₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Wowzerful! I read all your posts OP and totally understand where you sit.

Hmmmm, the embarrassment of whoooops-she-did-it-again... The unending insults from your folks... The burnt out cable( single mother of TWO from TWO men! Kabiesi o!) The emotional stress of managing pregnancy .... To add serious salt to injury, the bobo doesn't give a hoot about you! Whew! I understand...I sure do. However, sheet really happens and there's nothing in this world that hasn't been seen before. Biko, give this baby a chance...

Once he/she is here, and you hold him/her in your arms...You would see all you've been through is worth it. Let them talk...You would be the winner and God won't let you do it alone. He caters for His children.

About the bobo, can you stay off his face right now until baby bump gives him a cold reality? Yeah...then he would see that he's indeed about to be a father. Meanwhile, don't let him off the hook...call him into even the cheapest bill! It is well, may God help you.

Thanks for this... myself and him are on speaking terms right now . I honestly just don't want to force his hand..I know if I insist, he will actually succum.. but would that actually make me happy? We already broke up and I don't want pregnancy to be the yard stick to reconciliation. If you know me personally, you will understand that ever since I had my first, I don't leave anything to chance. I'm aways careful. I'm still in total shock at this pregnancy. But in all. . I know it is well.

MizMyColi:
You are welcome.

I had typed stuff earlier, but decided against posting here.

In the end, it's the OPs life and she is free to do with, whatever she thinks is best for her.

But I speak, not just as a mother, but as someone whose life calling bothers on humanity itself....

Abortion is never the easier route.
It isn't.
It isn't.

As I type this, my head is filled with memories of people's exoeriences.

Whether it's a day old foetus or a 9 month baby...it does not change the fact that a human being has been cut off even before getting the chance to catch a whiff of life.

Before now, I would say stuff like.....
"I don't support abortion over reasons like this o, but if you feel it's best for you....well it's your life"

Alas, I guess my recent experience (birthing) has deleted that kind of diplomacy from my head.

*sighs*

I wish I could say more, but I'm constrained.

I earnestly pray that you have a change of heart. I also pray that things get better for you financially. I pray that the father shows empathy and support. I pray for heaven's divine guidance at a time like this for you.

I cannot pretend to understand what it must be like for you...
But I believe you have been imbued with strength to overcome and rise above.

I'm sorry I indirectly called you a coward Inugo? It's just how I really feel, however I could have kept that to myself seeing as it's not helpful to you in any way at the moment.

I may never contribute shi shi towards ur pregnancy or raising the child. But I know that you are not without help. If you decide to accept your fate in good faith, and earnestly seek your creator in prayer and meditation, you will notice changes. You will first be filled with strength and uncommon joy.

Troubledheart Please do not abort. I KNOW THAT the other option isn't easier either....but please don't abort.

Chai, I pray I become financially balanced someday so I can create a foundation/home that takes in people in situations like this and similar ones.

It is well.

Amen.. thanks. Like most people advised, I'm no longer taking any decision on my own. At least we (i mean myself and my ex) are talking about it and so far so good he's been reasonable.

Bitchvibe:
I wil bury you on your own thread and that waste inside you that would never amount to anything If brought up by you. I'm busy right now. Ebu onye akunakuna na nairaland, ashewo to re nairaland, prostitute stop stalking me

Whatever you wish anyone is what will happen to you.

Bitchvibe:
Crime and getting pregnant are two different things. Pls receive sense.

Your words...
I have nothing else to say to you.

No wonder..

aflyingbird:
Lies . He died and it's so funny to you ..... carry on . Lies .

It's not funny.. I didn't mention it from the beginning because I did not want to gather unnecessary sympathy.. it's more than Wat you think. I put funny there to spite her own comment which was uncalled for. If you've been reading, there has been well constructed criticisms I've seen reasons to... but her comment made no sense at all.

Bitchvibe:
What are you saying? I knew this was fake. What's the great deal about saying he died.

Now I see why noone wants you. You're trouble to the very body you possess. Public toilet. You deserve to die when carrying out that abortion from your chlamydia infested pewsey. I will make sure you lose that pregnancy on this thread. Don't try me.

Lol... continue to tell us about yourself.
Meanwhile, I'm sorry for actually responding to you in the first place. I should have read your personal text first. You are on nairaland to make silly comments. You even sound so troubled.. looking at your comments, I feel a lot better. You obviously need more help. I pray you find some.

And good luck finding out what your real sexuality is... actracted to girls but u would rather be with a guy... hiss..

Bitchvibe:
Ok, I'm no lesbian but I begin to wonder about my sexuality. I would be with a guy anytime anyday but to get it on, I prefer seeing a n.aked girl than a guy.

I would never date a girl. Can't do that shit, eating pewssy, Eww. Is this normal?
I love boobs and butt but not mine

Lol

Bitchvibe:
Youve already made up your mind, So why are you telling us? You are not a good person. A good person is characterised by good choices. You want to kill a baby. And you have failed your first child by not giving him or her a father and a home. Your baby daddy will marry someone else and have kids he will actually be a father to.

Lol...very funny. ... thank you.. in blessed memory.. he died 3years back. But good luck being his ghost wifey.. bear him lovely ghost kids too.

Mimzyy:
My bad. She isn't a troll. She's genuine. Troubledheart, I am really sorry for derailing your thread. 'twasnt intentional, too many trolls on here lately and one only gets to find out after so much time has been wasted offering genuine advice. I AM SORRY. FORGIVE ME.

It's fine.. keep my secret. Thanks.

DarkRebel101:
Of course. She doesn't seem very mature either, nor does she come across as one fully aware of the many implications of her action(s).

Somehow I have an inkling as to her true identity—gleaned from her single-mother status and writing style. But, I'd rather keep mum and not impinge on her privacy.

You don't know the whole story. . And what you are assuming based on what you have read is quite wrong. I don't want to start telling you everything. But it's fine. Your opinion is Wat you have typed. Not actually what it is. I finally told him.. and he has called again that he wants us to see and talk. I'll make my decision after that. You have tried. Thanks for all your sayings.

Mimzyy:
You sent a mail with this moniker. I just rcvd that.

I sent with another 1st and you didn't get it? Why do I have a feeling you got it but just don't want to admit it?

Mimzyy:
Been refreshing. Still the same. Just the old messages.

Can't do more than this. Be patient I already sent it. Or paste ur number let me call u.

Mimzyy:
It takes less than a minute to get a mail notification on NL. I am yet to receive any.

Then your email has issues. I sent it twice. Tried the third time and they said I have sent too many anonymous mails. So refresh ur email or something

Mimzyy:
Patiently waiting.

Sent. Please respond. Hope it makes you happy.

Mimzyy:
Send a mail. If I'm wrong, I'll tender an open apology right here. If you're unable to prove me wrong, I'll cc the mods.

I am going to email you with my real account here on NL.

thorpido:
Op,when you talk to your boyfriend,let's know what he says.
If I may ask,how many weeks is this pregnancy?

Saw him last on the 6th of December. Last period started 16th of November...
I called him this morning. His exacts words were so am going to be father very soon? I told him I don't want to keep it and he asked how old it is, told him I plan to do a scan later today to be certain. And he said OK, no problem, take care and ended the call.

Mimzyy:
I feel so much pity for those that have actually taken their time to reply the op. He is a troll, isn't that so obvious? Lolz . If he isn't, I'll be willing to eat my words and apologise.

Paste your number.

baby124:
Good. Don't force an answer. Give him a little time to think about it. Also use this time to think and prepare yourself for either good or bad. You can give a week, and then you both come to a conclusion. Good or bad, whatever you decide, you will be fine. Just have a positive mind and focus on the future.

Hmmmm.. okay.. thanks for all.

Evina:
Why do I get the feeling that this ex of yours is a married man?

No he is 100percent not.. very much single. I'm certain.
He is two years older and has got a bright future ahead.. he is just coming up..

Pidgin2:
Nooo insult intended but you seem selfish. It's not all about you dear, there is a life involved now and if it means giving him or her up for adoption rather than murder I think you should do it for your child. Forget about your thoughts and save this life by giving him or her up for adoption if you can't cope

How about condemning her or him to a far worse unknown fate.. I understand your point.. I wish it was as easy as it sounds.. thanks all the same. Would make a decision after talking to my oga at dawn.

DarkRebel101:

I read every single letter you wrote. If you weren't screwing around, then tell me, signora - was it the Holy Spirit that had you impregnated? Ave Maria, Ora pro nobis!

There's no difference – at least to me – between screwing many people and screwing one person with whom you have no intention of having a future—they both fall under the category of casual sex.

Here's an excerpt from your initial post:

Are the wrong ones you speak of not those you've dated, and possibly had sexual relations with? How's that not screwing around?

That's unimportant anyway, the kernel of the issue here is your failure to learn from past experience by choosing time again to have sex with someone you hold no marital prospects for, while fully well that contraceptives are not fail-proof, and mishaps like condom leakages linger forebodingly in the north wind.

Yes, we must all have sex at some point, and it reaches a time when dildøs and cucumbers lose their appeal, but given your antecedents, one would expect that whoever you choose to torque beneath the bed sheets with should be one who's already a cinched deal—not someone you can't even bring yourself to inform him of your pregnancy.

And I'm wagering your first child was fathered by a different man. No?

Admit it, you were reckless and didn't give your actions much thought.
But, it's inutile wailing over spilled milk, and it's time to move on.

And the only way moving on can be made possible is surely not by MURDERING an innocent soul, but by having the balls to deal with the mistakes you've made.

Okay Ma or Sir? Thanks..

Divay22:
Just sit down and decide what you'll do with it,All the comments i have seen,some have suggested Abortion or having the baby,you have one way or the other given them reasons Why you can't Abort or have the baby......
Let your Ex know about it,whatever he decides you can then work on that........you are the one wearing the shoe and you know where it pisses We can only advice which everyone has done,so it up to you now to choose which is worth it.....




Remember we are free to carry out our actions but we ain't free from the consequences of it,whatever you do ask your creator for direction......



Peace

Thanks a lot.

baby124:
Ok so will you want to end your life because you did not get your way all the time in life? Same way you cannot conclude that you will not try because you think he does not want to be with you or because all your relationships have been bad. Despite your previous bad relationships you still entered a new one.

Are you ashamed of people knowing you had an abortion because he did not want the child? You can't make any man marry you. Him deciding to marry you will be because he stepped up because life happened to you both. If he decides not to step up then you are free to do what is in your best interest. Do not make assumptions for him till he has had the opportunity to make his opinion known. If you are going to tell him, the earlier the better.

HHmmmmmmm.....will try to call him at dawn.. thanks.

baby124:
Well yes. He could decide to marry you or support you. People marry for several reasons. It's his child he has a right to make the decision if he wants it or not. So do you. I think it is a decision that should be made by the both of you. I understand you not wanting to be a single mum to two kids from different father's and the accompanied stigma. You are young and want to improve your life. But in life things don't always work as planned. You need to tell him. If he's not a criminal or a bad person, give him the chance to decide if he wants to make a family with you. Not being ready for marriage does not mean he would not have married you if he was. Except you know something we don't here.

My dear.. I've suffered too much in relationships to end up in an unhappy home. I don't want to Marry a man because of a child. Yes I love him but love is never enough. He broke up with me, pregnancy now bringing us back together... doesn't just feel right for me. I want to be have a happy home weneva that happens and have a man be with me for other reasons not just a child..

baby124:
OP,
It seems like in your heart you know this guy will not be a good husband, and you do not see him in your future. Because I see no reason why him not being ready to marry you is an excuse not to tell him about the pregnancy. He could change his mind and decide to struggle it out with you. I have a feeling there is more to what you are telling us. Was this a one night stand or friend's with benefits? Look, evaluate your life and do what is best for you. None of us here will help you take care of that child or give you money to feed. The ball is in your court. If you are big enough to have sex, you are big enough to face the consequences.

Changing his mind because I'm pregnant? .. I conceived unknowingly before we broke up and for the reason why we broke up I can't tell him. No, not a one night stand. Known him for close to 4years, friends for the better part and lovers for roughly a year.

Bobmaintain:
@troubledheart... If i may ask: how about your family? Your parents and siblings? Have you confided in them? Can't they be able to support? Are you working? How old are you now?
Answers to these questions will help us have a clear picture of what you are really into and what we can proffer.

Can't tell them. I run my own business and currently about to start my masters. I'm doing OK for myself and I'm turning 26 soon. Giving birth isn't an issue like I said before, but giving the child a quality life. I have too many things on my plate right now to actually do that.

bennyrazz:
the thing dey sweet, hin dey sweet, belle No 1 enter, u born am. We gree say na mistake. The thing still kan sweet sotey, u spread ur leg again sotey, u receive belle No 2 without being married. Well, the bitter truth is you wanted it that way so why complaining? Abegiii the way u carried belle No 1 for 9months, get ready to carry belle No 2 for 9months. U don successful turn yourself to a professional single mother. Very soon, u fit even start surrogacy sef cuz u are very potent. The result of too much love for sex is what is disturbing you @op. I wish you safe delivery byeeeee

You are very very wrong. I hope this never happens to you or any one close to you.. then you'lld understand. Anyways, I didn't come here to be pitied so you are entitled to your opinion but trust me you have no idea of what you just typed. Thanks anyway.

aflyingbird:
Yup , she's only looking at posts she agrees with . I suggested adoption buh I guess she doesn't want dat

I'm not sure I can handle adoption.. if I ever keep this pregnancy to term, twont be easy giving him or her up wen I know it's my blood to an unknown fate without me in it. . The bond and all..I would want to keep it no matter how hard it would be.

Twaci:
Dude seems like you are screaming

Easy there

Troubledheart, I'll use his words now;
If you can't love and provide for kids DON'T HAVE THEM! #think about the child

...but if you can, why waste it?

I totally get you.. this wasn't planned at all. . I never expected it.. I already have my hands full with one already.. and I don't wish to give any child any living short of the best.. It's not a matter of shame at all. . But I can't afford to take care of this one. My first is almost five and I had him to the man who deflowered me, I was inexperienced then, wen it happened abortion wasn't even an option and I've never been pregnant outside that till now. I've been super careful..i don't engage in sexual activities outside a relationship and I was careful (condoms and contraceptives) this pregnancy remains a mystery to me.

DarkRebel101:
[b]You claim you can handle the truth, yet the only comment you seem to fancy on this thread was the one which advised that you opt for an abortion on the basis of you lacking the wherewithal to provide for the unborn child.

No, no...you can't handle the truth. You have your mind already made up, and you're merely fishing for validation. Your wish is to abort the baby.

If you knew you didn't have the means to cater for a second child, then why did you spread your legs in the first place? Did you not learn any lesson from your first mistake?

And of all the guys, you decided it was an ex-boyfriend you had to roll in the sack with—an ex-boyfriend you can't even confront with the news of your pregnancy for only God knows why.

Oh well, you have to dance to the music, and you mustn't abort the child. Life is precious—if you cannot understand that, then perhaps you are not even worthy to be called a mother.

I'm not judging you, but screwing around and depriving your children the chance to live a normal life with both their biological father and mother is not the very best of ideas.

I wonder why people would upset the balance in their lives just for 15-25 minutes of sexual pleasure.[/b]

Thanks.. you should read all my post. I never screwed around and you should have read the part of my being careful. I conceived before we broke up. Thanks all the same.

Bobmaintain:
Why couldn't he see a future with you? Because you are a single mum?
Could it be that he was just using you to satisfy his sexual urge for the mean time!
Mehn! You could have seen it coming!

I honestly didn't see it coming.. we were friends for almost two years, he asked me out for over 8months, I kept him in a friend zone because I wasn't mentally ready for a relationship.. we dated now for roughly a year.. the truth is I don't know how to be tough in a relationship.. that's why I often take my time before getting into one.. he said things like am too good for him and he wants the best for me, I need to get married in at most a year or two and he won't be ready in another five or more and he doesn't want to tie me down cos he is not certain of the future. So I can't really say if he was using Me or not cos I don't in any way look like anyone's mother.

Bobmaintain:
@troubledheart... The earlier you tell your baby daddy about your preggy, the better for you! You can't make a sole decision of keeping or aborting that baby - not alone. No matter how his reaction would be, i advise that you pick up the phone right now and break the news to him! Do it now! Don't wait till the next minute! I know what I'm saying!

You won't understand..