₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Are her parents alive?

Her mum is late, but the dad is alive.

Mariangeles:
Why did you ask this of her?
I believe you had a reason, and I'd like to know why if you don't mind sharing.

Cc: Tomtomastom4

Nothing serious. Just wanted her to go home, sleep over it and send me a message. Cos I knw, some people when pouring out their mind might end up saying what they didn't mean. So I was giving her the benefit of doubt.

CC:
bukatyne saintmary

Bola145 kobojunkie

Mercychen Iyaebe

Mariangeles Favfable1

What I will say to ladies is that, when a guy approaches you for relationship/dating. Assess his financial capability before you accept him. Of his finance is low for your standard, please reject is advances so that you will be putting someone son under unnecessary pressure. When he doesn't actually have money to carter for your need, you will now be calling him stingy guy. Do you want him to go and steal. Also, it's good to note that even when you see his income flowing in, you should know that he has a family who are depending on him and that his family on a normal should be his priority.

I have learnt my lesson sha. Nothing concern me with any woman again. Let me just focus on myself and family. No need to start adding someone that will put pressure on me. when the work I do is giving me so much pressure. I feel emotionally down, but everything happens for good. At least since after I called for a break, all the time we spend at night making some calls, I have been using it to sleep and rest my head

Mayb before I reason woman matter, e go take time.

But then, why must it be that I will be the one to provide some of her needs. When my sis where in sch, I knw how our first son was doing all he can to send money to her. Back then when I was with him, I used to hear him call my sis and tell her when and how much he's going to send to her too. When I was in sch, my monthly up keep was coming from my brother, then when my sis started working, she was contributing half while my bro contribute half. Right now, our last born is in sch, am not the one sending him his monthly up keep, but every month I never fail to send money to him cos I don't a scenario where he will be managing.
My former babe have 3 sisters and a guy ahead of her. One of the sister is in paramilitary and the bro is in Canada, is it not their responsibility to send money to her.

Well, like I said, I have learnt my lesson.

There is no doubt. From my side, I have not really been supportive of her. Though I tried in my own way. I knw very well, I haven't given her money in the name of making her hair or buying cosmetics, but I knw that within the last one year, at least twice a week I usually send some small cash to her just to support her.

Though at one time, after her people where unable to complete her school fees before exam started, I paid up the balance, which was more than half of the fees.

But then I have my parents and brothers to support, and that should be my priority. She too she have senior siblings too who are working, so I supposed that her siblings she help her out in her finances.

When you say that someone is selfish or stingy, first of all find out his financial capacity and expenses before you conclude on that.

Two days later, she called me and both of us went back to the eatery to talk.

She poured out her heart, stating her "grievances" to me and telling me that am not doing well to make her happy. (In her words).

So I asked for clarification. She said that she can't go on with the relationship again, that if I can't take care of her now, how can I be able to take care of her when we are married and having babies and other responsibilities.

She mentioned times and times when she made me know that she was broke and without money while in school, but I didn't respond by sending something. That if I really cared for her, that I don't have to wait till she make request for money before I send to her.

She mentioned that I haven't for once given her money to buy cosmetics or to even make her hair.

She went on and on. Then finally she said she can't continue with me again.

Then I told her that I have heard her, but before I accept the break, she should send me a text message in the morning, informing me about her intention to break up with me.

Lo and behold, she sent me the message in the afternoon of the following day.

So officially, we have broken up. I feel really bad sha. Like I lost something very special to me.

About two weeks back, my friends tried to settle up, so that we would be back together. We all met in one eatery and they were advising. Cos they know that our relationship was serious and even planning to start our marriage process next year.

So after all the talk and advice in my mind I agreed to have her back, but she said she needed to think about it and have some words with me alone.

Update.

We have finally broken up.

.

killerdragon:
Hustle
Leave that stupid girl alone and face your front
When you have made it they will come running to you
I repeat leave that idiot alone o

OlapejuB:
Sincerely what you need is not a break. No No! You need her all round support. Someone you are marrying should support your business by marketing it because if the biz is thriving she will enjoy from it, so now that it is at the beginning, let her join and do her best. But if she is not supporting and complaining, you can be excused based on her complaint till things turn out well and even then, you will think twice before continuing with her. My submission o!

She's still in school. Not disposed to join the biz.

tosaino95:
You know what you're saying, okay oh i wish Safe journey you already embark on.

Thank you so much.

debbydams:
this life is short and simple..I don't stress myself over relationship if it works fine if it doesn't we move, in as much my business is doing fine and I'm eating a good food, then I'm fine.. what's mine won't leave me.

I fully understand you.

Thanks for your time and advice.

tosaino95:
make cross don go break on your heart

It's not as you think, but I know what am saying.

debbydams:
no, I mean don't argue with her, let her know u can't afford the gown,lf she doesn't listen den free her,u are a man u know what to do

Ok, now I get. Sure I knw wat to do.

debbydams:
play along, to avoid her stress

Play along.

Like buy the gown?

tosaino95:
No sex till marriage i laugh at you in Swahili

I have no comment on this one.

But I cross my hrt on this.

Saintmary:
Your Mom is wise. I tell you from hard earned experience, stay close to her and pray well.

All the best.

Thank you so much.

debbydams:
sit her down and explain to her things to her, the way you are explaining to us here

Not once, not twice. I have done that.

AutoChick4U:
Remember a supportive and respectful spouse supersedes all.

She's really supportive and understanding. It's one of numerous reasons why am holding on to her.

AutoChick4U:
Hope u read d story about d guy who's wife stopped feeding him because of gas? Self centered people can't hide their nature for long.

Ye... I saw the story. Learnt a lesson from it.

Thanks.

Saintmary:
Take it up prayerfully and handle the situation as the compassionate head of your home. Sometimes, mediators will not be available, will you give up because of that?

Prayer....

That's what my mum said sha.

God will see us through.

gentlestdude:
please I'm interested in the products you deal with, I will like to venture into something new.


about that girl, the funny thing is she will still wear that same gown to another guy's house just to impress the guy... abi no be student again?

Wch state are you...

Saintmary:
I'm glad you appreciate it, and I'm praying that your union will be successful to the shame of the devil and mockers. Cheers.

Amen...

I believe everything will be fine.

Saintmary:
I believe that for you to sustain your relationship for three years means you really love your girl, and if you can't sort out problems in this one, how will you learn to make things work in another relationship and marriage?

Keep your focus and you will be glad at the end. Good luck.

Seriously, I cherish her a lot.

Saintmary:
It's understandable. And to be honest, she's being headstrong.

Nevertheless, I would want you to consider where you started from, then try to reach out to her family too, let them know that you have good plans for her beyond expensive clothes, and really, show them how you plan to carry her along. If she has a reasonable Mom, she'll call her to order.

I believe you can make it. Just one step further and you'll overcome this challenge. Please pray too, pray against the devil that is trying to scatter your efforts over your family. I hope you pull through.

The only member of her family I can be able to relate this issue to is her brother who is currently in Canada and his number have not been going.

Saintmary:
Any marriage that is headed for success, especially one that is so decent like this one is an easy target for the devil who knows that it's pleasing to God. What I mean by decent is that you're avoiding sex, which is an admirable decision.

We are not ignorant of the devil's devices, he aims to steal, to kill, and to destroy.

And when you now have a woman who can't watch and pray? Easy prey. Just to whisper some nasty stuff and watch them start fighting.

Take time to pray well, set time for private time together, tell her she's important to you, don't listen to redpillers who are just bitter people. Yoruba people call their type "elegan"

Don't listen to naysayers, especially women who are advising you against your future wife, they are just jealous. When they get over their personal bitterness, they will not ask you for permission when they find their own partners, be wise.

May God give you the strength to overcome.

Thanks so much for the advice.

Saintmary:
I believe that for you to sustain your relationship for three years means you really love your girl, and if you can't sort out problems in this one, how will you learn to make things work in another relationship and marriage?

Keep your focus and you will be glad at the end. Good luck.

Am all willing to make the relationship work. We've had issues in the past and we resolved it one way or the other.

All things been equal, our marriage plans is supposed to begin by January next year.

I tried my possible best to manage this situation. I tried telling her that she can do her IT defence and any other occasions she want to attend with the cloths she already have. But she's making it look as if I don't care about her appearance.

I work in an organisation where one have to look good and dress smartly, but I can tell you that since Feb this year after I got a property in my home state, I haven't bought any reasonable cloth for myself.

Karleb:
This girl, is she her orphan?

Doesn't she has any relative?

Nah...
Though her mum is late. But she has like 3 brothers and two sisters.

Favfables1:
Oga...
I can't decide for you...
But if I were you, if seat her down one more time and explain things to her ((slowly and patiently)), if she still doesn't change ...I would show her the door without thinking twice... And besides sef, what is she adding to your life??

Well I don't knw how you want me to say what she's adding to my life.

Aside from the normal "companionship" that one get from been in a relationship, what else is expected.

And mayb before you bring up sex, it's not part of our relationship. Am for "no sex till marriage" and so is she.

bukatyne:
Please tell us her good qualities since you insist she is good.

Your story so far highlights only the bad qualities.

If I say she isn't a good lady, am not doing justice to her. When I compare to other ladies that I knw and to other ladies that my friends/brothers are dating, I can fully say that she's good.
Our relationship have been going on fine with the last two years. She's not even the demanding type. 90% of the time that I have given her money, I did that in my own, not on her request.

It's just within the last three months that this one started happening.