₦airaland Forum

Hi friend of you're single and looking for a women so must care about below qualities

Five Important Qualities to Look for in a Woman.
And one extra advice"

1. Its important to have a
woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time,
cleans up and has a job.

2. Its important to have a
woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. Its important to have a
woman, who you can trust and
who doesnt lie to you.

4. Its important to have a
woman, who is good in bed and
who likes to be with you.

5. Its very, very important that
these four women do not know
each other, and Should never Meet"


"Extra advice"
Must know about her history and make sure she is not prostitute or she have good manners " if she is elegant and honest so u must make kinship with her if not so u must kick her ass""kicking ass is very important "

Ladies, please be fair to men

In the world of people who kind of understand romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game goes. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, andyour face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have??

If you treat your woman like a Queen, she will treat you like a King. Women are Loving, Compassionate & Caring. Be careful what you give a Woman- Whatever you give a woman, She will make it greater........Give her sperm, She will give you a baby. Give her house, She will give you a home. Give her groceries, She will give you a meal. Give her smile, and she will give you her heart.She absolutely and creatively multiplies and enlarges wat she is givenThumb up to every Woman. "Like" if u r proud to be a woman

We believe true love does exist...........true love never looks in physical but it is felt in the heart

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.

But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.

So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.

When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.

She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”

The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”

The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.

The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.

With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.

And then she saw her name on it!

Confused, she asked, “What is this?”

That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”

The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you and will always love you

Romantic Ideas

Make a little loving gesture every day for one full year.

Cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie.

Take a bubble bath together.

Walk on the beach in the moonlight.

Put a note in a romance novel saying, "The story is great but our own love story is the best".

Put a single red rose on the seat of your lover's car before they go to work.

Send your lover a virtual postcard at least once a week.

Get every book ever written by your loved one's favorite author.

Get every movie starring your lovers favorite actor.

Keep twenty pounds of your lovers favorite candy on hand.

Take her to see the movie Titanic fifteen times.

Make love to him/her every night until he/she asks you to stop.

Give him/her twelve dozen roses on all their special days.

Compose a list: "101 Reasons Why You're the Greatest" Write each reason on a separate square of paper. Wrap them in a fancy gift box.

Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room.

Relax with a glass of white wine.

Listen to a romantic audio tape, fix a cup of hot flavored tea, and light two candles.

Keep a journal of your romantic fantasies. Share it with your soul mate.

Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me".

Take a picture of yourself in the most sexy outfit possible. Hide in a secret spot in your house and leave him or her clues on how to get there. Watch the sparks fly!

Put a blindfold on your lover and drive them to a place where you have a blanket, candles, strawberries, sparkling drinks, and a rose. Park the car and take off the blindfold while you read a poem you have written for them.

While your lover is in the shower, or bath, put their bath towel in a hot dryer for a few minutes. Greet them when they get out of the shower with the toasty towel.

Pull the bag out of your lovers breakfast cereal box and slit a small hole in it. Insert a love note. Tape up the bag and return it to the box. What a way to start the day!

Write a list of 50 or more things you like or love about your sweetheart.

Unplug the TV set. Put a note on the screen saying, "Turn Me on Instead".

Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain. It's fun and VERY sensual!

Build your lover a web page telling them why you love them so much. Mention special moments and add some images and cool links to topics that interest them.

Nigerian rice and stew

Prep time:

Cook time:

Serves:

Difficulty:



Grace Kerry makes a mixed meat and fish stew that you can make as spicy as you dare

Ingredients

6 lamb cutlets

6 drumsticks or chicken thighs

2 onions, chopped

2 coriander leaves

2 basil

1 sprig thyme, leaves picked

1 plum tomato

1 red pepper, chopped

1 scotch bonnet chilli, seeds removed, roughly chopped

100 ml vegetable oil

1 clove garlic, finely chopped

1 vegetable stock cube

1 tsp chilli powder

450 g basmati rice, soaked in water for 10 minutes

3 small salmon, cut in half

small bunch coriander, finely chopped to serve

Method

1. Put the lamb and chicken in a large saucepan along with half the onions and half the herbs. Pour over enough water to just cover. Season with a little salt, bring to the boil and simmer gently for 20 minutes until the meat is cooked and most of the water has been absorbed.

2. Blend the tomatoes with the remaining herbs, red pepper and as much of the chilli as you dare, depending on how hot you like your food - bear in mind scotch bonnet chillies are as hot as they get!

3. Heat the oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat, add the remaining onion and the garlic and fry gently until soft and golden. Add the blended tomatoes, stock cube and chilli powder, cover and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the cooked meat along with its poaching liquor. Stir gently, cover and simmer for another 20 minutes.

5. Drain the soaked rice and rinse with fresh water. Tip into a large saucepan, add enough hot water to come 2.5cm above the rice, and add the salt. Bring to the boil then reduce the heat, cover and simmer for 10-15 minutes until the rice is tender and all the water has been absorbed, topping up the water if necessary as it cooks.

6. Add the salmon to the stew and simmer for 10 minutes more until the stew has thickened and the oil settles on the top.

7. Fluff up the rice with a fork and serve alongside the stew with a sprinkling of coriander.

How to cook Moi Moi with Leaves

Uma (Thaumatococcus Daniellii) leaf is the Moi Moi wrapper you should be going for at all times. If you want your Moi Moi to cook even faster, this is the wrapper for you! It is 100% natural and even adds some flavour to the Moi Moi.






Preparation of the leaves

Remove the leaf stalks.

Wash the leaves meticulously. It is advisable to wash them at least 2 times. The first wash is with salt water and a foam sponge. This ensures that all the dust and dirt are removed. The second wash is basically rinsing them in plenty of water.

Also wash the leaf stalks, they will be used as padding for the base of the pot.




Usage

Mix the Nigerian Moi Moi.

Use the stalks of uma leaves that were taken out from the leaves to pad the base of the pot. These prevent burning of the wraps at the base of the pot.

Pour a small quantity of water into the pot and bring to a boil. The quantity of water should be so small that your fingers will barely touch it.

To make uma wraps: First of all, place 2 leaves on top of each other, fold them into a cone. Then bend the pointed end and hold it there. Put some moi moi mix into the cone. Fold the open end and place the wrap in the pot of boiling water.

It is advisable to use at least 2 leaves to make one wrap. This doubling ensures a better reinforcement for the moi moi wraps to avoid leakages. Please note that with uma leaves, it is hard to achieve 0% leakage but we can live with tiny leakages.

If you do not get it the first time, do not worry. This skill is perfected with practice. With time, you may even device your own easier method of doing this. Just remember that the goal is to make a wrap that allows the moi moi stay in the leaf without leaking out. There is no one formula of doing this, neither is it magic!

Looking gud cook, I u av any prob on how to cook any food pin me I will explain, ping me 30D90EF5

The Magic of Making Up #2

Nugget: What men want more than a pretty face or
teeny waist is to be ADMIRED by their partner. 
 
What it means: Many women believe men have an affair
with the 'secretary' because she's hot, young or has some
'physical' attribute she lacks.
 
The truth is most men that have affairs are CRAVING
admiration.
 
At home, many men feel nagged.
 
At the office, they are the 'hero'.
 
If a man doesn't feel admired at home, he becomes
easier prey for any woman that makes him feel respected
and admired.
 
When a woman makes her man feel admired she
cloaks him in 'anti-sl*t' armor because most men
would do just about anyting to NOT to lose her
admiration.

HUSBAND SUPERMARKET


Funny Love Story
Husband

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love, kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think. What must be awaiting me further on?"

So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day!

Why do ladies take relationships too
personal?
*U fail to call b4 bed,dey neva cal to check on
u.
*u call to say gudmorning,dey suspiciously
ask u jam questions y u didnt cal last nite.
*u change ur fb re/ship status,its bcoms
trouble.
*if u have a low batery n dey cnt reach ur
fone,dey assume u r wit sum1 else.
*u coment 'sexy' on anoda gurl's foto,she
quickly views her profile.
*u get too busy to spend som time
together,she says u are avoiding her.
*you answer her call,the 1st thing she says is
'where are you?'
*hmm,u dare nt buy urself a new pair of
shoes and then tell her u are broke.
*make no mistake to call anoda gurl ur
cousin,cos she already knows all ur relatives
by heart.
*you now talk to her on d fone for less than
2minutes,she says u are changing..
*forget her fone number and then you blame
it on ur weak memory,com'on,d ey claim u
know all the colours of her panties..
Its jst a simple relationship,we need you to
act like our gurlfrnd,and not like our mother!

HOW TO KNOW HE'S MARRIED NO MATTER HOW HE
LIES TO YOU HE'S NOT MARRIED:

1. He doesn’t want you to know where he lives. He will always get a room or come to your house to have sex
2. He switches his phone off late at night claiming that he values his sleep
3. If his wife is upcountry he will be travelling a lot especially over the weekend
4. He is well fed and well groomed a sign that someone cooks & cleans for him
5. He is never available on Sunday coz this is a family day
6. You might call him sometimes & hear a baby crying in the
background
7. He will never want you to meet his family members
8. On Sundays or over the weekend he will never pick your calls but he will call you back when the coast is clear
9. There are certain days of the year he will never be available Christmas being one of them
10. He will discourage you visiting him at work especially if the Mrs. is known by the fellow work mates
11. There will be that innervoice called the 6th sense telling you something isn’t right So ladies before you go around getting your hopes up or falling in love, Do a background check on any man hitting on you.......

Top 10 Lies Women tell Men...

1. I can't come i'm on my period..
2. I dont know..
3.The choice is yours
4. His just a friend
5. I'm a virgin
6. I'm on my way
7. I'm not in the mood
8. ‘I’ve got a headache
9. I miss u so much..
10. I can't do without u...

Agree or disagree

Does sex really promote love?? Explain y plz

A boy and a girl Loved each other
very much.
Unfortunately the Girl Died..
Boy was Upset so much;
and he couldn't Stop his Tears.
......He kept on Crying Day and
Night..
any People gave Sympathy,
but no Argument could Stop His
Tears.
One Night He Slept and had a
Dream;
He saw the Girl in Heaven with so
many Girlsof Her age.
He felt Relax..
But He Noticed that every Girl
was in Fairy Dress;
and had a Lightened Candle in
their Hands,
but his GF had a Candle which
was not Lightened..
He asked Her:
"Y Ur Candle is not Lightened?"
She said:
"Whenever I enlighten My Candle;
Ur Tears fall on it.. please stop
crying...

Are you in a relationship??
What's the main reason for you getting into a relationship?? Or are u just there to have sex and dump them.

How do/would you call your
partner?
1) Sweety
2) Darling
3) Honey
4) Sugar
5) Sweetheart
6) My Love
7) Chocolate
His/Her first name
9) Babe
10)Baby
11)Handsome
12)Beautiful
13)Gorgeous
14)Cutie
15)Other?specif y

Females, lets be clear....and REAL....a man isn't cheating with you because you are so good at being the other woman....he's cheating with you because you aren't good enough to be THE WOMAN. I laugh at women that brag about being the "go to" woman when the man gets bored at home, & you try to put down a submissive woman for being who God designed her to be. Learn what submission really means... A submissive woman is far from weak, because a true submissive woman knows how to carry the load for him and her both without him even having to know it. She knows how to speak to his spirit & not his lusts. She knows how to push him to his dreams instead E of pulling him to destruction. She knows how to pray with him and not play with him. She knows how to be quiet even when her flesh wants to speak. She knows the value of his hard work & not just his money. A submissive woman is his "LIFETIME" but you are just a "GOOD TIME"...and that's all you will ever be. He knows that he can throw a few money & material possessions your way & that's all you will ever expect. The other woman makes it easy for a man, the submissive woman makes it easy for herself by making him EARN & not buy her. You are the O.T.H.E.R. woman...an Overplayed Toy He Eventually Releases —

Girlfriends are like virus,

they will enter your life,

Scan your pocket
,
Transfer your money,

Edit your mind,

Download their problems to you,

Delete your smile & hang your life,

then you ask sex life in Kenya to help you out....
hit like if you agree!!

#teardrop#

lets go...!

You + Your Ex GF/BF locked in a room for a night =________
1. Sex
2. Fight
3. Movie
4. Nothing
5. ________?

It's colour time! What nail colour are you wearing? Today I'm wearing the NEW Color Riche Rose Paradise 201, click here to pick yours >> http:///xjsAzt or you can enter here for your chance to WIN the full collection >>

Can you kiss your patner in public?

�.YES

�.NO

�.MAYBE

�.DEPENDS WITH THE PLACE

That is d pic

Beer Battered Fish

Fried fish is so boring. Battered fish is much better but Beer Battered Fish is the best!

This recipe needs no long talk, just go and make it then send me a feedback. That's how sure I am that you will love it.





Ingredients for Beer Battered Fish

500g (1.1 lbs) Fish

One can of Beer

10 tablespoons plain (all purpose) flour

Seasoning (to taste)

1 medium onion (for frying)

Vegetable oil (for frying)

Notes on the ingredients

You will not use up the whole can of beer, just enough to make the flour mixture like pancake batter.

The carbonation in the beer makes the batter light and crisp. The beer flavour gives the batter a nice taste which works well with the fish. I don't know how to adequately explain this because some things are better experienced than read about

You can also use sparkling/carbonated/gaseous water to achieve the light and crispy effect but be rest assured you are not getting the same taste. The salt in gaseous water may even ruin the taste.

The alcohol in the beer escapes during frying hence this snack is alcohol free. You can use non-alcoholic beers to be completely sure.

You can prepare this small chop with your favourite soft fish with soft bones such as Mackerel (Titus), Cord, Panga, Pollock etc.

Use your favourite seasoning. I only use stock cubes, ground cayenne pepper and salt.

Directions

Cut the fish into thin slices, say 1 cm thick. You want the fish to be done by the time the batter is crispy.

Cut the onion into big chunks.

Crush the stock cubes and mix with the ground pepper.

Season 2 tablespoons of flour with the stock cube/pepper mix. Set aside.

Season the fish with the same mix and set aside.

Set some vegetable oil on the stove to heat up. The oil should be 2 to 3 inches deep.

Put the remaining flour in a separate bowl. Add some of the seasoning mentioned above.

Add small quantities of beer at a time to the seasoned flour and mix as you go till you get a light flowing batter similar to pancake batter.

When the oil is hot, dab a piece of fish in the seasoned flour making sure that the flour covers all the fish. This helps more batter adhere to the fish.

Dip the dabbed fish in the batter making sure all parts of the fish are covered before putting it in the oil. Repeat the process for as many pieces of fish your frying container will allow without overcrowding.

Fry at medium heat till light brown and crispy.

Put in a paper lined sieve to drain.

Serve as a small chop or with potato chips and any drink of your choice. Yummy!

A STRANGE BUT TRUE STORY FROM BRAZIL
(Give him a place He will shield you)
A girl was going on outing with her two friends and their three boyfriends, in a small car.
Then the Mum said to the daughter, "may God protect you and let Him move with you"
The daughter laughed indisguise and replied:"Mum the car is full maybe if God moves in the boot, let him try there ."
They then drove and went away. Then a terrible accident happened, the car was destroyed beyond recognition, all who were in died and some of them were only recognised by checking on the clothes they wore.
Suprisingly, when the police opened the boot of a car, they found two trays of eggs which not even one was damaged, in that crashed car.
NOTE:
If the daughter had invited God and given him a place in the car, he would have saved them and noone of them would be hurt or damaged as he protected the Eggs in the boot where he was given a place.
MORAL LESSON:
wherever you're going, whether in good or bad, call his name and walk with Him. He will shield you from everything.
If you're ready to move with God and you believe he will shield you,
press 'LIKE' or write "AMEN"
May He always be with you althrough d new week nd month

VIRGINITY is not lack of opportunity,
Virginity is wisdom..
Every girl has an opportunity to have sex with any guy nd also a guy has d same opportunity.
Only a wise girl would keep hers..
And those who have lost theirs, you can still be wise and stop sleeping with every guy who says 'I love you'..What's the guarantee he's gonna marry you?
Sex isn't love.....d person dat brought d statement VIRGINITY IS LACK OF OPPORTUNITY is A useless skul tout drop out......frm d owner of dis OKOYE.

A professional thief went to a babalawo(NATIVE DOCTOR) to get a charm that can enable him go through walls. The babalawo told him to go bring a black cock. He went looking for a black cock to buy but couldn't find one. Then
he remembered that he has a black cock at home. But his cock has a


white colour at the tip of its tail. He took a scissors and cut off the white tip then
took the cock to the babalawo. The babalawo made the charm for him with it but he warned the thief that it may not work perfectly. The thief was adamant so the next day he went t
o a neighbours shop to try his new superpower. There were many people relaxing at the shop. He just went in majestically, opened the'safebox, took the money and went out. The people started chasing him.There is a wall close by. When the people came closer, he just disappeared into the wall, but his buttocks remained outside.The people just stayed there contemplating what to do with buttocks. If you were there, what would you have done?