₦airaland Forum

What is the problem bro!

You just mentioned your TROUBLEs without the PROBLEMs, where do we come in now without giving us options for advice?.

What is the problem that makes you have sleepless night and wonder day in your bountiful marriage?

I have often ask some men of the qualities needed in their kind of women, I notice "she must be beautiful" as a major quality.

Beauty is NOT a quality in a woman cos' it wasn't earn. Beauty should be earned like her ways of life, decent living, how she behave, character and personality. All this makes the beauty of a woman.

Does a physically good looking woman without good character, behavior and responsible manner make her beautiful? Ofcos NOT!! This means a woman beauty should be earn and need to work to deserve it not a God giving nature cos' He choose to make u physically attractive to posses it insight-out.

Don't marry because' she is beautiful from the outside! I learn the physically attracted women are prompt to demon poses and visitation.

Just becareful cos' its never a criteria for choosing a virtues wife that you will be proud of unless you re' ready to take her for deliverance all the time.... Joking

Goodluck searchers for beauty.

I wish he stays in Jos, all his madness will clear cos of the cold.

Pls sent him to to Jos and tell him to swag his dressing like this.... No body need to tell him to cover his head with thick cap and sucks in his hands and legs... This cold is killing here in Jos.

Happy January friends!!!!

Hello dear,
how are you doing, I am very happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred under the co-operation of a new partner from USA. Presently I am in USA for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring the funds despite that it failed us some how. Now you will need to contact the Rev Father whom used to be a God-father to me when i was in Dakar,

his name is Rev Father Gabriel Johnson and his email address is as follows:
Or call him with this number Ask him to send you a certified
( fathergabrieljohnson@hotmail.com )
( +221771816956 )


Bank Draft of $50.000.00 Us Dollars which I prepared and kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with Rev Gabriel Johnson, instruct him where to send you the draft Cheque.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share our joy and happiness after all the sufferings at that time. In the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to Rev Gabriel Johnson, on your behalf to receive that Bank Draft. Therefore feel free to get in touch with him and he will send the Cheque to you without delay take care and bye for now.
yours truly Tina

I advice you still love her the more cos' I believe you initiated her with the devil's spirit call "devil's game"!

Now you have to cast out the devil in her or take her for deliverance cos she is still poses. Don't blame her but yourself, if you never introduce her to that devil thing of yours, this wouldn't have happen.

You have to face it and don't involve the devil in your relationship next time.

#teamdeliverance

xdos:
Nora, God of Shiloh is still that same God u know.. U may still wanna call Him, God of Abraham... d name u desire to attribute to Him depends on u... calling Him God of Shiloh isn't out of place

If you refer God to a God adorn by mere men you are making a big mistake. God Himself recognised Abraham as the father of all nation but did not recognised shiloh formally.

Do you mean I can call Him the God of satan?

Please God is mightier that ever and can't be refer with a name of a mere human. God saw Abraham a righteous person and gave him the position just like chosen Jesus Christ and uplifted His name above all other names.

Why not call Him this names rather than a name of some men or event.....
*. El Shaddai(Lord God Almighty)
*. El Elyon(The Most High God)
*. Adonai(Lord, Master)
*. Yahweh(Lord, Jehovah)
*. Jehovah Nissi(The Lord My Banner)
*. Jehovah-Raah(The Lord My Shepherd)
*. Jehovah Rapha(The Lord That Heals)
*. Jehovah Shammah(The Lord Is There)
*. Jehovah Tsidkenu(The Lord Our Righteousness)
*. Jehovah Mekoddishkem(The Lord Who Sanctifies You)
*. El Olam(The Everlasting God)
*. Elohim(God)
*. Qanna(Jealous)
*. Jehovah Jireh(The Lord Will Provide)
*. Jehovah Shalom(The Lord Is Peace)
*. Jehovah Sabaoth(The Lord of Hosts)

"Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven." Psa 148:13

I pity some ladies! Are you blaming the man for having such wonderful God created flesh or blaming God for making it small that way?.

Must of you ladies who re fun of fornication should rethink cos' knowing your man before marriage does not give you the guaranty of lasting marriage. 1Cor 7:2 say "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband".

The size of manhood has nothing to do with peace N joy of marriage but the neglect of the creator of marriage (God). Be warn of discrimination.

Make a choice ------------ long pen is and trouble marriage or short pen is and peaceful home.??

badoolee:
lolz
Like are you taking my post on here serious

Nope!!! Just keeping myself here busy cos' I need rest from boredom.

badoolee:
shey alaba market

Lol!! Where is that market; hearing it for the first time. Na Wuse market for abuja nobi alabi market wey na old tomatoes dey sale pass..

U no see as my lips fresh? Hey just joking ok, nothing personal. But seriously, what has lips to do with additional quality of any responsible woman who have in mind a wonderful family with a responsible man.

My Advice:

- S3x is a mutual feelings, play along when he needs you. You have to pull yourself together and enjoy it along with him.

- Never think of divorce cos' the advicers will later laugh at you when you come up with another thread.

- If you think its too much and you can't stand it; pretend like you pass on(died) when he is raping you. He will respect you next time.

Just try it if it works out.

Aprime:
[color=#000033]*Sighs*

Marriage slowly creeping into daylight robbery.[/color]

So true, I remembered when my younger sister got married her bride price was not unto N20 cos we don't do traditional marriage but we sent her forth maybe a week or day to the wedding and the family takes responsibility and contributes more to the wedding.

Don't forget she is a medic working as a doctor with Nig Navy before she even got married. If you wanna marry the prettiest and cheap responsible learned then come to my state.... Plateau

ireny:
yeah, I love handsome guys with pink lips

Whao!!!! So if the guy has this 2 qualities - handsome; pink lips just like mine then he is the champ? Oops!!

So where do you think the ugly and other lip colors flee too? Don't forget that one has no choice to when dos lips and the socalled handsome where form. Accept what you have at your disposal or else I call you a "Races" to lip color and charge you to court for been a races.

badoolee:
Niggas with pink and red lips
D sensible ones tho

Hmmm!!! You mean my kind of natural pinky lips?

Nor wonder they rush it like fresh tomato in the market.

sexylogan:
He shouldn't take that loan just to marry...no point starting a family in debt. with N47k/mnth, how would he be able to repay it?
If she can wait for him to get a better job, she should.
Something similar happened to me. I had a gf when I was a med student. We really loved each other but she was in a hurry to get married. She got married to someone else cause she couldn't wait.

I feel your pain, I guest your waiting till you graduated was formatted and well calculated and now you re reaping the dividend of patience and hardwork. Now she might be wishing she waited a little longer.

I will advice him to stop the loan till he get a woman who can support him and accept his little offer in salary.

beinstein:
she's from benue state? Can't believe this bro. May i know the part she hailed from? Idoma or tiv? Strange i must say.

David Mark's sister, same tribe same village I guest.

FrancisTony:
What of, after being righteous on this earth, and when you die as a muslim, they tell you it's christianity that is real. Will you go to hell fire?

After as a Christian and they you it's Islam that's the best. Will you go to hell fire?


I am confused.

Don't be confused; In the begining was the word and the word was with God and the word was God (Jn 1:1), All scriptures are inspiration from God........ 2Tim 3:16, Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life, no one cometh to the father unless thru me(Jesus).

The word of God can never lie and anything from the bible are inspiration from God so don't doubt any word from it. All you need do is obey and be safe.

If you die as a righteous muslim but does not believe in the true son of God (Jesus) then such person await condemnation. I am not judging but saying wht the bible says.

Jesus says; no one goeth to the father unless thru Him. So even as a christian and you are not born again you will be condemn after judgment. That's why the prophet said I set before you life and death, choose life that yeah might live.

The choice is all ours to make.

But for the topic @Op; God does not have "IF" in his word. Don't belittle your faith because with it you can't please God.

Elantracey:
Trust me sometimes we do but the urge to please our friends and family makes us turn a blind eye to it. What does she do , is there anyway she could at least join you to finance the wedding?

Is there anyway you can do other things aside your job just to make money to cover up the expenses , I won't advice borrowing , that's a no no .

Come to think of it , since the family wants a big wedding are they not planning to join to finance it at all ? I do remember whenever a lady want to get marry in my family they always call meetings and donate to support the bride depending on the kind of wedding they want.

Its my friend who is passing thru the scenario and not me but I was once in such situation and had to give up too; when am loaded to the brim I will go out there and fetch her.

Most times the girls wanna feel along and make their friends see her guy with high esteem not knowing what he is passing thru just to make the wedding push thru.

I told my friend to go and make some more cash and leave her still PENDING and get back as a bigger boy and marry a village hardworking girl.

It pissed me off after one search and find her but can't afford the bill; its so painful.

DesChyko:
I wouldn't know the tradition where parents give bills to prospective inlaws though.

In Igbo tradition, the relatives of the man would inquire about the rights demanded by such town for marrying their daughter.
₦800,000 for what? Even if she is a Ph.D holder, that fee, excluding preparations is exhorbitant.

Let him look for another option.

The lady in question is from Benue state and 800k according to them was even small whc cn only be managed.

Now I see why lots of men are stranded and not ready to marry cos the list of wht the girls need in him and his pucket re' too much beyond found. I wish the girls themself understand.

Let me share what my friend is passing through right now.

He is a civil servant who earn N47k monthly as a graduate with one of the government parastatal.

He is willing to get married to his girlfriend but when he approach the family of the girl, they gave him a bill for the traditional wedding worth N800k. He is thinking of going for a loan just to marry the lady he desire.

The issue now is, he can't afford that amount which makes him not ready for marriage.
Do you think he should go for the loan or wait till God touches the heart of the government to increase the wages before he get married or till he is able to save to such worth of money?

I also notice its a paramount problem must of us men are passing through silently "Willing to marry but not ready".

What advice do we have for each other as men and for this my friend.

Cheers.

Elantracey:
The girl was tired of the relationship , she just cooked up a silly excuse.

Gbam!!! The love she had for you has EXPIRED:

What a perfect finishing, the story goes with the topic and right now I just CLAP for you.

Great job @dicefrost.

A career woman is my value, I am not searching for a house wife but a wife of virtue not dependant and redundant;

A happy home is a result of compatibility from both parties, when he is happy cos you supported him and she is also happy when you support her! The worst is to marry a house wife who just sit and wait for her hubby to get back from work. Don't forget there is diminishing return in marriage too when pressure is one side and expectations are not met.

A woman who support her hubby is capable of being a wife and not some one who relax and wait for hubby coming with frustrated 18K minimum wage after the month.

Shame! If the pastor sees his daughters dressed this way and say DECENT then something is wrong with him.

Shame!! If his daughter schooled abroad and he has about 2 universities in Nigeria. Seriously I haven't learn anything from this post.

Hazardd:
Nice write up dear

Thanks big bro.

myhoodlink:
Hmmmm...if truly these are your own words, you can put them into a book. God bless you.

Thanks so much bro. I will update later, I have learn that experience contributes a lot to our personality.

Do You Want A Wife / Husband?
Whenever you have a problem, it is always a good idea to consider what you wantfirst. After all, how can something be a problem if it isn’t relevant to something you want? Knowing the outcome you want also lets you know what exactly constitutes a solution to the problem.
In this case, the problem is “You’d like to find a husband or wife”, so the first thing to consider is whether you actually want to be married. After all, if you have no desire to actually commit to anyone, no amount of searching will do you any good. Do you want someone to spend the rest of your life with? Do you want an activity partner that you have sex with once in a while (this is not necessarily separate from the person you want to spend your life with)? Do you just want a sex partner?
Keep in mind that “being married” is just a label, like “dating”, or “girlfriend”. “Married” people can range from enemies trying to make each other’s lives miserable, to activity partners who happen to live together, to someone you are madly in love with and want to start a family with. So when you figure out if you really want to be married, also make it clear to yourself what being married means to you.
Fill in the blank:
This is what marriage means to me:
When you’re clear on what you want, we can take a look at what you can do to accomplish that! Take a hard look at your definition. Does your definition of marriage require an actual wedding? Maybe you wrote something like “Two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together”. Well, that doesn’t require an actual “legal” marriage! You can tell someone “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you”, and if he/she says “I love you too – that sounds great!” then you two are “married” according to that definition. The wedding wouldn’t actually be required! If you definitelyneeda wedding, then a wedding would be part of your definition of a marriage.
“What’s the point of being so nitpicky?” you may wonder. Well, it’s to make sure you know what you want well enough that you can express it to the other person. Imagine the following scenario:
You excitedly asked the other person, “Will you marry me?”
And he/she replies, “Yes!!!”
Then, “Great! When’s the wedding?”
“How about we don’t have a wedding?”
“I thought you want to get married.”
“I do!”
“Huh? How do we do that without a wedding?”
This is actually a “good” case where the difference in definition is apparent before legally binding stuff occurs. What if this conversation happens with one person wanting kids and the other notafterthey are married for a while? Can you imagine the emotional pain and legal headaches? You need to be clear on what you expect from a husband/wife, so that when he/she says “Yes!!”, it means what you think it means. The only way you can do that is if you know what you’re asking!!
Who Do You Want As A Wife / Husband?
Once you’ve figured out what a marriage entails (so that you know what to ask a potential husband / wife), the question is who to ask! Take a while and think about what qualities you need in someone for marriage.
Fill in the blank:
Here are the qualities I need in a husband / wife:
Like the definition of marriage above, this list will help you determine what you are looking for, so that you spend a minimum amount of time pursuing the wrong people. It lets you determine quickly who to ask and what to ask.
Without this list, one of the most common things that happen is that you meet someone who satisfiessomeof the qualities on your list. You devote a significant portion of your time into that relationship (say a year or two), only to realize later that this person simply does not have the qualities you need to become your husband or wife. Think about how many people you meet through the course of a year or two. By devoting most of your time to a relatively hopeless relationship, your deprive yourself of the chance of exploring other relationships that might give you what you want!

Do You Want A Wife / Husband? If you answer to this is yes the following consideration will help you.

After careful consideration, my list is pretty simple:

- Is Single
- Open And Honest
- Educated
- Flexible/Open Minded – Easily Adapts To Change
- Has Great Listening And Conflict Resolution Skills
- Knows What I Wants
- Available – Able To Fit Me Into my Life
- Has Compatible Goals
- Loves And Appreciates Me For Who I Am

After I made this list, it only took about a year for me to find what I feel is the perfect person for me.
Partly, it’s because the list allowed me to filter out people very fast. It only takes a few questions to figure out if someone has a decent idea of what they want in life, so that the amount of time invested in “rejecting” a potential candidate is highly minimized.
Another great part of this strategy is that it minimizes emotional damage from tangling with the people who don’t fit your criteria, since you get out really early before getting emotionally involved. It also minimizes your chances of rejection, since the one person you find will be highly compatible!

Where To Find A Husband / Wife

Now that we know what you want to ask and who you want to ask, you just have to find that person! In a way, this is both a lot easier and a lot harder than it sounds, as shown in the key to a healthy relationship. Let’s say the person on your list can usually be found in say, a dance class. So you go dancing and eventually find this person. However, since you weren’t really interested in dancing to begin with, this relationship will fade away once your interest in dancing fades. You need long term common interests in order to spend time together!
There is, of course, a chance that the person in dance class may have a long term common interest with you, but why not start at the place of your long term common interest? For example, if you’ve sung your whole life, why not start at the place where you sing? If the dance place person has a long term interest in singing, you’re bound to meet him/her at singing events at some point!
At your singing venues, simply talk to people – it is likely that they are life long singers too! Additionally, you don’t ever have to plan dates in order to get to know the person. Each time you naturally meet at your place of long term common interest, it is automatically a “date”!
For example, one of my long term common interests is coming up with theories about the world in order to expand my awareness and understanding of the universe. In order to do so, I started this this chat on a social media. It is precisely this common interest that attracted the girl that I am in love with.
Were things ever awkward? No, because we had a reason to be talking.
Did we ever run out of things to talk about? No, because we were interested in discussing things to expand our view of the world – a common interest.
Did we ever have to worry about planning a date? No, because events related to our common interest just popped up.
Common interests are the reason that two people should be together in the first place, offering each other value and making each other’s lives better. Long term common interests just mean that the two people would be doing this for a long time!
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go to dance class if you actually are interested in dancing though. If you are working on expanding your long term interests and discovering yourself, then that is perfectly reasonable! Just be aware that the relationships forged there will drop if it turns out that you really weren’t all that interested in it.
And that’s all there is to it!
To summarize:
1) Find out what marriage means to you.
2) Write down the list of qualities in the person you want to marry.
3) Start looking for this person at your normal places of long term interest.
4) Understand yourself and develop long term interests/a life purpose if you don’t have any.
5) Get to know this person and see if they fit your list of qualities, then ask them to marry you if they fit
6) Repeat steps 2-5 until you marry the right person!
Just have faith and soon, the right person will be standing in front of you saying “I do”!

....To be continued......

This is a direct conversation a lady had with me.
She: Was thinking....... Did u eva ask me 2 marry u?

Me: what?

She: I guest you had me well, I just need and answer frm u that's all.

Me: well I guest I hw never ever told u or ask u such questions.

She: you hav nt answered me!

Me: the answer is NO.

She: "smiling"

Me: don't forget we re nt yet friends but just met on a social media n met live once.....

End of discussion.

Its not bad for a girl to woo a man, this is hw she wish and desire me marry her after we met for just a week.

Zakkyoz:
Use your instinct. Quit when you are fed up. Marriage is designed to be enjoyed and not endured.

Nothing like instinct! Marriage was ordain by God and it should be made honorable and bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge -Heb 13:4; don't go into marriage with intention of divorce cos as true believer "not christian" your thought should be joy towards the married not divorce.

"But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery..... Mathew 5:32". So as a believer you are not suppose to divorce your wife under any circumstances unless unfaithfulness. Any word written in the bible is a guide to Godly living so don't in anyway use your instinct to justify your errs 2Tim 3:16.

This is why I am so careful when it comes to who I am to marry cos I don't wanna make a choice of regret. Your wife will be a great determinant of your destiny to be fulfilled, so pray and watch as you desire a wife called "the virtues woman".

My take anyway.

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