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https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2020/01/resolution-not-3d.html

Hi guys! Happy new year. It was quite a break but I'm back now.

So we've all drafted out a new year resolution. The Do's and Dont's that we think it's supposed to take us through the year and make us better. No doubt there's a heightened drive towards being better especially at the beginning of the year. But most times it grows cold as the year progresses. But It's all good.

Some people don't do the whole "Resolution" for the new year thing. They believe it's supposed to be an everyday resolution. We shouldn't just wait for 365 days to work on ourselves. More damage might have happened before the year runs out.

While others believe that at the end of the year, they should be a review of how the year was spent, high points and low point, then draft out set goals for the new year. Most popular New year Resolutions include:
- Eating Healthier
- Exercise more...............................
To Continue reading click
https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2020/01/resolution-not-3d.html

https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/feminism.html?m=1

Feminism.

Everytime people ask me if I'm a feminist I smile. I'm neither a feminist nor anti feminist. Although I used to call myself one. The idea behind feminism is a good one- A fight against sexism. It involves at least two group of claims: Normative and descriptive. Normative in the sense of how women ought to be viewed and treated on a background conception of justice and moral position. Descriptive claim- how women are treated which is not in accordance with standard of justice.


Feminism has grown from pushing equality in political rights to education, work place, home etc. Issues feminists try to tackle include: Abortion, affirmative action, equal opportunity, sexuality, institution of marriage, love etc
A typical African feminist would say she fights mostly against:
-Disrespect for a woman's body.
- the idea behind the celebration of the birth of male child than female.
-Women being sent out of their husbands' home or tagged barren for not giving birth to a male child.
Etc

In recent times many people have disassociated themselves from such term because it is not a single philosophical doctrine and comes with a lot of controversy (Doctrine of the Trinity, Abortion etc)

The misconceptions people have against feminist and which are reasons why people don't call themselves feminists include:

- Feminists hates men. They think all men are rapist, oppressive and evil.
- Feminists are lesbians
- feminists lack the touch of feminity
- Feminists are cold and bitter women
"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” ~Pat Robertson..................... continue reading click
https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/feminism.html?m=1

https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/celibacy_19.html?m=1

Life of a Celibate


Celibacy (Abstaining from sexual intercourse as a single person) this word is somehow alien to many people. It's no longer a word common in this age. The meaning comes with a pungent taste in the tongue for most persons. Sounds almost impossible to choose that kind of life as a single person.

They're male and female Celibates. Although I stand to be corrected, they're more female Celibates than male. Especially the virgin ones. Although Celibacy is not entirely virginity.

Being a Celibate is a choice. Reason for actually being one is different for so many people.

- I have slept with so many people who don't deserve to see me naked because I was thinking Sex was what it takes to actually make it work in a relationship and I don't want to do that again. Sex ruins things for single persons. It affects decision making. It's some time confused for what it isn't (love). It's a short-lived pleasure that most times comes with regrets.

- I'm a virgin. The perfect gift to give to my husband is my virginity. I can't possibly share that part of my life with anyone other than the man that has chosen me to be his 'helper' for the rest of our lives. And I believe he's going to respect me for that. And I will be proud of myself for actually being strong enough to withstand the pressure.

- Sex is sacred. Its a binding covenant between you and the person you're sleeping with. I have made a vow between God and my sex life. Now the decision of having sex with other people is more than just me. It now involves God. God has instructed us in his book to flee from fornication.

Most of the times Celibates are disappointed. Some get tired at a point and let themselves fall to a man's seduction.

* I told him I'm Celibate, he agreed but at the long run he wanted more and he went for it but I refused. The relationship ended.

* I told him I'm Celibate and he ran off because he was true to himself that he can't live with that.

* I told him I'm Celibate, he agreed. Although it seemed hard for both of us but we are still Celibate. We're strong for each other.


And for the straight up ones that don't see anything wrong with having sex with their partners outside marriage:

~Sex is bae. It's the binding factor. It's the fun in the relationship. It strengthens the relationship. "The body has needs" and sex satisfies those needs.

~ Sex is the only way you prove to your partner you love him and with it you can have him all to yourself so he doesn't have a reason to look elsewhere for that satisfaction. Sex makes it easy for me to......... Continue reading click https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/celibacy_19.html?m=1

https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/how-long-is-enough.html

"When I'm ready to get married, after 6 months if the man I'm seeing at that moment isn't saying anything about marriage, I will it call it quits".. This was a statement that led to a heated argument among a circle of girls. Too many sides of this topic was dissected but for me I came to a conclusion at a point. But before I delve into the later, let me first tell you the different takes of people on it.

Girl A: (In a relationship) 6 months is very small to start having marriage talks with your patner. The guy might just feel uncomfortable and believe that the girl is desperate for marriage. And besides she doesn't think that at that time they might not have known each other well to actually consider marriage. Well her point in summary is maybe after a year, then such conversations should set it. That half-a-year old relationship isn't rooted enough to carry the baggage that comes with marriage.


Girl B In a relationship) She thinks 6 months is enough if not 3 months. She's of the opinion that knowing fully well that age is not a girl's friend, she wouldn't be wasting her time on someone who is undecided about what the future is as it concerns both of them at the 6th month of the relationship. She believes the earlier she call it off the earlier she's unto the next one. She also mentioned that, "getting to know your patner" is a forever course. It's never instant. .


Girl CSingle) Every guy in his heart knows what he's is looking for before asking a girl to marry him. That once he has seen the 'one' thing then he doesn't mind proposing. The earlier he sees what he's looking for in a girl the earlier he starts to plan his future with her. She also mentioned being financially stable is another catalyst to such plans. A man weighs his pocket first before bringing up such talks. Although men, in their quest of getting "more money" seems unending. The more they have, the much more they want.

Girl D: ( spiritual person) Before agreeing to be in a relationship with someone you must have to pray so you know if this person is serious and wants to have a future with you. And until you....................... to continue reading click - https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/11/how-long-is-enough.html

What women do for the title! It's maddening. There's so much pressure to make things work out even if its a dead end.

She's feeling moist, that's a familiar feeling.
She's blue black, that's a familiar Color. .
She's going to die soon, that's a familiar thoughts.
She listens as her head hits the floor, that's a familiar sound.
She swallows her blood that's a familiar taste.

She Aches
She shakes
She craves for death.

She was warned
But she thought she was going after what she loves.
She thought he would change, yes he did but only for the worse.

She talks while he talks, she gets a fist.
She doesn't talk while he talks she gets a kick.

Now she's holding the answers to her prayers.

Only a Sip will take the pain away.
Only a Sip and she would be accepted by the other side.
Only a Sip would give her peace.

Cos!

She has been rejected by love.
She has be cursed for loving.
She has loved him to death and only death could undo.


I was having a conversation with my friend one time and I asked her at what point would you tag your relationship as being "Abusive"? Is it when he hits you twice in a week or twice a day? Is it when he hits you whenever you guys are having a heated argument?... She said she could tolerate few slaps only when she knows she had done something wrong. I was shocked by her response.


Its very easy for most of us that are single and are watching from afar to frown at the reason why people stay in such relationships.

Being able to identify that you're in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship is a giant step. Also believing that you don't deserve to be treated that way is a step closer to the solution.

Abusive relationships can be seen in any type of relationship. From the intimate to the platonic and more so in marriages.

Sometimes Its annoying when I see people that are just dating being victims of this menace. He hasnt seen your parents before, he doesn't know what your village looks like but he's always leaving scars on you.

It also applies to the girls, always using abusive words on their men. And sometimes we don't consider it abusive because literally there's no physical scars on them, forgetting that those scars that are not visible are the worst kinds and they hardly heal.


We would always advice a woman who is married to such man to leave the marriage. But she has several things to consider before making such decisions.

- What would happen to her children. How would they survive? How would they feed? Where would they stay? What happens to their education? Where would she stay? How's the parents going to feel about it? Can she survive without him? What is the society going to stay? After, what happens next? Is she going to feel better? Is she going to heal? Is she going to get married again? What would happen if he pleads and promises not to do it again?


Source: www.tracywrite.com.ng

Cyber addiction is real. I don't know if I would say it's a bad thing or not because it depends on what we're surfing on. Am very sure am not the only one who feels like my phone is as good as a calculator whenever my data subscription runs out. No doubt a great number of people especially the youths are into this. So Many things are being done online. But some of us fail to use the internet as a tool for being a better person. I believe the internet can give us 50% if not more of what we need to be what we want. Most times We fail to recognize that.

Instagram and YouTube importantly are platforms where people exhaust their data. We stream videos and follow our favorite celebrities and so on. These influential persons we "stalk" are people who have found and are living their purpose. All we do is watch, like and forget to particularly learn anything from them. Any platform that is eating up your data while you're not learning anything is a waste. Seeing those beautiful pictures and videos should be a motivating factor but most times it's tends to intimidate us. For some people it reduces their esteem.

I belong to the school of thought of that if you're not earning from being on social media 2-4-7 then it's not worth it.
Don't just waste it, giving your network providers your money like a weekly contribution because most of this monthly subscription don't last for more than 2weeks now which is also greatly dependent on our usage.

Learn new skills, perfect your skills.........
Source:. https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/08/the-new-addiction.html?m=1

What do you think about the evaluation of the mental state of our spouses before marriage and more importantly before child birth?

The importance of mental assessment can never be overemphasized. We've seen so many irregularities that presents itself in marriages now and most times we question the sanity of the couples. Why not before we say our "I DOs", while running for all the premarital screening tests (Blood Group, Genotype, HIV etc) we should also visit a therapist to assay if we are actually ready to be married. It will go a long way in curtailing the emotional and physical abuses presenting itself in some marriages. During courtship it might be a smooth ride but for marriage, the reverse is the case.

Most importantly, before having children, parents should be evaluated too honestly. You need to be fit upstairs if you............
Source: https://www.tracywrite.com.ng/2019/06/check-your-head.html?m=1

At different points in our lives, love has meant different things to us. As We grew the definition of love changed. We used to define love as what we saw in movies or heard in songs. We thought love was in midnight calls couples made, was the sex people had, was is in the actions of people.

While some don't believe in the existence of love, others are yet to know or feel love. They say: Love is meaningless, love is only in the head, love is felt and expressed. Love is pain, love is death, love is money. Love is life, love is God, love is you, love is continuous....................


But for me now, Love is sacrifice and there's nothing convenient about that word. Love is a decision.
Sacrifice is about giving out with no expectation of reciprocation. Sacrifice is about giving out from the nothing you............................. . Continue reading. https://tracywrite..com/2019/06/love-is.html?m=1
...............
Am writing about love as platonic intimacy,. Love as you and me.

Bringing up children is a difficult task that requires the Grace of God. Especially when it has to do with a girl child. As a girl there were things that happened to us that we didn't mention because we were afraid that the people we would say these things to might not believe us or we'd get beaten for saying these things. Sometimes we show our parents/guardians some pointers to the things that are eating us up but they're too busy to notice.

Many of us have watched the docuseries; Surviving R-kelly and we've frowned against it but that's just a tip of what's going around the world. Yes there are still girls out there afraid to talk. Afraid to say how this "uncle", "neighbor", "family" touched her in a wrong way. Molested her and promised her chocolate, told her not to tell her parents because her parents will unleash hell on her, touched her and left her with aches all over.

Girls are not the only victims of this inhumane acts. Young Boys too suffer these abuse from people we look up to, people we have.........

Source: https://tracywrite..com/2019/01/things-we-hide.html?m=1

THINGS WE HIDE
Bringing up children is a difficult task that requires the Grace of God. Especially when it has to do with a girl child. As a girl there were things that happened to us that we didn't mention because we were afraid that the people we would say these things to might not believe us or we'd get beaten for saying these things. Sometimes we show our parents/guardians some pointers to the things that are eating us up but they're too busy to notice.

Many of us have watched the docuseries; Surviving R-kelly and we've frowned against it but that's just a tip of what's going around the world. Yes there are still girls out there afraid to talk. Afraid to say how this "uncle", "neighbor", "family" touched her in a wrong way. Molested her and promised her chocolate, told her not to tell her parents because her parents will unleash hell on her, touched her and left her with aches all over.

Girls are not the only victims............
https://tracywrite..com/2019/01/things-we-hide.html?m=1

In as much as preaching celibacy in this era is like looking for a bone in an egg, which is not where I want to pitch my tent on today, WHY is it that there's an increasing number of women going into marriages pregnant?

Am I the only one that have noticed this trend? And am I the only person who feels uncomfortable about it?

Is it a planned event?


Is it a trait of desperation? .

Is it a fertility test?

A result of trust issues?

Sometimes these conditions are brought to the table. "you must get pregnant for me first before I will go see your parents"

When a lady says I am getting married,

Source: https://tracywrite..com/2019/05/pregnancy-influencer.html