*****Amusing tracks******


Two blondes were walking through the woods and they
came to some tracks.
The first blonde said These look like deer tracks.
The other said, No, they look like moose tracks.
They argued and argued and were still arguing when
the train hit them.

*** the iron phone ***

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her
ears and she answered, I was ironing a shirt
and the phone rang - but instead of picking up
the phone I accidentally picked up the iron
and stuck it to my ear.
Oh Dear! the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
But. what happened to your other ear?
The son of a b**h called back.

***** Fly baby, Fly. ******


A police officer arrives at an accident scene where
apparently three blondes have leaped to their death
from a very tall building, he suddenly notices that
one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks:
why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out
of that building?
The blond answers in a very weak voice: we wanted to
try out our new maxi-pads with wings,

Electric horse


A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback
riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt,
and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She
is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster,
so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a
little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her
grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off,
she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its
rider continues, Now Vikki is grabbing on the the horses
mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to
fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her
foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the
horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the
ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses
conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off
the horse.

******** :DTrip to disney land **********



Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four
hours they finally saw a sign that said Disneyland -- Left, so they
turned around and went home.

****** Follow me home *****


A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad
had once told her. If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow
plow and follow it.
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She
followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow,
to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can
follow me over to K-Mart.

Dis ur title is sooo NOT cool.

*************  wtf? are ya doing ***************



 On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES.
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.


Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain
and the top is down!

************* Here they are finally***************



Q: What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after
reading her name tag?
A: What did you name the other one!!


A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast
Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came
in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore
completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she
remarked:
I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their
arms.


Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first
blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde,
Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim.
Please tell me how you did this!
The second blonde then says, But you ARE on the otherside!

************** Salt water tabby *****************


Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around
a man. The man was screaming, Help me! Help me!
Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to
help that man!

**************** Blohorn booze2 *********************


Judi went to a Dude Ranch on vacation. The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.

Judi asked what the difference was.

Well, one has a horn and the other doesn't.

Just get the one without the horn. I don't think
we'll run into too much traffic out here.

***************** First job found ****************


A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.
The officer wants to ask her a few questions,
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm, 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm, 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm, I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she
got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, Not only did I get the job, I'm
already working on a murder case!

A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she
was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy
standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the
rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy
noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, Sandy said, Would you like me to be
your friend? The boy hesitated, then said, Okay, looking
at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress,
Sandy then asked Why are you standing here all alone?
Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over
there? Because, the little boy said with great exasperation,

I'm the bloody goalie.

*************** 2''inch taller ******************


A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A
neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just
right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was
stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine
until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again
our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure
the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that
the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

*************** porn cleaner *****************


A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she
hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult
video.
She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while,
selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable,
and puts the tape in the VCR.
To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she
calls the video store to complain.
I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape
but static, she says.
Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which
title did you rent? the clerk replies.

Head Cleaner, Mary replies.

************* heyy don'tr disturb me b*tch *****************

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess;
the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their
arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline
personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route,
he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in
at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

You can't get out of your room? the captain asked, Why not?

The stewardess replied: There are only three doors in here, she
sobbed, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign
on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!

Well done TT. for once, u've been resourceful

"Very resourceful", if i may add.

hmmm were gonna have a very splendid new yr, am glad TT has repented


nice jokes teadr keep up the attitude

nICE BLONDE JOKES,CHECK DIS out:


How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"

Very Nice Blonde Jokes. Nice one bro
Cheers

Good one Raven but Try and create ur own Topic where ur jokes can be beter appreciated

What a wife - mimiko

ROLFMAO - migines

Joker collections - ituen

Sam milla also has his own

iteun what about my collections

please ituen what of clem's collections.

uzzyan
nne kedu?

it sunk with the titanic

@ ozioma,
here na jokes ooooooo,no begin relate for here

@ ozi
Adi m mma.
Kee ka i mere?

Pikin of the sauce na wa u o

na true na. . . . .
the guy na scope man