Men dey suffer ooooo.

My marriage is just four years and what you just described of your wife is exactly what I experience in this journey since the birth of our first child.
I had to tell her that I would never beg her for sex ever again and I strictly told her that anytime she needs me she should call me.


You see, alot of unmarried folks here are saying unrealistic things that would become a reality to them when they start the marriage journey of a thing.

My brother, women are wired differently and understanding them requires a lot of patience and time.

You just have to make up your mind to live with her like that and gba kamu as someone suggested if you don't want to have extramarital affair or you should go with the bandwagon that says look for a pretty young lady that can satisfy your sexual fantasies but will not get pregnant and will not feel entitled.
Lobatan.

No one will give you a treatment or punishment you won't accept. People and in the case, a woman by nature only respect you at the level you deserve, so she will push and test your boundaries to determine the extent of her limit. You can take it, that's why she is doing it. Men that won't tolerate it will not experience it, because she will know.

Do exactly what czarr said, you'll see changes in a month max. The day a woman start withdrawing withholding sex as a tool, then I'll boycott that poosie permanently. Even if she comes back to her senses, I might not touch her again. My faithfulness is not due to sexual scarcity, but because of my respect to you (her), and if you withhold sex from me, then you just released me from sexual faithfulness.

The fun in marriage for modern women is like how you enjoy acceleration. It is fun when you're accelerating to 150km per hour, but when you're now riding at the top speed, it feels normal and even not fast. The joy is in the process, not the destination. Its why many will be like a bad gyal sexually before marriage, but turn to nun when they are in it. Open your eye, the world don change.

Ekejoestar:
It could be as a result of FGM.

Though she may have been Genitally Mutilated and that could be a great factor to determine how she will enjoy sex but aside from it, it's either she has never enjoyed sex with you and you are not hitting her right, giver her head or buy intimacy gadgets like vibrator so as to spice things up in the bedroom

I hope you guys have a deep emotional connection and did you guys dated before marriage and was sex involved in the dating phase?

My GF sent me this message as a testament of how good I ram her.

Lies!!

She is right here with me, saying the same thing after I rammed dafuq out of her.

Her pussy ain't yours nigha ..it's your turn

So many things could have led to this ,it is only when she speaks up that you can actually find solution to this ,for those saying that you should cheat on her ,for your information...she will still careless about it .

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

Ekejoestar:
It could be as a result of FGM.

Though she may have been Genitally Mutilated and that could be a great factor to determine how she will enjoy sex but aside from it, it's either she has never enjoyed sex with you and you are not hitting her right, giver her head or buy intimacy gadgets like vibrator so as to spice things up in the bedroom

I hope you guys have a deep emotional connection and did you guys dated before marriage and was sex involved in the dating phase?

My GF sent me this message as a testament of how good I ram her.

Na 2 years old you Dey lash

I feel sorry for the both of you. Sexual incompatibility. I doubt there is any way out. It would be better to seek a professional sex therapist but they are rare in this country because people don't see it a priority. This is one of the disadvantages of not exploring sex before marriage but i will still preach abstinence before marriage. It seems compatibility is based on luck sometimes.

ernie1234:
Bro that is exactly my wife you just described. We have been married for 10 years. I had serious issues with her and battled with issues of kissing which she doesn't like, pre-intimacy for where, she only likes direct.
We are both believers so I had to endure it overtime and as we speak now bro, I had to find a way to leave with it bro. I now enjoy her just the way it is and had to enjoy our sex life with 2 kids. My brother It's not easy oh but I had to discipline myself that I die with my wife no matter what.

I fear God so I don't want to engage in adultery or any kind of nonsense with other Jezebel ladies. My advise get used to it. Give her time she will adjust.

Translation: Join me in my suffering since misery loves company.

This is a problem he can solve. Let him find the solution that you refused to.

Ask her closest friend to help you get answers from her

Thanks to you all...
Please permit me to answer some of the things that some person's pointed.

1) I'm a neat guy, I'm too neat to a fault that I I'm very sensitive to dirt any kind of dirt around.
I don't have mouth odour at all nor body odour.
From the time we got married till date I personally go shopping for the groceries and toiletries for the home and and personal effect.
I personally buy her underwear's take out time off office hours to accompany her when she asks to join her select underwear's that are appealing to me.
Neatness is my thing.

2) My approach towards her when I'm on are usually tender, although I try to put her on key before arrival.

3) I've pleaded, I've cautioned, I've revealed everything she need to know about men (me) when it come to sex.

4) I can't cheat, even though I get advances from women, even married women, I don't keep it for a second thought.

I'd love to hear from more Ladies

Br majority of ladies think the same way, that they have All it takes to pay you back for whatever good you do to them , that's what makes most of them not be appreciative in anything done to them. That Thing they usually think they have to pay you back for your good deeds is nothing but SEX[quote which both Party enjoys not only the man that enjoys it . That's their mentality. author=Daestro3 post=113607183]

Honestly. I'm in your shoes too.

But thankfully it's with my girlfriend. Anyways I'm going to break up with her latest today evening.

Mine behave as though having sex with me was doing me a favor.

And if you do anything for her, all she thinks about is that you did it because you want to have sex with her.

And I think if I ever get married to her, this your condition will be child's play. [/quote]

Rejected[s]

ernie1234:
Bro that is exactly my wife you just described. We have been married for 10 years. I had serious issues with her and battled with issues of kissing which she doesn't like, pre-intimacy for where, she only likes direct.
We are both believers so I had to endure it overtime and as we speak now bro, I had to find a way to leave with it bro. I now enjoy her just the way it is and had to enjoy our sex life with 2 kids. My brother It's not easy oh but I had to discipline myself that I die with my wife no matter what.

I fear God so I don't want to engage in adultery or any kind of nonsense with other Jezebel ladies. My advise get used to it. Give her time she will adjust.

[/s]

A lot of challenges is going on these days in our society and family. These challenges can be personal or individual, cooperate or organisation challenges and could be a general challenge. One of the crucial challenges affecting families and individual is our sexual relationship with one another.

Sex is a binding force between two mature adults and must be handled with all seriousness. It has been discovered that many people are not happy in their marital relationship because of sexual differences. These sexual differences could be as a result of so many factors.
1. Different sexual Orientation.
2. Early experience on Child abuse and rape.
3. Hormonal differences
4. Size of sexual organ and desire for satisfaction.
5. Organ mutilation and circumcision. E t c.

However, no matter your challenges, there is a way out. Talk to a specialist and a sexologist and get solution to your challenges for a token today.

Send a mail containing your WhatsApp or telegram number to: gtrusting74@gmail.com

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

Was there any signs of this trait of hers while you both were dating ?

My understanding is she has lost interest in you...if you guys were dating she would have sent you breakfast and just tell you she isn't feeling it anymore....but marriage gives no room for that...this is the perfect time she would want to cheat on you, there could be a lover out there without your knowledge that being said.... Time would always draw her back to you it's just a phase that would pass... there are sometimes i loose interest in my girlfriend I just give myself space for that phase to fessile out and there are also times I will be so into her I just want to put my seed in there to secure her to myself forever

Just stay celibate for now, you can get a mistress if you must but don't loose yourself in the process...this is the best time to also monitor her don't also show her any attention don't ask for sex show her you're flirting around jealousy would reset her brain back to loving you.....

Typical excuses. Too much chores, she's tired from her office work etc
Only foolish men would believe such tales.

Aforxzy:
It's really sad what you are going thru.

I wonder how your relationship was before you guys got married. I'm sure you saw the signs but assume she's goodly type.

Anyways, your wife could be one of the overly religious ones that believe intercourse is for procreation only or she is circumcised which could make her not to enjoy the act.

Also how is her work schedule? Is she a working class lady or house wife.
Is she always busy and overwhelmed with chores? Cos this can be so demanding , couple with taking care of the kids.

Take her out and have a heart to heart talk with her and if necessary, seek a marriage counsellor to help out. Hopefully she will change for good.

How come marriage sex gets boring, but bf and gf sex that last 4 years+ don't get boring?

Chuknovski:
Bros don't listen to clueless advice from sex starved bachelors, the truth is marriage sex gets boring after sometime, thank God you have kids,just try and see how you can spend quality time ⌚ with her,be friends and don't always have sex in view,I know how hard it is, also pray together, you may be considering adultery, please don't fall for it, bless you

Do you have a reasonable advice?

Medianna:
My own is that people who know nothing about marriage and are sopose to be learning are here talking chuchuchuchu like a rushing tap.
Cause traffic, and even block road for reasonable advisers

odinson1:
Your wife is not Sexually attracted to you,she only married you because of stability and as a retirement plan. If she's not having sex with you,then she's most probably having it with another,a guy she finds sexually attractive.
No amount of Pleading or therapy will get her to fall in love with you. Women and simps here will tell you to take her out and buy her gifts etc, so she can be appeased and allow you put in the tip,but how long will you be willing to keep that up?

Run a DNA test on those kids of yours

You speak exactly my mind. May god bless you

czarr:
Yes there is a lot about women you don't know so listen attentively.

You mentioned you've never cheated on her and she knows it, you see that is part of the problem, a woman cannot give her best when she is assured of your commitment and faithfulness.

If a woman knows for certain you won't cheat on her or leave her she'll be bored.

UNCERTAINTY about your faithfulness is what pushes a woman to give her best in the bedroom and home. It's why men who are known by their wives to have the need,ability and capacity to cheat have the best behaved women.

Create an air of uncertainty, create competition anxiety in her, you don't have to cheat, she just has to feel like her place is being threatened.

Have your guy friend call you in the night hours save his number with a female name and don't pick, if she questions you about the call, say it's a married woman from your office that is disturbing you let that your guy send love messages to your phone.

buy presents like wrist watch or perfume and have it delivered to your address it should be tagged from your secret admirer....I know it sounds cheesy but building attraction and stimulating competition anxiety is a game, play it or remain depressed, don't over do it though.

Women want what other women want, if you wife sees that you are wanted by different women out there, she'll step up her game, but remember while doing all these don't ask for sex, and if she makes moves decline...and watch how the power would shift back to your hands.

Relationships are not about love but about power and leverage, she has the power over you because she knows you are a good guy, a stand up guy, so she uses sex as a weapon to get you to do her bidding and let things go her way because you are worried she would deprive you of sex.

Another thing is that you may not be her type, and she settled for you cos you are a safe option and her type would not commit to her.

that is why you should know your woman's type, the type of guys she gave her body to in her past....if you don't match the description of those guys, then understand that she is settling for you and you don't turn her on.

This is the best advice here. Do this and come back with your testimony.

If you can get her jealous without cheating, I think would be recommendable.

That is wickedness on the parton f your wife

Are you sure she's not sleeping around?

Let her see a relationship therapist for counseling

She's killing your love slowly

This is emotional blackmail

This is why some men end up cheating

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

Another bla bla bla. Always blaming the woman like the typical African man that you are. I can bet you have not tabled all these concern before her to see what she’ll tell you. How about taking her out and letting her know how important she is to you? How about dressing nicely, brush your mouth and try to be clean before initiating the kissing? How about trying to see if she’s in the mood for sex before making the move? You think it all ends in pre-intimacy when she is not really there? How about trying to see if she’s worried about certain things that’s not right in your family or hers? How many times have you taken care of her parents or family? So, go back to when you guys started and the things that attracted her to you and take it from there ok. Even the bla bla bla you wrote is boring, maybe that’s why you’re boring too. Wake up bro. It’s so easy to get married but tough to live with one another because you did not grow up together. Good luck sha.

op buy SPANISH FLY and she will change

Baba for a woman to love you and give you want you want at start and change

Women at times change because of situations
When are not changing she is not happy
Woman don’t need to tell you this
Or need that they are like demon they believe they are not meant to express all there thought for a man so he will not take advantage and that is bad not all men do that

Bro try improve
Change something in you
She will feel you again
Improve in some aspect I can’t explain much
She is your wife
You can’t push her out with two kids

Work on your self
woman like surprise

Was FGM done on her?
This is an important question op needs to answer

imagrg:
Nor take preek kill your wife.
The kpekus is always there for you.
No rush rush.
Just stay calm. Nor go take pre-intimacy injure your wife. She nor like that kind of play.
Take lime for one week to tame your greedy libido.
Think less of towtow. Nor be food.
I been get wife too. We been dey knack twice a month. No play play. We go straight.

Op abeg pray with psalm 27 against this advice,its very dangerous

WatchYourSix:
This one has married woman who married for the Mrs title, availability, convenience, and financial security....

This is exactly what Benee1000 was sayimg on his thread ....very sweet sermon all men should read


Pastor Oluvan ....this is the reality of many marriages out there... this age is messed up


Jesus said be gentle as dive but be shrewd as the serpent

If you dont go with your street sense and head..scriptures alone will not stop you from marrying these kind of women....

Women that has tasted different dícks and chose the available man for marriage after becoming born again....

..after all, he who finds a wife finds fimds a good thing.....the ops wife is shaa a wife??

God no go let us marry werey...

Sadly, A lot of men are on this table.

Please you can try to edit your post to include the link to that thread.

Thanks

angelfallz:
How come marriage sex gets boring, but bf and gf sex that last 4 years+ don't get boring?

A very good and important question.

I have a write up that explains why, which I made as a post on another thread.

Maybe I'll post it as a new thread to engage a wider audience.

Kollins11:
The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house

No be Satan advice be this?...

Don't put asunder.
Make him....OP Manage your wife after all some women are managing their husband... 1+1=1

Divorce Her, send her back to her parents house...

Imagine always begging your wife for kiss..
Rubbish

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

If nothing is bothering her, then she is cheating on you or maybe you dont touch her right. Try by starting to crack sexual jokes hours before intercourse starts, buy her chocolates, wine her up till she is tipsy, that should help make her Hot, then u make your move. If all these dont work then brother na dry land u marry.

AmuEbule:

Another bla bla bla. Always blaming the woman like the typical African man that you are. I can bet you have not tabled all these concern before her to see what she’ll tell you. How about taking her out and letting her know how important she is to you? How about dressing nicely, brush your mouth and try to be clean before initiating the kissing? How about trying to see if she’s in the mood for sex before making the move? You think it all ends in pre-intimacy when she is not really there? How about trying to see if she’s worried about certain things that’s not right in your family or hers? How many times have you taken care of her parents or family? So, go back to when you guys started and the things that attracted her to you and take it from there ok. Even the bla bla bla you wrote is boring, maybe that’s why you’re boring too. Wake up bro. It’s so easy to get married but tough to live with one another because you did not grow up together. Good luck sha.

That teethbrushing is very important oo, smelly breath can kill a woman's libido

ndi sex after wedding. Ntoor.