Winneygirl:

in my bank, intrabank transfers are free. Interbank transfers below 500k attracts N52.50k. Email alerts are free.

Please what is the name of your "my bank"?

nl.official:
Use email alert instead, you won't be charged. Also, it will be very effective if you own a BlackBerry with BIS.

Oga email alert with Access Bank activates what they call "Electronic Channel Fee" of N100 per month. If you doubt it, call them and find out.

Who says email alert is free Access bank will charge you N100 every month termed "Electronic Channel Fee" if you get email alerts on your account. I am considering digging a trench in my backyard to keep my money.

ShalomNigeria: I have been asking people around me if the description of Savings account has change in Nigeria. I bank with GT and ACCESS and gt don't have any of these 'systematic robbery' charges like ACCESS. On my ACCESS IPSA account, they charge me electronic channel fees of N100 sometimes twice in a month (as in January 2013) and another monthly account maintenance charge of N200. Apart from these charges, they also deduct sms alert charge. Can somebody please tell me if these deductions exist outside the shores of Nigeria?

I get the same nonsense charges from Access Bank and I will go any length to make sure I get all that money back. They are a bunch of criminals.

In the United States, you are told upfront what your options are regarding accounts and you make your choice accordingly. If it is a free account with conditions attached (like amount of withdrawals as it is in Nigeria or direct deposit) you will know what will trigger any charges BEFORE you open the account. Anything otherwise is illegal and no bank will try it but in Nigeria, there are no regulations and anything goes. If I had the ears of the Central Bank governor, I would report Access Bank so that all these nonsense will stop across all banks in Nigeria.

ACCESS BANK is the most useless bank in Nigeria. They keep introducing useless charges to people's accounts - this month it will be "electronic channel fees", the next it will be "alert fees", or "account maintenance fees". Been banking with FCMB and so far, I have been impressed with their services and fees (when applicable).

If you have dollars in the United States and want naira in Nigeria, please call 08036754672 to discuss.

I really appreciate all your responses. You all are a great resource and basically mentioned just about every thought going through my head. I actually sent her this link so she can see public opinion on her action and reminded her that these are people who neither know me nor know her. I have decided what to do and my decision spans across a bunch of your suggestions. She definitely won't be surprised when I do whatever. This forum should still be here in the coming months and years so I will give you guys updates. Once more, I appreciate all your input and willingness to help a stranger.

Thanks for all your contributions.

@Outstrip; We have been together four years. The girl is a graduate.

@rokiatu: It's really not that easy. Keep in mind that I will most likely have to invest another few years in any new person to know if she's right for me like I did in this case.

@SharpMan; Yes every member of her immediate and extended family know me even though I'm not sure of the extent of their knowledge. Four years is not a short time you know. The problem with waiting is that I have waited two years from when we should've started the process and I feel like she's moving the goalpost. If I wait another X months/years, how am I not sure she'll chicken out again? In your opinion, how long more is a reasonable additional amount of time to wait?

Could age be a factor for her? She's in the early 20s and I'm in the late 20s.

That leads me to ask the question - what is the ideal age to get married for girls and guys?

@maclatunji; So what would you do if you were me?

What does "being on a long thing" mean?

@maclatunji; I do not see her saying no to that. I know she won't want to lose me. At the same time, I don't want to seemingly give her a marriage ultimatum. If it were that easy, believe me, I would've done it. I don't want to get it wrong. This is the rest of my life we're talking about here. I'm a very happy young man and would love to keep it that way.

@DaDoctor; Better put this way - I was the first and we have been together since then. Good enough?

@DaDoctor; Yes we do and I am the only one that has done that. Part of why walking away isn't easy.

I'm not someone who makes empty threats and if I have to have that conversation with her, I will walk away.

@maclatunji; I thought about that but that, to me, could appear like a desperate move from my end. I see it that if she says yes under such conditions, when there is a quarrel (which is inevitable) or things go wrong, I may be making all the effort to save the marriage cos she can claim I "forced" her to do it. Don't you think so?

@maclatunji; She knows everything.

@DaDoctor; All the previous handles I tried were taken. I just had to use WomanRapa cos that's what my friends tease me with because of her o! Nearly 5 years into the relationship and I still "wrapper" her. Could that be the problem?

@190; Be serious jare.

@stainny; I doubt if that's the problem. I'm worth 8 figures (=N= XX million) already and bring in an 8 figure annual salary. I believe I'm doing pretty well by all standards. Keep in mind that when we started, I was a dependent student and she stuck with me. I really wonder what the problem is.

I appreciate all your responses. It's really not that easy to walk away though.

I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over 4 years. We both talked about marriage about 2 years into the relationship and want to do it but even though I was ready, she didn't think she was. She said I should wait until she graduates from school which I did. Now she has graduated and we agreed on a date I will come and talk to her family about our intentions. A few weeks before the date, she told me that she's been waiting unsuccessfully to hear from God and that I need to wait until she hears from God. My people, wetin una think? I don wait more than 2 years and will not continue to wait indefinitely.