₦airaland Forum

(Episode 8 )

I was having only 400 naira on me. The money my mum left beside my pillow for my feeding allowance. And as a guy, I should be the one to take care of Our (Lola & I) transport fare.
We were already returning home. I don't even know Lola's house but I knew it shouldn't be far from mine.
Absolutely, 400 naira won't be enough for both of us transportion back home.
I was really baffled.

We were still on our way to the nearest bus stop or let me say "a motorcycle stop". This Lola can form Ehn.. She isn't even trying to talk to me.. She was just on her own, operating her mobile phone.. Though we were closer to each other

Me: Lola, thanks for the accompany. How do we go home?
Lola: How did you bring me here (she replied jokingly)
Me: (is she expecting us to take a taxi or what? I heard unilag girls are expensive.) I'm serious Joor... How do we go?
Lola: wait... I'm sure you know you are paying my T-fare(she stopped, facing me)
Me: What does that mean? Are you saying I'm not capable? (even though I knew the money won't be enough)
Lola: No.. Dear.. I didn't say that.. (she replied me still engrossed in phone)

How can I catch her attention oo...? She doesn't know I'm serious.

Me: Lola, be careful with your phone o.. They steal alot in this area.
Lola: Really?
Me: yes.. I can help you keep it in my pocket. It's safe with me.
Lola: (she immediately gave the phone to me) I know you want me to stop operating my phone.
Me: not really.. I just don't want to get attacked because of an iPhone 6s.
Lola: (smiles) Okay oo..
Me: yes.. I'm having only 400 naira with me. Will it be enough? (I voiced out)
Lola: I don't know this area (she wasnt even concerned)

I was really frustrated. Few minutes later, we got to the bus stop. I told the motor cycle operator to take us to Ipamesan road(that's the name of my street). He charged 450 naira for both of us. I bargained to 400 naira (me that I don't price something before).. So He agreed.

Me: Lola.. Okay, let's go..
Lola: I can't sit at the back o..
Me: (I didn't even argue with her.. ) Okay then.. Mount first..

We mounted the bike and off we went.
We were still on the bike when Lola started a conversation.

Lola: Wesley, who do you think i am to you?
Me: A nice friend
Lola: since the day we met, you just friend zoned me...
Me: really? I don't think so..

The motor cycle operator was just laughing..

Lola: (taking to the operator) What's funny Mr man
Motor cycle operator: e ma binu o (Yoruba - don't be offended)

Lola didn't utter a word until we unmounted from the bike �... I gave the man 400 naira (my feeding money) and he zoomed off..

You know Nigerian motor cycle operators, they won't even say thank you. Anytime I mount a bike, immediately I get down from the bike, I will pay the operator and say thank you. I didn't remember to tell this man thank you because It wasn't convenient paying with my food money.

I will have to force my self to eat what is at home.
Lola had this dull face. I knew she was really disappointed. I pretended not to have noticed it. I returned her phone and She told me she will be passing the x-axis of the road. I asked her if I could accompany her, she boldly and emphatically said No. We bided bye. I immediately walked down to my house.

What's this in my pocket? I felt a kind of paper when I dipped my finger into my pocket. I knew I didn't take any paper with me. So, I hurriedly removed the paper (as I presumed) , which turned into a 1000 naira note.

Yeeee.... 1,000 naira? Who dipped this into my pocket?


Read Episode 9 for more

I'm sorry for the brevity of this episode.. I've been busy.. That's why.

My First Girlfriend – My Life Story
(Episode 7)

It was early in the morning, precisely on Tuesday, 17th of November 2015. I had to visit Mr. Johnson that morning before he left his house. The alarm I set on my phone already buzz and woke me up. This tecno phone is very loud... ehn like an home theater. On a normal day alarms don’t wake me up no matter how loud it is… I also don’t know why. Maybe I was underage… LOL.
I was still on my bed while different thoughts were flooding my mind. Hmmm... I have to be successful in this life. I am young but I started thinking like an elderly person already. This life ehn… You go to school, and they teach you to become an employee… No., I can’t work for someone o. I have to be my own boss. Another thought came to my mind again… “Is it not 8am already?” and I have to get to Mr. Johnson’s house before that 8,
I jumped up like someone who just received a message from an evil spirit…, Picked up my phone to check the time...
Me: Ohhh…. Mtcheeew (Hissing…With a sigh of relief) It’s just 7:02am.
I immediately went to my mum’s room.., she wasn’t there. I knew she would have gone to work. So, I went straight to the kitchen to check what she prepared for me to eat… I opened all the pots, but found nothing enticing and delicious…, so I went back to my room.
I mind eating(I might not eat), anytime I have to get something important done… so, as I started preparing to go to Mr. Johnson’s house I saw Four Hundred naira beside my pillow. I knew it was my mum’s doing but 400 Naira can’t be enough for me na. I kept the Money in the trousers I will be wearing and continued my preparation.
It was already 7:44am when I got fully prepared. Actually, Mr. Johnson’s house wasn’t too far from my house. I took my phone, slide it into my back pocket, grabbed my keys and headed for Mr. Johnson’s house.
On my way going, I was already about 5 minutes to Mr. Johnson’s house when I ran into Lola. That girl ehn… She was carrying a designer bag. Only God Knows what is in there, Because the bag looked too occupied. There was no way I could dodge myself from her… It was a narrow way.
Me: Hey Lola, How are you today? Where are you coming from?
Lola: (looking at me as if I’m a stranger) Hey Wesley. What’s up? (She didn’t even answer me)
Me: I thought wale said you had already gone back to school (I lied)
Lola: (smiling) No... Have not I never told wale that.
Me: Ohh… So… (Raising my eye brow)Why did you hang up on me the other time?
Lola: please, don’t ask me that question.
Me: Really? Okay... have got somewhere to go... Talk to you later.
Lola: Is the place far?
Me: If it is far, I wouldn’t be trekking… I’m not a poor guy… Hello…?
Lola: What? That was too rude. I was only asking a question.
Me: Okay… I’m Sorry.
(I did as if I was about to leave) Answer my question. Where are you coming from?
Lola: I won’t answer you.
Me: Okay then. No problem Miss.
Lola: Can I follow you? (She said shyly)

I removed my phone from my back pocket. It was already 8:05am. “8:05am! This girl won’t be an obstacle in Jesus name…” I said to myself.

Me: Why will you follow me? Hmmm... Okay, let’s go. (I knew I was already late, so I just accepted)

She changed her direction, and we started moving ahead. This girl can work really slowly. Gush… I hope I meet Mr. Johnson.
After about two minutes, we were already on Mr. Johnson’s street. His house was at the end of the street. Have already sighted his jeep (A Toyota Highlander) from afar. So… I wasn’t nervous anymore.

Lola: I went with my mum to my aunt’s house, last night. She put to bed early this morning.
Me: Ohh… Congrats… I thought you didn’t want to talk.
Lola: Wesley! (She said it confidently… I was almost afraid sef) Stop behaving childish… that was why I hanged up yesterday.
Me: (Yeee….. See how this girl just corrected me. Wait o… Was I, or I’m I behaving childish? I didn’t utter a word)
Lola: Okay… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was just angry.
Me: (If I ask “Who are you angry at?” she will think it’s childish) No… It’s nothing. I understand. Just forget.
Lola: How has life been? I heard you can create software
Me: Not really… But I design websites.
Lola: (smiling) Great! Computer Guru. Can you design a website for me?

I couldn’t reply her. We already got to Mr. Johnson’s house, he and his wife were outside.

Me: Good Morning sir.
Mr. Johnson: Good Morning Wesley. (Facing is wife, Sister Lucy) Delight! (That’s what they call themselves) Please, bring me those chairs.
Lola: (trying to bend down with her mini skirt… I didn’t even talk about it... *lol) Good Morning Sir. Good Morning Ma. (Facing Sister Lucy)
Mr. Johnson & Mrs. Johnson: Good Morning dear. (Mrs. Johnson was already leaving to get the chairs)
Mr. Johnson: How are you?
Lola: I’m good. (She didn’t even add sir)
Me: Sir! I thought I wouldn’t even meet you…
Mr. Johnson: You were lucky... I was about leaving. It was my wife that was delaying me.

Sister Lucy (Mrs. Johnson, Mr. Johnson’s Wife) was bringing the chairs when she saw me and winked at me… I’m sure it was because of the girl, Lola that followed me

Mrs. Johnson: Wesley Wesleyooo (She sometimes calls me that)
Me: Sister Lucy Lucy!!! (I retaliated)
Mrs. Johnson: I sight you o...

Lola was just there resting her back on the fence and operating her phone. It’s an IPhone 6s. I knew she was already bored, but who sent her to follow me... Lol...

Mr. Johnson: Wesley! Sit down here (pointing his finger to the chair adjacent to him). I won’t take you time. I also have somewhere to go.
Me: Okay sir.
Mr. Johnson: You said you wanted to learn software developing. Don’t you think it will disturb your preparation for your forth coming exams?
Me: Hmmm... Sir… I don’t think so… I’m very serious and determine if I’m doing more than one thing at a time sir. (I was so confident).
Mr. Johnson: okay. I know you. There is a software developing company beside “asbestos, along that Lagos-Abeokuta Way”. (He mentioned the name of the company and told me to make enquiry)
Me: Okay sir. I will check on them today.
Mr. Johnson: I will be passing that side, maybe I can drop you there
Me: (I immediately remembered Lola.. Yeee… I can’t just say she should be going) Okay sir.
Mr. Johnson: What of your friend? Will you leave her?
Me: No sir… That’s the area she lives. (I lied)

Lola was already coming closer when she heard Mr. Johnson talking about her… I immediately winked at her.

Me: (Standing up from the chair …still winking) let’s go Lola. He will be giving us a ride.
Lola: Yes… Okay… (Facing Mr. Johnson) Thank you sir. (God! This girl has got brain… “omo yi ja gan” I said to myself.. She really did as if that was where she lives)

Sister Lucy already went inside. I can perceive the aroma of her stew. “Maybe she was still cooking” I thought.

Mr. Johnson: Delight… Mo tin lo o (Yoruba – I’m leaving. His Yoruba isn’t fluent. He hails from Edo State,so he speaks Yoruba with Edo accent.) You want to tempt me with your food and I’m already late. Cook earlier next time.
Sister Lucy: (she rushed out holding a long spoon) (facing me) Tell him (referring to her husband) to eat before going.
Me: Is the food ready? (I asked as if I was a judged)
Sister Lucy: Almost
Mr. Johnson: (cuts in) you see… And she wants me to wait…

Lola was just smiling… I could see the beauty in her smile. This girl is damn beautiful!
We hopped into the car… I sat at the front seat as a first class passenger, beside the drivers seat while Lola sat at the owner’s corner or the back seat, We were still on the way and it’s almost 20 minutes we left Mr. Johnson’s house.

Mr. Johnson: Wesley, what’s your friend’s name?
Me: (silent. I expected her to talk herself)
Lola: I’m Lola sir. (She was just concentrating on her phone. I could see her from the side mirror of the car)
Mr. Johnson: Ohh… Lola. Okay.

After another 30 minutes, we got to the company. I thanked Mr. Johnson for the ride, he told me to call him about any information I get and he zoomed off.

We had to walk a little forward to pass through the gate of the company. Passersby were just staring at me… ahn...ahn... Is it because of the fine girl I’m walking with? Lola wasn’t even concerned… She wasn’t just talking to me…
We got to the gate of the company, and what surprised me was when the gate man started saying “O boy… you dey try o…”

Gateman: Welcome… (Facing Lola and I)… Fine girl, you no even answer us (Lola was just busy operating her phone)
Me: No mind am jare… She dey vex for me.
Gateman: (opening the gate) Wetin you do for this princess?
Lola: No mind am jare…
Me: (smiling… God... Because of the beauty of a girl… See how they gave me respect. Don’t think I have low self-esteem. I know I’m very handsome too... *winks)

I asked the gateman for the company’s receptionist…, he directed me. So, we entered.
It’s almost 10 minutes and we were waiting while Lola voiced out. I thought she wouldn’t talk to me. ***Mtcheeeew

Lola: What do you come here for?
Me: Just watch...
Lola: You know you wasted my time already… Anyway, I caused it…, I shouldn’t have followed you.

“Mr Wesley, you can go in” the receptionist interjected. I told Lola to wait that I will be back soon… She even threatened to leave… but after lots of pleading…, she later agreed.

Me: (facing Lola… while I was leaving…) that’s my girl. (I blew a kiss)
Lola: You are not serious… (I knew she was blushing…)

I went inside spoke with the M.D of the company, we talked for a while and he charged me a huge amount to learn the software developing… I collected his contact and promised to call him soon. (I hope my mum agrees to pay sha)…

I left his office and headed for the receptionist’s office. Lola was really bored…. I noticed!!!

Me: I’m sorry dear.
Lola: What’s up with the kiss you blew at me when you were leaving?
Me: (I was like… Shey she didn’t like it ni? Or have I passed my boundaries) Ohhh... I’m sorry.
Lola: (She looked at me with this sexy look, not minding the question) since you are done let’s go.
Me: Yes... Okay.

I knew Lola was in love (*wink) but LOVE ISN”T STUPID. (She should just go the right way). She held my hands while we walked out of the gate. Like seriously, I was shy. But wait… I’m beginning to like Lola… Someone pls... Help!


Read Episode 8 for the continuation. What really happened while we were on the way?


Written By: Wesley
Edited By: John Writes

My First Girlfriend – My Life Story
(Episode 6)

Love is not stupid! Most people believe if you are in love, you may have to behave stupid. I totally disagree with that idea, Personally, if I’m really in love with a girl, I wouldn’t think twice on retaining my values and integrity. Every One has got values in different priority rankings.
Most ladies, no. Most girls especially, will task and multi task the guy before they will come up with this cliché (Now even a Motto among females), “I WILL THINK ABOUT IT” even though they literally have nothing to think about. If you have feelings for him, say yes! If not, say No! As simple as that, that doesn’t make you cheap. It means you know what you want. Lot of girls feel “Playing Hard to Get” (as people say) won’t make them look cheap. As a matter of Fact, You can be cheap, no. You can be cheaper if you are “playing hard to get”.
**Yes! I’m using girls instead of Ladies because people who should be called ladies are mature girls. And I don’t expect a mature girl, i.e. a Lady to behave like this**
Every responsible girl (I mean Responsible Ladies) have got her price that a guy has to pay for. But “playing hard to get” makes me as a guy feel you are the same with other girls (and sorry... I won’t want you again! I love unique girls). If you are a girl or guy, and you are in love with someone, walk up to the person and SPEAK YOUR MIND.

It was about 6PM. I went to my mum’s room, she was already asleep. Hmmm… Nobody to talk to…
I would have loved to speak with Mabel, but anytime I call her on phone, her reception makes me feel weird sometimes. It’s like this girl doesn’t like me. I concluded within myself that I will stop calling her or chatting with her unnecessarily again (hmmm, Can I really do that?).
I have to start preparation to visit Mr. Johnson very early tomorrow morning… I took my cloth from my box to press them. The moment I got out of my room, there was disruption of power supply. I did not notice until when I plugged in the iron to the socket.
Me: Ahn ahn… They don take light ni? (Permit that English... I speak Creole(pidgin English)when I’m alone or sometimes with my friends)
What should I do now?.., ok.. Let me call Lola...
That was the first time I will be calling her. She didn’t pick up, so I decided to take a rest (I hate wanting to sleeping during the day and even at night but when I’m already asleep, I love it).
Ghrrhh.. Ghrrhh… My phone was Vibrating (I do set my phone to vibration any time I get bored to the maximum level.. winks)
I started looking for my phone on my bed side... Where did I drop this phone sef? I quickly got out of bed to get it. (It was still vibrating). Ohh. I didn’t put it on the bed as I thought.., I left it on my laptop, on the desk.
It was Lola.., I actually saved her with “GBG” meaning “Good Bad Girl. *lol. I was about picking her call when this thought came up… “Wait… is the girl trying to form for me? Why didn’t she pick my call the other time?”
Okay… I sluggishly picked the call… (You don’t expect me to start talking first.)
Me: (silent)
Lola: (Silent)

Nobody wants to talk abi... okay now…

Lola: Hello Wesley, I missed your calls
Me: No… I only called you once
Lola: yes… I knew. I didn’t say you called me more than once.
Me: So… Why calls? You should have said call… not calls.
Lola: Okay sir. I’m sorry. But is it bad if you called more than once?
Me: Ehhnnn... It’s not a problem... But... Never mind sha.
Lola: So... What’s up?
Me: Why didn’t you pick my call? I thought we were perfect match.
Lola: (silent)
Me: Hello Lola…

Paaaoun… (That was the sound that came out of my phone... The call ended)

Me: (still placing the phone on my ear) Yeeepa….. This girl hanged up on me sha… Wait… who does she think she is? (Still talking to my self) Okay… I know what to do… (It was just an empty talk. I didn’t actually have anything to do)

I was really mad with what she did..., I switched off my phone, gently threw it on the bed and went out of the house.

I was in our compound, doing some rap freestyles alone… (I always feel myself) when I heard some kids on the street shouting “UP NEPA”… Who the hell still shouts “Up Nepa”? Don’t think I live in a local place o... it’s just that some people who live there are local (*winks).

If not because of those kids’ shouting, I wouldn’t have known the power has been reinstated. (lol… and I said they were local)… I rushed back inside (still muttering some of my rap freestyle) to ironed my cloth…

I already ironed my trousers. I was still on my shirt when the power was disrupted again… Geez! Bleep Nepa... Trust me now! I used the “remaining” running hotness of the iron for the other part of the shirt.
“I think it is okay like this” I said to myself after giving a semi-thorough glance at the shirt.

I decided to go back outside and continue my rapping skills when I bumped into wale and a strange guy (This face doesn’t look familiar. I haven’t seen him before). They already entered the compound and were about knocking when they saw me.

Me: Walezy! This one wey I see you today hope no problem?
Wale: I just dey jare (smiling)
Me: (facing the other guy) How far bro..? How you dey?
The strange Guy: Brother! I dey o.. I’m Dickson. (Stretching his hands towards me for an hand shake)
Me: (we shake hands) Ohh.. Nice name. Mr Dickson.. (I was like what kind of name is that?) I’m Wesley.
Wale: (still smiling and pointing his hand to me) this is D.G. ooo... The Director General... (Raising his hands up)
Me: (laughing) me... wey be small boy.

There were some plastic chairs outside (in the compound)… So… I offered them to sit. I sat in middle (as the boss.. *lol).

Wale: Wetin dey do your line na.. I call you before I start to dey come your house.., them dey talk sey switch off... (pidgin)
Me: No mind me jare… Na Lola they vex me.. (I said it jokingly)
Wale: Ahh... ahn.. (Laughing) No talk am joor. Lola no be that type of girl oo... Wetin she do?
Me: No worry sha…

Dickson was just there smiling to any funny thing Wale and I say while we shoot the breeze(converse), and operating his phone (He was using this Nokia X2-01). Actually…, he was chatting on 2go… (I remember when some people will be struggling for 2go star progress to attain the master stage *lol… especially Mr. Johnson’s Wife, Sister Lucy. Then they were just newly wedded).

Me: So… Wetin you guys get for me? (Facing Dickson)
Wale: Ehnn. D.S (I guess that’s the acronym for Dickson), you know what? Explain to him so he understands better… (Now facing me) Asin Wesley. He wants to open a website.
Dickson: Yep... (Forming with his ascent).. I wanna open a website for downloading games, music, and stuffs like that... Just like... ehn.. Naijloaded. (“Shey naijaloaded na downloading site ni?” I said to my self)
Me: (facing him with a confusing look) you want to open a website for downloading or you want to open a site like naijaloaded.
Dickson: Asin... (Now talking freely) Site for downloading but it should be like naijaloaded.. (Na wa with this covetousness... Can’t you make it look like your own? Naija Brain sha..)
Me: (smiling) try to be unique bro… You are already contradicting yourself... If your site is like naijaloaded, why will I visit your site when naijaloaded is still available and popular? Try to be unique. (I did lots of advising there)
Wale: (Smiling) that’s Wesley talking.
Dickson: Okay... I need a downloading site...

I told him the cost, explained the concept to him, we exchanged numbers and he promised to call me as soon as he is ready.

After few minutes, they decided to start leaving for their homes… I saw them off to the gate... And we bided Good Night.

Why was this episode started with “Love is not stupid!”? Read Episode 7 for that.

Thanks for reading

Written By: Wesley

My First Girlfriend – My Life Story
(Episode 5)

Mr. Johnson, a family friend has been someone who has been a great and a nice man especially to my family when my dad was alive and even after his death. He is an Engineer. I mean “An Educated Engineer”. I’m sure he will be in his 30’s. He knows the nuts and bolts about technology. I decided to call him about the issue of learning Software developing, which I discussed with my mum earlier. I was in an haste to learn this thing (Software Developing). If it was possible to start learning it that very day, I wouldn’t mind.

Grrrhhh... Grrhhhh…. “Won fe dami duro… Emi omo baba olowo” (His phone was ringing. His ring back tune was “Omo baba Olowo” By Davido)
I called him the first time, he wasn't picking up... I decided to call him again, and for the last time since I don’t like people seeing too much of my missed calls on their phone (it’s not pride, I just feel it makes me look irresponsible and look like someone who has lots of time to waste especially). Thank God! He picked up the second time…

Mr. Johnson: Hello Wesley?
Me: Good Evening sir!
Mr. Johnson: Please, I am driving right now... I would like to call you back.
Me: Ok sir. I will be expecting your call. Bye!

That man, Mr. Johnson has always been good! I mean good. I guess he is an God sent angel to my family. The problem I only have with him is that “HE IS ALWAYS BUSY” (though that shouldn’t be a problem). I can say I haven’t seen a man after my dad as busy as he is.

I immediately went to my room, pulled off my trousers (I’m always comfortable wearing only boxers at home) and decided to write some rap songs. Gush... I’m talented in writing Rap Songs too, especially with Satanic Rhymes (I hope this talent isn’t from Satan sha). I enjoy doing it a lot but I haven’t gone to a studio to record especially because of the environ (smoking, drinking and other anti social vices, I was a good boy... No.., I am a good boy *winks).
I took the book where I document my rap lyrics from my book rack, opened a fresh page and waiting for inspirations from above… lol.

Who or what should I rap about oo...? Oh... Mabel, she has been my crush since my junior secondary school. I really like her even till now. Her middle name is “Ochuole” which made me laugh anytime I remember her. She hails from Benue State.

Ok... I will rap about Mabel. I will write a love Rap.with a lots of thinking and corrections, I ended up with this:

Hmmmm... Eyo! Eyo!! (nodding my head like an Agama lizard)
Eyo! Eyo!! (still nodding my head)
The truth is what I’ve gat,
I weep for you day and night,
I need someone who will touch me and hold me close and tight,
I think you are the person,
Just take this as a lesson,
Anytime we make mistakes, we take it as a mere sin
I know when you’re happy,sad and when you’re vexatious,
I love the way you smile
Let’s make it “You and I”
Many flowers and roses I promise I will buy
Just trust and believe me that I won’t tell a lie,
I will take you to places where you’ve never been
You will be my letter A and no one next to B*

Waoh! Great! I wasn’t feeling myself much though, I decided to play an online video game, "Platformer". This game which involves guiding an avatar to jump between suspended platforms and over obstacles or huddles to advance the game. It’s interesting, I mean interesting. I just spend lots of data playing it.

Ohh... My laptop is kind of dusty, I wiped the dust on it with my hands (Don’t think I am a dirty boy o... I was just in haste to play this game). I opened the laptop (I do place it on my bedroom side desk for comfortability), pressed the power button and waited while it boot. I use an Acer Aspire laptop.

Grhhhh. Grhhh... My phone was ringing… it was Mr. Johnson.
I tried picking up when I heard my mum was calling me.

Gush... Which one will I answer now? Mummy or Mr. Johnson? I took my phone (it was still ringing), I immediately ran to my mum’s room as if I was this good and obedient boy (don’t think I’m bad though... lol)

Me: Mummy, What did you say? You were calling me?
Mum: Yes! What kept you longer?
Me: Was I late ni? Ok... Am Sorry ma... What do you want to say? (By this time, my phone had already stopped ringing, the call had ended)
Mum: yea. Go to the refrigerator and bring the Apple Juice there for me
Me: (Starred at her for few seconds, raising my eye lids) so... that was why you allowed me to miss Bro Johnson’s call abi? (My family calls him Bro Johnson most of the time)
Mum: ohh… Sorry. Why was he calling?
Me: (I didn’t even answer her. I went to the refrigerator to take the juice. I didn’t know there were up to three different drinks inside. I would have at least taken one before my mum came back from work. Now, she will want us to share one. I can’t start checking them one by one to get an apple drink. My eyes went to the one at the middle, they drew apple on the carton, I grabbed that, closed the door of the refrigerator and headed for her room) this is it ma. (I dropped it on the bed’s side stool and went straight to my room.)

This game is even still there… Gaming spirit wasn’t in me anymore.., so I shut down my laptop and decided to flash or maybe call Mr. Johnson since I missed his call earlier on. How did he know I was ready to call him? Because it was immediately my phone started ringing… He was the one, Mr. Johnson. What a great coincidence.

I picked the call and the following conversation ensued:

Me: Good Evening Sir. (It was already 4:52 PM)
Mr. Johnson: How are you Wesley? I was driving when you called.
Me: Yes sir. You said so.
Mr. Johnson: is Anything the matter? (He said it confidently like he was ready to help… no matter what. I knew he could)
Me: Sir, I’ve been staying at home for a while now which I am not comfortable with and I have made up my mind to learn Software Developing. (I said shyly) I don’t know where I can learn it sir.
Mr. Johnson: Hmm... Okay Wes. Come to my house tomorrow
Me: When sir? What time sir? (If I don’t ask, I will only go to his house and meet his house alone, and maybe his wife... *lol... I might not meet his presence)
Mr. Johnson: Ehn... I will be going to Ikeja tomorrow. Come early as possible. Come by 8am. Yes. You will meet me. (As if he already knew the question I had in mind)
Me: Okay sir... Thank you sir.
Mr. Johnson: What of mummy?
Me: She is fine sir…
Mr. Johnson: is she back from work?
Me: Yes sir. She's back.
Mr. Johnson: Greet her for me o
Me: Okay sir. Help me greet sister Lucy (That’s his wife… I think she also backs her husband up with lots prayer that’s why his business is booming ***just saying sha)
Mr. Johnson: Okay... I will. (Not up to a second, he then asked) EHn… Wesley, when is your jamb exams?
Me: I think next year March or April (then, we were in the middle of the month, November 2015)
Mr. Johnson: I hope you have registered for it
Me: yes sir... But I haven’t completed the registration
Mr. Johnson: Okay… No problem. Bye.
Me: yes sir, bye.

At least, we ended the call. We talked for a while oo…. It was already 5:17 PM. Let me quickly rush to my mum’s room before she finishes that drink o...

Me: (After taking just a step to go to my her room, I decided not to go again) No… I won’t go jare. I will take a whole bottle if she finishes it.. (that’s the brain… I won’t let her notice me until she finish the juice so that she won’t remember to remain for me… then I can freely take a whole drink too.. *winks)

Edited by John Writes
Thanks for reading…

Read more on Episode 6

My first girlfriend - My Life story
(Episode 4)

My mum was about going to her bathroom to take her bath (she just got back from work) when I started the conversation. She had to sit back on her bed to listen to me.. Yes.. That's my mum for you, since it's not about asking for money.

Mum: So what do you want to tell me dear?
Me: (I shifted closer to her like a guy about to propose to his lady) You see mummy.., I want to learn something o.. I can't just be staying at home. My life is wasting
Mum: (with an unsatisfactory look) Don't say that again. Your life won't waste.
Me: mummy, I know what I'm saying..

After about half a second of silent in her room, she broke the silent with

Mum: OK.. What do you want learn? Have you thought about it? Be fast I have to take my bath already
Me: sure na.. See mummy.. I want to learn software developing

Actually, I have great passion for the internet and technology from a very young age. I already started creating websites. I was 11 years old when I had my first blog (www.wesleypro.net) for technology information. It was financed by my dad but I couldn't run it well then.., I guess because of my young age and school activities. Also, at the moment, I had a News/Media website where I post daily news and events happening, www.direct360news.com. it was fun for me then.

Developing static websites with html and css, with little javascript wasn't just enough for me. I wanted to solve problems with software and be like Mark.

I already made Mark Zuckerberg my mentor ever since I read about him on his Wikipedia page.

Mum: But you already know how to create websites. You did daddy's own. And he loved it. (I was the who created my dad's company website. He was really surprised his son can do what he has been paying people to do for him. I became one kind of hero in my family *lol)

I have to explain to my mum to understand what I meant about software development.

Me: See mummy.. Creating Websites is different from programming software to solve human problems.

Mum: hmm.. Ok

Me: okay see.. (I tried explaining better) Website sometimes doesn't "solve problems".. It only does what the owner want in mind but a software helps businesses, firms and individuals to get mechanical job done on a computer by solving a problem and making things efficient. Though It can sometimes be incorporated into a website.

Mum: hmm.. OK.. (I knew she didn't really understand what I was saying)
So.. How do you start learning it?
Me: Ehn.. I will get information from people. But will you pay? (I knew the financial aspect is the important.. Learning software development and database management from a certified company is costly)

Mum: yes.. I will pay. Hope it's not too costly.. (she stood up heading for her bath room)

It's like my mum is really interested... I was Happy.. I didn't even answer her question deliberately. I was like if it's costly, you have to pay for this one..

While I was still thinking of who to get information from..

I started hearing this Tecno sound from my phone. (I almost forgot my phone's ringing tone. I'm even tired of this phone sef.. I need an iPhone *winks)

Ohhh.. It's my phone ringing.. I left it in my back pocket earlier..

08179057XXX... That was the telephone number I saw on my screen.. I didn't have this contact on my phone..

Who is this sef? I immediately picked up the call..

Mum: (still in the bathroom) Wesley, who is calling me?
Me: mummy.. It's not your phone na. is that your ringing tone? Nawa o(I don't just know how blackberry ringing tone corresponds with Tecno's)

Now consecrating on the caller..

Me: sorry jare.. Who is this?
Caller: How are you Wesley? (it was a feminine voice)
Me: Who is this? I've got no time for jokes (I'm rude especially to unknown callers who keep me in the dark from knowing them immediately)
Caller : you gave me your number earlier today. It's Lola.
Me: Ohhh.. Lola.. I just left you in an hour time and you are already calling. Anyway, I'm fine.. You?
Lola: Were you busy? Sorry for disturbing. We can talk later

Jesus! This girl's voice is damn sweet on phone.. Even more than the way she talks normally..

Me: (i immediately changed my voice to the Americana's own.. *winks) Wait na Lola.. Are we fighting ni? I wasn't busy. I was just suprised on how you called in just a little time range I left you and wale.

Lola: That's how I care for you.
Me: What do you say? (I pretended as if I didn't hear her)
Lola: Never mind dear (which one is dear again? My body was just fidgeting.. Lol.. This beautiful girl called me dear..)

"Wait sef... What's the big Deal if she added dear? People even more than her have told me that before (I had this pride not to take people as angel, even if they deserve it) "


Me: okay then.. So.. What's up with you? Are you computer inclined? (I wanted to ask her about the software issue)
Lola: Nope.. Though I have a laptop.. I Can operate it but not very good with it. Why do you ask?
Me: Never mind
Lola: hmm... (she sighed). I am just forcing my self for one course,"introduction to computer science" in school.. I don't really like computer related courses.
Me: okay ma'am. So anything else to say?
Lola: orrrn.. Do you go out for parties? (she said it slowly)
Me: Actually I go for only weddings and burials that my parent is aware of
Lola: (laughing really hard) hmm.. So.. You are omo get inside (it means a child that has full protection from his or her parents)
Me: anyway, that's what you think. But I'm just a Good bad guy too. (I was just mimicking her)
Lola: so.. We really matched then.
Me: Maybe.. I will talk to you later (my mum was already coming out of the bathroom. I can hear the sound of her walks with her bathroom foot wear, slippers)
Lola: when will that be?
Me: (teasing her) when next you call.
Lola: Really? OK.. I will call you at night
Me: make it the time my head is on the pillow
Lola: You aren't serious.. How will I know that?
Me: Since we are perfect match, you should know (teasing her)
Lola: Ohhh.. Wesley.. You are just...
Me: (cut in) Lola.., bye.. We talk later
Lola: okay bye.. And don't forget to save my number. this is my Etisalat number. Me: (I was like why are you telling me?) OK.. OK.. bye �

I ended the call.., this girl spoked with me for almost 5 minutes on phone.. Waoh... I dont think she really needs money from me.. Maybe she just like me sha..

Another thought came up.. "hmm.. Hope this girl isn't trying to destroy my ambition and destiny.. (I have always been a guy of determination with no or little obstacle).. No way... I'm not interested in relationships until I get to tertiary institution.." I concluded within myself.

Should I fall for Lola?
What do you guys think?

Continue reading on Episode 5

My first girlfriend - my life story
(Episode 3)

Wale asked Haven't you gone to where your dad sent you?
I replied yes.. that's why I'm leaving
wale said to Lola, he had to run an errand for his dad.. you guys can see some other time..

There is something I have always loved about wale, he has got common sense, he knew I was running away.. so he covered me up

Lola said, hmm.. (looking at me with one type of bad look) what are you guys up to? I Know this game..
I said to her, what do you mean? (Wearing a serious look) Anyways.. I'm leaving
She said OK dear.. bye.
Wale winked at me and said I should Call him when I get home
Lola said facing wale, Are you his guardian? You can go, Wesley jare (now facing me)

I head for my house like a defeated champion. Geez! I don Bleep up oo.. Anyway na way sha, nothing spoil.

After few minutes of trekking.. I got to my house.., Gush.. the padlock has been unlocked.. that means mum is back.. I opened the gate.., she was still in the compound. She hasn't even entered and she is already plucking jute mallow(ewedu leaf) to cook for dinner .

I greeted her, ' mummy welcome'
She replied 'Ehn..' (looking at me with her side face) Where are you coming from? (I expected that question already because if she didn't ask, then she isn't an African mother)
I told her I Went to buy recharge card (Gish.. I'm not suppose to say that, I lied)
Mum Said, 'So.. you are using your food allowance to buy airtime abi. I won't give you money again.. you will only eat what is at home'
I said Ahn.. ahn.. is that a new law?

I didn't even wait for her to respond.. I went inside., jumped on the sofa at the sitting room, and decided to take a nap..

I couldn't sleep. different thoughts were just running through my mind,what have I been doing with my life? just stay at home, eat, sleep and wake up.. " I have to change my life style "I said to my self.

my mum entered... staying at the door, she said "Wesley, so you can't even carry what I bought to the kitchen. and you will say you want to eat abi"I replied Grudgingly Ohhh.. God.. I'm coming

I went outside, carried the bag. it wasn't that heavy. I didn't even mind checking what was in it..(I knew it cant be more than few rows of tomatoes and maybe some pack of salts). my mum buys most of our cooking materials from wholesalers. I just felt she should have carried the bag inside her self..
I didn't even wait to see her, I started shouting , Mummy, mummy (she was already in her room)
I dropped the bag and left the kitchen for her room
I said mummy, I want to discuss something with you,

anytime I say something like this, she feel I want to ask for money. but it was a different case this time.

mum in her replies(she started saying story I have heard countless time)said, My son, you know I'm the only bread winner in this house. No family.. No body.. no..
I interject saying mum it's not money I want to ask for na

Actually, I'm the only son in my family., my elder sister is in the university studying business administration and my younger sister just graduated to senior secondary school. I lost my dad a year before I wrote my waec, I was 15 years old when he passed on.. very painful tho, I wouldn't want to talk about it. My mum is a vice principal in a government school in Lagos state.


What do you think I wanted to ask for? Lol.. Try guessing


Read Episode 4 for that and more

My first girlfriend - My life story (Episode 2)
Lots of thoughts came up as I continue thinking about what wale has in mind. It wasn’t a big deal though.. But I hate being in suspense especially when the person doesn’t feel what he has done (by putting me in suspense).
Is wale trying to take me to an eatery? (he knows I love eateries a lot) or is he inviting me for a video game? No.., it cant be. I will almost kill him if that’s the reason. Or wait, is he trying to joke with me? Those are the thoughts that came to my mind while I was strolling with my headphone � on my neck.. I’m always shy listening to music on the road.
I branched to a nearby Shop beside Wale’s house to get recharge card. Etisalat, to be precise. I bought 200 naira own.. I wanted to subscribe for 20mb. I hate being disconnected from the internet (at least I’m not working.. )
Wale, who saw me from far kept on shouting my name.. Wesley! Wesley!! Wesley!!!.
He knows I hate that.. I am shy in lots of things… which made me hate lots of things too.. I hate it when someone calls me loud in the street.. I faced him with a smiling face in pretense as he was already closer to me.
Wale: How far director general? (people call me that because I have a so-called company which doesn’t even have any physical existence. Lol. I know I will have my company one day)
Me: so.. what’s the thing you said you want us to do? (I didn’t answer his greetings because I was really angry with him .. Yes.., angry)
Wale: wait na.. Make we go my house.
We both headed to his house. His house is in the third compound after that shop.
He kept on saying something that I wasn’t even listening too.. This time I already placed my headphone on my head listening to music since we weren’t that visible from the street. He got a little upset and said..
Wale: I arrange one babe for you o
Me: (I tried removing only one side of the headphone from my ear to listen to what he was saying) Wetin you talk? (I asked as if I wasn’t interested)
Wale: you better remove that headphone.. I said I got one babe for you.
Me: (laughing)
Wale: serious oo.. You go see an now..
Me: you omo pastor. No dey wyne jare.

As I raised my head, I saw this beautiful girl. Did I just qualified her with just an adjective.. Oh.. No..! I saw this “physically endowed”, “bright”, Prince Charming, exquisite and lovely (I haven’t even spoken to her) girl. Obviously, she will be older than me. Wale’s age mate.. I guess. ( I move along with people older than me. I think because of my stature and my intelligence.. *winks )

I started forming jagaban.. Nodding my head to the music that’s not playing on my headphone (I already stopped the music when I wanted to listen to Wale)
So. . I moved closer to her..
Chai! What kind of perfume is this?
I didn’t even wait for wale to do any introducing…
Me: Hello pretty! You look really gorgeous.. (she wasn’t even wearing a dress �.. She was wearing a denim trouser and an armless top)
The girl (lola): Ohhh.. Thanks. Are you Wesley?
Me: (I looked at her with a surprise gaze as if I don’t know who told her my name) .. Yep. I’m Wesley. It’s nice to meet you
The girl (Lola) : I’m Lola. Same too.
Me: nice name.. There is something special about your name. (anytime I am with beautiful girls, I sometimes “misbehave” positively which opens my brain wide.. *lol)
Wale was just there smiling, looking down at his feet. Only god knows what he kept there.
Lola: (smiling) what’s that?
Me: To me, Lola means “long lasting”. ”LO” for long and “LA” for lasting.. So.. I guess our friendship will be long and lasting (I was like where did I get these things from? Which friendship? You have started saying rubbish abi)
Lola: Ahh.. (laughing really loud)..
Me: (this girl should like me.. At least I made her laugh on our first meeting ) (smiling too)
Lola: you know what? **
Wale: I have to leave you guys ( wale cuts in) . Let me wash my dad’s car.. I’m at the backyard. (as he was going, he winked at me .)

Shineke !!! This guy set me up Abi.. How will I talk to this girl, Lola now? I Don’t know what type of girl she is.. Maybe childish talk or should I just ask random questions like “shay o le swim”? Lol.. Though she looked mature.
Me: it’s been long I saw some girl beautiful like you.
Lola: really? Please stop all these flattering (facing me with a strict face)
Me: Ohhh.. Sorry.. I just meant it.. I don’t hide the truth.
Lola: (she tried to stop a smile).. OK thanks.. It’s okay.
Me: can I meet you?
Lola: sure

She did all the introduction. From what she said, I could say she doesn’t have a boyfriend.., she is in university of Lagos studying accounting 100l. She has a phobia for large crowd.
Lola: I study accountancy in unilag.
Me: Ohhh.. Nice.. I hope you aren’t a bad girl.
Lola: maybe sha.. But the good bad girl
Me: (this girl must be falling for me o but how do wale know my taste of girls.. ) Ehn.. I’m not yet in school (I said it shyly)
Lola: don’t worry.., wale told me everything..
So.. I became bold to ask questions as a guy now but hope this girl is not looking for the money from me. (me wey still dey collect pocket money from maale (my mum) ).
Me: I wouldn’t be able to talk for long.. I have to start going.
Lola: (smiling) so soon?
Me: yes… I didn’t plan staying long..
Lola: (still smiling) I was there when wale called you. I told him to do so after he told me about you and showed me your pic.
Yeee . My lie has been exposed.. Ehnn not too bad.. Ehn . I will tell her I just want to go home..
Me: Ohhh.. That’s it? He got me here for a mini date?
Lola: anyhow you think. (angry)
Me: okay bye .. ( I hope I’m not sending a wrong impression.)
Lola: whatever.. can I have your number?
Geez! This girl must be stubborn..
Me: 08182XX5675 (I have been using this number since jss 2. yes.. I mean it)
Lola: won’t you tell your friend you are going?
I had already forgotten wale sef.. My aim was to leave that compound immediately..
Me: (in my mind, I was saying Wesley you just get mouth.. You know sabi anything Joor ..) wale.. Wale.. I don dey ex o (I’m leaving) ..
**wale ran out*
Watch out for episode 3 an please comment.
Thanks

(Episode 1)

Boredom is what youth of these days hate.. Except the ones who claim to be a devoted Christian and have learnt to live with it. By the way.., I don't think a Christian should suffer from this evil, Boredom.

One faithful morning.., I found my self walking aimlessly from my room, to the sitting room, to my mum's room to the kitchen doing nothing. "I hate this type of life joor" I said to my self.. Actually I just finished my senior secondary school and I have to wait at home for next year's jamb because I couldn't write jamb that year due to an incident that happened. On the other side, my parent doesn't want me to work.. They feel it's better I learn something tangible during this so called long holiday that I myself don't know when I will finish. "I have to gain admission o next year o. I wrote my waec once.. I will write my jamb once too" I started repeating these words to my self like a mad man.

I was deep in thought until I heard a sound from my Tecno H3 phone..

Grhhhh... Grhhhh.. (phone ringing)

I ran to my room to grab my phone like someone expecting the result of his HIV test.

Gush.. It is wale. He is just a church member. His house isn't that far from my house too.

Me: Hello, who is on the line? {I deliberately did that, which has almost gotten used to me.. Cos I have this sexy voice on phone that look like an Americana's)
Wale: hey Wes, you no even safe (save) my number {he has this Ibadan-like sound)

Me: Hello, who is on the line? {I repeated it as if I couldn't recognize his voice }
Wale: Wesley, it's me, wale na..
Me: Ahh.. Walezy {I fondly call him that}.. How far na.. How your side?
Wale: I just dey o.. {this reply is so rampant among today's youth }.. You nko?
Me: things just dey boring here o.. Make I no lie.. Boringness dey kill me here o..
Wale: Shey you fit show for my house? Make we run some things?
Me: I never baf (taken bath) oo..
Wale: will you come?
Me: okay no problem. I will come..

I ended the call.

I rush to the bathroom, opened the cubicle and jumped into the bath basin to take my bath. At least I have gotten someone to make my day today. Wale is someone who meant all his words. So. I believed him.

About 20 minutes later, I was out of the bathroom.. Still thinking what this guy, wale has in mind. I took my phone to play music while I dress up. Scrolled and scrolled the music list until I got one song, actually my favorite, "Love me like you do" by ellie. I continued dressing up while I kept nodding my head to the song and muttering out the part I know best especially the chorus.

"What does wale want us to do?" I kept asking my self this question.. I got out of the house, wanting to lock the door when I noticed I didn't take my keys..

I ran back inside, got the keys, locked the door.. I was still in the compound when I realized I didn't even look at the mirror..

Gush.. One thing I'm always concern about on my body.. Is my face.. Hmm.. My face must be presentable and okay.. I just went ahead to mum's car, shifted the side mirror towards me., bending a little to check out my face.. Thank God I had an alternative than going inside the house back.

"hmm.. Fine boy! " I was saying this in my mind. I gave my self a thumbs up � locked the gate and headed for Wale's house.