₦airaland Forum

OZAOEKPE:
"Najj.com is far more credible than the so-called sahara reporters, saraki remains my role model, no matter the scandals". Quote me anywhere

Now that we(like minds) are able to know your supposed role model...you need to be regularly checked for corrupt tendencies...i rest my case!

I saw that part on monday 7pm news...i could not help but smile on seeing it.

...Male,presently in abuja...i fancy intelligent and mature girls as friends...7b4b775c

Gunbiz:
The medpro is gotten when u apply for a job directly through jobberman

True...since i noticed d trend,i hardly apply for jobs that are undisclosed.

Well done OP...that medpro keeps disturbing my inbox with invites.

Kindly forward it to me;ujeigarra@gmail.com.thanks!

Ok

dorofresh:
Calling on Abuja members of this forum who tuned in to HEBELEMBE this morning to confirm this so the mods can do the needful. Thanks!!!

I can confirm that...it is true

I'm a sociable introvert...

Ok

...a new 'epidemic' in the north is called 'trekking for Buhari'

What do u expect?...lest we forget,she is wearing it to a comedy show.

Justice Sabiu Yahuza of the Federal High Court, Dutse on Tuesday, March 24, 2015 convicted and sentenced one Bello Dominic Oizamisi to one year imprisonment with hard labour on a one-count charge of obtaining by false pretence brought against him by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC.
Bello , a student of Federal Polytechnic Auchi, Edo State allegedly fraudulently displayed a car for sale on the internet, in which one Abdul-Azeez Abdul-Rahman eventually showed interest in buying. In the course of negotiation, the convict allegedly demanded from Abdul-Rahman, the sum of one hundred thousand naira (N100,000.00) to be used for registration, auction papers and clearance of the car.
The money was wired to him through his account in one of the new generation banks. After an endless wait for the car to be delivered, it dawned on the victim that he had been scammed. Hence, he petitioned the EFCC.
The count reads:
“That you Bello Dominic Oizamisi on or about 21st day of January, 2013 within the Jurisdiction of the Federal High Court, Dutse knowingly retained the sum of One Hundred Thousand Naira (100,000.00k) being proceeds of an illegal act on behalf of Oluyeba Peter Ozaveshe and Dominic Ozamisi being the sum obtained under false pretence from one Abdulazeez Abdurrahman for registration, auction and clearance papers of a nonexistent car, and you thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 17(a) of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (Establishment) Act 2004 and punishable under Section 17(b) of the same Act”.
When the charge was read to him, he pleaded guilty.
Upon his plea, counsel to EFCC, Musa Isah urged the court to convict the accused accordingly.
Justice Yahuza consequently convicted and sentenced him to one year imprisonment with option of one hundred thousand naira (N100, 000.00) as fine.
Source: EFCC Media and Publicity

Rev Mbaka was right...

A reminder that we all need to feel prized by those closest to us.
Few things are more comforting than having a partner you can take for granted. On the other hand, there are potential—though generally hidden—dangers in being “blessed” with such a person, including risks to the other person, the relationship, and ultimately yourself. So what are the pros and cons of such a secure (seemingly immune) relationship?
Let’s start with the upside:
To feel assured about another person’s commitment to you can be profoundly soothing and sustaining. You might not want to admit it, either to yourself or the one so dedicated to your well-being, but having such a reliable source of support provides you with a strength or fortitude that you might not otherwise possess. Knowing that there’s always one person you can confidently depend on, who’s consistently in your corner, and who will be there for you when times are most trying, undeniably reduces the pressures in your life. Such a secure relationship makes your life less tense and more pleasant and predictable—in a word, easier. In various ways your significant other “anchors” you and offers you a stability quite possibly beyond anything you’ve experienced before.
Assuming that, despite whatever shortcomings your partner may have, you recognize just how much the relationship benefits you—that you truly appreciate how “special” she or he is to you—you’ll take great care to actively nurture them quite as much as they do you. In various concrete ways, you’ll take pains to show how much you value what they contribute to your welfare. Emotionally, mentally, and materially, you’ll fully “invest” in the relationship, which in turn will enhance and further strengthen the intimate, secure bond between you. Realizing their centrality in your life, you’ll demonstrate daily your love, affection, appreciation, and respect.
However illogical it may seem, as often as not this
isn’t what happens. For although the many “gifts” you receive from your committed partner can inspire you to give the relationship that much more time and energy, your very conviction that you can comfortably take your partner for granted is perhaps just as likely (more likely?) to produce the opposite effect—and precisely because the relationship does
feel so impregnable. In your “privileged” sense of security, you don’t fear losing it—as possibly you did during courtship when the relationship hadn’t yet become as certain, assured, or invulnerable as it seems now.
Which might explain why, back then, you felt compelled to devote greater time and attention to the other person than you may presently. Courtship, in the (mutual) effort to put a lock on what feels so promising, typically prompts a cornucopia of caring behaviors. On the contrary, marriage, where in a sense the relationship has already been sealed, typically doesn’t seem to require anything like the same effort. Our former “wooing” energy pretty much depleted, our relationship can evolve (devolve?) from the highly-valued romantic to the not-nearly-so-cherished domestic. And consequently, you may feel more motivated to invest your efforts elsewhere.
So, let’s look more closely at the downside of taking your partner for granted:
Obviously, something rather cynical about human
nature is suggested by the fact that the phrase “taking for granted” is fraught with negative connotations. That’s why I purposely began this discussion by emphasizing the more favorable aspects of the expression. Unfortunately, the phenomenon is comparable to being the child of extremely wealthy parents. It’s challenging not to take for granted the fortune that, literally, you were born into. After all, how could you be expected to experience much appreciation, or gratitude, for all the advantages that circumstances have led you to accept as simply “due” you?
Taking your partner for granted involves a similar dynamic. What enables each person to thrive in a committed union is a certain reciprocity. But getting core relational/intimacy needs met almost automatically may well incline you to become oblivious of such an obligation. So you’re less likely to acknowledge the other, through both words and behavior, for how much they enrich your life. And it’s all too easy to assume that such recognition—or reciprocation—isn’t necessary when the other person isn’t explicitly asking you to thank them, or to “return their favors” by spending more time addressing their own wants and needs.
Sadly, it may be that at some level all of us would choose to get more from our partners than we give them—that we’d actually prefer to get the best "relationship bargain” available. And this could be tied to our unconsciously striving to heal ancient wounds if, as a child, we didn’t feel unconditionally loved by our parents.
Needless to say, this empathic neglect of the other person raises some serious ethical questions. For it can be extremely tempting to take advantage of our nurturing other if they haven’t sufficiently asserted
their need to feel more cared about, or at least to have their love and allegiance openly acknowledged. Still, consider that absent such recognition, the “deprived” partner is likely to get the message that we view our needs as more important, or more deserving, than theirs—even that, overall, we see them as inferior to us.
To be sure, if this is the case the self-esteem of the one taken advantage of is bound to take a hit. Regrettably, in many marriages the end result is that such a person experiences a loss of self-respect and positive self-regard generally. They may begin to view themselves as less worthy than they had prior to the relationship. And that would be the
human cost of their staying (deferentially) in what finally must be judged to be emotionally abusive to them. In a sense, their “bond” has become their “bind.”
Since we all need to feel appreciated for what we do for others, not receiving ample recognition can cause them distress and discouragement. They need to be assured that their words and deeds on the other’s behalf are truly meaningful—valued, and even treasured. And, of course (however secretly), they want to feel “prized” not simply for what they do but who they are.
They may not need to be “paid back” in kind, but they do need to feel that the other person is genuinely grateful for the vital role they play in their lives. And they can’t but hurt if they don’t feel listened to, taken seriously, or free to talk about whatever frustrations they themselves might harbor in the relationship. As they're considerate of their partner’s desires, they want to feel that we’re equally sensitive to theirs. In short, they need from us what, so committedly, they've given to us.
So whether or not our neglect of our partner’s needs is “benign,” its consequences are pretty much the same. Unreasonable expectations that they will do our bidding, no matter what and without any recompense, can hardly help but lead them to feel diminished. Routinely taken for granted, they’re bound to end up feeling used, exploited, cheated—even betrayed—since the tenor or tone of the relationship is hardly what they were led to expect during courtship. And their growing resentment and accompanying feelings of alienation can reach a point almost guaranteeing a break-up or divorce.
Such a sequence of negative events is frequently shared with—or finally recognized by—the “emotional perpetrator” too late for any repair or rectification to take place. For now it’s become a matter of self-respect, personal dignity, pride, or integrity for the person taken advantage of to finally relinquish a relationship in which they’ve felt so hurt and belittled. The original courtship promise of love, compassion, and support has by this time long been broken. And their disenchanted (if not bitter) conclusion—namely, that they’ve sacrificed themselves at the altar of their partner’s ego—may no longer be reversible.
If both of you are guilty of taking each other for granted, then obviously the two of you should take joint responsibility for not putting as much effort into nurturing each other as a good relationship demands, and begin—mutually—to make changes that each of you specifies would make you feel more cared about, appreciated, and respected. If the two of you have been focusing predominantly on personal needs, interests, and goals, it’s time to re-prioritize. Don't forget that marriage was never meant to keep you in a state of “I”—but to move you into a state of “We.”
And as has been said innumerable times, a strong, healthy relationship can be hard work. No matter how well matched you and your partner may be, you both need to put forth substantial effort to keep it vibrant and alive. If you don’t, it will weaken and, over time, possibly die—or become so de-valued to the one taken for granted that they’ll ultimately leave, realizing that the relationship has left them starved for the caring and acknowledgment that they—like all of us— crave from our significant others.
To end with some suggestive quotations:
“Staying with someone who doesn’t appreciate you is like standing in quick sand, slowly sinking in sadness.” — Unknown
“I was the one who was building you up while you were knocking me down.” — Unknown
“Blessings brighten as they take their flight.” — Edward Young, 18th century English poet
(NOTE: Although I’ve chosen to focus here on couples, taking others for granted, with all its negative implications, can also apply to other relationships—such as employers coldheartedly exploiting their employees, an individual’s taking advantage of friends, acquaintances, and relatives, and so on.)
Source: Published by Leon F Seltzer Ph.D.;Evolution of theSelf (2013)

We tend to value "genuine" people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being "fake"—but why is that? After all, what motivates "fakeness" is an effort to appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing regardless of what we think?
Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three basic reasons:
1. We are much more likely to trust a genuine person than a fake one because we believe those who are true to themselves are also likely to be truer and more honest with us.
2. We often associate genuineness with appealing traits, such as strength of character and emotional resilience—and correctly so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity, and often even bravery.
3. We are attracted to uniqueness and individuality, qualities genuine people usually have in spades.
Many journeys of self-improvement and self-discovery involve efforts to live a more authentic life. Adopting the following seven habits can help you become a more genuine person—however, balance is important. Overdoing any of these might do more harm than good so be sure to set moderate, not extreme, goals when it comes to working on them.
1. Genuine people speak their mind. This is actually a two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out opinions with others. The manner in which they share their opinions also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right. One thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and perspectives is...
2. Genuine people respond to internal expectations, not external ones. Genuine people spend time thinking about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction and purpose in life. Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were raised. Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave because you're then likely to do the following...
3. Genuine people forge their own paths. Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes others take to achieve their goals. Therefore, genuine people search for and discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven path is that not all your efforts will be successful. However...
4. Genuine people are not threatened by failure. The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly "proven" and "safer," and therefore more likely to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) travelled is risky and can lead to failure. Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow. Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening...
5. Genuine people can admit their faults. To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good. As such, genuine people are likely to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result. Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that...
6. Genuine people are not judgmental of others. Being honest about their own faults and embracing individuality and differences leads genuine people to be less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them. Their fundamental assumptions about human complexity and their reluctance to view people via the lens of bias or preconceived expectations allows them a purer perspective that usually leads to direct and honest interactions and relationships. And all of the habits listed above stem from one core psychological characteristic of genuine people...
7. Genuine people have solid self-esteem. Having solid self-esteem means having stable self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low. (Narcissists, for example, have high but brittle self-esteem.) As a result, genuine people can tolerate and absorb failure and criticism, admit their faults, and be accepting of others because they are not threatened by imperfection. Indeed, having solid self-esteem means, by definition, that you can absorb both negative and positive feedback and acknowledge aspects of your character that might need work or improvement without diminishing your overall sense of self-worth.
Source:Guy Winch Ph.D

Life is too short to use fork to eat that kind of food.

What of Soda?....that used to be my cousin's favourite.

True definition of Mr nice fool...

Help
Ashawo
Remove
Pant

trisha01:
m jus hia to make front page

A newly found hobby i reckon...lol

In my place we call it 'AKOTO'....playing it was fun particularly if you are responsible for peeling your peer's hand to the point of bleeding.

ujeigarra@gmail.com

Where are d 'jonathanians' on NL...let's hear your views on d cluelessness of your master's pet...smh.God help us.

I got d same msg...post NYSC

I reside in Karu...job hunting in Abj is depressing.if there is vacancy kindly notify me.God bless!!

What of 'Blimey'....

olrotimi:
Some persons have thrown caution to the wind, lying against the Holy Spirit with impunity. Well, I wouldn't be surprised this came from a Catholic-So-Called-man-of-god, Holy Mary is more reverenced by them.

Be careful with what u utter...u might as well b calling judgment upon yourself

I think i had prefer GEJ to stay silent.whenever he open up his mouth on pressing issues he never cease to amaze me.