opeyy:
I am sure you will use wisdom to decipher a proactive way forward from all the responses. It is easy to have opinions but as they say, 'walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me'

I can completely relate, and without knowing exactly what is going through your wife's head, it is more probable that she is not sexually attracted to you. You should therefore make yourself attractive to her so that you can both enjoy eachother. Start by paying attention to yourself and listen to her, is she telling you things you're doing that she does not like? not necessarily sexual, it can be as simple as snoring that puts someone off, do you have good hygiene - she may not want to hurt you by telling you this so look inwards too. Never forget that it always takes two.

Going out to cheat is never the answer if you love your wife because it can have the opposite effect and will never be worth it in the end. Also making her feel you're desired by other women will not work, in fact, she will probably feel relieved and be more distant. You need to discover the underlying reason why she does not find you attractive and work on this, this is the only way to improve your love life.

You have to connect with her emotionally in order to re-ignite the spark. Most importantly, discover her love language and build on this. I hope you both make it work xx

@opeyy thanks your contribution make sense, I'm also seeing things in a different perspective now - educating.

@opeyy I've asked her questions on things I'm not doing right and shown her my willingness to improve and make it right and be a better man for her and father to the home yet she says I'm doing things right.
But you comment just stroke a cord as I read through, if she manages to say anything she'll say 'i don't send her text messages the way I used to'.
As for hygiene I keep myself very neat, I also try to help her to be neat the way I want her to be.
My problem with her is she doesn't speak, and I creat room for that always because I want everyone to be free in the home.

Her love language is attention, but have been in a situation where you give the required attention as needed but the person doesn't respond as required rather as transfers the attention to the children.

Okay some days ago she said it's been awhile we saw a movie together, I obliged to do so with her she downloaded the movie of her choice we freshened up go set to be see the movie 10minutes into the movie she slept off. I just smiled and continued enjoying my movie, till today she has not said anything about it.

I'm so sensitive to her that any negative comments she points about my attitude towards her which I see may affect our relationship I quickly start working on it and adjust.

I bound myself to a rule that once I'm at home I'll not stay over the phone for more than 30mins so I could give everyone attention both in the day and night but guess what countless times we may be gisting and playing and laughing suddenly the next thing I notice is that she has slept off

I'll take your advice to work more on myself, hygiene and others.

Thanks to you all...
Please permit me to answer some of the things that some person's pointed.

1) I'm a neat guy, I'm too neat to a fault that I I'm very sensitive to dirt any kind of dirt around.
I don't have mouth odour at all nor body odour.
From the time we got married till date I personally go shopping for the groceries and toiletries for the home and and personal effect.
I personally buy her underwear's take out time off office hours to accompany her when she asks to join her select underwear's that are appealing to me.
Neatness is my thing.

2) My approach towards her when I'm on are usually tender, although I try to put her on key before arrival.

3) I've pleaded, I've cautioned, I've revealed everything she need to know about men (me) when it come to sex.

4) I can't cheat, even though I get advances from women, even married women, I don't keep it for a second thought.

I'd love to hear from more Ladies

Chuknovski:
Bros don't listen to clueless advice from sex starved bachelors, the truth is marriage sex gets boring after sometime, thank God you have kids,just try and see how you can spend quality time ⌚ with her,be friends and don't always have sex in view,I know how hard it is, also pray together, you may be considering adultery, please don't fall for it, bless you

Thank you sir.

czarr:
Yes there is a lot about women you don't know so listen attentively.

You mentioned you've never cheated on her and she knows it, you see that is part of the problem, a woman cannot give her best when she is assured of your commitment and faithfulness.

If a woman knows for certain you won't cheat on her or leave her she'll be bored.

UNCERTAINTY about your faithfulness is what pushes a woman to give her best in the bedroom and home. It's why men who are known by their wives to have the need,ability and capacity to cheat have the best behaved women.

Create an air of uncertainty, create competition anxiety in her, you don't have to cheat, she just has to feel like her place is being threatened.

Have your guy friend call you in the night hours save his number with a female name and don't pick, if she questions you about the call, say it's a married woman from your office that is disturbing you let that your guy send love messages to your phone.

buy presents like wrist watch or perfume and have it delivered to your address it should be tagged from your secret admirer....I know it sounds cheesy but building attraction and stimulating competition anxiety is a game, play it or remain depressed, don't over do it though.

Women want what other women want, if you wife sees that you are wanted by different women out there, she'll step up her game, but remember while doing all these don't ask for sex, and if she makes moves decline...and watch how the power would shift back to your hands.

Relationships are not about love but about power and leverage, she has the power over you because she knows you are a good guy, a stand up guy, so she uses sex as a weapon to get you to do her bidding and let things go her way because you are worried she would deprive you of sex.

Another thing is that you may not be her type, and she settled for you cos you are a safe option and her type would not commit to her.

that is why you should know your woman's type, the type of guys she gave her body to in her past....if you don't match the description of those guys, then understand that she is settling for you and you don't turn her on.

Thanks man
Very insightful...

Patented:
A lot can be seen from how your relationship started. What were you guys up to and how we're u guys together before marriage.

Relationship and dating was good, I read and research alot, I prepared before venturing into marriage with her, we dated for 1yr 8months.

There were boundaries of no sex dating.
But we were emotionally attracted to each other and romantic.

We were not living together.
But we saw almost everyday after work and we spent good times together.

She came visiting the house maybe 4 - 5times throughout the dating period.

The first 2 year of our marriage was all good, she was sexually active and hot.
But the kissing part was still an issues.

I was not really available as I supposed to be in the second 2years due to the nature of my work, I was not meeting up at all sexually and emotionally.

Things got better I was transferred, I'm now in charge, which give me a lot of time to spend with the family.

As for the lesbian part I don't think so.

Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.