₦airaland Forum

kilimanjaro: You are now paying for your foolery act. Live with it bro!
Never marry a woman out of pity.

You couldn't have put it better. Her father is an elder in the church,Her in-laws are pastor and deacon,so they believe it's till death do us part. Luckily for me I don't share that sentiment.

byvan: If the reverse was the case,you ll see the men saying things like"Pray,pray and pray again",now that the OP is a man,everybody is yelling,divorce her!!divorce her!!.

Op,you got yourself into this,make it work or take a bow.Whatever you do,know that children are better off with their mothers.Don't send your children to your aging parents please,tidy yourself without burdening this old folks with a responsibility that they won't handle well.kids that live with old folks,do you know how they behave?

My wife is the one praying for God toheal her marriage. She goes about saying evil things about me and people advise her to take a walk. To her , I don't love and care for her. I try my best to provide for the family. She earns over thirty thousand naira a month and I've never demanded a dime from her yet she keeps whinning how I don't give her money to make her hair. Someone said am poor. Well, poor is relative. I live in a comfortable 2 bedroom flat In PH. Well furnished. Have I started too low? Am I really so poor? My salary can't take care of all the expenses in the house but I work hard to make ends meet to the best of my ability. I don't cheat,drink out, beat her. Her major complaint seem to be that am not as romantic as she wants and I can't fake it. What should I do?

tomzman: Op, you dissapointed me. How can you play that kind of game. To make matters worse, you, an Engineer getting married to someone like that. You noticed all that behaviour before marriage but you still went ahead to marry her haba! This is the 21st century, love is no longer blind. It's eyes are wide open. Anyways, the deed is already done. What I can advise you to do now is to sit her down and talk some sense into her. Warn her sternly to change her behaviour otherwise she would be sent packing. Coupled with that, avoid her food and withold s.ex from her. Nothing hurts a woman more than that. And lastly, take those kids for DNA test.

I did not marry her because I loved her but I felt she will appreciate the fact that I married her against all odds. I was wrong. I think it was a conscience thing and I'm happy I did the right thing. Now I have to send her packing because I'm not sure I can give her what she wants. She wants romance which I don't have.

50calibre: How the hell did you manage to get ensnared in the trap of an mbaise woman, an illiterate one for that matter? Haven you heard the saying " if you get caught between a snake and an mbaise woman, kill the mbaise woman first" mbaise women are like leeches, they contribute nothing positive to your life, apart from sucking you dry.

Gather your thoughts together, make plans, go to a marriage court and dissolve the marriage. Nigeria is dysfunctional, with money you would get custody of the kids. Take your kids and go drop them with your people, they are better off than with her.

Thank you

nicky4lif: Well the only advice i will give u is to threaten to send her back to her parents nd if she doesn't change,than u send out of ur house nd by the time she comes back,u will see how good she will be come nd don't even bother calling her while she is away.its very clear she never loved u.u were the only one who truly loved her while she was still single.she went home to check her suitors out so y didn't she marry those ones cos they didn't find her good enough to be then she came back to the one nd only man who will any shit. She does.she was just tied of moving from one place to the other,she needed a place to call her own that's y she married u in the first place.are u really sure the kids are ur?(Just asking)once a woman starts climbin that tree nd u don't care to bring her down,once she gets to the top,it will be very hard to bring her down cos u gave her the chance to go that far.tell ur wife,is either she respects ur orders or she goes nd get her own place,that what makes u the man.

I took her to their people in January and lodged complaints to her father. All her in-laws were around. They all leapt to her defence and faulted the way I presented the matter that I was too blunt. The complaints were:
1. She doesn't respect me
2. She is not submissive
3. She is lazy and the house is always messy
4. She is rebellious.
My father-in-law said he was so disappointed for me to come complaining so early and a lot of other things. I grew upset and told them to keep their daughter and left. She was there for a week and people prevaied on me to bring her back. The church stepped in and ordered her to come back to my house. I've not heard from her people since then and i've refused to go see them.

lrguru: OP, are u sure those kids are yours?

I love those kids n they look like me.

overdrive: Yes it is ur fault,u were used in d past and u were never in d equation of being her life partner guess she regrets marrying u but ur best bet would b to get ur in-laws involved to speak some sense into her or else u show her ur own true colors abi u no get hidden colors. U also didn't think highly of urself what did u expect from a girl that coulnt pass her o levels. Wish u d best.

She has done her OND but no result for two years now. I never knew there are people that are this ungrateful and unreasonable.

My wife says she did me a favour by marrying me, so I should be happy she married me.

We've been married for 3 years with 2 kids. Prior to our marriage we dated for about a year. She even moved in with me when she had accomodation problem for 6 months. During this period I saw hell. She showed me no respect, was playing her games very openly. Her phone rings 24/7, multiple love sms.

When I talk about settling down together, she would say her parents won't agree because my place is far-I'm from Akwa Ibom and she is from Mbaise. Obviously she did not want to marry me but she wouldn't just leave.

She travelled twice to check out some suitors while she was still leaving with me and I got to know from another source. She didn't deny it but said her sister's gave her the connection. One of those guys is an illiterate drug pusher.

Finally things got to a head. I dicovered condoms hidden in her handbag, I had to throw her out of my house. Somehow somehow, we hooked again but this time I only wanted to use her. Not quite long she took in. Although both of us had earlier agreed we won't marry each other, she later claimed she has started loving me but I did not love her anymore.
I went ahead and married her. I even did elaborate wedding. From day one till today, it has always been trouble.

Complaint, complaint,complaint. Nagging,nagging,nagging. She is at the centre of the universe, everybody must worship her, she must be in charge.

Trust me, with this pride I made sure she wields zero power in my house.

Before I forget, I am a Mechanical Engineer, she doesn't have a good O-level.

Yes, my emotions are on vacation, is it my fault?

Read 1 cor. 11:4-11

obadiah777: I AM NOT TRYING TO CONVERT YOU TO CHRISTIANITY. I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN. I AM TRYING TO BRING YOU TO THE TRUTH.

If you are trolling, you might consider jumping to the joke section. Right now you are in a wrong place.

obadiah777: MY WAYS ARE NOT YOUR WAYS <<THE LORD

Classic.sure, with this you can easily convert anybody to christianity? People like you are the reason why atheists are resentful of christians. And somehow, you think you won't be held responsible? What is wrong with accepting that yes, we've made mistakes in the past but we are ready make amends and move on, rather than cook nonsense and think you can suddenly force it down any sane person's throat? You can choose to continue to live in denial but I think it's laziness to believe without making findings. I don't see how this is a virtue.

obadiah777: PROBERBS 20 VS 24 Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?

PROVERBS 16 VS 1 The preparation of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD.

THE POINT HERE IS THOSE MEN WERE BEING DIRECTED BY GOD TO COMPILE

And who were this men? Why deciding through vote? Did anyone among them disagree? What was the basis for the disagreement? Can I also disagree if the holy spirit did not convince me on any of the creeds?why didn't the holy spirit expressly speak for Himself at the Council?

jcross19: if what you claim is true please can you show us the source of your finding because i have more than enough to prove toyou what allah is with enough a lots archeological diggings and fact .

very true. Don't claim ignorance and look foolish. People are willing to go to any length to cover up their mess in the name of protecting their holy book or God. When a fact is placed before you, just deal with it. The bible contains errors, some parts were later added especially the last chapter of Matthew, some parts were forged. If you have any explanations for the above, share or else hold your peace.

PAGAN 9JA:
hmm . . i knew you were man-worshippers after all. you would rathar pray to the israeli man, jesus, then to a spirit.

I know you have a problem of comprehension,so I won't ask you to re-read my posts. So to make myself very clear to you, I don't believe that when Jesus said "I am the way,truth and life..."He meant one must be a christian, rather he was pointing to way of salvation which is love, goodness,mercy,justice,compassion,etc. If you have any problem with any part of his teacings, do well to point it out. On weather he is God, or should be worshipped, we may never be able to arrive at any consensus. There is absolutely no way to prove he even existed or did not exist. Nevertheless I still admire his message.

inurmind: Why are u asking me? I believe they are all fables.
Anyway if I was a christian I would tell u to pray to ur holy spirit and ask him to give u the answer.
He does exist, right?

The holy spirit cannot be the author of the confussions we witness today, so it probably doesn't exist. However, we do have conscience and I don't believe anyone whose conscience is alive will find any part of Jesus' teachings ridiculous. He probably is no God or didn't even exist, but His message is far from being irrelevant.

inurmind: If there's anything I will agree with u on, its the confusion part. U guys really need to set ur records straight.
U don't exactly look like a group of wise men.

Christians worldwide believe that one must be a christian to be saved, and one gets to be a christian by believing that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of humans besause Adam sinned. It should be noted that Jesus never taught this. It was Apostle Paul who brought this idea. The Roman Catholic that brought the doctrin of original sin had since changed their position on hell fire, earthly incarnation of Adam and Eve, and the garden of Eden was never here on earth. So why did Jesus have to die? Who should we follow? Jesus or Paul of Rome?

PAGAN 9JA:
useless eternally confused xtians. .

Confused? No way. Confusing? Sure. Useless? Ridiculous. Don't be silly!

jcross19: if you say that bible i have been manipulated how is there any bible that says thou shall kill or thou shall commit adultery maybe some version of bible teaches us jesus never died or on what basis. oh i see because wannabe prophet, pedophilia , mohammad was mentioned in the bible ? ahahahah see brain washed wise men.

Read John 3:16 and tell me how you understand it.

tobtap: i pity the you the author, the bible says jesus is d only way to God..pls repent

Is it the same bible the OP said had been manipulated? It is true the bible made Jesus say "I am the truth, the way and life..." but what is the meaning of this statement? Remember also his desciples also asked him to show them the father. And what did Jesus answer? He said "you have seen me, so you have seen the father". Does it mean that Jesus is the father? So before you pity anybody, be like Jesus in love, justice, mercy, compassion,etc and you are on the highway to heaven. This is what Jesus meant by "I am the way". If believing in his deity and sacrifice alone is the only way, why did he bother teaching? If not, have you done everything he taught? Remove the log in your eyes first so as to the speck in your brother's. Peace.

aguiyi: i bet your parents will weep the day they will see some of your comments. you will think its a joke but what you are gradually degenerating into is better not imagined

I'm sure when they look down from heaven and see him suffering in hell, they'll be so happy. At least he got what he wanted.

pastormustwacc: That i cannot answer. But i suspect the pastor is being self-centered and wants the child, because he is caught up with the fear of not having a child till he dies.

You should understand that what really matters to us individually will come under challenge when it crosses with spirituality.

Let me put it in plane terms, if you have a wife and you cannot pregnant am, and most likely have done tests to show that the wife cannot conceive,
and you are a pastor and cannot divorce your wife without losing your ministry, and you cannot afford to have faith in god (most likely a pastorpreneur),
then you might be tempted to pregnant your choir girl - because they are the easiest target.

The pastor is thinking like a man pushed to the wall. Dont forget that he must have planned this crime for several years.

THE PASTOR DID NOT DO THIS FOR SEX. Because if all he wanted was really sex - he will have dodged everyone and sowed wild oats and not get caught. For him to select the choir mistress, he must have studied the girl well, and determine that she is not the sleeping-around type, then he looked for a way to get her to pity him (ladies can be played very easily, especially the innocent ones, so dont blame the girl too much for falling).

The pastor is not repentant because this is all he wanted right from the start.

This is just my opinion, putting all things into consideration.

Dolly Parton has no child of her own and she said may be God wants her to be the mother of other people's children. She is known for love for children. She writes poems and rhymes for children. Don't forget a mother of three who lost all three children in sosoliso crash. And what did she do? She picked herself up and became an anchor to strengthen people in a similar situation. I don't expect any pastor to be as superficial. It is really disgusting.

pastormustwacc: So who is deceiving who?

What I'm saying is this story is not true. I'm not saying stuff don't happen, but why would the pastor ask the girl to keep the pregnancy not minding the consequencies?

I'm not sure any pastor can openly admit having extra-marrital affair and still remain a pastor, let alone having a child outside marriage.

seyibrown: Hell Fire exists BECAUSE God is a God of justice! There is no justice on earth! Millions have been ra.ped, tortured, shot, robbed, cheated, killed; national resources continue to be mismanaged by rulers who watch their fellow citizens starve to death or turn to crime to survive by many unrepentant souls, and the Courts of this world deny victims true justice in many cases. Who gives those victims justice? No unrepentant sinner will get a 'welcome thou faithful servant' from a God of justice. You are judged on what you do while you are on this earth, not what you do after you are dead. The time to repent from evil is now while you are on earth. The If the righteous reign with God their father, surely the sinners too will reign with their father the devil wherever he ends up!

If God is a God of justice, how will sinners be rewarded for the little good they did?

I respect everyone's views in this forum. Butt I've also noticed bitterness in people's voice when one disagrees. But can we take a little step backward and view ourselves as children that are ignorant and our all knowing God fully acknowledging our ignorance? I feel it's pride for anyone to lay claims of the custodian of the absolute truth, be it GO or whatever. I must not believe just anything I'm taught in my church or does anyone disagree? I guess that is the reason for this forum. So I have my questions for all and I need sensible answers: 1) If a parent punnishes a child as a corrective measure,what purpose does eternal punnishment/torment serve? 2) Even if tithing were for christians, should a church collect missionary offering, pastor's welfare/appreciation offering, ofering for the needy as well? 3) Is tithe obligatory for christians and is any curse attached to it?

124mumsy: infact all women mke these mistake never want to change, creatures with fish brain

This has to do with low self esteem. Such women feel incomplete and need a man to make them complete. A complete woman who values herself would not be so manipulative. This is one attractive quality men look out for in women-honesty and being straight forward. But most women always think they are smart and end up rubbishing themselves.

what motivates you to love and obey God? Do you need a church before you can love and respect God's other creations? Sounds like your motivation is to escape hell just like every other christian. This mindset is wrong.

If every one can know God's will and do it, the world would be such a beautiful place. Man has failed woefully in this regard either due to ignorance, inability to try hard enough, indolence or total negligence. Greed and lust is the order of the day. Guess who takes the blame for man's irresponsibility- the devil!

Even if na broda 4 church visit me I go maintain till im go. E come be say na baba Jesus, me I go leave house 4 am na. Im go tell u evry tin wey u dey tink. Dat na hell now.