₦airaland Forum

Tears of joy are rolling down my eyes as i read all your posts. If i don't love God, i will be the most ungrateful being on earth.
I'd like to share these with u guys if it won't be too much bother:

I had a dream when i initially met this other guy, in the dream, an armed robber stole wot i felt was so precious to me at gunpoint. I woke startled and a verse in the bible came to my mind straight away; ''the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy'' and then i knew it was about him.
I wasn't a so so religious person, i was puzzled but i waved it aside.

Then the whole trouble started, honestly, when i think about it, i feel i must hv been out of my mind to go out with him because i never liked him, nor tot about going out with him.

Anywayz, it all went down badly, and i almost lost my sanity.

Recently, i had another dream, in which someone came to return what was stolen from me sometimes ago (can't figure out what), then another dream, my fiance and i parked our car and went to see someone in his house, came out a few minutes and the car was gone, searched and searched, then someone pointed it out to us where it was driven away and parked. Then that someone was telling us to always switch on the security in the car, even if we are leaving it for a minute.


These might just be dreams, i really don't know, but i know, I have found my joy, peace, happiness, and love that was once stolen with my carelessness.

I HAVE A REASON TO PRAISE THE LORD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has proposed, we are planning to get married by december. I'm so excited. I can't believe its all working out fine. He still loves and trust me like b4. I would never do anything to hurt him no more in my life. I adore him cuz he's a very rare breed.

i like the she goat stealing yam proposal, lol.

Bottomline is, men should try to do woteva will make their she goat happy, if na oyinbo style of ring on bended knees or na proper naija style of the whole village begging to pluck a beautiful flower from ur papa's backyard.

i prefer the naija style though.

@Bhola, i'm so happy to read ur post again. You affected my life with your posts much more than you can think of. You were one of the few who told me it's alright to live again when i most needed it.

I didn't turn the situation around myself, i don't have the credit for it at all. It's God. I learnt my lesson and got closer to God in a hard way, which i won't like anybody else to go thru.

Our r/ship is growing faster and stronger each day, i never ever dreamt he could forgive me and i didn't even push for it, now we talk about it together, he sometimes teases me about it and stuffs. He is really the best thing to happen to me.(Apart from God).

We've weathered the storm so far and i believe with God we will never go weary.

alabiyemmy:
what advice for someone brave enough to have unprotected sex? I need to know. Unprotected sex scare the day break out of me.

I didn't ask for any advice, i only see this forum as a place to ventilate and see things in other people's perspective.

I quite agree tht unprotected sex is DANGEROUS (whn it isnt wiv ur spouse), up till now, i wonder how on earth i got hooked in such a situation(i aint justifying my action or finding an excuse, cuz its just inexcusable) but all in all i came out a better person. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you a better person !

Thanks Akinagirl, i didnt take any offence at all with any of the posts, cuz i already know it will stir up different reactions from people. But what i like best about Nairaland is that it's a place to ventilate one's mind with friends and people you don't know and may not know for the rest of one's life. And they will give different unbiased opinions of how they feel cuz they don't have to be nice since they dont know you.

This forum was a help in time for me, just talking about it and reading replies gave my mind some relief, cuz i couldnt really tell nobody about it in real life. My mind was heavy and it helped pouring a bit of it out here.

THANKS FOR ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED !
YOU ARE GREAT INVISIBLE FRIENDS!

Thanks 2 y'all, I'll keep you posted on evry stage, i'm really hoping he'll propose once again soon (i already hv a ring from him so it doesnt hv to come with another one). We have handed the whole r/ship to God to lead us through, and i believe when the time is right, he will.

thnx abboy, i'm sorry aby ur ex's story but happy for u tht u found a new love.

my fiance says he has forgiven me and is given us a 2nd chance, which by God's help nutting will mess it up. We planned moving together by april (he agreed to move over) and get married in december, but tht was b4 i spoilt it all, after then he stopped all the process of relocating and now he says he isnt too keen on it tht maybe we shd both relocate to a new place entirely and slow down on the wedding arrangement, which is fine by me.

I cant see mysef happy wit someoneelse.

Bill Gate, i have no child at the moment, and even if i did i won't marry the father as i will be willingly signing in for bullying and suferring + he doesn't want anything to do with God

Thanks white nkem, i'm so happy i eventually did the right thing.
@jaybaby and Akinagirl, I didn't believe i derserved to be forgiven too(by God, my BF and my unborn child), that was why i was almost sucidal, however when God sent someone to me to tell me He still loved me all the same, i felt hope, i felt relieve, i felt it is over. . . still i didn't even think for a moment, My fiance would dare think about forgiving me ,not to talk of a 2nd chance. But I remember the day b4 he called to say he was giving us a 2nd chance, i was at the fellowship, and we were told to ask God of one thing tonite and be sure we will get it. I wept and asked God, to give me back my love, if he(my fiance) is trully the one for me, God should do something. And i was gobsmacked the nxt day when i was given a 2nd chance, which with God will never go sour.

I have done things my own way and failed, so i've decided to put it all into God's unfailing, perfect hands.  
I still wish i could turn back the hands of time.

I like those pics about sleeping couples. I have to learn alot on that because i can't sleep with anybody's body to mine, i just wont get to sleep.

All the advice here have bin great ones. . . i'm learning

For those crucifying the poor guy for incorrect use of English, please can you take a break !
It is a borrowed/2nd language, he doesnt have to speak or write it perfectly, as long as he is able to pass across his message, which he did without much struggle.

Back to the topic

This guy to me will benefit from therapy, which isn't readily available in Nigeria, however, the little reasonable advice here on this forum can go a long way helping him. I will like to suggest that if anyone does not have a useful advice to give, they could just do with reading other people's post.

Telling the young lad to jump in front of a moving vehicle is just way too mean, to me its worse than beating someone up !

I'm in no way supporting physical aggression/abuse, however, emotional & psychological abuse can be worse (Like what we've had on this forum).

@ Topic Poster, you are half way through your problem by acknowledging it, determine to overcome it, when you're provoked, try to walk away, take a long walk, prove to yourself and others that you can do it, think about the good sides of the person who's angered u. Think about how many times you've annoyed others and they've let go.

Last but not the least, talk about it to your creator, the one who will always take and love you for who u are. How many times we've wronged God and He loves us all the same.

Sweetie, i wish you the best. Thats a much as i can put down here.

I'm the happiest person on earth right now !

I thought about the whole issue and i was convinced that sooner or later the truth will come out to haunt me when i least expect, so i decided to back off from the r/ship without telling the truth. I picked up a petty quarrel with him and fueled it, but that didnt help much as he wasnt prepared to let go just like that. So i gradually began to withdraw from him, not picking up his calls, not returning his calls, always havin an excuse or the other for being unavailable. I felt really bad doing all these but all i wanted was to leave his life without messing it up for him.

Then he called me one day and asked me to tell him what was wrong, he pleaded with me and it was too obvious i was hurting him real bad, i couldn't shut him out myself i was only trying my best to. I cried and told him the truth, i told him what happened was the truth and wasnt a joke. I told him i wanted to leave his life without hurting him was why i tried to run away, he was hurt, i felt his pain and i felt i wasnt fit to be happy no more, i planned to run away from evryone, my family, eveyone i knew, i was already putting my papers together to move out of the states to australia, i wanted to stop living but i didnt want to hurt myself physically, i started working long hours, night n day because i cudnt sleep at home, i wanted to shut the memory off my mind.

He didnt call n i didnt either, we didnt talk for about 2 weeks, except on my birthday whn he called to wish me h.bday. My bday didnt help much either, calls from family n friends asking me if my nxt bday would be as a married lady to him, i cried all day decided to go to work to keep my head straight.

One day he called saying he needed to hear my voice n that was it. No calls again for wot seemed like ages but was just about 2 weeks, he said he wanted to know wot i really wanted, i told him i need n want him but i've messed up, to cut the very long story short, he said he was giving me a second chance, i couldnt believe it, now he says i should forget it all happened, that i should think like we've just met n we r starting all afresh, and its being great!

I still feel bad n think i'm crap, but he told me i shdn't, tht if i was crap he wouldn't hv me back.

I owe it to GOD because in the middle of it all God sent someone to me, to tell me I AM STILL HIS CHILD ! And that was wot i needed, i cried n prayed to God for forgiveness, n whn  i knew He had forgiven me, i felt like a new person, i stopped overworking n went to church services instead, my fiance said he got closer to God thn as well as he couldn't tell nobody about his problem.

We've slowed it down about getting married though, we thought we need time to heal off, but with God, i won't let him down nomore.  He means the world to me and i love him so so much.

Thanks to all who gave an advise or the other, and to those who think its a made up story, i don't need to prove it,

If i'm in love with him, why not.

@okwanuzo3 Don't be too sure about naija babes anymore o. Alot are imbibing even the craziest idea all in the name of getting westernized. Things of value no more count cause it doesnt in the western world. It's just a pity. . .

There are too many ''anti-Nigeria'', even the so-called Nigerians. Little things like support and loyalty goes a long way, much more than we think. But i guess a lot of people prefer to stick up for other people's countries rather than theirs. I hope they wake up and smell the coffee, cuz we dont belong no wherelse than wherever we originated, you may decide to claim otherwise though, but it doesn't change the fact.

I guess the show would be fun with Tade Ogidan as the producer, why y'all running your mouths.

@ogamadam, thnx so so much. I have prayed and asked for forgiveness. It has even in a way brought me closer to God. I know i have no satisfiable excuse before God to kill my baby, but it was also in my baby's best interest cause i don't want him/her to experience rejection, i want us to be a whole happy family.

I couldnt look at the ultrasound, cause it would be too much for me. . . but i still find myself thinking its should hv been 18weeks old now. But honestly, i couldnt keep it, it would break me down, the father turned his back, and my parents would be too devastated, my fiancee wont stop crying, i was scared too.

I hope my baby knows i love him/her so much that i wont forgive myself if i bring her to life and make her suffer or rejected.

Hmmmm,

But what could i have done ?

akindayor:
@TITLAYOMI
your name does not befit u multifaced *******
u could kill for all i care , so much hatred in u sis get it of your chest go c a shrink!

I'm a very sweet lady, most people tell me that, i'm not troublesome but thats if its reciprocated. If a guy thinks he can take me for a ride,he's making the biggest mistake of his life. I don't do physical struggles, i'd rather deal with you when it would pain you more than the physical hurt you've given me.
I can't kill a fly @akindayor but its a lesson he would never ever forget. Why slap a lady for crying out loud. He sure knows i can't outbeat him so why slap me. Coward.

My ex-boyfriend slapped me once. I know i can be badmouthed, but can be really sweet too but for him to slap me, is just too way out but it was his funeral and i planned it well and made it befitting.
I sticked with him as if nothing was wrong for a couple of months showered him with love like never before. till it was his birthday, i planned a surprise party for him, it was really nice but i knew exactly what i was doing.
He was ecstatic about the whole thing, fell more in love, involved his family and everything and then i blew the bomb. . . Dumped him, walked away, told him he meant nothing to me all along.
He couldnt believe his eyes.

No one dares to slap me and go free.

What happened to spare the rod and spoil the child. . . good beating won't kill a child but teach him manners. Lets spare all the western theory bullsh*t that isn't working out for them.

I see that as sowing a great seed into the future. Why must you get married to someone you don't trust to stick with you. I'll do same if i were in their shoes.

My friend also advised me to do that, but i can't, i think i have done anymore harm n hurt to him already.

Donzman:
Wow. . . What an advice, glad titlayomi didn't take that advice. How you can do that to someone you claim to love is beyond me anyway.

Titilayomi, you probably made the best decision for yourself and your relationship. https://www.insidehoops.com/forum/images/smilies/applause.gif

You won't believe how much relief that sentence brought me.

Hmmmm, i've been away from this thread for such a long time because alot of water had passed under the bridge.
I don't know if what i have done is right but i have done it and thats it. Can't go back to redo it. I have taken All the criticism with no hard feelings cause i know i deserve it. I haven't completely taken all the advises though.
I decided to reverse my stupidity by getting rid of the baby at 14weeks old, which is kind of still haunting me but i couldn't bare the pain of disappointing him, my family, his family. The other guy isnt right for me, i have tasted real love and can't opt for less.
As for my man, i had to lie that it was all a lie. Can't bare losing his trust.Its a shame, and i hope it all doesnt catch up with me later.
Thanks for all your posts, and @Bhola. . . i didnt get to read your reply till now, would have seeked your advice on YIM and busta too.

I have certainly learnt my lesson in the hard way but,

I hope God forgives me and never allow my past to haunt me.

Good ridiance to bad rubbish ! I don't miss anything about him, i wonder how i hooked up with me in the first place. I must have gone nuts to have. He was badnews and an absolute nightmare.

how could i be so stupid ? how could hurt someone who loves me so much ? how could i ? I've ruined my life, i hv just ruined evrythg. Never tot i could be in love, until i met him and now, see how i pay him back.

He called back and said he still loves me but he burst out in tears again, i feel like i just want to walk away, walk aaway and not to come back. He says i cant abort it, tht i hv to hv the baby, and tht i shd tell my mom, omg, i will disapoint too many pple. After begging him, tht i cant keep it, he says if i can do smthg abt it b4 i come thn maybe,but i dont hv a clue on wot to do either. I guess its 6 weeks, n someone says it can be done with pills. i'm in a dungeon, i'm finished

I couldnt hold it from him no more, it was eating me up. i told him already, maybe i shd hv waited till i saw him to tell him cuz i'm suppose to travel to him b4 the end of this week. but he is so devastated now tht he says he doesnt want to see me. He cried and cried whn i told him, never seen or heard him cry b4. He kept asking me why ? how ? He cant go to work today, he had to call in sick. I begged him so much, i cried and pleaded, he says he cant bare to see me with another man's seed in me. He says he cant even touch me, he doesnt want to see me anymore, i'm losing it i'm going crazy.

Bhola:
Ok, girl, take a deep breath and relax. This is not the end of the world and it sure isn't the worst thing out there.

I know you are already feeling down and angry with yourself, so I will not bother to make you feel even worse.

First, let's take this one at a time. You both reside in different countries. How long have you guys dated? Did you guys date for long before you parted ways? How old are you two? Are you planning on moving to the same country with him? How often do you guys communicate? What do you do, Student, working?

See, I am asking all these questions, because that will help in solving this problem. You have to realise that we, you and I, have the right to make decisions that will affect our lifes positively, irrespective of what others think. You have to live for you first, before you can worry about someone else.

I most definitely have more to say to this, after you have answered my questions.

Like I love to say, "At the end, it shall be well, and if it is not, then it is not the end yet."

we've being dating for over a year. we didnt date for long at all b4 parting ways, i met him like a week b4 i travelled out of the country. But we fell so much in love in that 0ne week and ever since we being talking on phone n on net. but we met each others family via phone and its like we (including both families) hv known each other for ages.

I'm 23 and he's 27.

We talk on phone evryday or chat but we definitely communiate evry single day except on the few odd days. sometimes we talk 5 times or more a day. sometimes we talk for hours on fone. never tired of being with him.

we are both employed with reasonable jobs, we planned to move together b4 the end of nxt year.( though we are yet to reach an agreement on who's moving to who)

I'm in deep shit, can anyone help, i'm going crazy.
I'm so much in love with this guy, i cant stop thinking about him, my family knows him already. His family knows me too, we are nearly getting to tie the knot but we live in different countries, far away from each other. We promised to keep ourselves, a promise i'd kept till this regretful day when i had unprotected sex with a guy thats been chasing me for long. Till today, i dont know what came into me and made me do it. Split up there and then with him, then nemesis caught up when i found out i'm pregnant for him. 2 weeks away from the day i was suppose to travel to my fiancee after being apart for a year. DO YOU THINK HE CAN FORGIVE ME ? i'll do smthg bad to mysef if he doesnt forgive me.