₦airaland Forum

We appear to be in the same shoes except 4 i dated dis girl 4 3years though it was distant we saw like two times each year but i think its the most serious relationship i'll eva have we really luved n neva cheated on each oda (atleast am sure oof my side)  until 5weeks ago some annoyed me i stayed angry for days n while we were talking on fone i said things about our relationship (mainly religious issue) told her we needed to end it thats not the first tym we've both come up with such skepticisms but to my suprise this time we were both in agreement we needed to stop and since then evry thing changed ryth we no longer talk coz weneva i call she's always like "thanks for calling'" and it always hurt me deep coz its something i've been doing every day for the past three years. she switched off her fone some weeks back for like two to three day and i found out it was coz of me then i stopped calling shé does not call too. All i do is think of her but i know she does not want me anylonger and there's notin i can do about it even though i know i can neva stop lovin her but life has to go on. The bottom line is no matter how attached you are to people you just have to stay away wen they no longer want you doing odawise will cos you much more pain. I'll advise you just keep to yourself for now she does not want you let her go, move on concentrate on something else and dont rush into any other relationship DATS WAT I"VE BEEN DOING even though its hard you just need to know dat its important u move on u'll get over it sooner than you expect.

browsing on mobile has nevr been this intrestin am using opera n mtn to acess wap n its free

GUYS LOVE CHALLENGES THATS JUST THE FACT IF U WANT A GUY TO KEEP
COMING BACK U HAVE TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO ALWAYS FIGTH FOR!

*A Job Application*
------------------------------
*NAME:* George Martin

*SEX:* Not lately, but I am looking for the right
woman (or at least, one who'll cooperate).

*DESIRED POSITION:* Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.

*DESIRED SALARY:* $185,000 a year plus stock
options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

*EDUCATION:* Yes.

*LAST POSITION HELD:* Target for middle management
hostility.

*PREVIOUS SALARY:* A lot less than I'm worth.

*MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:* My incredible
collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

*REASON FOR LEAVING:* It sucked.

*HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:* Any.

*PREFERRED HOURS: *1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday,Tuesday,
and Thursday.

*DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:* Yes, but
they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

*MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:* If I had
one, would I be here?

*DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:* Of what?

*DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:* I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

*HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?:* I may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell
me.

*DO YOU SMOKE?:* On the job - no, on my breaks - no.

*WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:*
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb
sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now.

*DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND
COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:* Oh yes, absolutely.


*SIGN HERE:* Sagittarius

*DEFINITION OF KISS ACCORDING TO DIFFERENT PROF.*

*Prof. of Economics*

Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.


*Prof. of Accountancy *

Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.


*Prof. of Algebra*

Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.


*Prof. of Geometry*

Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.


*Prof. of Physics*

Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.


*Prof. of Chemistry*

Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.


*Prof. of Zoology*

Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.


*Prof. of Physiology*

Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of
contraction.


*Prof. of Dentistry*

Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.


*Prof. of Philosophy*

Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for
the old.


*Prof. of English*

Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper,
it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.


*Prof. of Architecture*

Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects


*Prof. of Computer Science*

What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
 Spades - King David
 Clubs - Alexander the Great,
 Hearts - Charlemagne
 Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

17. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

18. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

19. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

20. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey

21. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

22. A snail can sleep for three years.

23. All polar bears are left-handed.

24. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

25. Butterflies taste with their feet.

26. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

27. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

28. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

29. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

30. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

31. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

32. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

33. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

34. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

35. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

36. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

37. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

38. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

39. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

well the ladies can say for themselves if am lying
and those of u ladies who don't believe when you finally find the Mr rigth ask ur self this question,
WHY HASN' HE BE CHOSEN BY SOME ONE ELSE?

1.The nice men are ugly.

2.The handsome men are not nice.

3.The handsome and nice men are gay.

4.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think
ladies are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after ladies money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual,
don't think ladies are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think ladies are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat
nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some
money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move,automatically lose interest
when ladies take the initiative.

--
be real

almondjoy:
It does not hurt when we learn to use common sense. It only hurts when you use your heart instead of your head.

It should by 75%--of the head and 25% of the heart. Most people use 100% heart and 0% of the head. What do you expect?

Being in love does not mean 100% stupidity 24/7.

When you are in love, maturity means you learn to anticipate and understand certain things. You get to a certain stage in life and nothing should surprise you. So how can you get hurt even when you care?

Don't see how that can happen after you hit age 25! unless there is some serious developmental lag!

I feel you bro

my system's sound card seem to have no manufacturer name. does any one know how i can get a sound driver for it?

that pic is fake

[/quote][quote author=mailmalc link=topic=78074.msg1483557#msg1483557 date=1189504559]@x-reel

It's clear to all that u ain't gat the right attitude//
anyways that doesn't mean i'm totally mad @ u//
bt one more word from u nd i'll beat 7 shades of shit out of u//
A Zamfara dude who wants to battle?//
plz dn't waste others time nd your's go look after your f**kn cattle


X-reel, hope u feel ma lyrical steel

,

@theffanyi
Please when people dey spit jst sit down nd observe
or else who knows u go get wetin u deserve
like a fuel guage u don dey show reserve
ma flow stnds still nd urs is fallin because u jst aint gat d nerve

,

@larwee
Nairaland master of wacks //(lol)
i'm here to get u back on track//
dn't b scared u ain't hangin with drug dealers//
appropraite name 4 ma flows should be blood spillers//
Even if i place stacks of dough in front of u u can't even grab it//
There are much more differences b/w rats nd rabbits//
Kicking wacks ma f**king Habit//
benin gees yea i be reppin ma city//
nd still makin sure your ass get whooped till infinity//
dawg, i hope u be feeling me//
bring it on SUCK*R
,

@Obedz
You is an all time looser
dn't hate i ma still be your producer
your lyrics are all as useless as poo poo
tryn 2 contest me would certainly be a booboo
,

[color=Black]@HYBRID-X
Dn't think u gat d game when u are on the verge of gettin crushed
no disrespect brother i'm feelin ya[/color]

tryin 2 beef me is like pissin on an electrical barb wire
stop thinking u've got beef, u mite just be stepin on fire
u thinkin u married 2 rhymes? i'll b puttin asunder
i spit flows so tigt it makes u wonder
don't try 2 beef me because u would't like ma anger
when am done i'll leave your body danglin,
just like a piece of clothe that is being stuck on a hanger
i rep za town but still u all pose no threats,
because i get u all comitting lyrical blunders

point of corection this is not a beef thread
if want beef start a beef thread n holla at me
am guaranteed 2 get runin n hidin behind ur momma

am d king of this so bring my crown here.
am so unda ground d devil's been lyk wo's down there

Mode Nine
Malcolm ix

if u thuink u've got meaningful rhymes lets battle i repeat meaningful rhymes


if u wan beef u gonna need a jaw protector,
coz wen am done am sure gonna be leavin ur face wit a fracture
i drop flows dat send ur minds in 2 raptures
tryin to get up n break free wil ony coz u fractures
just lyk d devil am out am steadily luking 4 souls 2 capture

Dear Friends,

Please find below, the link to a letter of protest to Spanish Authorities by concerned Nigerians living in Diaspora on the needless, brutal and dehumanisig death visited on Mr. Osamuyia Aikpitanhi, a Nigerian Citizen in Spain.

In a bid to deport Mr. Aikpitanhi from Spain to Nigeria , We understand that Spanish law enforcement agents employed measures that were unreasonable, inhumane, illegal, and, ultimately, fatal. According to reports, Spanish law enforcement agents arrested Mr. Aikpitanhi, beat him, bound his hands and legs firmly with ropes, and put a gag over his mouth. The Spanish Officials then loaded him like an animal onto an Iberia aircraft bound for Lagos , Nigeria . Finally, the law enforcement agents covered him with a sack in order to prevent other passengers traveling on the aircraft from observing the undignified and inhumane manner in which Mr. Aikpitanhi was restrained. Mr. Aikpitanhi, a human being, was treated worse than an animal. Shortly after the aircraft became air borne, Mr. Aikpitanhi died. He died an inhuman death, bound, gagged and soiled in his own waste.

The time has come for us as Nigerians to say out loud to the whole world that we would no longer accept these types of treatments that has now become commonplace against our fellow citizens.

Please click on the following link to append your signature.

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/component/option,com_philaform/Itemid,195/form_id,1/

Furthermore, kindly help give this issue the publicity it deserves by forwarding this email to all your friends.

Dear Friends,

Please find below, the link to a letter of protest to Spanish Authorities by concerned Nigerians living in Diaspora on the needless, brutal and dehumanisig death visited on Mr. Osamuyia Aikpitanhi, a Nigerian Citizen in Spain.

In a bid to deport Mr. Aikpitanhi from Spain to Nigeria , We understand that Spanish law enforcement agents employed measures that were unreasonable, inhumane, illegal, and, ultimately, fatal. According to reports, Spanish law enforcement agents arrested Mr. Aikpitanhi, beat him, bound his hands and legs firmly with ropes, and put a gag over his mouth. The Spanish Officials then loaded him like an animal onto an Iberia aircraft bound for Lagos , Nigeria . Finally, the law enforcement agents covered him with a sack in order to prevent other passengers traveling on the aircraft from observing the undignified and inhumane manner in which Mr. Aikpitanhi was restrained. Mr. Aikpitanhi, a human being, was treated worse than an animal. Shortly after the aircraft became air borne, Mr. Aikpitanhi died. He died an inhuman death, bound, gagged and soiled in his own waste.

The time has come for us as Nigerians to say out loud to the whole world that we would no longer accept these types of treatments that has now become commonplace against our fellow citizens.

Please click on the following link to append your signature.

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/component/option,com_philaform/Itemid,195/form_id,1/

Furthermore, kindly help give this issue the publicity it deserves by forwarding this email to all your friends.

if i dont three lives are invovled and they are gonna perish

Plz i really need help here, Is it possible for one to abort a pregnancy using drugs? if yes what are the side effects. what other ways can any one suggest

Am gettin a little bit confused about somehting here, Is it possible for a girl to get pregnant even after seeing her period?

for me its surely gonna be cooking and polishing/lacing ma shoes

Well this is a girl talk, and as the sayin ggoes luv is blind i guessn most of u are in luv with TI but keep ur eyes wide open Luda is sure more handsome than TI

Can a contraceptive be of any use when it is taken one week after mating?
am really confused here luks like am in deep shit. if its too late wat can i do?

if u have the serial number send it as a text message to the phone thats if the person wit it is stupid enof to retain ur line

if u want beef i'll advice u go get a jaw protector
coz wen am done am sure gonna be leavin ur face wit a fracture

U are to type it on the phone not as the security code(just like the way u type *556#) it would give u some numbers use the numbers that's security code

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right
woman (or at least, one who'll cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock
options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible
collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday,Tuesday,
and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but
they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had
one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell
me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb
sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND
COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.


SIGN HERE: Sagittarius

Send urs to xrealla@gmail.com n see wats gonna happen to ur fone wen am done

If u are intrested give me ur email add i will get 2 u by the week end

try*#2640# let me know if it works(am sure it will) and mind the way u give info about ur fone to ppl this is a publicf forum. i can use ur IMEI code to destroy ur fone