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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / laughing your arse off 2 (3689 Views)
Big~arse Babes Vs Flat~arse Babes Vs Medium~arse Babes. / Daddy Give Me Arse Cleam / Funniest Thing Ever - Please Help Me Stop Laughing! (2) (3) (4)
laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:21pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
*****Amusing tracks****** Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said These look like deer tracks. The other said, No, they look like moose tracks. They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:23pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
*** the iron phone *** A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. Oh Dear! the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But. what happened to your other ear? The son of a b**h called back. 1 Like |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:24pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
***** Fly baby, Fly. ****** A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building, he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building? The blond answers in a very weak voice: we wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings, |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:28pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
Electric horse A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off, she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its rider continues, Now Vikki is grabbing on the the horses mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off the horse. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:33pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
******** :DTrip to disney land ********** Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said Disneyland -- Left, so they turned around and went home. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:36pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
****** Follow me home ***** A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it. Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by Migines(m): 8:39pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
Dis ur title is sooo NOT cool. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:41pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
************* wtf? are ya doing *************** On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES. By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down! |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:44pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
************* Here they are finally*************** Q: What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after reading her name tag? A: What did you name the other one!! A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms. Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde, Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim. Please tell me how you did this! The second blonde then says, But you ARE on the otherside! |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:47pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
************** Salt water tabby ***************** Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, Help me! Help me! Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man! |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:49pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
**************** Blohorn booze2 ********************* Judi went to a Dude Ranch on vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle. Judi asked what the difference was. Well, one has a horn and the other doesn't. Just get the one without the horn. I don't think we'll run into too much traffic out here. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:51pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
***************** First job found **************** A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions, Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm, 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm, 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm, I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case! |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:53pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, Would you like me to be your friend? The boy hesitated, then said, Okay, looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there? Because, the little boy said with great exasperation, I'm the bloody goalie. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:55pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
*************** 2''inch taller ****************** A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 8:58pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
*************** porn cleaner ***************** A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static, she says. Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent? the clerk replies. Head Cleaner, Mary replies. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by topeteadr(m): 9:11pm On Dec 23, 2007 |
************* heyy don'tr disturb me b*tch ***************** An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. You can't get out of your room? the captain asked, Why not? The stewardess replied: There are only three doors in here, she sobbed, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'! |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by ituen(m): 5:40am On Dec 26, 2007 |
Well done TT. for once, u've been resourceful 1 Like |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by Migines(m): 6:56am On Dec 26, 2007 |
"Very resourceful", if i may add. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by clemcykul(f): 12:17pm On Dec 27, 2007 |
hmmm were gonna have a very splendid new yr, am glad TT has repented nice jokes teadr keep up the attitude |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by ThugLife1(m): 1:10pm On Dec 27, 2007 |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by ravenzord(m): 1:34pm On Dec 27, 2007 |
nICE BLONDE JOKES,CHECK DIS out: How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by ravenzord(m): 1:45pm On Dec 27, 2007 |
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!" |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by micklplus(m): 2:10pm On Dec 27, 2007 |
Very Nice Blonde Jokes. Nice one bro Cheers |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by ituen(m): 8:01am On Dec 28, 2007 |
Good one Raven but Try and create ur own Topic where ur jokes can be beter appreciated What a wife - mimiko ROLFMAO - migines Joker collections - ituen Sam milla also has his own |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by mellow(m): 8:41am On Dec 28, 2007 |
Hmmmmm [/color][color=#990000] |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by clemcykul(f): 9:41am On Dec 28, 2007 |
iteun what about my collections |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by Uzzyan: 9:57am On Dec 28, 2007 |
please ituen what of clem's collections. |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by oziomatv(m): 9:59am On Dec 28, 2007 |
uzzyan nne kedu? |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by saucekid(m): 9:59am On Dec 28, 2007 |
it sunk with the titanic @ ozioma, here na jokes ooooooo,no begin relate for here |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by Uzzyan: 10:04am On Dec 28, 2007 |
@ ozi Adi m mma. Kee ka i mere? |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by Uzzyan: 10:08am On Dec 28, 2007 |
Pikin of the sauce na wa u o |
Re: laughing your arse off 2 by saucekid(m): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2007 |
na true na. . . . . the guy na scope man |
When You Smoke Osogbo Weed For The First Time / Photo Of The Day: A Gorilla Spotted Chilling / baddddddd joke!!!
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