₦airaland Forum

What is the average price per hour charged to the customer in a Nigerian Internet cafe?

nex:
Actually you may be right, but I believe that he's being sponsored 70% by himself.

80% actually and 20% by MEND

Don't pay any tithes full stop. It is equivalent to religious 419, absolute con and a ripp-off

[size=16pt]Whoever changes his religion from Islam should be congratulated as rejoining the human race[/size]

Agbotoba:
Our President is doing his best in our quest for industrial revolution.
He must be supported by all Nigerians.

LMAO

gReenmAn:
What's up with this Thor guy?

If you're not impressed with the Nigerian APC, no sweat, you've got a right to your opinion

LMAO

Not Impressed and not moving on!

New Nigerian Bread Weighing machine unveiled!

Ever wondered when buying bread in Nigeria that you were being cheated and the loaf was not the weight it should be. Now from the people that brought us the Nigerian APC comes the Nigerian bread weighing machine.

How this exactly works is a closely guarded secret, but it is believed that cucumbers are an important part of the technology and carefully adjusted bra's!

* STOP PRESS *

Nigerian PC assembly plant now at full capacity in Abuja!

State of the art Nigerian computer company Mugutel Ltd,  has stepped up production at it's Abuja plant to meet demand for it's new Abacha 4 desktop and the new Yam Yam laptop models!

On the health and hygiene front, President Yar' adua today awarded a prize of 75 Naira to Mr. Eze Eke, Nigerian inventor of the first combined baby bath and toilet.

President Yar' udua commented that all Nigeria needed now was a sewage system, but he said that he heard that another Nigerian inventor is working on a design for something called a sewage pipe!

More fantastic news, it is coming quick and fast. The first successful firing of the new Nigerian missile was carried out this morning.

The new missile named the 'Mugu Yahoo Boy 1' was fired from a secret location in Lagos at a designated target in India. The new missile which represents the absolute pinnacle of Nigerian technology was not carrying a warhead and landed in the center of New Delhi without incident.

President Yar' adua praised the inventors and further added that talks are underway to attach this new rocket system to the new Nigerian APC!

Cricket is a complex game that needs to be understood. Due to It's complexity Cricket is only followed by people with above average intelligence, hence the position of Cricket as the number one disliked sport!

The best way to experience Cricket is during a sunny day, with a few cold drinks , sat in the pavillion. It is a whole day event, rather than a timed game!

Witi:
Can you imagine! you bastards running down this development are good for nothing unprogressive fools, haters of good things. I think an average Nigeria should welcome this development and if you will criticize should do so constructively. Fools!!!

ikeyman00:
'

mixed race man

we don hear oo!!

LMAO

So why are you replying you Arrow?

Witi:
Can you imagine! you bastards running down this development are good for nothing unprogressive fools, haters of good things. I think an average Nigeria should welcome this development and if you will criticize should do so constructively. Fools!!!

Nobody can run down a country with so much raw talent and sewage. We should organise a national holiday and street parties to celebrate the coming of the Nigerian homemade tank!

Nothing is going to to stop us now, this APC has launched Nigeria into orbit and who knows, this could eventually lead to the introduction of electricity into people homes.

This is an exciting development indeed!

Yes, Nigeria is the center of the Universe where invention is concerned and Nigerian inventions keep this world of our running smoothly.

The money Nigeria has made from all its inventions ensures that the modern Nigeria is a country without corruption or poverty and one of the most dynamic in the world!

This is an amazing feat considering that the white man did so much to stifle this country and suppress the dynamic forward thinking Nigerian.

With a world class health service, clean drinking water and one of the worlds highest GDP's, Nigeria is not just the power house of Africa, but of the world!

Where can this all end, is there no stopping this heroic push froward?

God bless Nigeria and the Nigerian world class APC!

Idiots

Beaf:
Oh yeah, theres nothing racist about all of the pictures you've posted.

Progeny of thieves.

Racist white boy.

Beef, I have decided to ignore you moving forward. How you can blame the problems of Nigeria on a few trinkets and wooden carvings is ludicrous to say the least. I did not start this stupidity, but I was happy to play along with you to keep you happy. You were for a few hours at least my little pet cyber chimp!  

Now I have bored of you and will move on and ignore you  

Nigeria needs people like you to keep it at the level it finds itself today! Only with people like you can the country maintain it's dynamic development into chaos and catastrophe.

I commend you, you and people like Nez, Flem and Stickeyman, as you people are what makes Nigeria great, you are the key to the future!

A future of homemade weaponry, Mickey Mouse APV's and Yellow tin plate helicopters!

For you all truly deserve what you have built for yourselves and future generations!

Congratulations!

PS. If you want to think I am white, then go ahead, that is not an issue at all. It makes me smile  

I know who at what I am and that is all that counts

PEACE!

blacksta:
Mr thor - u definitely have serious issues / with all the racist talk

This started as a criticism of the APV project. Just goes to show that stupid people can not stand criticism!

Nothing to do with racism! I did not start this ridiculous anti colonial nonsense, but I will play along when the mood takes me.

Seems that people like to dish out nonsense but then get all defensive and play the racism card when it is thrown back at them!

OK time to get back on topic for this thread 

and we stole this

You forgot to mention the most important thing we stole!

Just to keep you seething and miserable

Wow a wooden mask, I think we should send it back, it would come in useful to hide your stupid face 

The state Nigeria is in has nothing to do with colonialism and has everything to do with the stupidity of Nigerians!

As I said the truth hurts!

Blame the fact that you have no electricity, clean drinking water or health care on a wooden mask.

As I said stupidy rules in the land of the stupid!

Most of the talented people - as soon as they can - are disappearing abroad. That leaves the dregs like you!

Wow a few Elephant tusks and a wooden dog LMAO 

From thieving forefathers to thieving Nigerians!

ocelot2006:
@ Hanoobaba, why don't you build your own 'pangolo', and let's see how u perform? And what have you contributed to your country? Or u just sit @ home spewing trash.

And with respect to the obj-001, do u know that we produce basically all our small firearms (from the berreta 9mm & browning hi-power pistols to the FN-FAL & HK G3 rifles) to heavy weapons (GPMGs and 88mm mortars)? The production of the obj-001 introduces a rifle that is known for reliability, and it reduces our dependence on foreign powers for arms. And lets not forget that it's introduction creates a production line that leads to more jobs and a source of income for the nation.

Just goes to prove that stupidity is a Nigerian invention!

Yes, Nigeria's greatest need is to produce weaponry and armour. That is what will make Nigeria great and give it's people the quality of life they deserve.

Born stupid, always stupid!

blacksta:
@thor

I am quite interested to know about your fascination with Nigeria or Nigerians

thanks

What's your fascination?

ikeyman00:
and again

being white doesnt elate jerk right  here

warnin

to who it might concern

By the way 'Warning' has a g on the end. Illiterate dip shit 
And as for giving warnings, what are you going to do if they don't comply? Bore them to death with your stupidity?

Maybe they can build a landing platform on top of the Micky Mouse APV to allow the Nigerian Cobra attack helicopter to land on the roof

[quote author=Yoruba-man link=topic=309607.msg4357499#msg4357499 date=1250358632]How did u people find out Thor was White and a freaking racist
bnp t wat[/quote]If speaking the truth about the situation in Nigeria = Racism, then let it be called Racism!

If the truth hurts, then let it hurt!

If your answer to the countries myriad of problems is to brand any criticism as coming from a white man, then who cares, the problems still exist and continue to get worse with every day that passes!

For all your words you are living in a shit hole and nobody is doing anything about it!

stupid  definition
stu·pid (sto̵̅o̅′pid, styo̵̅o̅′-)

adjective

in a state of stupor; dazed; stunned; stupefied
lacking normal intelligence or understanding; slow-witted; dull
showing or resulting from a lack of normal intelligence; foolish; irrational a stupid idea
dull and boring; tiresome [a stupid party]: also used informally as a generalized term of disapproval a stupid hat
Etymology: L stupidus < stupere, to be stunned or amazed < IE *steup-, to strike: see steep
noun

a stupid person - Beaf, Nez, Yoruba-Man - Ikeyman - Flehmmy

kelvin:
Wow.

You guys need to develop an "uppy" attitude towards stuff like this. The guys claim they can produce the APC with the same quality at half the current price and with standard specification. We should at least give them a chance and see what happens.

Nobody has said that they should not be given a chance and it will be ministers that will decide whether the project is funded or not!

It is just that such a useless development takes pride of place when the country is lacking such basic amenities  

Nigerians can build an armoured car, but can not provide electricity , health care or clean drinking water for it's people!

This is not a development, this is a step backwards  

Beaf:
Don't worry boy, We'll get you like they got the Nazi's; you and you thieving forefathers.

Remember the things you guys stole?

You still have not mentioned what we supposedly stole? Even if I wanted to steal something, do you honestly think I would come to a country where the most precious and readily available commodity is stupidity?

I gave you some possibilities maybe you can be more specific?

Make a list of exactly what Nigeria has other than corruption, criminality, stupidity, lack of education, laziness, third world mind set, poverty, 419, fraud, filthy streets, slums, oppression, poor or little health care, no electricity, failed nation status, dictators, goats, STD's, pollution, child rape, child abuse, militants, kidnappers, MEND, Boko Haram, HIV, AIDS, Ogboni Mugu Fraternity, Nigerians and now a metal box welded onto a Toyota chassis 

Please be specific!

@ Nex

You sure are a frustrated little asshole 

I am sure that you can say everything that is in your small peanut sized brain in one post, no need to post three different replies 

Shout as much as you like about the rest of the world, does not change the fact that Nigeria sucks at everything it does and I put that down to low life illiterate peasants such as yourself that are destroying the country with your gross stupidity 

Now go and take a few steps outside your hovel and breath some deep breaths of slum air!

By the way the two Yahoo Obasa brothers are fraudsters! They engaged in several scam activities while in the US. It is simpler then to understand how they came about their working capital and why they had to return to Nigeria of all places!

http://cases.justia.com/us-court-of-appeals/F3/15/603/536713/

Beaf:
White boy, stop pulling the wool over your own eyes; your Europe is nowhere near China technologically. Only the US can claim to be more technologically advanced than China. How many of your European countries have sent anybody into space or you don't have patents for it? Or China got the technology from those who have never sent a cockroach into space too? Your time is passing and you're using it badly. By the grace of God, we too will overtake your Europe and get all our looted stuff from you guy's.

All hail Nigerian inventors and technologists. Na small, small we go de climb up!

LMAO  

Nigeria will have to overtake Afghanistan first  

Not sure exactly what the British looted from Nigeria. Maybe you will make a list of exactly what Nigeria has other than corruption, criminality, stupidity, lack of education, laziness, third world mind set, poverty, 419, fraud, filthy streets, slums, oppression, poor or little health care, no electricity, failed nation status, dictators, pollution, child rape, child abuse, militants, kidnappers, HIV, AIDS, Ogboni Mugu Fraternity, Nigerians!

So Europe's time is passing? That should read like bad news to Nigerian's as Billions are sent in aid to the sad failed state that Nigeria is every year!

Oh well, maybe beef will have to wait a little longer before he gets to experience a flushing toilet and soap!  

ikeyman00:
thur

i always know u are really a stupid man

bloody stupid

If you had any sort of education you would understand that you should have written:

"I have  always known that you are a really stupid man"

You also need to capitalise letters at the start of a sentence!

You can put a monkey like you in a suit but unfortunately your primitive and backward mindset remains 

Oh well, you fit the typical Nigerian standard 

The only reason products are produced in China is because manpower is the cheapest in the world and the natives have the required skill sets. The Chinese do not invent, they just manufacture!

If the West wanted they could bring China to it's knees. Just stop importing goods or move production elsewhere such as India or Mexico and the China dream is over. Around 90% of goods manufactured there are destined for the West anyway and 99% are Western technology and patents, even the Japanese produce most of their electrical goods in China!

When you have 1.5 billion people, human resource is cheap! At the end of the day everything comes down to price, nothing else matters!

Inventing a product is one thing, manufacturing it commercially is another. Nigeria has no skilled work force to speak of, except maybe in the oil sector, poor electricity supply, corruption and bureaucracy at every turn!

So for the for-seeable future, China it is!

For the information of the misinformed:

Intel processors are manufactured in Hudson, Mass. USA by Intel
AMD (Global Foundries) processors are manufactured in Malta, New York at a new $4.2 billion dollar production facility
Toyota engines for Europe are produced at TMUK's facility in Deeside, North Wales, UK
Bayerische Motoren Werke or BMW is European, so is Benz and they are produced in Europe

Recognise:
@Davidylan

- Davidylan

That was/is the beach in the film "LOST"

and the bloke there is our Naija homie actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

He played the part of Mr EKO in the film

[center]^{"While I thought I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die."}[/center]

Correct, you have a sharp eye

And finally a special mention to the Flem & Beef show

And these also deserve a mention