Something happened today that has really made me question myself as a man, and I sincerely need honest advice from mature minds here.
Earlier today, my younger one went to the field to play football. After some time, he came back home crying seriously with blood rushing from his head. According to him, he had an altercation with someone much bigger than him, and the person picked up a stick and hit him on the head.
Immediately, I became angry and asked him to take me to the field to identify the person that injured him. Deep down, I was expecting myself to react aggressively because I felt any normal man would naturally defend his younger one and confront the person strongly.
When we got there and I saw the guy, something happened to me. Instead of fighting or causing a serious scene, I just started asking questions about what happened. I couldn’t bring myself to react violently or aggressively the way many people probably would have. I eventually carried my younger one and went back home.
Since then, I have been feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself.
The painful part is that this is not the first time I have noticed this about myself. I always seem to avoid problems, confrontations, or situations that may escalate. Even when I am angry, I still start thinking about consequences, expenses, police issues, public embarrassment, injuries, and other complications that may arise if things get out of hand.
Because of this, I often withdraw instead of standing my ground fully.
Now I am beginning to feel like I am too timid and not confrontational enough as a man should be. Sometimes I feel weak, powerless, and unable to command respect the way other men do. I see some people react boldly in difficult situations while I keep overthinking consequences and avoiding escalation.
Honestly, it is affecting the way I see myself.
Please, I need sincere advice from experienced people here:
- How can someone stop being too timid or fearful? - How do you become more confident and confrontational when necessary? - How do you stand your ground as a man without always retreating? - Is this kind of behavior weakness, or is there another way to look at it? - What practical things can I start doing to become mentally stronger and more assertive?
I would genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from men who may have struggled with similar issues before overcoming them.
Are you masturbating... that's the only bad habit that can make you feel less of a man when done too much
Naya261: I am planning of travelling to the UK for my Msc programme. My main purpose of travelling is ........ my study. Please I need your advice.
.......if it's true, travel, see new life, everyone can make it even in desert, travel , see new life, no be Nigeria they born you as kid, you never make, try see new places, life short, see another thing and life be for there
We don't even know the different between politicians and content creditors, how can you say this, there has been many governors that don't deserve it and they reach the spot why all these wike, even tinubu don't value fubara compare to wike, wike still strong in politics all these na just to drag traffic while they make profit and we the broke ones go keep broke aurging on thier lifestyle while they keep getting rich
Vinnie2000: As a core Obidient, I still have give Wike credit despite detesting him based on his Antecedents.
He is a VIOLENCE Wotowoto Grandmaster Politician.
Fubara thinks he is Smart but Wike could CRUSH him in 2027 and send him to Oblivion.
No be lie fubara mumu, I never see who will be fighting his principal, wetin them show you no teach you lesson you think na to decamp to apc be the next move, wike way strongly give tinubu rivers you dey fight, Instead to embrace your oga wike you won do strong head no worry as you no won learn na make wike do you finish, alot one tenure dey way them don forget for politics, you think na be to dey famz tinubu , you go learn hard way
Wike will sponsor and Back an Opposition candidate (like Tonye PrinceWill) in the Rivers Election And with media Propaganda and Character assassination of Fubara, Rivers Pple could vote for that Candidate and Fubara loses out totally.
Wike becomes once again the GODFATHER in the state.
Plz Fubara Fans should enlighten us on how he can defeat Wike in 2027?
Wetin TENI dey talk like this, pepper soup money no reach business money or who you give business money no suppose to chop, so the person no go chop clear head. This one you talk no follow arbeg
Werey still Dey ask for analysis for this hardship….guys all these guys know what’s going on, but they know life is short time….all they want is mark thier names , but they knows theirs no way they can do now than to make those cost living severe ….. this will be the last time I’ll ever talk about Nigeria, everybody find One or two ways to earn in dollars, that way it will favor u in a bit if you sit on say tinubu will make life easy for you, Omo you dey play! Ardbeg ask your neighbor if you no get neighbor to relocate from where you dey, earn in dollars, I don tell you!!!!, if u get kids, carry your kids even if you 2yrs carry them, time no dey if u dey wait for fg govt
Which one be fec again, suffering upon suffering , federal government way no send the masses na them go determine the price of your petrol way a lot masses don rely on your product, na to hustle for one self to escape this suffering
All these things you talk never reach reason for you to divorce na, these are just minor issues you can talk and persuade your wife about if you no be simp, no marriage perfect, another place way u dey go, you know wetin dey there? You dey young to dey switch marriage at this early, out of everybody you fit go back to na your ex, your past, if your ex be the best for you why you no marry her, oga relax try, marriage get many advantages you go learn and she go learn from you, una go learn to change each other, if she do something way u no good approach as man, na you sabi, all the best for you !
Baba tinubu sits down for one side, he gets money way fit sustain his and his children, anybody way die na Sara, baba no send anybody, tinubu won make records' for him more pain more suffering, more pains, more hardship for his regime... (do you think tinubu don't know what to do make the economy easy for the masses ( very easy ) but if he do it, there won't be be anything to talk about when e left this world, do u think tinubu will not leave the sit and give it to who's next, hello no, I sorry those for who carry religion for head like wyclef, you fit heaven reach heaven now make baba God tell u one or one thing, (no be person write wetin u dey follow, them fit erase something put wetin go bash their legacy and honor,
Baba tinubu just they do things slow slow like somebody that's drinking akamu before you know eight years don complete, baba don turn like buhari. either Peter obi or atiku swear in, same set of these people, cause they are all the same. Another of obi and atiku likes are on the lines waiting. this presidential seat is just moving around these set of people. Just know Nigeria can not be better in these our generation unless we want to keep deceiving ourselves...
But do you guys think these government don't know how to ease the stress on the masses so as to gain their trust and support when they needed us the most. Nigeria masses are the easiest people to change their mind with little ease programs and we will start praising them again, I mean there's money to go about all these things they just don't want to do it cause they don't need us now, when it about election that tinubu need us for 2nd term he will wins the masses heart, he will definitely turn this around, it's just about games and politics..
I wonder who make it a rule that older people should be the one ruling a country, all these are too old, even their right mind can't think best like young people...the older you're the less your ability to think the best..look the set of people..kaii
Thank God them quick catch them, one thing about money, you won't be contented, once them chop the finish, the adrenaline go come again, they will start cracking head on their next kidnap before you know them be notorious kidnappers...
MajorOvakporaye: If you're a Tinubu supporter, just know that there is a curse on you and since you have decided to be stupid, hunger will not depart from your house. Idiots!!!
No dey think like that, nothing like curse or karma for naija, if there's a lot for don happen since all these years of looting....na just heaven judgment be the only case now
ijustdey: Fubara awards N19.6b contract for reconstruction of demolished Rivers assembly complex
The assembly complex was demolished six months ago after a section was bombed following an impeachment attempt on Governor Fubara by Wike-backed lawmakers.
Celestialsword: https://dailytrust.com/tinubus-silent-and-unreported-achievements/ One thing I don't understand about our politicals, do you expect us to thank you for doing the jobs you were supposed to do, you guys get huge salaries for your job, you guys have no right not to deliver, and you don't even deserve thank you for doing what you were supposed to do, the money is there for you guys to use, huge salaries are there for you guys to enjoy on, I should why they still fail to deliver, we will be here celebrating ten percent of well job done and still praise you guys about it
Unclesmart12: I met this girl few weeks ago online and we kinda vibed instantly, a couple of weeks later she came over to my house for weekend and we had sex the first night. I asked her about her relationship status later and she said she was in a relationship, though she doesn't love the guy.
She showed me proof of countless times she's told the guy the truth but he would always persuade her to stay with him with hope that she would warm up to him. So she stayed since he was paying the bills.
I can't tell her to leave the guy because I am not ready to pay any bills for anybody now. Just like most Nigerian girls she gets lots of calls, but one made me upset this night.
She was on call with a guy for almost an hour, from the tone of the conversation the guy might just be a friend, because the gist was centered around school and other random stuff. I felt she disrespected me by staying so long on a call and I made my feelings known when she was done. She got moody and stopped talking to me afterwards.
She finished cooking and dished mine in a separate plate even though we have been eating together since she came. She placed the food on the bed without notifying me and went on to eat hers alone. I tried to adjust and kicked the plate away breaking it in the process.
I packed the food and threw it into the trash can, she immediately went to the kitchen and dropped hers too. Took her bath and went to bed, though I know she's not sleeping.
She's supposed to go tomorrow morning and I intend deleting her contact after she leaves, however I really like her. I've not met someone I liked in a while. I don't wanna beg her since I didn't do anything wrong. Or was my reaction to the call extreme??
Should just free her or attempt talking to her? How do I approach it without coming off as weak?
You should talk to her like normal mature conversation like you don’t like how she behave this and that and you guys settle it ..all these na relationship mumu fight
Degunners: I just need someone to scold me badly, maybe it will help me get sense.
Seriously I can't just believe at my age I still do the things I do.
Right now I am in deep hole of debts from these loan apps. Can you imagine someone taking loans from more than 10 apps? Yes that someone is me.
Presently if I should add up all the loans it will be close or more than 500k. The annoying thing is this is like 3yrs now I have been struggling with these apps.
I once was able to clear all the loans but like a dog going back to it's vomit, I still went back to them (I seriously need delivarence).
Why I'm so ashamed of myself is because I didn't take these loans mostly because I don't have a good source of income but because I don't know how to save and I am very extravagantly wasteful. I loving feeling rich, I can buy beer and flex anyone those I know and those I don't.
Thought getting married will help but for where like I got worst after that.
I seriously don't know how to come out of this mess I dragged myself into. Because these loan apps will only give you 7days loan with very high interest. I have been servicing these loans throughout last year and I don't want to continue this year.
I have already spent more than 200k this month alone on interest alone because I have to borrow again to be able to pay others.
I'm owing the following apps: 1. Fastmoney 70k 2. Imoney 50k 3. Gocash 38k 4. 40k 5. Palm credit 70k and counting this is long over due. 6. Kuda 50k 7. Next credit 21k 8. Mint loan 35k 9. 9jacash 12k 10. Add money 9k 11. Ncash 9k 12. Ducredit 70k 13. Ajeloan 15k 14. Easy Naira 12k. 15. Cashsea 26k
I'm even scared to add the total but this my current reality. Virtually all are 7days loan.
I don't know how a sane human being can get to this stage, I don't want to attribute anything to anyone or some village people. This is my owing making, and I have been living with this burden for long. I was hoping to get a job that will pay me like 500k at once but none for now.
I dont even know what next to do. I have alot of other responsibilities to cater for.
I don't even have friends or relatives I can run to. I am writing this because I deserve all the insults in the whole world. I deserve to the stoned. Though I will never take my life because of this, God forbid but I can't grow with these on my neck and it's really weighing me down.
I can't remember when last I genuinely smiled or laughed.
I'm determined to find a way to over come this problem. That's why I'm here.
I know you guys will come for my head but I'm already in this shot so I will accept any insult. But please if someone can say something to help me a little I will appreciate.
I'm not breathing fine but I'm currently harvesting what I planted.
Wish I can get a counselor or therapist who can help me because I'm scared that even if I suffer and clear these I might not learn my lesson because it has happened before.
What can I do please?
I have screenshot them, I’m gonna try them out if they can borrow me too, but wait, is it a must you must pay them
AlphaMale666: I'm 30 years old now and frankly speaking, I know I'm never gonna get married!
Even my father sent me a Whatsapp message some weeks ago with a bold text saying "never get married my boy!" " you're my son, and I'll never lie to you". He's living a miserable life with the stupid witch he put in his house. But nobody forced him to get married! So he's getting the taste of his own medicine! You don’t know anything about life before it’s late for you
Even if he didn't tell me any of this, I already knew my destiny. I knew I was born to die single and nobody will take this wonderful single life away from me!
I trust you are keeping safe. A lady told me today that she will snatch me from my wife if care is not taken, please what does this mean? Is she just joking or she means it. I don't want to take this issue with a hand of levity. I need your contributions... Thank you in Advance.
Mr. Free
How you go come nairaland come ask this kind things !!! Best Regards.
Guest2008: How Can I Help My Brother Out Of This Mess
Good afternoon nairalanders. As I'm typing this, my mum is not herself and she's been crying since morning because she caught my younger one smoking in his room..
He locked himself in the room for a very long time and my mum decided to go check on him. After a while, he sprayed his room and opened the door. Smoking no be bad thing, na if he dey use do another things
The room was filled with this hard drug smell, she called me and we decided to check the room even though he denied ever smoking.. We saw a light brown paper that he probably tears from, a nylon containing something like sand and a lighter behind the toilet seat. Despite all this, he still denied it claiming the smell is probably from the next compound. My brother just clocked 16 and he's in SS2..
How can I advise and help him stop because I believe he was actually smoking even though he denied it?
dollynnn: And he has spoilt everything with this statement. This goes to show how morally bankrupt he is. Just a little fame and little cash here and there, some people will start misbehaving. While a sensible artiste who knows his onions and where he is coming from will focus on expanding his career and making more money,this one is here thinking of how to snatch and sleep with married women. Such is life P.S I wonder if he can even snatch any sensible married woman sef.
Another month Passed then Baba asked me to come make him cut meat for my body take appease . Appease wetin? The one wey you do for my leg still dey there you still wan cut meat. I argued this with Baba back and forth and he told me there was a way out and that involved having to cut a relative’s feet or anyone that i had a connection to. Only that as soon as we used the persons feet, they’d dry up and die. And that i had just 3 days to find a solution. That one loud o. At the end of three days i went to his coven in a bid to plead for more time.. but i met Baba, he was sleeping in his hut. I was going to leave when I remembered what he said. Anyone i had a connection with. I took the axe he used to severe my feet on two occasions, lifted it off and in one full swing. I had severed Baba’s feet. He woke up with a start howling around in pain.
Reading your story yesterday night I can’t sleep, I fall sick this morning , cause the story too hard somehow…still sick like this, it change my perspective, my thinking , my head, open my eyes to so many things, omo the contents self I never experienced ham before, scaring , some part related to my life story … omo
dodoatirice: I know niggas that, them collect soap from Baba, small soap wey just carry small spiritual spirit wey dem go just use once so dem go fit gather money come do better otumopor. For example, you dey hustle, and you know as your hussle dey be normally o. Before you go meet your Alfa, you know wetin you client dey tokk. You come go meet that Alfa wey you noor sabi him mind, you tell am your problem. Him tell you solution you say you nor get money, he come look say make hin help you give you “something wey you go take go collect small change come do better juju”. Now the quoted is atleast what he’d tell you. Alfa carry soap give you say make you bath am once for certain time of the night, at one specific place say you go collect money atleast something wey go help you go fit take come do big juju wey you go take collect big bag. You collect cut soap, go house, do as him say. Story no end for there. Wetin your Alfa do, that soap the alfa give you, na spiritual soap, he go beg him spirits say make dem open way for you ontop the soap if you bath am. The spirit go ask af for something in return, your Alfa go come promise the spirit say you go come back come pay say him go stand for you. The spirits go come gree.
You don collect soap, you don bath, one, two , three days, nothing sup.. you don dey forget say you bath soap sef. One rainy night like dat, gen go dey hum, na your neighbor room you dey, all him family don sleep na only you dey up dey follow your maye dey chat. Na Garri your papa drink that night no forget. Your maye go just loosgaurd small he don quick collect cashapp tag, he don cashapp one thousand dollars twice. Nigha you now have two thousand dollars.
$1 equals to 500naira so On your calculator
2000 times 500 equals one million Naira Dude. At the moment wey your azzaman credit you after he commot him % your Alfa go flash your mind.. but greediness no go gree you. Next morning you don enter whatsapp post
“early momo Awon tie n pe e won sope owo ti jade o”
You din enter computer village, IPhone 12 pro Max gbam. Miney don remain hundred . Nigga your alfa fit don even call you mske you scope am say the soap never fo you anything. But him don see am say something don sup because the Spirits granted his wish for standing for you and they’d notify him it was his turn to grant their own wish. All these things, your papa nor know. You don buy iPhone almost 600k naira, you even buy iWatch, 200k money remain hundred k you buy shirt wey be say dem go think say na your daddy own and crazy jeans. You enter street they claim Og dey go. Your papa go come dey that same spot for years. Your iPhone 12 e don dey outdated. Tech done Move leave you. You finally sell the iphone then either be a junkie or a menace to the society at large. You know why? Ehn? Why be say. As the Alfa no see you come back, nobody granted the requests of the spirits for your small victory (cashout) that yeah then he sold you out. Shey Equation no balance?
Omo na me this post they refer to, just exactly my story make millions without paying a dime and later shenk the ip man so I sold everything I got…street mad
Family › Re: How Do Men Become Bold, Fearless And Confrontational? by Wasiu1496: 8:37am On May 12
