₦airaland Forum

Abekeade08:
@trumantra ahhh I see.

Plat where are you ooh, do I submit myself to na2day or tru mantra.?

Oya Plat, lend me your voice! Remember I'm flying you et al over for the west coast Naija reunion o!

@Abekeade, I havent given up my wayward ways at all. What fun would that be? Just know that you would have the puurfect gentleman when folks are looking and a "freak" behind closed doors. Aint that a winning combination?

Abekeade mii  

I just explained that the plan was to make even your week days "feel" like the weekend now.
With all those attributes that you've got and your wit, cheating will be the last thing on my mind o!
Don't wanna take you on a ride .  .  .  just to keep you "completely" occupied  

Waddaya say?

na2day?:
u see abekeade, the guy is only a weekend bobo while i am there for u even after death

All my enemies . . . jump up, summersault, touch electric pole!

@Abekeade, dont worry, I'ma make everyday seem like a weekend ok (wink). That's the whole Idea!

Abekeade08:
To me it's both too, anyway blackman, You are a correct guy for apologizing when u found u were wrong. Here is a kiss on the side of the cheek for you.  

Abekeade, oya, I apologize as well o! I know say I never commit any offence but you can be sure that I will. In fact, I apologize again .  .  . that ought to get me more than a-side-of-the-cheek kiss right?

Abekeade08:
What else do you want ehn? Na pretty face, na flat tummy, na figure 8, na bosoms abi na yansh Wetin ooh na2day cos I get all of them, but you go dey still dey chase all the women including mamagee on Nl. Apology not accepted, I want my man to be loyal to me alone.

Dont mind him jo. I can guaranty you my undivided attention and unwavering loyalty every single "weekend". Make your "stellar" attributes no dey waste on top the fellow o!

Gabry:
But Im not Nigerian ooo

@Gabry, know thou not that I have the constitutional power to confer the honour of Naija citizenship on "alarmingly" cute chicks?

platinumnk:
We gonna burn up NY hehehehehehe!

Why oh why do you have to be all the way on the East coast? Heck, maybe we can have the west coast folk have a special "mole" screening session for our own Naija reunion. Just so you know, I'm the official mole screener .  .  . the only one!

One Nigerian, two Nigerian, three Nigerian, four
With Abekeade, Plat and Gabry, why would a brother want more?

Dont mind that dude that cant tell the difference between a pimple and a well positioned mole. We love you just the way you are Plat.

bk/babe97:
Jesus, I just had severe heart palpations staring at Plats pic.

I cant blame you man. I "happened upon" that pic meself and I've taken to software development now. Almost done with an algorithm that will reduce the visibility of "that covering" until the covered is bare and then I'ma be rich.

And o! That mole .  .  .  what better place is there to have a mole?!?

Anyway, seeing that you already have palpitations, I can imagine how much several other adrenaline pumping, heart palpitating young (and old) men will pay for my work.

Plat, keep up the great work! I'll be sure to let you know what you need to do next.

Wallahi, if this bloke's strategy works, me sef dey go open my very own "I have feelings for this Nairaland Babe" thread o!
Platinumnk .  .  .  get ready! I have to admit that your profile pic helped make up my mind but have no worries, my game is infinitely tighter than this fellow's. 

Ok, here goes.

I was attending JAMB lessons at Prevarsity back in the day. There was this really cute chick and every guy in the class kept scheming and strategizing to get her. Believe me, we postulated all sorts of theorems and hypotheses without anyone having the liver to do the deed.

Meanwhile, the babe always sat in the front row and paid attention to the instructor. She didn’t even notice that the sight of her innocently raising her pen to her lips was causing several aspiring jambites to experience palpitations.

One day, after several hours of prodding by my “friends”, I decided to step up. I waited till break time and walked up behind her just as she was packing up her books. I raised my hand and tapped her shoulder.  She turned around with an inquiring look and when I saw her eyes up close, my carefully rehearsed lines fled instantly. The babe’s eyes were captivating behind her glasses and I was completely lost.

I struggled for words but none came and after what seemed like an eternity, I said “you have really lovely eyes”. At this point, I was producing adrenaline like I’d just run a 100 meter dash.

Would you believe that the girl didn’t understand the sentence? She said “my what?” I said “eyes”. The babe still didn’t understand. She asked “ears”? I said “no, your eyes”.

By now, my confidence had evaporated and I was getting dizzy from holding my breath for so long. I mumbled something and walked out of the class. Till today I wonder if I was shaking so much that my words were muffled or if the babe simply no dey hear English. 

akinjosh:
I find it disheartening that someone of Bishop Oyedepo's calibre would be involved in such , Dis (man of God) has been courting controversies for quite a while i am coming to question his spiritual calling. as for Yar'adua and turai may he never recorver enough to rule this nation. Dis rubbish must stop.

@akinjosh, do you have a challenge understanding written english? Bishop Oyedepo has denied meeting Y'ar Adua. Please ensure that you have "adequate" information before making accusations.
For the record, I do not know the bishop personally and have never even attended his church.

Ok, never enjoyed kissing a stranger so much! You are right, it's time to go catch 40 winks.

Hard . . . lingering full lip kiss . . . gentle, withdrawing, longing kiss . . . goodnight kiss!!!

Searching . . . upper lip kiss

Other cheek kiss . . .

Hmm . . . nibble on earlobe kiss

Slow . . . shoulder kiss

Wrist kiss!

Ooh, fingertip kiss

Pweety4me:
pe kini?dat wat?

What puts the tick to your tock?

Naughty gurl! Thrilling slap.

Pweety4me:
May u wat?

May I inquire?

Slap across the bum!

Gentle, teasing slap!

Sturd, now that I've seen your lips, I dont wanna know what the rest of you looks like.

Hey Pweety, may I?

Done it: Gone to Naija
Never done it: Been drunk or even tipsy
Would like to try it: Fly an airplane

Blinding slap!

Dombraiye!

Super-cali-fragelistic-expi-alidocious!

Ear lobe kiss, neck nape kiss!

Say, come here, NOW!

kemisuga:
Funny Indeed . But I am more prettier than those posted.

Kemi, I agree with you totally!

The last line of the article reads "I don't need no maga -- just work harder," raps Nigerian-American artist Banky W

Correct me if I am wrong but Banky W IS NOT Nigerian-American. He is Nigerian. Why is the article subtly trying to allude to the fact that this is a partially Nigerian artiste doing something positive?

What in the world is Nigerian-American anyway? An American of Nigerian origin I would assume.
Nigerian-American ko, American-Nigerian ni!

joxiri:
I have just seen it on the news and Nigeria has joined that list and i think its a bit harsh, as Nigeria had never had any history of terrorism activities up until now

It's sad that Nigeria has been included in this list, but I don't blame the Americans. Where is our President at this point? Has he spoken with the US President and tried to weigh in on him on the best way to handle this issue with regards to Nigeria? What is Nigeria doing to push back against being termed a "country of concern"?

And what do you call Boko Harram if not an extremist / terrorist organization? When individuals of other religions are slaughtered in the northern parts of Nigeria, we may view it as "just a religious uprising", but the world views it as terrorism.

I lay the blame squarely at the feet of the Nigerian authorities.