₦airaland Forum

merzybenedict: ..sorry..,it's sense of humor i av nt that one of 'humour'..LOL !..Congratz 4 the no lecture stuff.,i guess na those small small uni. U dey.

Nope just a lecture free day. "humour" my bad

yes

hod898: Pray. Tell me this is not impersonation of the Queen... Don't over step your boundaries.

it's a joke don't u get, gosh u guys need to lighten up.

merzybenedict: Don't tell me you wasted all ur precious morning to put down this rubbish....bt wait,ASUU has resumd nw..y r u stil dng this ?..hmm

I saw dis somewhere and decided to share it dnt u have a sense of humour, u don't have to b serious all d time. FYI no lectures today

I don't think so cause dats wat I intend to major in. d only way u can get it is by studying mass comm and den u major in PR & advert.

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
To the citizens of the United States of
America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to
nominate competent candidates for
President of the USA and thus to govern
yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence,
effective immediately. (You should look
up 'revocation' in the Oxford English
Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
will resume monarchical duties over all
states, commonwealths, and territories
(except North Dakota, which she does
not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David
Cameron, will appoint a Governor for
America without the need for further
elections.
Congress and the Senate will be
disbanded. A questionnaire may be
circulated next year to determine whether
any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown
dependency, the following rules are
introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in
words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour'
and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn
to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half
the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be
replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally,
you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up
'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words
interspersed with filler noises such as
''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable
and inefficient form of communication.
There is no such thing as U.S. English.
We will let Microsoft know on your
behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will
be adjusted to take into account the
reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of
'-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated
as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal
issues without using guns, lawyers, or
therapists. The fact that you need so
many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not quite ready to be independent.
Guns should only be used for shooting
grouse. If you can't sort things out
without suing someone or speaking to a
therapist, then you're not ready to shoot
grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be
allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler.
Although a permit will be required if you
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with
roundabouts, and you will start driving on
the left side with immediate effect. At the
same time, you will go metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit
of conversion tables. Both roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand
the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices
on petrol (which you have been calling
gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get
used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips.
Those things you call French fries are not
real chips, and those things you insist on
calling potato chips are properly called
crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in
animal fat, and dressed not with catsup
but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on
calling beer is not actually beer at all.
Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will
be referred to as beer, and European
brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager.
South African beer is also acceptable, as
they are pound for pound the greatest
sporting nation on earth and it can only
be due to the beer. They are also part of
the British Commonwealth - see what it
did for them. American brands will be
referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine,
so that all can be sold without risk of
further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required
occasionally to cast English actors as
good guys. Hollywood will also be
required to cast English actors to play
English characters. Watching Andie
Macdowell attempt English dialect in
Four Weddings and a Funeral was an
experience akin to having one's ears
removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American
football. There is only one kind of proper
football; you call it soccer. Those of you
brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which has some similarities
to American football, but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds
or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing
baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game
which is not played outside of America.
Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is
a world beyond your borders, your error
is understandable. You will learn cricket,
and we will let you face the South
Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.
--------------------
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's
been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax
collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all monies due
(backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4
p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and
never mugs, with high quality biscuits
(cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries
(with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
PS: Only share this with friends who have
a good sense of humor.
I saw dis somewhere and decided to share it. very funny.

chidexxy007: holy shit... did i jst miss out on dat?.... abeg guy anytin like supplementary dy?

yes kinda just keep on checking d admission list for ur name

chidexxy007: hey peepz, can some1 plz hlp me wit info concernin PD @KSU..... Wen will it b out for sales, hw much z it n d rest...
thx

d exam is on d 15th and i think d sale of forms has ended.

Sheanoel: is it klose to school and how much is single room and light nd water

if u see light ur lucky as for water u have to buy. der are lots of available lodges in abuja area (self con) all Na money.

and so oya read dis and b enlightened
https://www.nairaland.com/1581019/indian-street-kids-start-own

saw dis stuff b4 anyway take a look at dis
https://www.nairaland.com/1581019/indian-street-kids-start-own

Wealth tends to create more wealth,
but a rich background is not the only
way to the top.
Some of the world's wealthiest people
started out dirt poor.
All from humble beginnings, these 15
people not only climbed to the top of
their industries but also became some
of the richest people in the world.
Although the rich do get richer, these
rags-to-riches stories remind us that
through determination, grit, and a bit of
luck anyone can overcome their
circumstances and achieve
extraordinary success.

15: Kenny Troutt: the founder of Excel
Communications, paid his way through
college by selling life insurance.
Net worth: $1.7 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
Troutt grew up with a bartender dad
and paid for his own tuition at Southern
Illinois University by selling life
insurance. He made most of his money
from phone company Excel
Communications, which he founded in
1988 and took public in 1996. Two
years later, Troutt merged his company
with Teleglobe in a $3.5 billion deal.
He's now retired and invests heavily in
racehorses.

14: Starbucks' Howard Schultz
grew up in a housing complex for the
poor.
Starbucks' Howard Schultz grew up in
a housing complex for the poor.
Net worth: $2 billion (as of Sept. 2013)
In an interview with British tabloid
Mirror, Schultz says: "Growing up I
always felt like I was living on the other
side of the tracks. I knew the people on
the other side had more resources,
more money, happier families. And for
some reason, I don't know why or how,
I wanted to climb over that fence and
achieve something beyond what people
were saying was possible. I may have
a suit and tie on now but I know where
I'm from and I know what it's like."
Schultz ended up winning a football
scholarship to the University of
Northern Michigan and went to work
for Xerox after graduation. Shortly
after, he took over a coffee shop called
Starbucks, which at the time had only
60 shops. Schultz became the
company's CEO in 1987 and grew the
coffee chain to more than 16,000
outlets worldwide.

13: Investor Ken Langone's parents worked
as a plumber and cafeteria worker.
Net worth: $2.1 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
To help pay for Langone's school at
Bucknell University, he worked odd
jobs and his parents mortgaged their
home. In 1968, Langone worked with
Ross Perot to take Electronic Data
Systems (HP) public. Just two years
later, he partnered with Bernard
Marcus to start Home Depot, which
also went public in 1981.

12: Born into poverty, Oprah Winfrey
became the first African American TV
correspondent in Nashville.
Net worth: $2.9 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
Winfrey was born into a poor family in
Mississippi, but this didn't stop her
from winning a scholarship to
Tennessee State University and
becoming the first African American TV
correspondent in the state at the age of
19. In 1983, Winfrey moved to Chicago
to work for an AM talk show which
would later be called The Oprah Winfrey
Show.

11: At one time, businessman Shahid Khan
washed dishes for $1.20 an hour.
Net worth: $3.8 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
He's now one of the richest people in
the world, but when Khan came to the
U.S. from Pakistan, he worked as a
dishwasher while attending the
University of Illinois. Khan now owns
Flex-N-Gate, one of the largest private
companies in the U.S., the NFL's
Jacksonville Jaguars, and Premier
League soccer club Fulham.

10: Mega-resort owner Kirk Kerkorian
dropped out of school in the eighth
grade to become a boxer.
Net worth: $3.9 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
To financially help his Armenian-
immigrant family, Kerkorian dropped
out of school in the eighth grade and
later would become a boxer called
"Rifle Right Kerkorian." During World
War II, Kerkorian worked for Britain's
Royal Air Force. He eventually turned
his interest to constructing many of Las
Vegas' biggest resorts and hotels.

9: John Paul DeJoria , the man behind a
hair-care empire and Patron Tequila,
once lived in a foster home and his car.
Net worth: $4 billion (as of Sept. 2013)
Before the age of 10, DeJoria, a first
generation American, sold Christmas
cards and newspapers to help support
his family. He was eventually sent to
live in a foster home and even spent
some time in a gang before joining the
military. With a $700 dollar loan,
DeJoria created John Paul Mitchell
Systems and sold the shampoo door-
to-door while living in his car. He later
started Patron Tequila, and now
invests in other industries.

8: Forever 21 founder Do Won Chang
worked as a janitor, gas station
attendant, and in a coffee shop when
he first moved to America.
Net worth: $5 billion (as of Sept. 2013)
The husband-wife team - Do Won
Chang and Jin Sook - behind Forever
21 didn't always have it so easy. After
moving to America from Korea in 1981,
Do Won had to work three jobs at the
same time to make ends meet. They
opened their first clothing store in
1984. Forever 21 is now an
international, 480-store empire that
rakes in around $3 billion in sales a
year.

7: Ralph Lauren was once a clerk at
Brooks Brothers dreaming of men's
ties.
Net worth: $7.7 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
Lauren graduated high school in the
Bronx, N.Y., but later dropped out of
college to join the Army. It was while
working as a clerk at Brooks Brothers
that Lauren questioned whether men
were ready for wider and brighter
designs in ties. The year he decided to
make his dream a reality, 1967, Lauren
sold $500,000 worth of ties. He started
Polo the next year.

6. Luxury goods mogul Francois Pinault
quit high school in 1974 after being
bullied for being poor.
Net worth: $15 billion (as of March
2013)
Pinault is now the face of fashion
conglomerate Kering (formerly PPR),
but at one time, he had to quit high
school because he was teased so
harshly for being poor. As a
businessman, Pinault is known for his
"predator" tactic, which includes
buying smaller firms for a fraction of
the cost when the market crashed. He
eventually started PPR, which owns
high-end fashion houses including
Gucci, Stella McCartney, Alexander
McQueen, and Yves Saint Laurent.

5. Leonardo Del Vecchio grew up in an
orphanage and later worked in a
factory where he lost part of his finger.
Net worth: $15.3 billion (as of March
2013)
Del Vecchio was one of five children
who was eventually sent to an
orphanage because his widow mother
couldn't care for him. He would later
work in a factory making molds of auto
parts and eyeglass frames. At the age
of 23, Del Vecchio opened his own
molding shop, which expanded to
become the world's largest maker of
sunglasses and prescription eyeware
with brands like Ray-Ban and Oakley.
4. Legendary trader George Soros
survived the Nazi occupation of
Hungary and arrived in London as an
impoverished college.
Net worth: $20 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
In his early teens, Soros posed as the
godson of an employee of the
Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture in
order to stay safe from the Nazi
occupation of Hungary. In 1947, Soros
escaped the country to live with his
relatives in London. He put himself
through the London School of
Economics working as a waiter and
railway porter. After graduating, Soros
worked at a souvenir shop before
getting a job as a banker in New York
City. In 1992, his famous bet against
the British pound made him a billion
dollars.

3. After his father died, business magnate Li Ka-shing had to quit school to help
support his family.
Net worth: $31 billion (as of March
2013)
Ka-shing fled mainland China for Hong
Kong in 1940s, but his father died when
he was 15, leaving Ka-shing
responsible for supporting his family. In
1950, he started his own company,
Cheung Kong Industries, which
manufactured plastics at first but
would later expand into real estate.

2. Harold Simmons grew up in a shack
with no plumbing or electricity.
Net worth: $40 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
As one of the richest people in the
world, Simmons grew up in a "shack"
without plumbing or electricity. He
managed to get accepted to the
University of Texas where he earned a
bachelor's and masters in economics.
Simmons got his first big break buying
a chain of drugstores, which would
later sell for $50 million. He went on to
become an expert in corporate buyout.
Simmons recently passed away at the
age of 82.

1. Oracle's Larry Ellison dropped out of
college after his adoptive mother died
and held odd jobs for eight years.
Net worth: $41 billion (as of Sept.
2013)
Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., to a single
mother, Ellison was raised by his aunt
and uncle in Chicago. After his aunt
died, Ellison dropped out of college and
moved to California to work odd jobs
for the next eight years. He founded
software development company Oracle
in 1977, which is now one of the largest
technology companies in the world.
Source: m.naij,com

A group of street children in India have
opened their own bank.
The bank, known as the Children’s
Development Khazana, was set up and
is now run by children in the Fatehpuri
neighbourhood of Old Delhi, India.
The bank was established on the
principle the children would make all the
rules and decisions.
Non Governmental Organisation
volunteers from child rights organisation
Butterflies, however, assist the day-to-
day running of the bank and sort out
any logistical issues.
Children aged nine to 18 can deposit
anything from a couple of pence to one
pound and get 3.5 per cent on their
deposits.
They can then withdraw up to five
pounds at a time.
It is open seven days a week and is run
by perhaps the youngest manger in the
world, 13-year-old Sonu.
He said: “I ran away from home and
started working at a tea stall. It was
bad. Then I met some volunteers who
told me about the bank. I came here.
Now I go to school and I am the (bank)
manager also.
“Kids make deposits. They can
withdraw anytime if they have to buy
something like clothes or eatables. The
bank is open seven days a week.’
Fourteen-year-old Sheru, who lived on
a railway platform, is a regular.
He said: ‘I have started saving money in
the Children’s Bank. I sell water bottles.
I put all the money that I earn into my
account. I have saved 5000-6000
rupees (£50-60) so far. I want to save
more in the future.”
Sheru says he wants to become a
photographer when he grows up. He
hopes to save enough to buy a camera
one day.
Raheemam, 15, who works as a rag
picker, also has an account.
She said: ‘I used to lose my money. One
day, I met a sister (NGO volunteer). She
told me about the children’s bank. So I
came here.
‘Now I work more freely. I know my
money is safe. I can withdraw money
when the need arises.’
Charity programme manager at
Butterflies, Shashidhar Sabnavis, said:
‘Street children were telling us that they
lose their money. Or they tend to spend
their money here and there.
“So, we at Butterflies decided on the
idea of operationalising a bank for
them.
‘They use their savings in the khazana
(bank) to meet their future needs.
“Some of them use their money to go
for higher education, or vocational
training. Some of them use it to start
small business enterprises.”
The charity also provides education,
shelter and care for Delhi’s vulnerable
children.
A teacher working for the organisation
Firdaus Ahma said: “Some kids here
have jobs. They work in shops or tea
stalls. We talk to those kids and
motivate them to study and join our
classes.
“This helps us bring them into the
mainstream.
“When kids start depositing their
earnings in the bank. That is an
education for life. They will inculcate the
habit of making savings. This will
become a habit and help them in the
future.”
The CDK initiative has won numerous
accolades, leading to the expansion of
the scheme to other parts of Delhi.
Now Butterflies plan to introduce the
initiative in Pakistan, Afghanistan,
Bangladesh as well as some parts of
Africa.
Sharon Jacob, a child rights activist,
said: “This programme has to go out
and reach as many needy kids as
possible. It can change lives.
“This is a bank for the kids who live
their life on the streets. The bank
motivates these kids – it offers them a
future.”
Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

a very gud letter indeed I never expected such (no offence but not many Nigerians recognise good music/artist) skales has it all but i feel he isnt supported well enough in d rap aspect. a friend of mine even suggested he leave eme for anoda label but none d less if dey actually let him do "him" and not change his style he would give top rappers a run for der money. PS : skales if u read dis pls change ur dress and hair style, we know ur trying to make a fashion statement but honestly it doesn't suit u.

Caracta: Of course. I wasn't referring to you directly. Just saying.

noted

dridowu: my sister and zeekz, u both can visit politics section , d only issue is dat u will have to be strong not to reply a negative comment abt ur tribe or else u 2 will join d crowd of of tribalistic pple. As for me i do visit also but hardly comment ds daz cos of ds tribalism/party/religion issue

I no b mumu so dem no fit use my head, thanx for d heads up.

Caracta: I disagree with this and I think it's childish. Must I behave like a mad man because he insulted me? Would it be appropriate if I danced with no clothes on around the streets because a mad man called me names? I keep telling people that insanity is more mental than physical.

Replying them in the same manner shows that you are just like them. No difference. No maturity displayed.

don't get me wrong wat I wrote was a way of saying "dis is how dey influenced some nairalanders " because he said wat kind of influence would dey have so I stated it out for him, I'm not saying I would reply an insult in d same manner but only making a clarification. thank you

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson]What influence will they impact, when they spend almost all the days of their life spewing thrash online. Ojukwu and Hitler were not internet noise makers.
For me I believe that tribalism occurs as a result of Nigerians indulging in politics, but when it comes to business or other aspect of life, no one remembers your tribal differences.[/color]

like someone said wen dey insult ur tribe u would b forced to do d same nw dis issue started wen an individual insulted someone's tribe d person replied in d same manner anoda member sees dis and insults d person in d same way thus bringing about dis tribal beef. its just like a virus dat spreads until a serious action is taken it would continue till it infects everyone. thank u

Elli-dude:
I think i caught her again with the hmmm comment

yeah she does that its her sign.

oga seun dis is a clear example of what I'm saying, I hope dis thread is closed and d moniker banned for life.
www.nairaland.com/1578255/nigeria-should-speaking-arabic-not

Okiki_Oluwa: Wetin concern you?
Mind your petty business.

oga go park for anoda junction Na my junction b dis u hear, Lol.

dridowu: my bro simple truth is that we all can't think the same way , my advice for u is if possible dont visit politics section on NL cos if u do and u read some pple comment about ur tribe esp negative comment you will be 99.9% force to abuse the other tribe.

but my oga u know its not possible Na.

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson]Don't judge Nigerians from what you see on Nairaland. Nairaland is just a site with approximately 1 million users (guests inclusive), out of 50 million Nigerians that have access to the internet, talk less of the entire 160M+ populace.
If Nigeria was as tribalistic as Nairaland, we won't have a country called Nigeria today.


HAPPY NEW YEAR![/color]

true but u know dey can influence a lot of people ryt if Adolf Hitler can influence Germany or ojukwu d igbos den dey can as well influence a lot more people dats y we need to try and stop it, thank you.

jmoore: Those who make tribalistic comments appear unintelligent to me. The height of their madness is when they create usernames that are tribalistic or put up tribalistic signatures.

Their hearts are at risk. With such hatred I wonder how they feel when they see a neighbour who is not from tribe excelling.

I am happy that not everybody on Nairaland is in support of tribalism.

Caracta: You are very right. I used to think Nigerians love one another. I used to pride myself in the love and unity until NL opened my eyes. In fact, I used to preach inter-tribal marriage and even tell anyone that I could marry from any ethnic group. Funny.

Nigeria will keep going round in circles until that unity and love reigns. I call ethnic bigots educated Illiterates and so I don't bother myself with them anymore. You can't give what you don't have. It's that simple.

u are absolutely correct, I used to think Nigerians dont see tribe as a barrier until I started reading topics in d political section dats y I created dis topic.

Seun: We do ban them...

oga seun, thank u but I don't think d ban comes as quickly as it should for instance a thread made front page and dey turned d whole tin to a tribal argument saying a tribe is responsible for d problems a state is facing, I know it is not easy to track all sentimental comments but der ar some well known monikers dat support tribalism and dey don't get banned.

Yomieluv: Nairaland is a reflection of the entity called Nigeria,where tribalism,sentiment,ethnicity are the order of the day. We all crave,shout for one Nigeria,but within ourselves,we all know we are only fooling each other.

The tribalism has eaten deep into the fabrics of our nationhood,at governance,tribalism is promoted at the expense of merit,who cares.

Till we put that aside,we will just be going round as a nation with no meaningful progress.

very true what we need now is a change with an iron fist to implement it, if seun starts to ban those guys maybe just maybe they would reduce it because I know Nigerians dey won't stop.

ejifranks: bros , I never finish my studio work na to come fight e war?? Lai lai

continue ur work my guy.

Okiki_Oluwa: My sweet potato

we dey discuss mata wey dey for Mathias u dey scope babe abi is alright.

koboko69: OP u dey bother urself with what u see on e-platform? I laugh in german...

With al the tribal/ religeous bashing...we all have one friend of the other from the same tribe bashed or from the same religion bashed online.

No give urself e-headache ooo!

I no fit get e-headache no b me born dem but if we let it continue, e go cause big wahala.

powerblaze: Yea, but who will bell the cat?
Its eaten very deep into the Nigerian DNA..
We cant all have the same ideologies or principles.. But we should learn to be constructive in our criticism n analysis.. Not just exhibit hate at spite at anything or anyone we dont sync with.. Whatever we say or do, should be in the best interest of Nigeria..
Truth is, if you truly love your country, there are certain things you simply WILL NOT do..

exactly nw if we actually put effort into achieving something we would get it but Nigerians are not like dat, we like things d hard way a new policy must b implemented wit an iron fist for Nigerians to actually get d point eg banning of some members b4 dey actually realise dat posting advert in a wrong section is not allowed, I'm saying dis because if we don't crack down on dis issue hard it would cause alot more damage Dan wat boko haram are doing.