₦airaland Forum

alutawestand: I had an argument with my hubby last week friday. He said I like judging him wrongly and also remind him things of the past(ugly ones mostly)and don't respect him. That I always have a quick and sharp response to every statement he makes In the heat of the argument I told him I wanted a divorce.

He has refused to talk to me since then. He said he must grant me the divorce since I requested for it.

I tried apologising to him last night but he refused listening to me, that the only way he would know that I am serious and thereby accept the apology it is if I kneel down and beg him. This I refused doing.

This morning I tried apologising by chatting him up on BB but
he insisted that I must kneel down to know am serious. He said my apologies are not always original as I always go back to that same old character even after apologising.

I've told him that its dehumanising and moreover we only kneel down for God , but he told me I knelt down while giving him palmwine on the day of our traditional wedding. That I should go and find out the meaning of that. If I don't kneel down he will go ahead with the divorce.

Pls house I don't know if I should go ahead and kneel down for him to avoid problems. But to be sincere, I really find that dehumanising.

I need your advice and will be here to entertain any question. Thanks

ogoplus: The deed has been done.

From your post( reading between the lines) I know you truly LOVE YOUR MAN.

I don't subscribe to hubby hitting wifey but you need to know his "boiling point"

Aviod provoking him.

Don't beleive everything you read on NL or elsewhere, over 75% of Nigerian/african men won't mind beating-up their wife. They don't see anything wrong in it.

I know some people will call for man head.

If he is not naturally a voilent/cruel person, FORGIVE HIM if he is remorseful.

peggykorol: Ok I don't even know where to start.last nite when I was about putting on my gen set it didn't come on.so I noticed their was a problem.I called my hubby by 6pm cos he was hanging out with his friends.I told him to come assist us since we were in darkness(was I wrong)he said ok but didn't return till 11pm.and when he returned he fixed it but I was already asleep and very upset with him because where he was wasn't far from the house.this morning I saw a condomn in hiS jean pocket he wore out last night.I asked him abt it and he said it has been in his car.I have been d one using d car since he wasn't in Nigeria for a short time and am very sure their was no condom in d car.we started arguing and he said I was interrogating him.he said going out with a condom is ths safest thing he can do for himself and then I said that means its ok for your wife to move out with it too abi.he got upset and started hitting me,flogging me with his belt and his shoe.now my point is since we got married this is the 4th time he has slapped me and the first he is beating me like this.he beat me up like a child even locking our room door .finally he hit my head on the stabilizer in our room.where did I go wrong.how can a man who claims he loves me so much beat me up such way.he said I talk to him like he is my houseboy.I don't see myself forgiving him and don't see myself having any intimacy with him either.the feelings I have for him keeps reducing.I really don't know what to do

lovelydoll: Hello ,my friend is married and just found out she was pregnant.Most people who are married find this to be a joyful moment,but not for my friend's husband.The thing is my friend told me that her husband told her to get an abortion soon because ,he is not yet ready to have a kid. My friend is completely against it ,but is afraid that he will neglect the baby when it's born. What should she do to convince her husband ,that abortion is not an option?

pslm23: Same question me and other family members asked her and him. If he was so unhappy with this woman why remain with her for 17 years and keep fathering kids. He said everytime he got ready to leave, pastors from their church and her family would come begging him saying things will get better and she will change. She told him she was on BC after the 2nd child was born but he said she deceived him with the last 2 pregnancies. From what my family has gathered thus far from members of his family he wanted to marry this woman after the first and second was born but she was getting more and more out of hand.
My cuz is a 38 year old woman who made the conscious decision to enter this marriage knowing full well that there were baggages i.e the children. What nobody expected was an angry ex. his entire family from grand parents to sisters and brothers and uncles and aunts all say one thing, that the ex is a pathological liar with a touch of mental illness. someone that lied that their second child had been crushed by a trailer just so he can come back and when that failed, she now called crying saying that her mother and sister had drowned in a river. the most recent lie was that she is now married to Oshomole (governor of Edo) and he was sending his body guards to beat my cuz and hubby up.
The kids are all in boarding school except for the first who just finished his WAEC. He pays the fees and health insurance and feeding for all of them. Ex has never worked a day in her life and she is a graduate of political science

My cuz is a 38 year old woman

What nobody expected was an angry ex.

acidtalk: SIGNS OF AN IRRESPONSIBLE MAN

* He is too eager to know the exact amount his partner earns as salary.

* He pushes responsibilities to her even when they are things he can readily afford.

* He checks her phone, hand bag, purse and pockets indiscriminately but always warns her from searching his.

* He emphasizes on the fact that he is the head of the house at the slightest opportunity but yet reminds his partner of the importance of sharing when is comes to financial responsibilities.

* He grumbles when he is being asked for basic needs in the house but call up friends and volunteer to take them out for a beer.

* He struggles with the TV remote with his partner but run away when it is time to help out in home chores.

* He only pretends to be romantic and nice to his partner when there is a 3rd party around.

* He keeps arguing with his partner and want her to give in on the argument to show he is truly the head.

* He is humble and patient when he is broke, but arrogant and rude when he has little change in his pocket.

* Even when he doesn't drop money for food, he expects to be served like a King.

Babz temmy: I av bin married for one year now and i av a 5months old baby, i seem to av a little problem with myself and my hubby sex life, and i feel some matured minds are ere to contribute. My hubby has d kind of job dat doesnt av public holidays or off days or weekend off. He works all day and all nights. Cos of my baby i demand for sex at her sleep hours, nd then to my hubby its d wrong time, many times i go to bed b4 him nd he comes to bed when am fast asleep latest is 3am. And if he manages to take a break he will only watch naruto. However he has his way of demanding for sex when he needs it. And u know we dare not say no whether u r in d mood or not. Am i unecesarilly worried. And if not what can i do. Trust me he isnt cheating so dats out of it

Babz temmy: I av bin married for one year now and i av a 5months old baby, i seem to av a little problem with myself and my hubby sex life, and i feel some matured minds are ere to contribute. My hubby has d kind of job dat doesnt av public holidays or off days or weekend off. He works all day and all nights. Cos of my baby i demand for sex at her sleep hours, nd then to my hubby its d wrong time, many times i go to bed b4 him nd he comes to bed when am fast asleep latest is 3am. And if he manages to take a break he will only watch naruto. However he has his way of demanding for sex when he needs it. And u know we dare not say no whether u r in d mood or not. Am i unecesarilly worried. And if not what can i do. Trust me he isnt cheating so dats out of it

baby.me:
Busted! I can't stop laughing.

Babz temmy: My advice, if u r ere nd u r married please learn from this . What dis woman is going tru is very serious. My opinion to u madam u should be a good example to ur children, leave dat useless man of urs to keep swimming in sin. Let karma nd judgement catch up with him. This shall not be the portion of anyone of us with good marriages, may God repair what has broken in this home. Amen

Babz temmy: I av bin married for one year now and i av a 5months old baby, i seem to av a little problem with myself and my hubby sex life, and i feel some matured minds are ere to contribute. My hubby has d kind of job dat doesnt av public holidays or off days or weekend off. He works all day and all nights. Cos of my baby i demand for sex at her sleep hours, nd then to my hubby its d wrong time, many times i go to bed b4 him nd he comes to bed when am fast asleep latest is 3am. And if he manages to take a break he will only watch naruto. However he has his way of demanding for sex when he needs it. And u know we dare not say no whether u r in d mood or not. Am i unecesarilly worried. And if not what can i do. Trust me he isnt cheating so dats out of it

Babz temmy: Trust me on that, he isnt cheating, if he is i will know. Thanks for d comment would try dat also

Babz temmy: I like picking my hubby's phone cos each time i do i find him doing something wrong. Picking his phone is my weakness though nd he knows, i cant just help it am an addicted phone picker nd he is aware of this. Everytime i pick up his phone or say something about what i found on his phone he always calls a female friend and d next thing i find him doing is he is planning on cheating, on 2 ocassions dis has happened, nd its always 1 hr or less away from d time we had issues over me picking his phone. The first time he sent a msg to an ex that he misses her pussy" Nd wants to see her dat evening. The second time he is booking an appointment with a girl in a hotel room nd denies his family is over seas. Is all dis my fault, i know i shouldnt pick his phone but is it enough for him to go dis far? Note dat i dont nag him, nd i also Ask him to give me time to work on my weakness of picking his phone.

Babz temmy: Dear nairalanders, Please is it wise for a married man to still receive calls from his ex, chat on bb regularly and so on. Dont u feel what they once shared might spark up again after few conversations.

Babz temmy: I always find myself digging into my wife's past, on facebook, nairaland, her phones, she has a really deep and not pleasant past, but yet i still dig and want to know mORE, nd now its affecting my marriage, i always pick her phones now, reAd through them thoroughly, everytime i see her chats with a man or i ex i get worried that she might still be d same old person. So she passworded her phones to keep me from bothering myself unecessarilly cos indeed i bother myself at every instance. NL i want to save my marriage, my fears is about to mess everything up. I love hee very much and dont wanna loose her. One advice from u might save my marriage.