₦airaland Forum

@switosman I will be glad to chat with you. My e mail address is onyianana@yahoo.com. It is well.

@donchris999 The expletive laden tirade going on here is becoming very ugly. I know people have learnt from my experience but this tirade? I didn't bargain for it. Thanks for your solidarity. Leave Pataki alone. He is on his own and he knows it. Go grab a bottle of beer and calm your nerves. By the way, things are beginning to take a better shape in my home now. Thanks everyone, including Pataki!

Pataki: Pray tell, what was insulting in my quoted comment above

I will openly apologize if you deem whatever statement therein as insulting.

May be you are just naturaly rude. How did you deem it appropriate to refer to me as a spoilt brat?

Pataki: Oh oh! When last did you appreciate your wife for the even the little she does at home? You come here telling us she is dirty bla bla bla.

What I think of myself on this forum does not matter here. You brought your issue here possibly expecting that everyone will show empathy to your plight and join you in the cause of shouting your wife and mother of your kids down.

One thing I would teach my children is that: so far they have NEVER seen me making love (having sex) to their mother infront of them, I would also ensure that they would NEVER see me hate, fight, denigrate or insult their mother infront of them.

If the bedroom is where we make love (have sex), it should also be the place we settle our quarrels. Not going around like a spoilt brat sulking and spewing that forgiveness is a privilege for my spouse.

May God help us all - Amin!

Mr. Man, learn how to correct people without insulting them. You obviosly know it all.

Pataki: You must be living a sorrowful life if your posts depends on how many likes you get. If I had to cross check your profile, I won't be surprised if you are one of those jobless 'first to comment' crew. Long been on this forum to know what to say and how to bring my comment across. If you find it not real, move on! Pataki will spit out his mind not minding whose ox is gored!

Now coming back to your gobbledygook, every man is certainly proud. However, if your so-called pride exist just to be used to spite your wife, as an example the OP claiming that his wife barely has an O'level certificate while he is a graduate. That is utmost foolishness and pride in a relationship! No real man should ever come online and denigrate his own wife, mother of his own kids! Nor even draw comparisons between himself and his wife.

Everything the OP said was simply all about how good he is and what kind of devil and low life he married as a wife. A nagging man - what a disgrace to real men. Pffffff!

It seems you lot do not know how to respect your women.

Furthermore, kindly work on your written English. It is appalling. In the earlier days of NL, you would have been banned for this eyesore English you have subjected one to.

You obviously are talented at insulting people, you wouln't let any oportunity pass you by. What is your problem with someone's English? Men are not known for this kind of attitude. Apparently, you only know how to respect women must you pick a fight with everyone that disagrees with you? You must be deluded to think you can just come here and force this nonsense of yours down people's throat. It's enough please. Keep your opinion to your self.

donchris999: Vicoson, ignore that guy called pataki. He is a criminal. Even if a man comes here and complain that his wife slapped him, he will blame the man for not turning the second cheek for more slaps. If a man complains that he caught his wife with another man on bed, he will blame the man for not treating his wife well. He is always claiming to be an angel and mr. Perfect. As for your marriage, this is just trying times bro. You have to try see that you and your wife go for counselling. It helps alot, i mean proffesional counselling. That is marriage for you, i bet you one day you and your wife will laugh over this trying times and share the experiences with joy. I hope you do family prayers morning and night. It helps alot. Wish you the best bro!

Thanks a lot bro.

Pataki: What has necessitated this cyber-attack and puerile drivel that you have directed at me? Are you an insecured brain dead goat - suffering equally from some form of jealousy?

Where have I stated that I did not read the first post before commenting? I said: "I did not read the whole length of comments posted here". How does that equal to not reading what the poster posted as the first comment? You are extremely stewpeed as a person, and plagued by idiocy from the foolish clan you were ejected from.

You had nothing upstairs to counter my points other than invectives. Is this how you talk to your father at home? Or does your father/mother use insult to greet you everytime? [s]Werey omo, oloribuku anumanu, oya wake up and fold your mat![/s] Traumatized child! Seek therapy before you drive another Nigerian lady mad with the foolishness of marriage you silly boys spew at ladies.

Furtheremore, do you also blame the woes and travails of your father and yourself on your mother? What an agony the poor lady must have gone through in her life. Raising a demented boy like you. You have no public forum decorum. If you were well trained by your father, you would dare not ask for my age. Even your father will slap your foolish mouth right now if he had the opportunity to read the claptrap you just spewed at me. Asinwin omo.

FYI, I have no interest in NL ladies. Whether married or singles. Apparently, my comments annoy braindead nitwits like you, well I love that!!!

What a dingbat!

You called your fellow man a goat, among other insults? How graceful! A man that forgives 70*70 times a day, lol! I knew you weren't real. Sorry!

Pataki: Thick head? Are you equally having a form of mental delusion?

When was the last time you appreciated your wife in the house? When was the last time you even surprised her in the kitchen? You think leadership in the home is by demanding and sulking inside your own house? Leadership in the home is by example. I am not perfect, but I prefer to go by biblical instructions when it comes to husband and wife matter. Learn to forgive someone 70x7 times in a day. You have an unforgiving spirit and you want your wife to quickly apologize just to satisfy your foolish ego.

Stop demanding that she should be the first to apologize to you at every instance of offence in your house. Even God resists the proud. Your proud disposition is nauseating to say the least of words.

you are beginning to sound like smart alec. If you do not have comprehension problem, you would be able to see that I lay more emphasis on APPRECIATION. How will it come if one didn't do anything of note? You think you are the smartest person on this forum? I wonder the kind of values you'll inculcate in your children. As per apologising, even the pastor that wedded us told us that what has kept their own marriage is the ability to say sorry. It must not be demanded, it must not be earned. Refusing to apologize means the act was intentional, and why would you intentionally hurt your partner and expect him to work hard to earn ur apology? Am I missing something?

Pataki: Thick head? Are you equally having a form of mental delusion?

When was the last time you appreciated your wife in the house? When was the last time you even surprised her in the kitchen? You think leadership in the home is by demanding and sulking inside your own house? Leadership in the home is by example. I am not perfect, but I prefer to go by biblical instructions when it comes to husband and wife matter. Learn to forgive someone 70x7 times in a day. You have an unforgiving spirit and you want your wife to quickly apologize just to satisfy your foolish ego.

Stop demanding that she should be the first to apologize to you at every instance of offence in your house. Even God resists the proud. Your proud disposition is nauseating to say the least of words.

you are beginning to sound like smart alec. If you do not have comprehension problem, you would be able to see that I lay more emphasis on APPRECIATION. How will it come if one didn't do anything of note? You think you are the smartest person on this forum? I wonder the kind of values you'll inculcate in your children.

Pataki: You are a proud person. Whether you choose to divorce your wife and keep someone else later in the future, this same proud attitude of yours will spring up.

I am not even going to bother to explain anything to you. Forgiveness is a privilege - in this case, for your wife? I strongly pity your wife.

Nigerian men sometimes - pffffffff!

Man, when you offend someone,courtesy demands that you apologise, when someone apologises, courtesy demands you forgive. That's how it works. For a relationship to remain healthy, the people involved must learn how to say SORRY and THANK YOU. Anything short of that is an ABUSE! Get this into your thick head. You are on a public forum, teach people good manners!

Siena: Wow. Where do I start? I'm not sure what you want to hear.

Unlike some, you had the advantage of living with your wife for 6 months, before you eventually tied the knot. 6 months of hell, disrespect, cheating, nagging etc. You knew all this, yet still went ahead and married her. Why? This beats my imagination.

You say you're a Mechanical Engineer, and your wife "doesn't have a good O Level". So she's less educated than you are, so what? It's not like she deceived you she was a graduate. I think you're trying your hardest to put your wife down, very poor. This is the mother of your kids, remember?

Well, you're stuck. There must have been a lot you loved about your wife, while you were dating. Those qualities and quirks are still there, so what's changed?

Make it work. That's all I can advice you. Obviously, you're a grown man, and free to make your own decisions.

Good luck.

we've never loved each other simultaneously. When mine is hot,hers will be cold and just when I'm tired of receiving the cold shoulder,she will be on fire and when I respond, she takes me for granted again. We ended up married and this cycle has refused to end. I've mentioned this to her, and she said our love can't be cold at the same time, but why not hot at the same time? Kids are involved now, so I'll just hang in there for a while and hope things will change in the future. I appreciate your concern and I thank everyone on this forum. You guys have been very helpful.

Pataki: Let us get one thing straight and clear from your advice proffered in your comment. Sincere apology does not come because you demanded for it.

A sincere heartfelt apology only arises when you show in LOVE and good deeds towards that person. Sitting or standing at one corner and expecting your wife to come and apologise is utter claptrap.

It is well as you do the right thing to save your marriage.

Man, are you serrious? Which concept is this? So the offender is now justified simply because the offended is upset? Well, I've read somewhere that forgiving someone is not the person's right but just a priviledge, so I don't know how to reconcile this. Do you care to explain?

Pataki: Sorry to barge in on your thread, I have not read the whole length of comments posted here, but I feel I can identify with you very well on this comment of yours. It may sound crude and insulting, but this is from man-to-man now.

1. You are full of pride. You think your woman should be far below you. As an example to that, you made reference to your academic accomplishment and her not having anything.

2. You are full of hurt and you have an unforgiving spirit and attitude towards to your wife. The hurt from the past, you hold on to them like as if, they make your life happy. Why not let go of all these useless past hurt and be happy with your wife? Do you want to go to your grave carrying the unnecessary burden of hate and an unforgiving spirit towards to your wife and the mother of your kid(s)?

3. Doing chores in the house, is not a crime! In fact, you both own the house and you are both responsible for it! Mind me asking, what kind of chores do you do sir? Have you ever washed the toilet and bathroom you both have your bath in?

If you want a meaningful relationship, humble yourself, forgive your wife, and communicate love effectively with her. Pride and unforgiveness are the biggest problem in your marital life. Let go of the past and enjoy a promising and loving relationship with your wife.

You are correct about many things you said here except pride. I thank you all for your contributions. Let me alsouse this opportunity to advise us. If you offend someone, don't be petty, Just acknowledge it and apologise. Be contented and appreciative of what you get. Once again, thank you all.

Ujujoan: I already did . . . go face your marriage!
Stop wasting your time seeking advice from faceless e characters, it won't do you any good!
You alone can fix this problem you've brought upon yourself.
Quit nagging.

Thank you for your time.

baby_123: No one can tell you what to do. Every marital relationship is different. People can only suggest. You know your wife, we don't. So you are going to have to figure it out mostly. Good you have forgiven her and have stepped down from the divorce threats. . You can start by talking to someone she respects.

Thanks a lot.

Ujujoan: You talk too much oga . . . be a man and go put your house in order . .
Today this tomorrow that . . haba!
I'm actually feeling sorry for your wife.

What is this? I let out my feelings seeking for advice and you come out n give me vague advice. How do I put my house in order? I just described my wife and seek for ways of handling her, not complaining. I've read a lot of books but I'm just looking for people who have similar experiences to advise. I will continue to talk till I find solution to my problem. Dont judge me, just tell me what to do.

promire2004: Op, sorry to say this but you seem to be a nag. What happens to forgiveness and letting by-gones be by-gones. Yeah, I know it's not easy to get over hurts, but I strongly believe that with time, everything will subside. I dunno your wife in person, but I inferred that she is light-skinned and very pretty. She is conscious of her looks thereby allowing it get into her head. You can't dispute d fact that you're married. It's better to make your marriage work than been a divorcee'. I also noticed that you are making us believe you are without flaws (perfectionist). However, there are 2 sides to a coin. Are you a "practising" christian? If yes, then I'll enjoin you to look to God and continue to be good to your wife. Mehn, she should have a conscience. I believe with time, everything will turn around for your good. Whoops! What more can I say? #life and it's vicissitudes#.....

I think I had forgiven her otherwise I would't have married her. The hurt i feel right now is not as a result of what she did in the past, but because she took my forgiving her for granted ( see the title of my post). I really feel bad. As per me nagging, how do you get someone to understand how you feel if the person doesn't want to. You keep repeating the same thing over and over and you earn your self a nagging husband.
I don't like the fact that I have to strugle to be good to my wife when I should be doing it with joy. Even when you try, it's not appreciated because it's not "enough". Now I've become a total jerk and it hurts me real bad when people think I'm wicked. I have done terrible things of recent which I'm not proud of. She is passive agressive and I am overt agressive. I am the bad guy. Jeez, I'm going crazy.

Ama28: People are so busy throwiong stones and asking for separation without hearing from the two parties! Haba!
And moreover he is asking how he can continue to love his wife and you guys are saying the reverse.
Op, pls sit down and think of the good things about her that made you marry her against all odds. Look for ways of bringing such behaviour out in her. If she is complaining about upkeep money then sit her down and map out something depending on your income.

Those kids know you as their father and you say they look like you, don't go for paternity test, you will only traumatize yourself.

Goodluck

People that are busy screaming divorce here, most of them are going through more horrible things in their home and yet can't even say it in public only to come here and scream because they are faceless.
Most first five years of marriage are horrible, but with mutual understanding u can sail through

We've started talking and I think we'll get somewhere.

baby_123: What is your obsession with this pride issue? Because she is a fine girl and a hot catch? You want to put her in a box, kill her self esteem to redeem yourself in some way? Dude, get over it. She is who she is, and that is what attracted you to her that made you endure and overlook the fact that she did not finish school. You know this, and I see it. Now that you are married to her, you want to blackmail and destroy her because she is not being the mumu you want her to be. What is a young married man doing outside of the house late? Drop this pride thing you are going on about. Embrace your wife, educate her and enjoy your marriage. Also, drop all the issues you had with her pre marriage. It is probably her flaunting her marketability before marriage that made you think she was too proud. She was attracting big boys, but married small professional you abi? Just enjoy your prize abeg, and stop degrading your wife by calling her uneducated, this and that. That is the mother of your kids. Even if she is a pros*titute, people should not hear such outside. Afterall you are silly enough to marry and have two kids with a prosti*tute. Also, you risk your kids being taunted and their mothr being rubbished because you cannot control your mouth or your emotions. If you have not reconciled your issues with her pre-marriage, tell her. Am sure she will apologize. Half your problems would be over. Drop your insecurities, am sure she is not going anywhere, after all you bombarded her with 2 kids. She most likely not as sexy as before.

So being humble, appreciative, civil and respectful equals mumu? Do you know that love only brings people together but what keeps people together is character? If you have a husband, be mean to him even if he is mean to you lets see the product. If you do not have something good to contribute, go to bed.

baby_123: OP, I am assuming before marriage and through out marriage you were a saint. I mean for you to open this thread with many accusations, I would expect that you would have looked inward on your contributions to the breakdown of the marriage. If you know in your mind that you have been the perfect husband, then you would be leaving a marriage that shouldn't have been. If you know honestly you did things which you shouldn't have, and your actions have not been pure in this marriage, then work on it. With this pre-marriage drama, I can only imagine the attitude you put up in the marriage. According to you, you endured and waited while she played around and married you as the last and ever present option. So yes, she did you a favour. From what you wrote, she actually may have married you or settled for you out of pity. Now that she has kids, you don get mouth shey? You think it is your time to shine? The sheep has become the wolf with patience. Afterall who will want an after two? You may just be surprised. Think well sha.

you want to know my faults? They are as follows:
1 I've never cheated on her before n after marriage.
2 I help in chores without any appreciation.
3 I refuse her sex in the morning since she'll not be able to do anything afterwards
4 I take my daughter to school everyday since it is my daughter
5 I keep to myself since I don't have mouth to talk.
Am no saint. Sometimes I tongue lash her to burst her bubble with no success- girl believe so much on herself. Now I just ignore her. Whenever she decides to come down her high horse, I might look at her. Right now, the room is full so I'll just wait outside untill there is space for two.

olumidazz: Well at vescoson or what's your name, my advice for you is this, unless you can visibly see that she is of bad influence on the kids or, the kids visibly do not like her naturally, do not take any action, it would be worse for you to send their mother away if you claim to love the kids, am saying this from experience. Just fold your arms and look at her because of the kids, cos women have a way with the children if you don't want those kids to be nervous wrecks.

Thank you.

bettymafy: Op, u said your wife complained that u aint romantic? And did I actually hear u say there is nothing u can do about it because u were born that way? Why exactly is that? It is very clear u are d problem in ur marriage!

Now, listen to me, whether u like it or not, women "thrive" on romance! They want to know how much they are loved and appreciated! They want to know u notice dat hair dey just made. They want u to always complement them. To always tell dem how much they mean to u and how beautiful they have made ur life become. Take her out once in awhile. U don't need to break d bank to fulfil a woman's emotional needs!

This is your wife and the mother of your two beautiful children, what will it take from u to make sure she's well taken care of (emotionally)?

You said she buys u stuff, does that not teach u that she wants d favor to be reciprocated? But no, u turn around and throw it all back to her face and accuss her of being a bad wife. She actually does it so u can take a cue from her, but no, u are too blinded by that fact dat she's from Mbaise.

Lastly, quote me, if u divorce her and re-marry, u will still divorce again. And u will keep divorcing till u get to 80, cos the truth remains dat "almost" every woman is thesame when it comes to these emotional needs! Fail in that department, and your marriage is in shambles. This has got nothing to do with Mbaise, or the fact she isn't educated. Its got to do with YOU!

Go make your marriage work!

Who told you I'm not romantic? Where did you get that from? I said it's not working because of the hurts of the past. I told her I was hurt and she never apologised. Instead she said she did all she did to scare me away and since I went ahead to marry her, she felt I was comfortable with it. Can you imagine? Now we will see who is doing who a favour?

KenGali: Thank me by making sure that before the end of the week, your wife can look into your eyes and feel safe cozy and full of smiles. you are welcome already. Cheers!

This will never happen. After the church reconcilled us, I told her that i've totally forgiven her and for the first since we married, I have developed feelings for her,that I love her so much and we had good sex. I took over all the chores in the house. I don't think there's nothing a man would do for a woman that I did not do. What did I get in return? It was like -yes, that serves you right! Everything that happened was my fault, you see?

switosman: Poster the mistake has been made what you shld be looking for is the way forward. Ist I am in a situation a little similar to your.
Base on your personal believe about life generally, do you want a divorce? Do you want some respect in your family?
I advice you to look for these books
Making love last forever.
Uplifting your mates self esteem.
Boundaries in marriage.

You will need to assert yourself, protect yourself and your children from an abusive wife.
Establish limits of what you can take both for yourself and your children. She will abuse them also and it will continue the vicious circle making their adult life worst than her own.
You deserve to be happy, so in asserting yourself find and do things you know to make you happy.

Try give your children happy times and encourage they associate with friends.

You are actually in an abusive relationship and possibly your wife have a mental disorder call BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Google it and learn.

Connect me on switosman@hotmail.com

I know about those personality disorder but if that's the case, there is no remedy.

KenGali: Every woman did a man a favour by marrying him lol. Yours is not the first. It is the man that marries the woman, not the other way round.
It is the man that goes wooing the woman, convincing her that he is her best. Women will always say that to emphasize their feminine pride. In the case of your wife who got pregnant before marriage. Reverse psychology should tell you that she holds out on the possibility that you only married her cause of the baby, doing her a favour. That's why she will reverse it to make you accept that she did you a favour, not the other way round. . . my guy its called a woman's pride.

You have spent very little time around women. they often do things in reverse. Indirectly. Right from childhood, women are taught that they do not rule, so they device and perfect indirect control. you have to understand this to relate with them. That's why a woman that wants you badly will only be telling you how she does not want. Their was this guy recently on nairaland that spent a night doing his best not to touch a girl with whom he was discussing the evils of sex on first date. in the morning the girl dumped him.

The more i chat with you, the more i see you do not understand feminine poise. Nothing do your wife. She is not even cheating on you, else she won't be complaining so much. Try to learn more of how to handle her emotional side. Reassure her, she has insecurities about how you feel about her, a woman begins to assert herself when you treat her bad or she feels she has lost respect. Treat her right, she will be singing your name every where and people will be wondering how you manage to get into her mind. Shower your wife with love she will never remember she was a rebel. it takes very little to please a woman.

Thank you.

KenGali: I see how everybody is telling you that you are an angel. Like you said earlier, you brought her close to to use her then ended up marrying, means you were both playing each other.
And truth be told, she kept coming back to you - means she loved you, but you where lacking in some areas(I doubt its finance, cause she does not sound to be a candidate for a filthy rich man either). The other side is that you kept accommodating her excess - stop deceiving yourself, you loved the girl.

I do not think love is the problem, rather, you both lack in each others expectations, right from time of dating. You want a submissive wife which shes is not, she wants a romantic man which you are not. Minding that no one will perfectly match what you want, why will you guys not compromise? You guys have not learnt how to manage your expectations of each other.

Oh I know the answer already, the faultless you, you will compromise but she won't. So why don't you lead her to what you want? Oh my gosh, that will involve you being romantic, and least I forget, you just can't be, you are too stiff to tell your wife "I love you" often or spare a Friday to take her out, or buy her an outfit you choose yourself and ask her to put it on so you can see. (I myself, only recently learnt how much a woman craves to hear you say how much you love her)

Come on man, ride your horse, Its not just by whipping it. Sometimes give it sugar to lick. And its 21st century, are you really sure your want a slave for a wife? Someone who has no mind of her own, cannot say a word to you. Say yes to everything you say. Am wondering, are you not the daring kind. Do you not like having a woman that can stand when you are away. That close confidant you can whisper your plans to at night and she would see some dark side you did not think off. As long as your wife is not cheating on you, but making demands of you she has not disrespected you.

Am not putting blame on you, am saying that you are not leading. Something basic you need to understand is that people love you for something. When you stop doing those thing, their love becomes agitated. You have stopped doing all the things your wife love you for ( thats apart from footing the bills- which is important)- why?

Let me also add that your mind set is scaring, you took a lady to her parents for them to tell her how to relate with you! If you cannot marry this woman, am not sure you can marry another (marry: the act of caring, leading, loving, guiding, interesting, sexually exciting, intellectually exciting, admonishing, emotionally blackmailing, as well as protecting your wife).

If I marry fifty times and all fifty women said they did me a favour by marrying me, I'll divorce all of them. I give love to only those that deserve it.

HARDDON: from the bolded, you had it coming, all the signs where glaring
you had all the negative signals, yet you decided to take it a notch up.

blinded your mind with beauty and married her. against, ofcos, all resistances.

now you crawl in here to cry fowl?

you aint getting nada from me.

you choose : your life your cross...gladly bear

I will marry again and live happily and she will have to look for another victim who will fulfill her fantasies. Stop getting too excited.

here: Like to ask, if you really wanted it to work what would you do that you havent done?
Am asking bcz I havent heard her story and you are the one in this who gets to decide and for the fact that "NO MAN WILL EVER ASK HIS FELLOW MAN TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE" so what can you do to save this,go home and evaluate if your marriage can be saved based on what you still see.
For a moment I always say..."s/he was the best thing that ever happened to you".If it means u want to take a walk,pls do bt with caution and keep the friendship,parties still after being apart do come together and even if you dnt,keep the friendship.
Custody becomes bloody when parties are neck-to-neck (there is never a case where its to be decided just bcz we feel like it) that is why courts still gets to decide based on available facts so those here who feel they are right for whatever reasons I ask..."Do you guys know this family more than anyone else here?".
Our prayers are with you,yeah your mind is made up but take it slow man but be wise so this doesnt consume any of you its already bad enough the kids would have to face any outcome of this

like I said in my post, she is at the centre of the universe, everybody must worship her and she is very rude. For instance,she called me by 8pm one day and asked when I'll be home and I said by 10 pm. The next thing I heard was "will I remain like this till you come back?" meaning I should hurry back home and turn on Gen for her? I would love to cherish my wife but with attitude like this, I just find it difficult. I really hate pride.

lastpage: STEWPIDITY HAS NO BETTER DEFINITION THAN YOUR VERY SELF!
Quit blaming her, the handwriting was ALWAYS on the wall ..but maybe you were too pus*sy-whipped" to notice.

Gerrout of this place before l nack you koboko, silly weakling!

Lastpage!

Unfortunately, you are so correct but girl and her people still cry the victim

Sike: Sticking with the topic, How'd U marry your wife with no LOVE in the first place?

Love is an illusion. Sometimes u put someone in ur debt and would expect the person to understand. As it turns out, I miscalculated. My first daughter is so fond of me and we are so close. I derive so much joy in that. I may have failed as a husband but not as a father. Cut me some slack guys.

ojesoj: Fake story.......seeking attention and unnecessary comments

It's too ludicrous to be real? I am happy with the response here,at least you guys are very honest. Thank you.

byvan: Brother,please don't divorce hastily.Can you try seperation?like seek refuge with a responsible friend for a while,ofcourse pop back into your house every now and then to play with your children.Maybe this woman will think about her marriage and know she misses her husband.Please keep being faithful and the man that you are,don't let an ungrateful woman change your personality.Since she hasn't cheated yet,please try seperation,don't divorce hastily.At some point you have to make a decision,if this woman still doesn't change after a seperation,let her walk if she want to.


Have you ever tried a heartfelt dialogue,to know why she is mean to you??Communication saves a lot,know her plans for the marriage.Yes,you can't fake romance but you can learn.I wasn't naturally a very romantically expressive person but I try to learn,because am taking a cue from my husband.We are all learning,no one is born married.

we do talk but the end result is always another bigger problem. She turns the situation around and play the victim. When I refuse to talk to her for a while, she becomes extremely nice,sometimes she will buy me things I need but cannot get immediately because of other things I have to do. And just when I decide to open up and play with her, she turns back to tell me how bad and wicked I am and how I make her life so miserable, and that I married her just toruin her life. I just give her her things back. Now, I don't accept gifts from her again and we don't have any meaningful conversation again.