psychoanalytic therapy.

Dude was never raised to believe he could stand on his own two feet so he needs Séun's platform to launch another attempt to remedy his life.

See him saying you ran to google when you dropped that medical analysis of the demented retárd who has shown repeatedly here he has no pride or shame.

Ascribing your post to google is a sure sign he felt the first force of the knock out blow!

The snake has been beheaded. All we have here is the writhing hisses of his lifeless body.

At the emboldened: You're the poetic Don lezz, the invincible! Abeg sofri sofri kill this guy. Abeg!

He never knew the consequences sticking with a bigot of a master. The master has run away leaving him behind to be brutalized and dehumanised.

He never knew you, nor me, nor Probz, that it would cost him his peace and dignity facing just one of us, let alone all three.

So long to that dweeb who mistook foolhardiness for bravery.

Probz:
The perverted hebephrenic's got about a month of partial sanity left before he's eating out of dustbins and getting chased around by kids.

Probz:
The presence of schizophrenia and mental retardation in the same patient isn't an uncommon co-occurrence. He's in a permanent state of regression.

Probz:
A very peculiar case of late-onset hebephrenia. Insidious progression as is the norm. He'll eventually become florid and end up even more of an incoherent caricature of childish silliness than he already is.

Probz:
And you missed off mild hebephrenic schizophrenia - a certain degree of incoherence in and disconnect between cognition and behaviour is plainly evident in the case of said patient. Inappropriate display of emotion and excessive use of smilies is probably the outward manifestation of bizarre grimacing and mirthless laughter behind the computer screen. He's one step away from roaming Aba market.

The said patient has proven his NeuroTherapists right by trying to rewrite his medical fact sheet, lending credence to our long, hard and thorough medical diagnosis on his multiple neuro-cognitive disorders.

TheUmbra:
In conclusion, we are compelled to inform the public that the patient is very likely to rewrite this factsheet to smear and blackmail the team of doctors that have been working exceptionally hard at treating his numerous neuro-cognitive disorders. The public is by this publication advised to approach Mr Laudate with extreme caution or avoid him all together.

Signed:
TheUmbra
Lead NeuroTherapist

The best form of treatment now, my most distinguished colleagues, Dr Shroud and Dr Probz is to apply systematic withdrawal. This will most certainly calm the patient's neurosis but inflate his already severe delusional disorder.

The end goal of this therapy, dear colleagues is to give the patient, Mr Laudate a false sense of victory.
This will help the patient calm down.

Confidential!

Please keep this file confidential as the patient may likely suffer further mental retrogression should he come to the knowledge of its content.

Signed:

TheUmbra
Lead NeuroTherapist

laudate:
Oh, so you are still bleating? Haba! The phrase 'old unproductive dry bone,' is such a perfect description of you, nah. Don't forget that you just admitted that you are suffering from severe anencephaly. I pray you find healing for the condition that plagues your soul.... Try to stop being jealous of others, maybe things would then work out for you.

I'm not here to diss you, I'm here to give a medical/psycho-analytical report on your behaviour on this forum so far. So we may title this official reports as:

LAUDATE MEDICAL FACT SHEET:

LAUDATE is a male patient with the following medical diagnosis:

ASPERGER'S SYNDROME: The said patient has serious trouble with his communicative skills with a sustained ineptitude in social interaction.


PSYCHOSIS: The said patient has been observed and confirmed with mental dysfunction that rendered him incapable of shame. Also having cognitive impairments regarding sound judgement.

TARDIVE DYSKINESIA: Affecting said patient with a visible impulse of repetition. Under gruesome pressure from Dr Probz and Dr Shroud, our patient was consistently repeating the same post over and over again.


COGNITIVE REDUNDANCY: The patient has impaired cognitive vibrancy with inability to respond appropriately to intellectual stimuli or provocations from Dr Shroud.


COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: The patient has exhibited sustained signs of hypocrisy; with inconsistency in what he portrays and what he does.


OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: The patient, Mr Laudate displayed sustained suicidal tendencies of continuous reply to Dr Shroud's gruesome tests despite suffering severe shellacking. Corresponding with earlier diagnosis by Dr Probz


MAN-CHILD SYNDROME: Though Mr Laudate gave his age as 45, tests conducted with specimens from his bone and saliva put his age somewhere between mid to late 50s. The tests were necessitated by the disparities between the patient's outlook and intellectual expectations. Under severe pressure from our in-house NeuroTherapists, Dr Shroud and Dr Probz, the patient yielded by exhibiting emotional immaturity asymmetrical to his age.


In conclusion, we are compelled to inform the public that the patient is very likely to rewrite this factsheet to smear and blackmail the team of doctors that have been working exceptionally hard at treating his numerous neuro-cognitive disorders. The public is by this publication advised to approach Mr Laudate with extreme caution or avoid him all together.

Signed:
TheUmbra
Lead NeuroTherapist

laudate:
And the band of psychotic attention seekers keeps increasing on this thread, with theUmbra being the latest member of their clique. Everybody is talking, and you too are bleating... Anuofia! You want to copy that your certified brother that belongs in the asylum, right? Feel free... Onye eberibe!

Since your anencephaly is severe you forgot you quoted me first.

Your frustration has only just begun. Old unproductive dry bone!

laudate:
See this one! Everyone is talking, and you too are bleating. _mtcheew... Instead of responding to Fratermathy's questions with some modicum of intelligence, you have chosen to look in my direction and launch a tirade of inanities. 'Mumu' must be your middle name, I swear.

It took you forever to respond like it took the first locomotive train to make a complete voyage. That's how intellectually inept you are. Like the first generation train struggled through the hilly terrain delivering its cargoes at odd hours, so you slugged out a weak response dead of the night, old nocturnal Wizard!

While your being on the wrong side of forty with congenital brain defects can be understandably depressing, it is completely unacceptable of you to unsettle this forum with all the midlife crisis rocking your uninspiring and unproductive life.

Come on, grandpa, that's not the way to bring spark into your drabby existence. Check with a mental therapist for a start. And maybe, just maybe they can find a symmetrical intellect for your old bones.

Dreary Old Fool!

laudate:
You are still seeking attention from me? Ok, you have been noticed. Now run along and go play with your toys....

You still tarry when all that's left here is the rubble of your broken facade.

A spineless fratermathy-apologist who lacks the guts to stand up for his twisted ideology but hid behind his bigoted master with nothing tangible to offer.

And they said you've been on this forum for the past 11 years with no parallel, substansive intellectual growth!

Phew!

Shroud:
The praise i have been receiving obviously hurts you more than my diatribes You're still bleeding from the cuts! I never knew one single person is so hated in Nairaland. You have become the byword for nuisance in this forum.

A man who had become a Nairalander for the past 11 years and is still having the cognition of a 7 year old with mental epilepsia.

Truly, it is said that one's intelligence and wisdom is never reflected by the amount of time he spends on earth.

An old fool like you throwing the insults of young adults back at them in a fit of feverish delirium and you think there's nothing congenitally wrong with your psychological evolution?

You're an old unproductive member of society strutting the internet for the past eleven years looking for any semblance of meaning to your wasted life.

You should be chopped down into bits like meat in an open abattoir and your corpse used as manure for Nigeria's effort at growing local rice. Idiot.

Tribalistic shmuck from a family of a long, unbroken line of primal legacy no greater or lesser than hamadryas baboons.

If I could time-travel, I will go back in time when your libertine father was fücking that unhinged drab you call a mother and make sure the drunkard offloaded his unhealthy semen on the dirty mat they use as bed to spare the rest of humanity the cuss of your birth.

All the offspring born out of your mother's diseased-overtaken womb should be put to violent death to keep the human race pure or compelled to become human laboratory experiment to be used as guinea pigs for primatology.

Foolish bastard. I have never received so much extolment for word-knifing anyone here as much as I have received after beheading you and leaving your corpse exposed to the elements.

Inferior bastard.

Mentally mutated son of a low-breed!

PLEASE, HAVE MERCY!

Shroud:
I don't do funny disses slave. As your father was a begging slave, so is every Ghanaian President. In fact, international begging is one of the criteria for selecting a President in that land of unproductivity.

So see your former President confessing that former president Obasanjo did what Ghana couldn't do for themselves. President Kuffor was so unpresidentail in his gratitude like a true slave.


He called OBJ "saviour", " master" and "prophet" typical words from a man who knows slavery from his roots.

What's worse? They name a long stretch of road after Obasanjo to immortalise the begging

Stay down and out. You have been beaten again.
goodnight.

I love this to be my last post to you on this thread so this one will stick and never be blurred by any other.

Quote me 100times and I won't respond on this thread . Slave. http://mobile.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/Ghana-dedicates-road-to-Nigerian-President-120418?channel=D1

Take those damning screenshots as a farewell
http://www.informationng.com/2013/01/how-obasanjo-saved-ghanas-economy-from-collapse-kufuor.html

Oh boy, you killed that guy with facts.

funmisticqueen:
Since you say it's a compliment, then i'll say thank you, i know they are beautiful.

Two all is fair in love and war even when there are rules, but like i said, wasnt trolling or looking for a fight, just a friendly play with words. How is your day going, hope you saw that other lovely post i mentioned you in

It's all good

funmisticqueen:
Funny enough no, feel free to look at my dp, just dont use someone's physical attributes to insult them in an e - fight, that is all i am against, if i wanted i wouldnt have put a picture at all.

For example if i go to your picture and maybe call you an ugly old man with no life and a pot belly who would probably die of liver disease. This is what i am against

You keep missing the point. Am I surprised? Not quite! Your complimentary-antenna is broken. Otherwise, you wouldn't interpret "big eyes" as insult.

It all comes down to the same point of being frigid.

And yes, I pick on an adversary's profile and their looks may come in handy in a time of need. In war my opponents don't get to choose my armoury. So far, I'm still being a little soft with you.

kellycyber:
Here are 10 ways to access this love
and create an amazing relationship,
how to love a woman:

1. Start by loving yourself

If you are unable to love yourself, you are
unable to love someone else.
This is something that men, particularly, have
trouble with. You might respect yourself, think
you are absolutely amazing, but loving

yourself, that’s a bit sissy.
No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of
a balanced personality. If you have a troubled
relationship you should look, first of all, to
yourself, this is often where the trouble lies.

2. Tell her you love her

This is lesson two of how to love a
woman. Tell her you love her!
This means saying the words so she
completely understands and is in no doubt
about it. You love her. She needs you to say
this all the time and she needs you to
volunteer it, not say it in reply to her
questioning.
The worst thing you can say is, “You know I
do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking…
Duh…

3. Just love her for herself

Your love is not conditional, it is not
based on any special qualities. You love
her.
Women have qualities we love in them,
perhaps they’re smart, or sexy, or
inspirational, or funny, or even rich. This is not
why you love her, you love her just because of
her, nothing else.
Even though you celebrate everything that
she is, even though you worship her for what
she does in the world, she needs to know that
you simply love her, no matter what. This is so
crucial.

4. Live in your power

Whilst a man in love is an emotional
being he must not stop being the man
he is.
Your love should come from the power inside
yourself, from your very soul. The love must be
part of your power as a man and it must be
part of how you live.
You must remain just who you are, you must
be the man she met and fell in love with.
She finds excitement in your masculine
strength, particularly when it laced with love.
Don’t ever let her down.

5. Don’t live in the past

Never dwell on the past and use it to
judge your woman.
Life does not always treat us well and we
certainly don’t always treat life well. Things go
wrong and we mess up. Strife in our loving
relationship is something to let go of once it’s
over, it’s something to let slip into the past.
We must learn the lessons and move on
ensuring that we don’t go there again. Move
on and live, always, in the present.

6. Get to know her

How often do you say, “My wife doesn’t
understand me.” What you really mean
is, “I don’t understand my wife.”
Love can only grow and deepen through
understanding. You can never get to the point
where you think you know everything about
her, no woman is that simple. She is a
complex person that even she doesn’t
understand.
You need to love her and get to know her with
patience and determination.

7. Count your blessings

Count the blessings you have together,
the things you have achieved together,
all that you are as a couple.

This should be a regular part of your life
together. While I said, above, don’t live in the
past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the
past. This must be tempered with looking at
the amazing things you are going to do in the
future.

As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a
future way beyond one that you can imagine.
Expectations can lead to frustration if they
limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is
a good step into the future.

8. Give love, always

Love is about giving rather than
receiving.
Love is a creative force that grows out of the
desire to give more than you receive.
It is crucial that you are able to receive the
love that is offerred to you otherwise it quickly
dies, but you have to focus on the
contribution you make to her.
“Give and you shall receive”, but give without
expecting anything in return.

9. Pay attention to her

Women need attention all the time.
It is absolutely vital that you understand this.
Many of the annoying habits that women have
are merely attempts to get your attention.

Take heed of them and pay attention.
Men are focused and directed and can easily
lose themselves in what they are doing. This is
one of the qualities that many women love in
their men, but not to the exclusion of them.
You need to find a balance that shows how
important your woman is to you without losing
your passion for your mission.

10. Start afresh each day
Start again as if it was the first day of
the relationship.


Welcome her into your world and look forward
to your day together. Give her your love and
tell her you love her. Do it again in a different
way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell
you where to go from here.

This refreshing of your love will keep it alive
and bring you closer to each other. Through
this your love will deepen and become an
essential part of everyday you spend together.


♦◊♦


So what is love… really?
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about
another person, an emotion that you can’t
truly explain but you can’t get rid of.

It makes you want to be with that person,
hold them, touch them, have sex with them.
It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a
polarity, that excites your soul.

Love makes you feel great and totally
transforms life. Love is worship of the other
person, the woman who is divine for you.

Love is the power house behind our lives,
it is the reason we live.
Do you love yourself?
Do you live in your power?
Do you start afresh with your woman –
every day?

source: http://osazs..nl/2017/06/how-to-love-woman-10-ways-for-men-to.html

Here's the true source;


http://grahamreidphoenix.com/2011/02/10-ways-to-love/

funmisticqueen:
No it isn't, it is actually a pet peeve for me, it really get me irritated that is all

And yet you put it up there! Women and insincerity are inseparable like Santa and his moustache.

Your DP was placed up there by you as a selling point. To buy yourself a little attention. Now you're acting all wild-eyed as if your privacy has been breached.

Get real!

funmisticqueen:
Wait so you are a man, my bad, doesnt your moniker sound feminine? See i didnt even bother to check your profile. My offer to you has to be revoked though, i am in a happy relationship and wouldn't want to jeopardise that.

I wonder if this was intended as trolling. Talking about relationships, when a woman spits venom it tells about her relationship more than anything else.

You're no doubt in a relationship like the bodies piled up in your hospital morgue are in relationships.

funmisticqueen:
That wasn't a white flag but a warning, going to look at someone's profile is a cowardly way of trolling. Cos i like the fact that our paths may cross tomorrow and i wont use our discussion here on nairaland to mar my first impression of you real life.

Please quit the profile wailing. A pictorial glance of who I'm having an interaction is normal. I haven't trolled you with your profile yet.

funmisticqueen:
Wow, still doesnt help your low IQ though. I am just catching my fun and there you are getting your granny panties in a twist. Call me frigid if it helps you sleep well but give me 15 minutes and i will bring you to the heights of pleasure and leave you hanging, begging for more, that is how frigid i can be.

The proof would have been a satisfactory, well mannered lady, well sexually fed and not a nocturnal hag trying to pour out her fury on he who reminds her where the shoe pinches.

funmisticqueen:
First my eyes are big, now i am frigid, i can assure you i got more sex life in my finger than your brain can conjure in your entire lifetime.

Then you shouldn't be spending the night with me. You should have been all cuddled up in the arms of your man.

But here you are, making a reality out of my post, wondering were you lost it. And in utter frustration, you try to make me the Victim of your broken hopes.

funmisticqueen:
TheUmbra one more thing, dont go to someone's profile to look for ammunition, it is the dumbest move and shows a very low intellectual capacity. It also shows lack of creativity, just like your post, now imagine if i did what you did, (not as if i would be impressed by what i see) and decide to troll you? It is not good at this time of the day dear. Toodles

I haven't started picking holes from your profile and you're already raising the white flag.

If you weren't frigid and cold blooded, you would've interpreted your having big eyes with a sense of humour.

You shouldn't make me pay for all your uneventful romantic mishaps, should you?

funmisticqueen:
Yes the dumb post is on men but not to men as shown by title if i am not mistaken.

I thought you said you were out?

Ok here's one solution to your frigidity; a contentious woman makes a lousy sex partner. Now keep a cheerful face and maybe your homornes may live again.

funmisticqueen:
So wait, you and postmann are the same? So you mean to tell me you quoted only yourself, repeated yourself and still couldn't find a solution in 5000 words?

OMG this is a whole new level of dumb, even blonde bimbos are smarter than this. I'm out

I'm sorry but the reason for your frigidity wasn't considered in this writeup only the causes were. So don't take your frustration out on me.