₦airaland Forum

LETTER FROM THE WIFE

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.


I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. It is you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.


P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife

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REPLY FROM HUSBAND

Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica! But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla (A GIRL!!!). I hope that's not a problem.


Signed Rich As Hell and Free

this trend must not die

I SEEM TO BE AT HOME WITH EVERYONE IN MY FIANCEE’S HOUSE
HER DAD, MUM AND SIBBLINGS ALL APPRECIATE MY PERSON.

BUT IN ALL THESE, I ALWAYS DO NOT FEEL CONFORTABLE WITH HER YOUNGER SISTER.
HER ACTIONS SEEM TO PORTRAY HER AS TRYING TO WIN MY ATTENTION.
SHE ALWAYS ENJOYS SITTING OPPOSITE ME, CLAD IN HER USUAL MINI SKIRT.
SHE PLACES HER LEGS IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN TRYING TO LOOK ELSEWHERE SO THAT I WILL NOT BE CAUGHT GAZING
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING, AND SHE NEVER SEEMS TIRED OF TRYING
INFACT, THE LAST THING I WILL WISH IS TO BE LEFT ALONE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER. AT LEAST NOT UNTIL AFTER MY WEDDING WITH HER SISTER WHICH COMES UP IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

THIS FAITHFUL DAY, JUST EIGHT DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING SHE SUCCEEDED.
I RECEIVED AN SOS CALL FROM HER, AND QUICKLY RUSHED TO THE HOUSE
THERE I MET HER, ALL ALONE IN THE HOUSE.
SHE GAVE ME A LONG HUG, AND TOLD ME SMILINGLY THAT EVERY ONE HAS GONE OUT!
AND THAT SHE HAS INVITED ME OVER TO ENJOY MY COMPANY, ‘AT LEAST BEFORE THE NUPTIAL NUT IS TIED’
I MADE UP MY MIND TO RESIST THIS AND LEAVE THE HOUSE IMMIDIATELY
WHEN SHE GRABBED ME, PLANTED A KISS ON MY FACE, AND LOOKED AT ME HUNGRYLY. AS IF THIS IS NOT ENOUGH, SHE MADE TOWARDS THE STAIRCASE,
WINDING HER WAIST LIKE I’VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE
I WAS MOROSE WHEN SHE GOT UP THE STAIRS, FLUNG HER UNDIES ON ME AND SHOUTED ‘COME ON OVER!’

MY MIND WAS NOW MADE UP AS I WALKED TOWARD THE FRONT DOOR
AND MADE TOWARDS MY CAR
TO MY SURPRISE, THE WHOLE OF MY INLAWS WHERE OUTSIDE THERE!
THEY WERE ALL CLAPPING AND HAILING ME
TEARS ROLLED DOWN THE EYES OF MY FATHER-IN-LAW’S AS HE HUGGED ME
AND TOLD ME WHAT A WONDERFUL INLAW I AM


MORALS OF THE STORY: ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOM IN YOUR CAR

i gbadun the joke. keep it up

see level

what am going to be

GOVERNMENT WORKER

plzzzzzzzz helpp me o, may i am still a sranger here. i want the "ELDERS" TO IDENTIFY THEMSELF If truly they are elders.

thanks guyz - SAM MILLA. MY NEW GUY. i hope u wil not removed my name from nairaland.

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the
brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from
Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the world's
best beer, a Corona."

The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it
to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer
in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."

The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like
the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me
a Coors."

He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give
me a Coke."

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he
ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask,
"Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"

The Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't
drinking alcohol, neither will I."

Sam milla

u toooooooooooo much. funny

Sam milla will soon lev Narialand bcuz of me -

Employer's response:


Dear SAM MILLA,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check and besides, it's never too late to learn, you know

Tj-Tj

Resimay


Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik with one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person,  Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

I'm lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job through my persinalety.  My salerery is open so we can discus what you want to pay me and what you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely.  Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly yore best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,

MISS SAM MILLA





PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.
.
.
.

make una help me find another JOB o

emi jasi

mo mo idi ti mo fe je omo dudu
gbogbo nkon ti olorun da, daradara ni
eru o le ba mi lai lai
moti mo reason ti mo ni ma ask why

ILE WA NI ILE WA
EMI O NI FI OWO OSE JUWE ILE BABA


SORRY - AM JUST TRYIN SUM RYTHMS

re-loading

WARNING TO SAM MILLA


Don't underestimate me

xammy - sammy - 1st N 2nd samuel - sam - Don't forget the name

i am back, SAM_MILLA don't tell me u r still reloadin

una never see anything

New wounder

Mary had been a widow for almost four years ago and still hadnt gotten out over the loss of her husband.Her daughter was constantly urging her to get back to dating and finally, Mary agreed to go out on a date but said she didn’t know anyone.Her daughter immediately replied:”Mama! I have someone for you to meet."



Well, it was an immediate hit. They really liked one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in the mountains.



Their first night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, while he is in his birthday suit.Looking at her he asked, "Why the black panties?"She replied, "My breasts you can handle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning”



The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit , except that he has a black condom over his erection.She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?"



He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

just try amd take a look at me, i kn want ur conclution will be.

MHMN - MOST HANDSOME MAN ON NAIRALAND

keep it coming

una never see anything?

part 3

part 2

u guyz want to kill me abi?

xammy - sammy - samuel. the best name within reach

my sweety,